PSSSD Cubed

by Brass Polish


1 Vetoed

Pinkie Pie had spent a whole day in a flour bag playing with a cup and ball in preparation for an upcoming Pie Sister Surprise Swap Day; it was not her own. Limestone wanted to spend her PSSSD with Marble this year in Ponyville, and she wanted Pinkie Pie to stay away from them during their visit. Mrs Cake found this difficult to take in when Pinkie explained this to her.
“Why should you have to make yourself scarce in your own hometown?” she inquired.
“Each Pie Sister Surprise Swap Day is only with two of us,” said Pinkie. “It’s tradition. Pie Sister Surprise Swap Day With Rarity doesn’t count because she’s not a Pie sister. That’s the only reason Limestone’s okay with it.”
“Why do you need Limestone’s approval?” asked Mrs Cake.
“She’s a huge stickler for tradition,” Pinkie Pie’s eyes went wide.
“I thought you told me she’d relaxed that time the Apples spent Hearth’s Warming Eve with your family.”
“To a point,” said Pinkie. “She vetoed knocking Holder’s Boulder into the pit and rolling it back up the hill every year. She said it’ll crack the more we do it and then eventually it’ll shatter like an egg.”

“That still doesn’t answer why she’s trying to shove you into a closet,” frowned Mrs Cake. “If she wants to visit Ponyville, she ought to spend a PSSSD here with you.”
That’d break tradition, too,” said Pinkie Pie. “Each pair of Pie sisters travels to a different city in Equestria for PSSSD. I can’t spend a PSSSD here in Ponyville. This is where I live.”
“That’s exactly my point, Pinkie Pie,” said Mrs Cake. “This is your home. You have friends here. You have a job here. Your sister can’t make you sweep yourself under a rug.”
“You don’t know Limestone like I do,” Pinkie grimaced. “She can get really tetchy. She does run the rock farm we grew up on now. Between Mom and Dad getting old, Maud away getting her rocktorate, and me living here, Marble’s the only real support she gets working in the quarry and the mine. It’s turned her into one great big tension knot. I don’t wanna ruin one of the few days off she gets.”
“Pinkie, you can’t ruin someone’s day just by being around,” insisted Mrs Cake. “She does love you, doesn’t she?”
Pinkie Pie paused, then said “Yeah. Yeah, you’re right. There’s no need to make any special arrangements. Forget I said anything, Mrs Cake.”
And she bounced away to go about her work.
“I often do,” Mrs Cake said quietly to herself.

Ponyville wasn’t exactly a tourist trap, although it had gained notoriety for being to home of the Friendship Council and the site of a brand new castle. Limestone knew she and Marble weren’t in for an extravagant PSSSD, but they were both excited on the train ride to Ponyville.
“You know, every time you and me go on a PSSSD,” Limestone said to Marble, “we always come back and find everything’s fine. I used to worry Ma and Pa wouldn’t be able to do all the work without us, but it always ends up looking like we never left.”
“M-hm,” nodded Marble. “If you ask me, they’re acting old and feeble just so they won’t have to work as much.”
“I don’t know about acting old,” said Limestone. “But it wouldn’t surprise me at all to find out they’ve been using their age as an excuse to sit back. Maybe I shouldn’t let them getting away with only doing the lighter work so much.”
“Don’t forget, Limestone. They still own the farm,” warned Marble. “Besides, maybe one day a year doing all the work is all they can stand.”
The guard entered the coach they were sitting in.
“Next stop, Ponyville!” he called.
“Great,” smiled Limestone as the guard carried on down the train. “So I thought we could start with a tour of Ponyville Castle.”
“M-hm,” nodded Marble.
“I don’t know how long it’s supposed to take,” Limestone wet on, “but it’ll probably be lunchtime by the time it’s over.”
“M-hm,” said Marble as the train slowed down at Ponyville Station’s platform.
“They’ve got a lotta burger joints there, so we could just have lunch at the first one we see,” Limestone suggested.
“M-hm.”
“Is that all you have to say?” asked Limestone. “You’re usually only this quiet when…”

“Hi, Limestone! Hi, Marble!”
The sight of Pinkie’s face pressed against the coach window made Limestone scowl and Marble jump.
“Welcome to my hometown!” squeaked Pinkie.
Limestone opened the window. “What are you doing here, Pinkie?”
“I live here,” smiled Pinkie innocently.
“You live at the station now?” Limestone raised an eyebrow. “What happened? Did Mr and Mrs Cake kick you outta Sugarcube Corner?”
“No, no. I mean I live in this town. And you can’t get rid of me,” said Pinkie, face and voice smarmy to the hilt. “So if you see me while you two are enjoying your PSSSD, it can’t be helped.”
The guard blew his whistle. Limestone quickly shut the coach window.
“Ow!” cried Pinkie.
Limestone had closed it on her mane.
“Come on, Marble!” urged Limestone, jumping from her seat with her luggage and lunging for the door.
“M-hm,” replied Marble, doing likewise.
After they got off, the train began to move. Marble watched nervously as Pinkie Pie struggled to remove her mane from the closed window. The train left the station with Pinkie dangling on the side of one of the coaches yelling and flailing.
“Come on. Let’s enjoy our PSSSD together,” said Limestone calmly, stepping off the platform.
Marble nodded and followed on, with one more nervous glance towards the train, from which Pinkie’s shouts were still audible.

