//------------------------------// // 00 - Introduction // Story: No Heroes: Life of Pie // by PaulAsaran //------------------------------// Slam! The scrolls once held high in Fine Crime’s red magic dropped onto his head in a cascade of paper. It took him a moment to realize that the interruption had come from his front door. Grumbling to himself, he picked up the mess and deposited the scrolls neatly on his desk. Already he could hear the recognizable voice of somepony shouting for him. With a scowl, he lit up his horn and, in a wave of black smoke, teleported out of his office. That done, he turned and marched down the long hallway, following the shouts. He stepped out onto the balcony over the main entrance of his home, a massive room of wood paneling, soft carpet and two grand staircases that led up to his level. The front doors stood wide open, letting in the warm spring breeze. The intruder was nowhere to be seen… at first. A rainbow flew across the bottom floor, then took a sharp turn to fly right at him! In an instant Rainbow Dash was hovering just off the balcony in front of him. “There you are.” Fine glowered at her. “Rainbow, I know I said it’s alright for my friends to visit, even unannounced, but the least you could have done was knocked.” She shook a hoof at him. “Don’t change the subject!” Fine was sorely tempted to point out her mistake, but she continued before he could put action to his thoughts. “What’s this I hear about you and Pinkie going on vacation together?” The counter died on his lips. “You didn’t know about that? We’ve been planning it for three months.” “How am I supposed to know about it if neither of you tell me?” Pinkie never told her? Fine stared at Rainbow, trying to take this news in. How could Pinkie not have told her friends? Of course he hadn’t said anything, but he’d assumed she would. Indeed, how could she not? Pinkie told her friends just about everything. “Oi!” Rainbow waved a hoof in his face. “You gonna answer me or gape like a fish?” He shook himself out of the stupor. “She really didn’t tell you?” “No, she didn’t.” Landing next to him on the balcony, she studied him with a peering gaze. “And that worries me. Pinkie tells me everything! So I wanna know what’s going on.” He raised an eyebrow. “And you came all the way out here to ask me instead of her?” “I did ask her.” Rainbow’s wings rustled as she maintained her accusing expression. “She clammed up, which isn’t like her at all. I’m not gonna press her, ‘cause she looked scared, but that don’t mean I won’t squeeze the truth out of you. Now what did you do?” Worry ate at Fine’s gut, made all the worse by the fact that he could do nothing about it. Pinkie had been similarly quiet around him when he first asked what she intended to do on their trip. Like Rainbow, he’d decided not to pester her out of respect. But to have not told anypony about the trip at all? Rainbow shoved him backwards, derailing his train of thought. “Hey, I’m talking to you here! What did you do to make Pinkie sad?” “Why would I make Pinkie sad?” He swatted her hooves away and shook his head. “Come on, Rainbow. I wouldn’t hurt Pinkie.” “Oh, yeah?” Her eyes narrowed once more as she took a step closer. “You forget her scars?” Ice grew around Fine’s heart. Unable to meet her gaze, he turned his attention to the floor. “That was… I m-mean…” He closed his eyes tight. It had been months since Tidal, but sometimes he could still hear the screams. Rainbow took a quick step back. “Aw, crud, I’m sorry. Seriously. That was a low blow, wasn’t it?” He took a long, slow breath. “No. I… I did it. You’re right. I’ll never be sorry enough.” “I didn’t mean to—” She emitted a soft growl. “Dang it, this went way off the rails. Look, forget what I said, okay?” Forget? How could he forget? But Fine knew better than to speak his mind. Rainbow felt bad enough as it was, and she didn’t need to know that he still… sometimes… He nodded, but couldn’t meet her gaze. Rainbow sat heavily and turned to the balcony. “I’m sorry I jumped to conclusions. Again. It’s just that… Pinkie’s one of my best friends. She’s scared, and that makes me scared.” When Fine said nothing, she quietly asked, “Did she mention she confessed to me in Tidal?” He blinked and finally raised his head to look at her. Rainbow’s ears had tucked back and her wings slumped almost to the floor. He cocked his head at this unexpected behavior. “She did?” She waved her hooves limply at the air as if she had a griffon’s claws and was trying to grasp something. “Right after you got