The Tale Of A Lost Wolf

by Solaris Night


Chapter 16: Memories of Darkness; Moons Consolation

Darkness.

Silence.

Everywhere Trider faced that was all that was present. He tried to call out to someone, anyone, but while his lips moved no sound came out. He tried desperately to fill the void that surrounded him, but it was futile.

*Plop*

His ears perked up as he tried to locate the sound. He looked around, but darkness still enveloped him.

*Plop* *plop*

It was close.

*Plop*

It was coming from... Below?

He looked down and his eyes widened at what he saw. His hands were covered in blood and drops of blood fell onto the nonexistent floor, creating a loud echo as they hit the ground. Averting his eyes from his hands, he raised his head. As he looked up he noticed that the darkness was gone and instead of it buildings now surrounded him. The scene however looked eerily familiar.

"The Crystal Empire?" he said in a whispering tone.

Although it looked exactly like the city he was in not a while ago, it was different. The vibrant blue sky was replaced with a crimson red one and there was not a living soul to be seen.

"Hello? Is anyone there?" he called out, but received no response.

Suddenly he heard a faint sound of someone crying. He looked around and saw a small child huddled up against a wall of a building. He slowly approached, trying not to scare it.

"Hey there little one. Are you lost?" he said in a soft tone, as he extended his arm. The child gave him no response as it continue to cry. "Are you lost? I can help you find your folks, if you'll let me."

He placed a hand onto the childs shoulder and slowly turned it around. As soon as he could see their face, Triders eyes widened in horror and he jumped away. The filly's head was deformed, clearly crushed with great force, and her eyes were completely lifeless. Furthermore, he could clearly see traces of tears, that mixed in with filly's blood and her face was contorted in pure fear.

The sight made Trider sick as he turned away, unable to look at the disfigured child any longer. "Who would do such a thing?" he said as he tried to hold down his lunch.

Suddenly the air was filled screams and sounds of hooves. As he looked around he saw numerous ponies run away from a monsterous form that was attacking them. Trider observed the monster and noticed it was slightly larger than him, it had long black fur covering it and instead of a face it had a white mask, that bore a wide toothy smile. Its glowing, soulless red eyes stared at the stallion who was trying to crawl away from the monstrosity.

It raised its hand and in one swift motion pierced it right through the ponys chest. The action brought Trider out of his staring and he ran towards it. When he got close enough he pounced into the air and delivered a double kick. The strike toppled the monster over adn the Kanisar walked over it.

"You'll pay for what you did to these folk. Right here, right now." he said, as he started to punch the monsters mask, slowly cracking it. All the while he did that, the monster remained still, not moving an inch or show any sign of pain. When he thought he had killed it, Trider reached down and grabbed the mask. "Now lets see what your ugly mug looks like."

With a single yank the mask came off and what Trider saw made his blood run cold. The one who was hiding under the mask was himself, but the face it was making was one the Kanisar only saw psychopaths make. In confusion he dropped the mask that shattered into pieces, as it hit the floor. "What the fu-?" Before he could finish his question, the sound of a mare screaming drew his attention away from his monstrous self.

"By gods, he killed him!" she shouted as she pointed a finger at Trider. The other ponies looked at him in terror and they as well began to scream. He didn't know why they were reacting like that, after he saved them. But once he looked back at the monster he understood why. Where there once was the monster, was now the lifeless body of a stallion. His face was bashed in and it was now completely unrecognizable.

Trider quickly got up and backed away from the body. "No. I-I didn't do this." he tried to defend himself, but the ponies began to run away from him, in fear for their lives. "I killed a monster, not this stallion. Please listen to me."

"Who would listen to a murderer?"

The voice was distant, yet at the same time it sounded like it came from right beside him. Trider looked around trying to find out where it came from. "Who's there?" he shouted. "What do you mean?"

"You killed them!" Turning around, he came face to face with a large wolf. Its fur seemed like it was made out of black fire and its bloody red eyes stared directly into Triders green ones.

"What in hell?" Trider whispered as he reached out his hand trying to grab the wolf. However it simply phased through it and he grabbed thin air. Confused he tried again and again, but with no results. Eventually the beast walked forward and passed right through the Kanisar, leaving him with a bitter chill. He shivered at the experience and a turned around, following the wolfs movement.