Eventually, somepony on board noticed a puff of pink hair in the window and opened it. Pinkie dropped onto the lineside and tumbled into a ditch as the train carried on up the line.
“Nice try, Limestone,” she grunted, bouncing along the ballast back towards her hometown.
When she arrived back at the station, she caught the attention of Octavia, who was standing on the platform waiting for the train to Canterlot to arrive.
“Hello, Pinkie Pie,” she waved. “Has somepony let go of a balloon again?”
“Hi, Octy,” replied Pinkie. “No. My sister just tried to run me outta town.”
“I’m sorry?”
Pinkie Pie explained to Octavia about PSSSD and how it was supposed to work according to her oldest sister.
“Mrs Cake told me Limestone can’t just expect me to disappear from the town I live in,” she finished. “So I met her and Marble here and told her that it’s not my fault if I’m around during their visit.”
“Well, it is, really,” said Octavia, rolling her eyes.
“Huh?”
“I quite agree that you can’t be blamed if you’re going about your business and you’re around while they’re here,” said Octavia. “But deliberately bumping into them just to tell them they can’t get rid of you sounds awfully forced.”
Pinkie considered. “Huh. You think I went overboard? Ponies always tell me I do that.”
“If you have deliveries to make, or ingredients to collect, that’s not your fault,” said Octavia.
“Well, I do have both of those things to do today,” said Pinkie. “But I’ll try not to be so blunt about it if they see…”
A green balloon floating towards town caught her attention. Octavia sighed as Pinkie ran to catch up to it.

You are giving them a tour of the castle?” laughed Spike. “You can’t even find your own bedroom.”
“I can so,” protested Starlight. “Now if you don’t mind…”
Spike went about his business, chuckling, as Starlight carried on showing Marble and Limestone along the castle corridor.
“As I was saying, this castle came with a few tapestries when it was given to Princess Twilight by the Tree of Harmony,” said Starlight. “But they all have vague designs and patterns, and nopony knows if they mean anything at present. There’s one over here that sort of resembles a pair of dragons, and this one looks a bit like a windigo, this one here looks like it has a breezy on it, and that looks like a swarm of parasprites on that one over there, and this could be another dragon… like I said before, we don’t know if there’s any meaning to these…”
“I think I can guess what that one up there means,” Limestone interrupted, pointing up. “It means somepony can’t keep her nose clean.”
Starlight looked at the tapestry Limestone and Marble were staring at; it looked like it had a pink pony hugging a green ball on it.
“Pinkie?”
Pinkie Pie let go of the balloon and landed on all fours on the floor.
“Unless your cutie mark’s glowing, I’ll bet my very first Hearth’s Warming Doll that you have no good reason to be here,” frowned Limestone.
“Look, maybe I was a bit snarky back at the station there,” admitted Pinkie. “Why don’t you tell me what you’re planning to do today and I can make sure I don’t get in the way.”
Limestone pulled a sceptical look, but Marble tossed a paper airplane to Pinkie, which turned out the have their repertoire written on it.
“What the heck, Marble!” groaned Limestone as Pinkie unfolded the paper and scanned it. “You know Pinkie’s got the self-control of an orthros.”
Pinkie crushed the paper in her hoof, dropped it, jumped up, grabbed the balloon, and floated out of the nearest window.

“No self-control, huh?” she grumbled to herself as she stomped into town. “That’s just what Nurse Redheart thought when I whispered that birthday song to the Cake Twins in the maternity ward. We’ll see if she still thinks that when she doesn’t see me for the rest of hers and Marble’s PSSSD together.”
She managed to improve her mood when she returned to Sugarcube Corner to collect her delivery wagon. It was always a joyful experience dropping off chocolates and pastries to her Ponyville friends. She’d completely forgot about her tiff with Limestone until she’d finished her rounds. It was nearly lunchtime, and Pinkie tried to remember what was on the list Marble had shown her. She soon recalled that they planned to have lunch at the first burger joint they came across upon leaving Twilight’s castle.
Her stomach rumbled. “A burger does sound good.”
She absentmindedly sauntered to her favourite burger restaurant, but when she realised Ponyville Castle was visible from there, she backtracked.
“Limestone and Marble are bound to stop here when they leave the castle,” she muttered. “I’ll have to go someplace else.”

Before long, she was scoffing down sliders, gobbling onion rings, and sucking down soda in another fast food establishment. She was just sipping the last few drops of her drink when she spotted something in the window that made her spit out her straw.
“Why are they coming here?!” she cried. “They walked right by the first one from Twilight’s!”
She saw they were heading for the door, and hastily dove into the nearest trash bin.
“Huh. Looks like this place is full,” said Limestone when she and Marble entered.
“M-hm,” said Marble, looking around. “Oh. There’s a free table. All we gotta do is clean all that stuff off it.”
Pinkie was watching from beneath the bin’s lid. She began to sweat; she knew what was about to happen. Limestone reached the table first, and went to grab the soft drink cup, but stopped and picked up the straw sitting in it.
“Fernando?”
She turned and scanned the restaurant.
“Pinkie’s here,” she muttered.
Marble raised an eyebrow.
“I gave her that straw for our PSSSD in San Palomino four years ago,” Limestone grunted. “Pinkie! I know you’re in here!”
“Well, I’m sorry you missed the first burger place from Twilight’s castle!” spluttered Pinkie, leaping from the bin and talking from behind a cup of mustard. “Maybe if you weren’t such a stick in the mud and would let me hang around you two, I could’ve shown you around town! And another thing. Did you not see my wagon parked outside?”
Pinkie quickly realised she was being vindictive again, and promptly grabbed Fernando from Limestone’s rough hoof and left the building.