Group Precipitation

by FanOfMostEverything


CR Don't Ask, by Void Knight and FoME

(Void Knight)

“Sunset, you’re not going to like this.”

Sunset sighed. “Is this the monstrous-evil-running-lose kind of ‘you won’t like this’, the one-of-your-followers-has-done-something-atrociously-stupid kind, or the they’ve-found-a-new-and-embarrassing-way-to-deify-you kind.”

Twilight blushed. “Uh, the last one. So, you know Shiny and I are both huge O&O fans, right?”

“Yes?” replied Sunset, wondering where this was going.

Twilight continued, wringing her hands a bit. “Actually, we’re big enough fans that when Warlocks on the Mount were doing the beta testing for O&O Fifth Edition, we volunteered to help. And evidently we’re still in the databank as potential helpers, because I got an e-mail this morning asking if I would help contribute to the revised Deities and Demigods sourcebook.”

It suddenly dawned on Sunset what Twilight was trying to say. “Oh no. They want to…”

“Yes,” said Twilight, flinching a tad. “And it’s not just you. They want to do all seven of us. You as the major deity, of course, but the rest of us as lesser goddesses.”

Sunset’s hand rose to her face.

“And there was a big announcement from Gamecrafters about doing a reboot of Hyperspace Hyperwars.”

“Don’t tell me,” said Sunset, “they want to replace the God-Emperor of Mankind with a God-Empress.”

Twilight nodded. “They’re calling it Hyperspace Hyperwars: Age of Sunset.

Sunset’s other hand rose to join its fellow.

(FoME)

Twilight scowled at the advance copy of the O&O sourcebook. "I knew it. I knew it!"

"Whatever is the matter?" said Rarity.

"It's the exact same mistake they made back in three-point-five. We're pathetic!"

"Yes, and?"

Everyone looked at Fluttershy. Sunset broke the silence. "You do know that there are people who literally worship the ground you walk on, right?"

Fluttershy nodded. "And it's terribly embarrassing. I can see why you've tried so hard to get them to tone it down."

Applejack turned back to the book, which to her looked uncannily like something meant for a math class. "How do ya mean we're pathetic, Twi?"

"Any halfway decent party could mop the floor with any one of us, and a well-optimized party could take all of us at once before you could say 'roll for initiative'!"

Dash looked to Pinkie. "You ever notice how Twilight speaks like five languages that all sound like Wranglish but make no sense?"

Pinkie tilted her head. "But if they didn't sound like Wranglish, how could we understand all the sense they didn't make?"

As Dash tried to parse that, Twilight flipped to another page. "And look at this! They made me lawful evil for crying out loud!"

Sunset looked over her shoulder. "That says 'Midnight Sparkle.'"

"What in the name of every deity in this book is a Midnight Sparkle!?"

Sunset smirked. "You do realize that you technically just swore by me, right?"

Twilight's answer was an incoherent yell and slamming her face into the table.