Once he fully turned around his eyes widened at what he saw. On the ground laid the bodies of his friends. He ran towards them, charging past the wolf. When he got close he fell to his knees and picked up the limp form of Dynamism. "Dyna wake up!" he said as he gently shook her, but he got no response. He tried again this time shaking her harder and still the mare didn't react. "Please wake up!" he said in a pleading tone. Still not getting a response he brought her limp body closer to him, as he embraced his friend.

"Who did this?" he said, rage lacing his voice as he began to shake in anger.

"I already told you." spoke the wolf as he approached him. "We killed them!"

"Stop fucking with me!" he shouted back at it. "I would never do such a thing. I would never hurt my friends!"

"And yet you did and you know it. You just can't accept the truth." it responded in a calm tone.

Trider put Dynamism down and he stood up, walking towards the wolf. As he approached him, orbs of light began to pass by him. He looked at one of them and in it he saw how he was looking at his friends, before he stomped the head of the mare that was at his feet. He averted his gaze away from the orb and looked into another one. In this one he smashed Rose into a wall of a building and left here there as he faced Rainbow, Dynamism and Applejack.

He didn't dare to look into the other orbs, fearing he would see something he would regret. He clutched his head as he fell onto his knees. He shook his head as he tried to forget the images, but it was for naught. Raising his head he looked at the wolf and spoke in a shaky voice.

"Who are you?"

The beast grinned as its form began to shift. Once it was done Trider came face to face with himself yet again, only this one was covered in a dark aura.

"I am you." the dark Trider answered. "Or more precisely the feral you." He raised his hand as he smiled, showing off his sharp jagged teeth. "I am your rage incarnate. Your fear manifested. I am your true self."

The real Trider began to slowly back away. "No. You can't be me. I am not like this." he tried to deny. "I am not a monster."

"Maybe not on the surface, but on the inside this is who you are." cackled dark Trider.

"I would never hurt my friends."

"And yet you did. And all it took was a little shove." rebuted dark Trider, as he smiled sadistically. Suddenly a large pillar of smoke rose from the ground and slowly took form of a unicorn pony clad in armor. The real Trider watched in shock as he recognized the dark king. His fists balled up and he charged Sombra.

"YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS!!!" he screamed as he grabbed the kings arms and began to pull them apart. Soon his bones began to crack and Trider smiled victoriously.

"Why did you do this Trider?" asked Sombra, but the voice didn't belong to him. "Why did you hurt us?" Trider recognized the voice and soon the dark kings form began to change. His body beacme more feminine, his coat became bright orange, his mane turned blonde and his eyes looked at him with an emerald green gaze. Trider stared at the mare in his grasp, as he realised who it was. "I thought we were friends." she said sobbing, tears escaping from her eyes.

He tried to let go of her, but his arms wouldn't listen to his commands. He looked back at her. "We are!" he said with a strained voice.

"Then why did you kill us?" Hearing her say that made Trider finally let go of her, but when she hit the ground her body turned into a pile of bones. Terrified the Kanisar backed off, but he hit something as he did so. Turning around he came face to face with a tall cloaked figure.

"Wake up!" the figure said, before a bright flash of light enveloped his vision.


Trider gasped, opening his eyes and ending his nightmare. Cold sweat ran down his face and as he tried to wipe it, he noticed his hand was wrapped in bandages. Getting a closer look he saw that his entire body was covered in them. He had no clothes on, all save for a simple hospital gown. He then had a look around and he recognised the room immediatelly. It was the same room he woke up after he arrived in Ponyville for the first time.

"Deja vu." he murmured as he tried to lift his upper body. Pain shot through him, but he still managed to get up. Halfway he noticed a form shifting beside him. Casting his gaze in the forms direction, his eyes fell onto the sleeping face of Twilight. He stopped what he was doing and simply watched the slumbering mare.

She was sitting in a chair, while her upper body rested on what little free space his bed offered. A small blanket was making sure she wasn't cold while the moonlight illuminated her face. She looked like a princess from kids fairy tales and Trider thought so too. He continued to stare at her, soaking in her beauty. A grin crept onto his face, when he saw she was drooling.

"Oh man I wish I had a camera." he thought as he extended his bandaged arm to fix a strand of hair that fell out of place as the mare was shifting in her sleep. As his hand got closer a flash of memory appeared in his vision. In it he was strangling Twilight and she was looking at him with teary eyes.