all freaky.” “Oh.” He fidgeted, hoof pawing at the floor. “Did she… say why?” Her ears perked, and when she raised her head Rainbow’s eyes were slightly crossed. “Um… yes and no? Something to do with the old crystal mines beneath Canterlot and something you did together down there.” Nothing he hadn’t heard before, then. Fine sighed and rested his chin on the guardrail. “I just don’t understand. Mares don’t like me, so why does Pinkie?” “If I could answer that, I’d expect to get a ‘smart pony’ award in recognition for my brilliance.” Rainbow paused, then winced. “Eh, no offense?” He waved a dismissive hoof. “None taken.” Scooting a little closer, Rainbow settled her head on the rail next to his, and they sighed in unison. After a moment’s quiet, she said, “Look at it from my position, okay? I think I know Pinkie better than any of our friends. No boast. She can do some crazy things, and she can be pretty brave when she has to. But I’ve also seen her at her worst. She’s a lot more fragile than most ponies think.” Tilting her head Fine’s way, she watched him with one eye. “I worry you’re gonna hurt her the same way Fluttershy hurt you.” No question, that was a legitimate concern. Fine had long gotten over Fluttershy’s rejection, but that first month afterwards had been terrible. He’d firmly avoided leaving his house for a while, save to visit Pinkie. He couldn’t not visit her, not after what he’d done. But he’d always done it carefully, ensuring he’d not be seen by anypony outside of Sugarcube Corner. Especially Fluttershy. Fine had read about such things in books. Rejection, breakups, things of that nature. He’d always thought those scenes melodramatic and overdone. How painful could it really be for a mare you liked to turn you away? It seemed ridiculous. Now that he’d experienced it, however… Well, he appreciated those scenes a lot more now. He pulled himself into a proper upright position, stretching his neck as he did. “I don’t know what’s going to happen on this little trip, Rainbow. I’m the one who suggested it, but it’s going to be her show. There are things that… we need to discuss.” He pursed his lips and considered his words. Feeling helpless, he turned to her and concluded, “We’re not gonna be there to have fun.” “Meeting the family.” Rainbow stood up and gave him a long, thoughtful look. “Yeah, I guess not.” Fine pawed the floor once more. “What do you know about them?” She shuffled from side to side, her wings ruffling in an anxious display. “Pinkie’s told me stories. But… just stories. I never once heard her say what anypony in her family has been doing since she moved to Ponyville.” She chewed her lip before adding, “That worries me, too.” Fine grimaced and looked to the open doors. “Yeah. That makes two of us.” If Pinkie could define how she felt right now, her word choice would probably give an etymologist a hernia. After much self-debate that lasted the entirety of her bouncing journey across Ponyville, she finally gave up and settled on “terrifanxifused,” but only because it had been the last thing to come to mind before she reached her destination. Now that she’d landed at the doorstep, however, the usual energy left her. Her reason for being here made her insides all squirmy, and she still couldn’t figure out if the feeling was a good one or not. Somehow, she suspected this was a “not” situation. Even so, she hurried to knock on the door before the annoying voices in her head stopped arguing with one another and made her leave. Why couldn’t those voices ever get along? She immediately regretted asking the question, because they promptly turned on her. What, me, get along with Miss Hidey McScaredy? B-but what if Fine doesn’t like it? Buck up, Pinkie! Fine will love it! But what if he doesn’t? Well, it’s not the end of the world. It sure feels like it’ll be the end of the world! And I don’t wanna be responsible for that. Before she could get between the two and call for a time out, the door opened. Rather than the face she expected, though, Pinkie had to look down. “Hi, Sweetie Belle.” Sweetie grinned up at Pinkie, brushing her mane out of her eyes as she did. It had grown a bit longer in the last few months, and Pinkie couldn’t help being a tiny bit jealous at that. She instinctively reached up to touch her own mane, which had yet to reach its former length from before her fight with… She shivered and shoved that thought aside, the two voices in her head more than happy to lend a hoof in the endeavor. “Morning, Pinkie Pie. Here to see Rarity? Oh!” She gave a little