//------------------------------// // Annoys a Princess // Story: The Pokemon King of Griffinstone // by Cookie_Girl //------------------------------// The sun was high over Canterlot as the Friendship Express pulled into the train station. Ponies were going to and fro, busy with their daily lives, and pokemon, too, were strolling about. It was a bright and normal day, normal considering the arrival of an entire planet's worth of creatures from another universe a few short months before. A few ponies stepped out of a private train car and received a few stares from those who recognized them. The brown earth pony was overlooked, but he could hardly care as he rushed off after saying farewell to the others so he could get back to his research. Prince Blueblood tried his best to look good for the ponies, he straightened out his mane, adjusted the tie on his suit and wore a smile fitting for one of nobility, but aptly avoided any contact with the pokemon. The pink mare looked….calm and relaxed, which was unusual for her. And finally, the lavender alicorn, Princess Twilight Sparkle, had bags under her eyes and was shielding her face from the sun with a wing. “That was one heck of a party.” Pinkie nodded in approval. “I passed out as soon as we got on the train and slept the whole way here.” Twilight groaned and sheltered her face under her wing some more. “Pinkie, please don't start being loud. My brain feels like I stayed up for a week trying to understand your Pinkie Sense….” “It's your own fault.” Prince Blueblood snorted disdainfully “Drinking that much alcohol in view of the public, and don't blame it on the punch being spiked. Disgraceful behavior for a royal.” “Wha- You're one to talk!” Twilight regretted shouting as it made her head throb. “Who was it that had to be hunted down to catch the train because he was too busy fooling around with that Liepard with the Prench accent?” Blueblood faltered in his trotting and sputtered “Tha-Tha-That never happened! No such thing happened! And besides,” he turned toward Twilight and jabbed his hoof into her face accusingly “You haven't got any room to judge yourself. Or did you get so drunk that you forgot about shoving your tongue down Bio Chem’s throat like a harlot?” Twilight's eyes crossed as she looked at his hoof almost touching her nose. Her gaze traveled up his foreleg and then settled on his face, her eyes locked onto his like a hawk's on a mouse. Blueblood took a moment to consider that he had just insulted a fellow royal, Celestia's favorite pupil, and the mare who could transmutate him into any number of horrible things. He quickly withdrew his hoof from her face. “Ah, haha! My apologies, Princess! Uh, we should be getting to the NO WAIT DON'T TURN ME INTO A TOAD!” Blueblood covered his face in a pathetic defense against whatever spell Twilight was casting over him. Her magic passed harmlessly over him. “Come along, Pinkie. We should go find Celestia now.” and she seemed a little too pleased with herself “We’ll leave the Prince here, he's about to get quite popular.” Blueblood watched them go, thanking fate that the mare hadn't cursed him as he had feared. Deciding it was best to avoid her for the time, he turned to go the other way. “Perhaps a nice stroll will do me some g-” “You're Prince Blueblood!” a random mare exclaimed as she invaded his personal space. “Ah! Ah...yes, I am-” “He's so handsome!” another mare said. “Thank you, I really need to be going now-” “He's so dreamy!” a stallion yelled out. “Ah! Stay away from me!” this was really beginning to freak him out. “I really like his mane!” And with that began Prince Blueblood’s race around Canterlot, from a mob of obsessed admirers. Princess Celestia couldn’t help but laugh as she read Twilight’s report on her recent trip to Griffinstone. “I’m glad you are enjoying yourself sister, because this,” Luna gestured to the stack of paper that made up Bio Chem’s report. “Is torturous.” “He is very thorough,” Celestia admitted. “But on the bright side, we now know just who and what we’re dealing with.” “I’m still confused just what Griffinstone is at this point,” Luna admitted. “They’re a City-State,” Celestia explained. “Now they just have a formal ruler... albeit an odd one.” Luna grumbled to herself. “So, have you gotten to the part where Princess Twilight mad out with Bio Chem?” Celestia nodded, a smirk on her face. “It’s so nice to see her loosen up a bit, and it’s good for him to interact with other ponies.” “Should I send a message to Cadence?” Luna asked, wearing a smirk of her own. “I’m sure she’d be interested in her sister-in-law's first real relationship.” “Let’s wait for them to have their first actual date before we tell Cadence anything,” Celestia replied with a laugh. “We don’t want her getting overexcited and messing this up before it starts.” Lune chuckled and returned to the report. “... do you think we’re too excited