Blinking and shaking his head, Trider grabbed his arm with his other hand and slowly pulled it back to himself. He stared at Twilight and then at his hand, laternating between the two. Gritting his teeth he slowly got out of bed, being careful he wouldn't wake her up. Fighting through the pain he slowly made his way to the door, but remembered they were probably patrolled by nurses, so he went towards the window. Looking through it he saw they were on ground floor and he sighed in relief.

"Lucky." he thought as he grabbed the handle. When he opened the window a slight breeze crept in and reminded him he was still only covered by the gown. He looked around the room trying to find something to put over himself. His gaze stopped on folded clothes that lay over another chair. Picking them up, he looked them over and immediatelly realised who brought them. The little R told him that it was the fashionista, that had brought these clothes for him.

Trider smiled at the thoughtfullness, but it immediatelly turned into a frown. The memories ran through his mind as he began to figure out what had happened after his confrontation with Sombra. He took off the gown and put on his pants, but left the sleeveless shirt on the chair. With slow steps he again approached the window and this time he jumped through it.

The cold night breeze blew past his face and he took a moment to revel in it. Once it passed he began to walk with no particular direction in mind as he just let his legs carry him away.


"DAMN IT!" The sound of explosion disturbed the quiet of the night. "DAMN IT! DAMN IT! DAMN IT!" Trider yelled with every strike as he punched a giant hole in the boulder. Eventually he stopped as he breathed heavily. The bandages on his hands were now soaked in blood, but Trider paid it no mind as he ignored the pain. "Fucking damn it." he muttered as he pressed his fore head against the cold stone.

"What has that rock done to you to earn such wrath?" a voice asked. Trider slowly turned his head to look at the one who was addressing him. There, basking in the moons rays, stood the Princess of the night as she gave the Kanisar a gentle smile.

"Evenin' Luna. What brings you here on this fine night?" he asked as he fully turned around so he could look the mare in the eyes. She cast her gaze at the large orb in the sky.

"It is, isn't it." she said. "Thank you for the lovely compliment." Trider looked at her confused, until he remembered that Luna was the one who ruled over the night.

"I just say what's on my mind most of the time. That usually ends up with me either locked up or beaten up. Seeing as I'm neither at the moment I'd say this is my lucky day." he joked which earned a giggle from Luna.

Her expression softened after she was done giggling as her gaze went to his blood stained hands. "You should not be so reckless." she said as she grabbed his hands. Her horn began to glow and Trider could feel his wounds healing. "You have just got out of the hospital, without telling nopony mind you, and you're already trying to put yourself back in." she scolded him.

Trider smiled sheepishly. "Yeah sorry 'bout that. I've just..." he paused. "Had to vent some frustration out." Luna looked at him with pity as she continued to apply the healing spell to the rest of his body as some of his other wounds got opened. "How long was I out?"

"About two weeks now." answered the mare. The Kanisars eyes widened at the information.

"Two weeks? Was I really that badly hurt?" he asked flabergasted.

"Almost every bone in your body has been either broken or shattered, you had internal bleeding, your lungs and some other organs were punctured, in fact while you were in the hospital your heart stopped four times and the doctors did everything in their power to revive you." Luna recounted all the injuries his body had sustained. "They even said that you might not ever wake from your coma and even if you did, you would never be able to preform any strenuous activities, even walking would be agony for you." She gave him a look over and smirked. "But seeing how you're still standing even after your stress relief I would say you have nothing to fear. You are very resiliant."

"Yeah, we Kanisars are very tough. We can deal a lot of punishment and receive even more." he chuckled as a memory came to his mind. "There was this one guy back on Inu actually, that had a gaping hole through his chest. Continued to fight for another five minutes before biting the dust and he took a few more with him."

Luna finished her treatment and she looked at him in astonishment. "Your kind truly are born warriors." she said in awe. Letting go of his arms she glared at him. "Now sit down and rest. I don't want you to reopen your wounds yet again."

"Sure." Saying that he sat down on the ground and the princess decided to join him. They sat in silence for a couple of minutes, before it got too awkward for Trider. "So when am I going to be locked up?" he asked, ending the silence.

"It was not your fault Trider. Sombra took advantage of you and used you to spread fear among the crystal ponies." the princess answered him.

"Even if that is so, it is no excuse for everything that I did, for everyone that I've..." he trailed off as memories made him wince. "A-are they alright?" he stuttered. "Are Twilight, Applejack and the others alright?"

"They are. Do not worry. They have already fully recovered and are waiting for you to do the same."