bounce, her legs kicking at the air. “I bet you’re here about your dress for Nye and Rainbow’s wedding! It’s gonna be amazing!” Pinkie gave a “tut-tut” and pressed a hoof to the filly’s muzzle, taking on a haughty tone. “Now, Sweetie Belle, you know that’s no way to talk.” She let the words sink in as Sweetie’s eyes crossed and her head cocked sideways. “Any wedding involving Rainbow isn’t going to be ‘amazing,’ it’s going to be…” They grinned at once and shouted in unison, “Awesome!” Pinkie gave a confident nod. “I am 120% confident that’s the only word Rainbow wants associated with her wedding.” “You are so right,” Sweetie Belle said with a grin. “What the hay was I thinking?” “That you need to get to school?” Rarity appeared in the doorway, dropping Sweetie’s book-filled saddle on her back without ceremony. The filly lost her breath as the weight made her knees buckle, but she recovered admirably. “Go on now. And remember, Mother intends to meet you at the schoolhouse.” “Got it: Mom, schoolhouse.” Sweetie saluted before running off. “See you later, Pinkie!” “Have a good day!” Rarity waved to her before turning to Pinkie, whose voices had decided to go completely silent at the sight of her. “Good morning, Pinkie. I must admit, I’m surprised to see you here so early. Would you like some break—” She paused, a hoof rushing to her lips and her eyes widening. “Oh, dear. You’re still stuck on soups, aren’t you? I’m so sorry.” Pinkie winced, but managed to keep from rubbing the scar on her belly. At least her coat had grown thick enough to make the old injuries invisible to the casual eye, but the forced diet of soups and other liquids had brought her weight down significantly. A sad reminder of the lack of sweets in her life these days. “It’s alright. If I’m lucky, I’ll be able to eat proper foods next month. I am going to have so many cupcakes!” Her mouth watered just from the thought of it. “I miss cupcakes so much, it’s like I’ve only ever had them in my dreams. Do you know what it’s like to have gone so long without something you can’t remember what it was like in the first place? Do you? Do you?” Her muzzle pressed against Rarity’s, while her were eyes wide and twitching. Rarity forced out a laugh and stepped back. “N-not sure that I have.” “Well, let me tell you—” Pinkie stepped back and threw her hooves high in the air, flopping onto her back in the progress. “—it’s terrible!” “Quite.” Rarity recovered from her moment of uncertainty with her classic, charming smile. “So, what brings you to my humble boutique?” As an afterthought, she added, “Tea?” Pinkie rolled to her hooves with a sigh. “Yeah, tea would be nice, thanks.” As she followed Rarity into the boutique, she felt her hooves grow heavier. Which was silly, because they didn’t look any bigger. The purpose of her visit danced at the tip of her tongue, but dancing was not diving, and she really needed the words to dive off. As the voices in her head tried to pressure her into speaking or not speaking, she sat at Rarity’s kitchen table with a sigh. Seconds passed as the war in her head continued. The idea was dumb, it would never work. But she had to try, right? No, she’d just be wasting Rarity’s time. Then again, Rarity would never consider something like this a waste. A challenge, for sure, but not a waste. Even if failure was… inevitable. It was inevitable, wasn’t it? Pinkie stared at her hooves, trying not to wonder how that squid had gotten all tangled up in her insides. She didn’t like him being there. The voices agreed for a change. This was the opposite of fun. Maybe she should just— A glowing cup of tea landed before her on the table, interrupting her meandering thoughts. “Bit for your thoughts?” Rarity asked. Not quite the right question. Pinkie opened her mouth to respond, but all she managed was air. She cringed and took the teacup in her hooves. Maybe the heat would loosen those words so they’d stop dancing on her tongue and actually leave her mouth. She raised the cup to her lips. “Pinkie, wait—!” The tea scalded and Pinkie quickly pulled back. She grimaced and set the cup down before rubbing her tender mouth. “Owie.” Rarity leaned across the table, levitating a napkin to brush at Pinkie’s lips. “Oh, dear, are you alright?” There was a proper answer to that question. An easy answer. An answer that would be expected, comfort her friend and settle the matter entirely. “Can you make me a new dress within the next four days?” That was not the proper answer. Pinkie cringed and turned away from Rarity, hiding her