//------------------------------// // What Can I Say? They Were Cute As Foals // Story: I'm Not A God! // by jwizard //------------------------------// Oh, hello again. Wasn’t sure you’d show up today or not. Cookie? Well, what story do you wish to hear now? Huh; should have expected that. Which one do you wish to know? Well, I’ve helped several over the years, so you’ll have to specify. Ah, those princesses. Which one? All of them? That’s going to take awhile. The thing is, I first met both Celestia and Luna when they were foals. I also met their mothers and father. *chuckles* Well, that’s one of the things that so many get wrong; Celestia and Luna have the same dad, but different mothers. I’d tell you more, but that will spoil the story. Anyway, one morning- about a year after I first moved here -I woke up as a pony. Really, I was used to it by this point; especially as I had gone to sleep as one. This time, I could feel that there was something really bad on the way, so I made my way to my armory. Once there, I grabbed one of my cored swords and a crystal staff, as well as a prepared set of saddlebags. How did I know that I would need a weapon? I just did; same as I always know what may be needed in any given situation. I then flew to the back patio and right through the open portal. Once on the other side, I found myself in the grove just outside the temple. Two mares I recognized were being guarded by several stallions, led by a horse with eight hooves. I blinked, but the number didn’t change. I was starting at Sleipnir Odinsteed in the flesh. My attention was quickly grabbed by the fact that we were surrounded by a band of unicorns, minotaur, and centaur. I pulled my sword from its sheath and prepared a fireball spell. Things from there got bloody. After a very tense- and bloody -hours worth of work, I stood at the entrance of the grove holding a level one barrier up. Sleipnir trotted up next to me. “Well, I must thank you Keeper; you made guarding my mates and their foals that much simpler.” I looked at the god. “How are they?” I asked. I was understandably worried for both Clover and Pansy, as they were both friends. Sleipnir smiled and motioned with his hoof. “Come and see. Oh, don’t worry; the Valkyrie have arrived, so King Blueblood won’t be sending any more hired thugs.” I followed the horse into the temple, after making sure that the barrier would hold. Hey, I was a Boy Scout you know; it always pays to be prepared. Once inside the temple’s foyer, my eyes misted over as I saw both Pansy and Clover holding small bundles with both horns and wings. Clover’s foal was a pinkish white with a pink mane and cerise eyes. She looked at me with deep interest. Pansy’s, on the other hoof, was a deep blue with teal eyes. She was busy batting at a strand of Pansy’s mane. Odin’s mount touched my shoulder. “Can I impose on you once more? The Valkyrie aren’t enough for my piece of mind, I would be forever grateful if you would watch over them while I take care of a King that doesn’t know his place.” I shrugged and nodded. Sleipnir’s front hooves glowed gold. Golden light flowed around my hooves, chest, and back, solidifying into a set of light yet strong plate armor. “Brokkr and his brother forged this set for me; consider it my payment.” He then galloped off, soon taking flight. I sat down on my haunches and lowered my head to nuzzle Clover’s foal. She giggled and latched onto my snout. I looked at Clover. “What are you going to name her?” I asked. “She is Celeste; Pansy’s is Lun. I am Sleipnir's Mate by Day, whereas Pansy’s is by Night.” I nodded, already well aware of who the two really were. I looked up at the setting Sun. “I can say that these two have a special destiny.” I pulled out a small tome and four amulets out of my saddlebags. “The glyphs in this tome will help you to prepare a place of safety for yourselves when the Time of Chaos arrives.” I handed two of the amulets and the tome to Clover. The other two I gave to Pansy. “What will you need for your aid, Keeper?” I shook my head. “Celeste and Lun’s survival is reward enough.” I looked forward at the clop of staccato hooves. “Any luck?” I asked Sleipnir as he joined us. The Aesir nodded. “Princess Platinum wasn’t at all pleased to find out that her father and his council had ordered my capture and the death of her friends and allies. They are all statuary; Platinum passed judgement. I shrugged. “I’ve had the misfortune to meet the King of the Unicorns. Not much of a loss.” I spread my wings. “Well, I must be off; there are four others I need to give aid to before I return home. Take care of those little ones; the Twisted One of Chaos will soon arrive.” I then flew off towards Pegasopolis. That was the first time