about meddling in Twilight’s love life?” “Nonsense Luna, we’re not meddling, we’re simply... encouraging.” A little later in the day, Celestia was looking over some recent reports, specifically on how the Pokemon integration was going. “Las Pegasus is getting better, I’ll need to send someone to check on Trottingham-” There was a knock at the window. “Hi Princess!” Came the muffled call of a familiar delivery mare. “Hello Derpy,” she greeted, opening the window with her magic. “Please, come in.” Celestia was fairly friendly with the mare, though their original meeting had been... less than normal. “Thanks, I can’t stay long,” Derpy replied, rifling through her mail bag. “Just came to deliver a letter... well, more like an envelope.” She pulled out a large manila envelope. “Whatever’s in there, it’s pretty full.” “Indeed it is,” Celestia said, floating the envelope over to her and examining the address. There wasn’t one. “Hm, curious,” she cast a few examination spells on it and found it to be full of... some kind of clay. “Doesn’t seem harmful.” Using her magic, she split the top open with magic. Only for the clay to jump out at her. “GREETINGS FROM GRIFFINSTONE, PRINCESS CELESTIA!” the clay yelled as it partially took the form of what she recognized as a human, human from the waist up with just the contents of the envelope below that. “Allow me to introduce myself; King Joker of Griffinstone! Now I understand that it is customary to give a lady a kiss when first meeting her, so…” and with that, he grabbed her head gently and…..laid a long sensual kiss on her lips, and not one used for greeting a lady. It was at this point that the throne room doors opened and Luna walked in. “Sister, Aegislash has been harassing the petitioners again and-” she stopped when she saw the site before her. What looked like a half-human, half... slug, was making out with her sister... and Derpy was here for some reason. “Is this a bad time?” She asked. Celestia responded by flinging Joker against the wall, creating a very purple splatter pattern. “No! He just... I wasn’t...” she cleared her throat. “Luna, this is King Joker... from Griffinstone.” Luna mouthed ‘Ooooh’ as she realized what was going on. Joker reformed an instant later, a burst of small fireworks announced him, and stepped forward. “Celestia, that kiss has ruined all other mares for me. None could possibly compare!” then he noticed Luna “Unleeeessss?” and wiggled his eyebrows. “No,” Luna deadpanned, her horn lighting up, preparing to cast either a shield or a laser spell. “Fine. I do still have to talk to Empress Victoria at some point.” at this, he transformed into a handsome, though, gaudy male Griffon, with a canary yellow body and a green head. “B T Dubs, give Derpy a tip for the express delivery.” “Aww, you don’t have to do that,” Derpy insisted sheepishly. “Nonsense!” Luna protested, taking the Pegasus under her wing. “You delivered a king today. You deserve compensation.” “We’ll see to it,” Celestia said with a smile. “Besides, it’s your turn to host us for tea this month.” Derpy blushed, but giggled and nodded. “Alllllrighty, then! I'll get right to the point, Tia and Lulu.” Joker said to them. “Can I call you Tia and Lulu?” “No,” they both said together. They were getting an uncomfortably Discord-like vibe from this Joker. He simply shrugged. “Just remember not to call me “Mistah Jay”, it's copyrighted.” “Anyway, we have a little to discuss.” Joker cleared his throat. “First,” his neck stretched out till he was face to face with Celestia from halfway across the throne room, “Why does it seem that no aid was given to Griffinstone by Equestria for the more than a few hundred years that it was a dump?” The Princesses looked at each other and sighed. “Griffinstone is a city-state, which means it’s largely self governing,” Celestia explained. “When the idol was lost and the governing forces collapsed... there really was no one agency or ruling power to give aid through,” Luna continued. “And the Griffin’s belief in their own greed made them... greedy,” Celestia said with a sigh. “The few good will missions that have gone there have universally reported back as said that their supplies were depleted within the first week.” She shook her head. “Recently my sister suggested we just annex the territory, no one else has claim on it, but the Griffins of that city have refused to work with others.” “Fair enough.” Joker said, from his new position on top of Celestia's throne, where he was attempting to reach into her mane. “I actually don't know a single thing about politics but as the king I felt it was my job to ask. How do you make your hair keep moving like this, or, is it even hair? OMG is it a magic wig?” “It’s not important,” Celestia said, floating him so he was in front of her. “Sorry. I lose focus easily.” he apologized before moving on. “Second on the list, is why I was made king. I'm sure