face behind her hoof. “A dress?” Rarity asked after a pause. “I don’t understand. I’ve finished your dress for the wedding, and you still have your dress from the Gala.” Oh frumple, the words were gonna come out all on their own now, weren’t they? Bracing for disappointment, her voice low, Pinkie sat by helplessly as they went on without her. “Those are… they’re nice, but they’re… fun. I don’t want a fun dress.” Rarity’s second silence went for much longer. When she spoke again, it was with hesitation. “Okay, not a ‘fun’ dress. I admit to being perplexed. ‘Fun’ defines the entirety of your fashion sense. If you’re not looking for something ‘fun,’ then what are you looking for?” She bit her burned lip, trying to keep the words from escaping. This was such a horrible, terrible, stupidumb idea and she never should have come here! Rarity would laugh and then she’d— “C-can you make me look…” No, no, don’t say it! “…p-pretty?” Rarity’s teacup came to a stop right before her lips as her eyes took on a glazed quality. Pinkie let her mane fall, glad it was just long enough to hide her burning face. Despite the empty feeling in her stomach and both little Pinkies in the back of her mind shaking their heads frantically, she couldn’t resist peeking through her locks. Rarity blinked, her gaze steadily refocusing on her. “I… Pardon me, darling, I seem to have suffered from a bit of a daydream. How woefully disrespectful of me, but it shan’t happen again. So. Could you repeat that?” Flinching, Pinkie leaned back from the table. She turned her face away, using her mane to fully hide from Rarity's gaze. Oh, why did Rarity have to act like that? Saying it once had been a… a mistake. Yes, a mistake. She should just— “I should just go.” She got three steps before Rarity was in her face, holding her at arm’s length. Eyes wide and voice faint, Rarity asked, “Wait, you mean I wasn’t daydreaming? You really asked me to help you look pretty?” Pinkie squirmed, but couldn’t escape her friend’s hold on her shoulders. “I… It was a mistake. I know it’s impossible, a-and… I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything. I’m wasting your time and you probably think I’m being silly and you’re right because I feel like the dumbest dummy that ever dumbed up anything and I’ll never ask again and—” Her apologetic rant was drowned out by something between a squeal and a laugh. Rarity’s mouth opened in a grin Pinkie wasn’t quite sure she’d ever seen on the mare. With stars shining in her eyes, Rarity squeezed Pinkie in a hug so tight she lost breath. “Oh, darling, this is fantastic! Of all my friends who might finally ask this of me, I never imagined it would be you. We have to get started on the design right away. I’ll need details; something saucy or more innocent? Canterlot sleek or Prance oh-la-la or maybe Manehattan traditional?” Pinkie was on the highway of her mind again, but where that highway normally filled up with mini-Pinkies vying for her attention, she found herself stuck in some alternate universe where the roads were clogged with mini-Rarities all driving in a million directions, shouting over one another and honking their horns and not doing a good job at all of obeying the rules of the road. Totally lost in this unfamiliar territory, she had no other option but to take the first escape she could, which was the exit of— “I’m confused.” Rarity’s rant came to a screeching halt – at least it screeched in Pinkie’s head – as she took in her face. “Oh, my. Whatever is the matter?” “Y-you mean…” Pinkie licked her dry, sore lips. She searched her friend’s eyes for some sign of doubt or deception. “You mean you can do it?” “Oh, don’t be silly, darling. Of course I can!” She looked perfectly serious. The square peg of her confidence tried to press into the round hole that was Pinkie’s comprehension, with predictable results. “B-but how? I’m not pretty. I’m not attractive at all. How could you possibly make a pony like me—” “Pish-posh.” An immaculate white hoof wagged between them. “None of that, now. Every mare is perfectly capable of being beautiful, and you are no exception. Wherever did you get this silly idea that you aren’t pretty?” Once more, Pinkie hunched back and averted her gaze. “If I were pretty, wouldn’t a stallion have asked me out by now? I’ve never… so I must not be…” At first, Rarity’s appeared alarmed, then sad. She recovered quickly, however, setting her jaw and straightening her shoulders. “Well, have you ever tried to be attractive before?” Peeking out from behind her mane, Pinkie