I saw Celestia and Luna, though as you’d expect, neither remembers it. They still have the amulets though, which protect against Chaos magic. They wore them right up to finding the Tree. The next time I saw either of them was a couple of weeks later. I had spent much of the day in my garden in my alicorn form, tending my silver apple tree. I looked up at the clop of hooves, and saw a young alicorn mare approaching me. I knew who this was immediately. Though smaller than she would be later, this was Celestia, the Alicorn of the Sun. The mare bowed, then sat in front of me. I could tell that she was quite sad, though doing her level best to hide it. I picked one of my Silver Apples and gave it to her. She nodded in thanks. “Well, Princess Celeste, what brings you to my humble home?” I asked the alicorn. She frowned prettily. “Since I took over rule of Equestria with my sister five centuries ago, I now go by Celestia.” She sighed; I could hear the painful hitch. “I come for aid Keeper. Advice it you can give it, and a way for us to communicate far more easily.” I nodded, and led the way to my study. “I don’t know as advice would be a good thing or not. Despite my appearance, I’m not all that old.” Celestia shook her head, smiling. “My mother always told me that years are never an indication of wisdom. She also told me that ‘the Keeper is wise beyond his ken; you would do well to heed all that he tells you.” I blushed. “Well, she was always a good friend.” We stopped next to a pair of mirrors that I had recently crafted. “Well, I have here just the thing; these will allow us to communicate across the Voids that separate our worlds, both in Time and in Space.” I scratched my head. “Trouble is, neither of them have been enchanted yet.” Celestia blinked. “My payment was a book of scrying and communication spells penned by Luna,” she said. She pulled it out and opened it to the relative page. The next few minutes were spent in enchanting both mirrors, then sending hers back to her home so that it wouldn’t break. Once this was done, the pair of us had cake and ice cream. “I must beg of you as to how this wondrous confection is made; it goes good with cake.” I chuckled. “No need for that; one of your young inventors already begged for a ‘new dessert to wow the Princess.” She chuckled with me. Her muzzle turned downward as she set down her spoon. “My second need is more painful. I-I’ve lost my sister to Dark Magic addiction and the wiles of our enemies in the Noble Court. These next thousand years will be hard.” She looked at me, eyes hard. “What good counsel I’ve received tells me that I should not punish all of the nobles for their role in Luna’s banishment, but I see that she was right. They’re a worthless, needless part of government.” I shook my head. “If you get rid of the nobles completely, you’ll have to go with elected officials; that’s little better.” I thought for a few minutes before remembering something Hurricane once told me. “Instead of getting rid of the nobles, why not make it so that they must earn their seat completely through merit. Say, serving on the front lines, or in the public sectors. At the same time, place those you can truly trust in key positions.” Celestia blinked. “That seems a most balanced system. Is that what your world does?” I laughed at that. “Hardly; we here run the gamut from dictatorships to republics with elected officials.” I made a face. “Even though I’m a patriotic American, I sometimes wish we still had a King; there doesn’t seem to be as many problems in England as there is in the U.S.” Celestia chuckled. “Oh, Kings are often more good than bad.” She sobered up. “It must be hard for the ponies of your lands then.” Celestia blinked as I started chuckling. “What? Have I crumbs on my muzzle?” I shook my head. “Celestia, appearances aside, my world is not made up of ponies.” I lifted a picture of my twin nieces off my desk. “These are what they- and I -look like.” Celestia stared at the picture. “Humans! Your world is a Human world!” I nodded, grinning. “Yes it is. You don’t seem all that surprised that we exist.” Celestia shrugged. “Star Swirl took both myself and Luna on trips to alternate realities when we were first learning magic.” She shuddered. “The one with the Smooze was the hardest to deal with. Seeing myself as a Smooze gave me nightmares for a month.” I cringed. “Yeah, I imagine that would be hard to take in. The two of us sat and talked through the night. I didn’t learn how much she took away from that conversation. She left just before dawn; she had to lower the Moon and raise the Sun. I did my best to get some sleep, wondering how my next visit with Luna would go. I was looking forward to it. No offense, but Luna Is Best Pony.