Triders eyes shifted from side to side as he contemplated. "Why would they do that?"

"Because they are your friends and they are worried about you."

With gritted teeth, the Kanisar glared at the mare. "How can they still call me a friend after everything I've put them through. If I was them I'd just-"

"But they are not you are they?" Luna interjected, cutting his sentence short. "Believe me when I say this, your friends do not blame you for what happened in the Crystal Empire and even if that was somehow your fault they would forgive you." She paused as she averted her eyes. "They forgave me after all."

Confused, Trider looked at her. "What do you mean?" he asked.

The mare contemplated if she should tell him or not, but eventually she sighed and looked at him. "Do you remember when I took you to my chambers to have a talk? And how I told you that if you don't talk to others about your past it would come back to haunt you?"

"If this your way of saying 'I told you so'-"

"It is not." Luna said angrily. "Anyway as I was saying, I also told you that I knew from first hand what kind of consequences it could bring. Do you remember?" Trider nodded in conformation, so the mare continued. "A thousand years ago me and my sister ruled over Equestria, like we are now, with her commanding the Sun, while I controled the Moon. Everything was perfect, our subejcts were happy, there were no wars and nothing threatened our land." Lunas face turned grim as she continued her tale.

"However while the ponies admired my sisters Sun and her day, they slept during our beautiful night and I came to believe that they shunned it and with it me. With time I began to fear that my subjects would forget about me, thinking I was not needed. Eventually that fear then turned to anger towards all of the ponies and instead of confronting my sister about it, I just kept quiet thinking it would all solve itself. How wrong I was." she said solemnly. "As more time passed my anger towards the ponies grew and with it arrived hatred. I didn't hate the ponies, mind you, I directed my hatred at somepony who did not deserve it. My own sister."

Tears began to well in her eyes. Seeing that Trider grabbed her shoulder and nodded, telling her to take her time. After a few seconds Luna composed herself. "I thought that she was deliberately trying to make me inferior, but I still didn't talk to her about and because I did not take action..." Her horn began to glow and an etheral image formed in front of the two. It was a picture of a mare that looked just like Luna, execpt her coat was pitch black, she had cat like eyes and her mane was more smoke like than the night princesses mane.

"Who is this?" Trider wondered, as he waved his hand through the image, making it flicker.

"She is me. To be exact, my hatred incarnate." Luna explained as she cut off her magic, getting fed up with the Kanisars attempt to touch the image. "One day I could not contain my anger and hatred any longer and as result Nightmare Moon came to be."

"Okay I know you don't like that 'you', but let me just say..." Trider said with a raised hand. "That is an awesome name."

The mare gave him a cold glare, but decided to just ignore his comment. "When Nightmare Moon took over me, I confronted our sister and we fought her." She took a deep breath before she continued. "As Nightmare we thought that the only way we could amke ponies love us and our night, was to cast Equestria into an eternal night."

Trider listened to her, hanging by the edge of his seat. "So what happened next?"

"Celestia won, thankfully. She used the Elements of Harmony to seal Nightmare into the Moon for a thousand years." Luna began to shiver and Trider pulled her closer, putting her head onto his chest. "Just like you Trider, I too remember everything after Nightmare took over. And that includes the time spent on the Moon. Alone." The Kanisar felt his chest getting damp and he realised that the princess was crying. Quiet sobs filled the night as the two embraced each other.

"All that time. All of those years. I spent every single one of them regretting what I did. I deserved all that suffering." She slowly pushed herself away from his chest as she wiped her eyes. "After a thousand years I returned to Equis, but Nightmare Moon was still in control and she still wanted to put all of Equestria into eternal darkness. But luckily Twilight and her friends stopped Nightmare with the Elements and they finally freed me from my torment."

"And?" Trider begged on.

"And I thought that my sister and other ponies could never forgive me for what I did as Nightmare Moon. But they did. They didn't hate me and my sister welcomed me back with open arms. She even gave me back my old position as a princess of the night." She paused, as a smile crept across her face. "So I am fairly certain that you too will be forgiven."

"Thanks Luna. That really helped a lot." Trider said sincerely. His expression turned grim again as a thought crossed his mind. "But what if something like this happens again?"

"Then you should count on your friends to help you when you need it. But they can not do anything if you are not more honest with them."

Trider realised what she meant and he thought it over. Eventually he sighed as he looked at the mare. "You're right. Maybe it's time I told them all about myself." Luna nodded, satisfied with his answer.