asked, “Why would I do that? How?” With a smug smile, Rarity stepped around and wrapped a leg about Pinkie’s shoulders. “Well then, I think that’s your problem. How could you ever expect to attract a stallion’s attention if you’ve never tried? But you and I are going to remedy that, oh, yes we are!” She spoke with pride, waving her hoof before them as if to display a great sight. “By the time I’m done with you, you’ll be the belle of the ball. The most beautiful mare in a mile-wide radius. With the dress I shall design, you will be everything Fine’s ever desired!” At the mention of the name, Pinkie let out a squeak and bounced away. “H-how did you know? I didn’t tell… wait, did Rainbow tell you? But she Pinkie Promised not to!” Rarity’s lips curled to one side in a saucy smile, her eyes narrowing with fiendish delight. “Rainbow didn’t say a thing, but she didn’t have to. I’ve seen the way you look at him. And you did say you wanted it in four days, which I can’t help but notice is right before the two of you are leaving on that little vacation of yours.” Pinkie thought her eyes might fall out of her head if they got any wider. “You know about the trip?” “That one Rainbow did tell me.” Rarity licked her lips lasciviously, her tail swishing side to side like that of a cat prepared to pounce on a favorite toy. “And I expect juicy details when you get back.” She was back on that highway again, but this time her little car was surrounded on all sides by mini-Rarities driving as close as they could, and every last one of them stared at her with the same eager grin. It was so terribly distracting that she crashed then and there. “But I don’t know any juicy details,” she cried, throwing her hooves up in the air. “I don’t even know if there’s any juice to be juiced! I want him to like me but I’m not pretty and his last crush was Fluttershy and that’s some big wings to fill and I don’t even have wings so I don’t know what I’m gonna do and coming here was a last desperate gamble and I’m pretty good at gambling because Pinkie Sense but I don’t think even you can make me that pretty but I don’t think Fine will notice me if I’m not and I wanna be noticed so bad it’s driving me on all sorts of crazy twists and turns until my highway is all tangled up in knots and I don’t know where to go and I’m so confused and scared and more scared than confused make that super scared because we’re gonna talk about things I really don’t wanna talk about but I have to talk about them because it’s important for things to get juicy and I need wings like Fluttershy and I don’t even know what I’m saying anymore!” She fell to her knees and buried her face in her hooves, shivering and breathing heavily. Her heart pounded as if she’d just ran a marathon. Her eyes burned like fire. For a tender moment, she forgot where she was and what she’d been doing. Her mind felt stretched, pulled apart by so many competing thoughts that wanted nothing to do with one another. She couldn’t even decide if she wanted to scream. “Oh, Pinkie.” She felt Rarity resting beside her, pressing their sides together as she cooed softly in her ear and stroked her mane. “You really are new to this whole romance thing, aren’t you?” “He’s gonna reject me,” Pinkie whispered, placing her forehooves on the floor but unable to lift her head. “I just know it.” Rarity nuzzled her cheek. “Is that Pinkie Sense talking?” “I… I don’t know.” She felt at her barrel and groaned. “Pinkie Sense is usually… y’know, floppy ears and twitchy tails. This is just an icky feeling in my stomach, like I had way too many cupcakes, but the icky feeling won’t go away.” She rested her chin on the floor and sighed. “I don’t want to be rejected.” “Those feelings are natural, dear.” Rarity resumed stroking her mane, her voice soothing. “Every pony feels this way when facing down the pony they care about.” With a sniff, Pinkie shifted her head to eye her friend. “Really?” Rarity nodded with a soft smile. “Of course. Romance is a risky business. Every pony knows that. The knowledge is embedded in our very souls, and when the time comes, our bodies react appropriately.” She tapped her chin, eyes drifting to the ceiling. “At least, that’s how I like to look at it. Mother liked to use a ‘boat on the sea’ analogy, but then she was always squeamish on the water.” “B-but if it’s so scary and dangerous, why do we do it?” Pinkie asked, one part frightened and another part curious. “Well, why do we?” Rarity asked, looking at Pinkie expectantly. Pinkie took a moment to look back at all