you are curious.” “Did you manage to retrieve the idol?” Celestia asked. “I thought about getting it myself at one point, but I wasn’t sure how the Griffins would react.” “I did do that.” he confirmed. “As well as have my pokemon companions build a permanent and safe bridge to let people walk across the Abysmal Abyss without fear of falling in, rebuild the library and eventually set it up as the new schoolhouse, start a magically enhanced pokemon grown orchard of apple trees that will be full grown and ready to give fruit next year, and...eradicate a smallish horde of zombified ponies, griffins, and other assorted creatures that was just in the bottom of the Abysmal Abyss for some reason.” “... huh,” Luna said. “Sounds interesting.” “So all that, plus bringing back the Idol….me king now.” he put a crown on his head after pulling it out from under his wing. Joker continued on his list, “And finally, I'd like to sign an official peace treaty with Equestria.” he shrugged “Just hope I'm not going to have to sign one of those super long forms of paperwork that stretch to the ceiling.” Celestia blinked, this Joker did not mess around. “Alright, well normally a Peace Treaty takes time to draw up, all the minuta have to be covered and what not.” “So….a day?” Joker asked innocently,honestly not having a clue. Celestia sighed. “Yes, if you are willing to wait, I can have something drawn up by tomorrow.” Looks like she wasn’t getting much sleep tonight. “Excellent! So who am I bunking with?” he asked happily. “Because I made no arrangements or plans for staying the night, but here I am.” he smiled, similarly to Pinkie Pie. “We’ll prepare a room,” Luna said. “Sleepover! Girl's night sleepover for royalty only!” Joker exclaimed as he took the form of a unicorn mare. “I'm anatomically correct, just so you know.” “... we’ll prepare your own room,” Luna repeated. “Aww, ok-” Joker returned to his Griffon form. “By the way, is it Griffin, Griffon, Gryphon, or Gryffon?” “You just said the same word four times in a row,” Celestia said, raising an eyebrow. “If you want to know the spelling you’d have to write it down.” “Yeah, but the readers can still see it,” he pointed out the obvious. “And so can the writers. Duh.” “I... what?” Luna responded, confused. “The... I’m going to go, Derpy, with me!” “Okay, Luna,” Derpy replied, following after the Princess of the Night. “Bye, Mister Joker!” “Bye, Muffin Mare!” Joker waved to her. He turned to Celestia and said simply, “I'm like Pinkie Pie.” as an explanation to the randomness. “Well to be fair I don’t know what her... thing is, either,” Celestia shrugged. “So...” “Side question,” his face screwed up a little, “When I change, I can literally shift between male and female, so; do I go by King or Queen?” “I suppose that’s up to you,” she replied. “Most people I know regret leaving me in charge of decisions.” he pointed out, “But I'll go with king, and say that anyone, gender regardless, who sits on the throne of Griffinstone takes the same title. Bonus being that it removes any gender stereotypes.” “Yes well,” she cleared her throat again. “I have some reports to go over, so if you’d like I could have some guards show you around?” “Yeah sure,” he agreed, “Maybe I'll find a friend of similar likes to me. Do you know anyone who enjoys playing completely unnecessary pranks in funny but impolite ways and possibly has several personality disorders?” “Can’t say I do,” Celestia lied. Discord was bad enough now that he had Pinkie and Hoopa to mess around with. “Eh, whatever. I'll just go play the tourist while I'm free.” Joker accepted the simple plan. He then took one of Celestia's forehooves in his Griffon claws and gave it a like peck on the golden horseshoe. “Good day, m’lady.” With that, he simply walked out of the throne room. And Celestia let out a deep sigh. “It’s like if Discord was ruler of something,” she shook her head before teleporting a quill and parchment to her. “Alright, now to start a new Peace Treaty...” “Oh, and by the way.” Joker sang out as he popped back in through the door. “I have the power of cute.” Celestia sighed again. “What does that even mean?” “It means this.” he promptly transformed himself into….a small, fluffy, white as fresh snow, kitten, with a big blue ribbon on its head, and the biggest and most adorable blue eyes that could fit on a tiny kitty. And then he gave an equally tiny and adorable “Meow.” Celestia had to admit, he did look cute now. “Alright, that is pretty cute.” “And nothing can resist cute for forever!” He yelled in the cute kitty voice. He then marched out of the room, still as the kitten, like and army general. “Kneel to cuteness!” The guards caught themselves and returned to their normal position before they could fully bow, looks of embarrassment crossed their faces. Celestia facehooved and groaned before turning back to the parchment. “This is going to be a trial.”