"I am glad you want to talk with them. I shall be off to get my sister, as well as your friends and tell them to meet in Ponyville Library." she said as she stood up. "Do you want me to teleport you there?" she asked the Kanisar.

"Nah, I wanna stay here for a bit and think how I would tell them." Trider said as he laid his head down and looked into the night sky.

Nodding, Luna took a few steps away and began to charge her horn. "Very well. I shall see you soon then."

"Wait!" Trider called out stopping the mare. "Before you go there is one more thing I want to talk to you about." The mare turned towards him and listened intently. Seeing he got her attention, he asked his question. "I'm glad you're so wiling to help. However I can't help but wonder, why? Why would you of all ponies want to console me? The first time we met you wanted to lock me away and after that I threatened you. Why change your mind like that?"

Luna smiled as she put away her wings. "True, I was rather suspicious of you when you arrived. You were an alien with unknown powers and intentions. I had every right to be skeptical you could live among us in peace." Trider gave her a mock glare. "And while my sister allowed you to interact with our subjects, while under surveilence of only the Elements, I on the other hand decided to take more... Active approach."

"Active how?" he asked with uncertainty.

"I had some of my personal guards spy on you." What was a playful glare, turned into a full blown scowl. "Do not give me that look. I had justified reasons to do what I did." she huffed, before she continued. "Where was I again? Ah, yes. My guards watched over you twenty-four-seven and they reported everything that you did. To my surprise you never showed any sort of malice or destructive tendency that you displayed on your arrival to Ponyville, on the contrary you tried to restrain yourself as to not hurt anypony. You made sure your promise to my sister was kept."

"It was then that I began to doubt my suspicions about you." she said as she crossed her arms. "So i decided I should personally learn more about you, so I began to enter your dreams and see for myself what your world was like. And what I saw was... Disturbing." She took a deep breath and continued. "Needless to say I slowly began to understand more about you and your culture, and what made the Kanisar you are today. However I still kept my guards around, just in case."

"But it was not until you saved Twilight, Rarity and Spike from the young dragons that I realised that you truly meant no harm to us and that you would gladly give your life, if it meant protecting those close to you." Smiling she approached Trider. "Due to your actions that day and those that followed I decided you could be trusted enough not to be constantly spied on." Her smile turned to scowl and she glared at him. "However your encounter with the Diamond Dogs almost made me decide otherwise."

Trider smiled sheepishly and averted his gaze. "Anyway. I continued to observe your dreams in hopes to learn more about you. I wanted to know exactly why you were so angry at those humans. The answer came on that day when I called you to my chambers. When I saw that dream." Triders face turned grim, he knew exactly which one she was refering to. "When I saw that I realised you were so much like myself. You were hurt when you were but a child and you carried your anger with you all your life until it transformed into pure hatred. It was then that I decided that I would help you, so you would not repeat my past mistake. But it seems I had failed."

Trider slowly raised his upper body and looked mare in the eyes. "You didn't fail. I was just to stubborn to accept your help." With a grunt he stood up and faced the mare. "You tried to help me, even though you had no reason to. And even now you're consoling me. And you have my thanks Luna. I mean Princess Luna." he corrected himself.

The mare giggled. "Why so formal all of a sudden?"

"Because you've earned my respect Princess and with that you also earned the right that I address you with your proper title."

"I see." she said in affirmation. "But I rather prefer you just call me Luna. It makes our relationship more friendly, right?" Her eyes widened as a stray thought crossed her mind. "We are friends right?"

Trider extended his fist and presented it to the mare. "After today, the bestest." Unsure what the gesture was Luna smiled coyly. Seeing her predicament the Kanisar chuckled. "It's called a fist-bump. It's sort of a handshake friends do with each other." He grabbed her right hand with his left as he guided her. "When someone wants to fist-bump with you, you just have to hit their fist with your own, like this." he said as he struck her hand against his own.

The mare looked at it with intrigue and smiled. "I shall remember this 'fist-bump'. Thank you for teaching it to me." Turning around she began to charge her horn again, as she prepared a teleportation spell. "Do you have any more questions you would like answered or can I take my leave."

"Go ahead." With his conformation she teleported herself back to the Canterlot, leaving behind her new alien friend. Sighing Trider fell down onto the ground and gazed at the sky. "Now then." he thought. "Where the fuck am I exactly?"