the mini-Rarities and mini-Pinkies standing around her crashed vehicle on the mental highway between the exits to confusion and fear. They just stared back blankly. When she failed to produce a response, Rarity did so for her. “It’s because we know the reward is worth the risk.” “Is it?” Pinkie’s eyes widened a bit. “Is it really?” “You tell me.” Rarity set her hooves atop one of Pinkie’s. “You’re scared. You’re hurting. You have no idea what’s coming. You’re entering entirely new territory. And yet you still came to me for help. You’re still trying. Why do you think you would do that?” “Because… b-because…” Why would she do that? Was it because she felt so happy when Fine was around her? Or perhaps the way he grew flustered with her made his cheeks puff up in that cute little way. Could it be how when she finally got him to attend one of her parties, he’d looked so scared and lost like a little puppy? Or perhaps it was the way he could be so confident and sturdy when the entire world seemed like it was falling down around him. Or maybe she wasn’t really addressing Rarity’s question. She hadn’t asked why Pinkie was after Fine, she asked why Pinkie was after love. Was there a disconnect there? Did there have to be? Pinkie liked Fine. If he didn’t want to be with her, that would be the worst possible thing, something to which the mini-Rarities in her head all nodded in firm agreement. But if it happened, by some unlikely, once in a bajillion million zillion chance, then Pinkie would surely be… “Because something tells me it’s worth it,” she said aloud, amazed at her own little discovery. Rarity beamed at her and nodded. “Because I really, really want Fine to like me, even if the idea of him not liking me gives me a tummy ache.” “There, you see? Not so complicated, is it?” Rarity gave her a hug, which Pinkie eagerly returned. “Thanks, Rarity. But I still don’t know what I’m doing.” She tapped her hooves together as her cheeks grew hot. “Do you really think you can make me pretty?” “There’s a lot more to catching a stud’s heart than being pretty,” Rarity replied primly, but then amended with a sly smile, “But it never hurt. And yes, I have absolute confidence. When I am finished, you’ll be turning the heads of every stallion in sight, and maybe a few mares too.” “Oh, no, I couldn’t have that.” Pinkie shook her head frantically. “I don’t want Fine to get hurt trying to fight stallions and mares off for my hoof or anything! Although that would be an amazing way to show he cares, just turning Fine’s head will do.” Rarity giggled and stood. “Don’t worry, Fine won’t be able to look at anything but you.” For the first time since this whole mess started, Pinkie felt a trickle of hope. She sat up and rubbed her straightened mane with both hooves. “Um… for the dress… can you make it work with my mane like this?” At Rarity’s questioning look, she added, “I think Fine likes it better this way. I’m not sure, but I think so.” Rarity opened and closed her mouth a few times, brow furrowed and muzzle scrunched up. She seemed to shake something off before finally saying, “Darling, I’m more than willing to accommodate that request. But please remember: if Fine is going to like you, he’s going to like you for you, not for your manestyle.” She didn’t understand, and Pinkie had no means of explaining. So, with a sigh, she nodded. “I get it. Honest. But… please?” Pursing her lips, Rarity peered into Pinkie’s eyes. Pinkie fidgeted, not sure what was expected of her. Yet, after only a moment, her friend smiled. “Oh, very well.” As if the matter were behind them, Rarity reared back to gesture grandly at the stairs. “Step into my parlor, Pinkie. It’s time I made you shine!” She punctuated the statement with a giddy giggle. Despite everything, Pinkie grinned. She didn’t know if even Rarity was good enough to make her pretty, but for the first time she felt as if this trip with Fine might not be a total disaster. “You’re staring at her.” Without years of training and experience, Fine might have leapt out of his horseshoes. Instead, her turned his head to find Octavia standing at his side in the shadows of a shop. She cocked her head with a concerned frown. “How serious?” He blinked. “What?” Octavia’s frown only deepened. “Nopony sneaks up on you, and I wasn’t even trying. So… how serious is this thing that troubles you?” She turned her gaze to pack-laden Pinkie, who bounced circles around an amused Rarity and Rainbow Dash outside the train station. “You know she’s probably aware you’re here.” With a sigh, he nodded and looked to the animated, mysterious pink mare. “Probably. As to seriousness… Pretty serious.” She glanced at him, then at his own set of packs. “Should I be worried about you two?” “Probably. Probably not.” He offered what he suspected was a wan smile. “Depends on the context. In terms of our physical health? We’ll be alright.” A grey eyebrow rose over a skeptical gaze. “And as a couple?” He choked and turned away once more. “Verdict’s still out on that one.” “You two as a couple. It seems almost surreal, picturing it in my head. How do you feel about it?” Why was she asking these questions? He wished she would stop. Yet, for reasons he couldn’t fathom, it felt important that he give an answer. Any answer. Better that than the doubt that came with silence. “I… don’t know how to feel about it.” Okay, maybe not any answer. Was that a gasp he heard? “Do you at least find her attractive?” He looked at her once more, and saw a much deeper worry in her eyes than before. What did she want him to say? What was he supposed to say? He was sure there was a proper response, but it eluded him. He closed his eyes and focused for a moment on the moths that seemed to have nested in his stomach over the past week. He opened his eyes and looked to Pinkie, who had engulfed Rarity in a breath-stealing hug while Rainbow looked on. At last, he forced something out of his throat. “I’m sorry. I know you want me to say something that makes this not look like a big mistake. The only experience I have with courting is one overlong and unrequited crush. This is… different. I don’t want to mess this up, but…” He raised a foreleg between them, displaying it as if it were a wound. Near-imperceptible trembling dominated its motions. His eyes met hers, and he silently begged for help. “I have no idea what I’m doing.” She observed his hoof, then stared into his eyes. A sly smile drifted across her lips. “You’re like a colt on his first date, aren’t you?” Heat bloomed in his cheeks. The moths grew restless. “I’ve never been on a date.” The smile vanished as her jaw dropped. “Never? Not even for the job?” He took this opportunity to study the grass at his hooves. “I was more focused on breaking necks than hearts.” She heaved a deep sigh. “I wish you’d said something sooner. Your friends would have given you advice.” The train whistle blew. “Too late for that now. You need to go.” “I guess I do,” he replied with equal parts eagerness and dread. “Thanks for seeing me off. Unexpected, but appreciated.” Her small smile came back, only this time it seemed much more sincere. “Of course. And don’t worry, I’ll keep the others in line while you’re gone.” “I appreciate that.” He noted Pinkie climbing aboard the train. “That’s my cue. See you later, Octavia.” “You too. And good luck.” Smokey clouds formed around him, and Fine felt the familiar shift in his surroundings. When it passed and the smoke faded, he stood in an empty private room on the train. In an instant, he took in his surroundings; the chip in the corner of the window, the stain on the front-side seat cushion he didn’t want to know the source of, door and which direction it opened, the fact the window was locked, the number and tone of the voices in the hallway outside... Gradually, the instant sensory check that was typical for him faded, replaced by a numbing thought: This is actually happening. The door slid open and Pinkie trotted in, grinning from ear to ear. The moment the door closed, however, her mane went limp and her smile shifted into something less cheery and more… uncertain. The two ponies sat and stared at one another. Fine felt… full? Like air had been pumped into his chest. The moths were doing a flying routine in the extra space and his tongue seemed to have developed an attraction with the roof of his mouth. He didn’t know whether he should teleport away or… or what else? The whistle blew once more and the train began to move. At last, Pinkie broke the quiet between them. “So… we’re really doing this.” Fine swallowed, and found his tongue heeding his commands at last. “Yeah. I guess we are.” Moving with a strange coordination, they settled on opposite sides of the room. For a few anxious seconds, Fine couldn’t bring himself to look at her. When he did at last, it was to meet a wall of mane hiding her face. Should he say something to her? He had no idea. At last, he turned his attention to the scenery beyond the window, though he saw none of it. One thought, distracting as it was disturbing, echoed in his mind: I wasn’t prepared for this.