I'm The Villain?

by Roxxi

Still A Villain! - Six Hooves Under

A tall shadow coated alicorn trotted up to the front door of a certain animal loving pegasus’s cozy home. Nightmare Moon was a little under whelmed to say the least, after seeing the cloud home of Rainbow Dash.

“That was a fun little side trip on the way here; the look on that fool’s face was priceless!” Nightmare cackled. One of the many things she enjoyed was the look of despair and hopelessness on the face of somepony who had their dreams crushed, it was refreshing. She sighed nostalgically as she rapped her hoof against the door.

KnockKnockKnock

“H-hold on one minute please, I’m trying to get Angel to eat his salad… If you don’t mind waiting that is.” A soft voice replied. Nightmare rolled her eyes, even after the self-esteem boost she had given her while she had been a misguidedly good pony Fluttershy was still stuttering. Maybe she had a speech impediment, it would make sense.

A few minutes later, the door to Fluttershy’s cottage cracked open a few inches to reveal a pale blue eye, which looked at her cautiously before widening in surprise to see who was at her door. The door swung open and a yellow pegasus with a rosy pink mane partially obscuring her face beckoned Nightmare in with a soft smile.

“It’s so good to see you again Nightmare! Oh, that sounds so very mean, can we give you a nicer name, if you don’t mind having a nicer sounding name I mean. Not that there‘s anything wrong with the name you have right now, it very.. Um… Nice.” Fluttershy smiled sheepishly as Nightmare noticed she seemed to be overall more relaxed. Fluttershy trotted to the kitchen to get the pair something to drink. “Would you like some tea or cider? Or water? Or juice?”

Nightmare shook her head, a relatively unnecessary gesture as the mare it was directed to was no longer in the room. “No, I’m not thirsty. I’m here on a strictly business matter, no time for pleasantries of that sort.” Nightmare Moon looked around the cozy cottage, her eyes roaming over the room with mild disgust at all the animal cages and the small rabbit laying face down in a bowl of salad. “…That’s just weird…”

Fluttershy returned from her kitchen with two cups of juice. “It was very kind of you to visit me, even if it was short notice. Not that I mind of course, it’s always nice to have somepony over for company.” Nightmare Moon frowned slightly.

“I thought I said I didn’t want anything to drink, was I not clear?” She frowned again when the pegasus laughed quietly. She shouldn’t be laughing; she should be cowering with unparalleled fear or at the very least shivering with unease.

“Oh no, this is for Angel. He usually cooperates better at dinner if I give him juice.” Fluttery explained as she set one of the cups down beside the salad diving rabbit. Angel turned sideways, sniffed the cup of juice and was about to smack it across the room when a Stare from Fluttershy stopped him in his tracks. “You are going to drink that juice, eat your salad, and you will like it, do we have an understanding Angel?”

If there were words to describe the sheer amazement Nightmare Moon felt at that moment, she would not have been able to say them because she had been stunned speechless by the authoritative tone and commanding stature the usually calm and relaxed pegasus used on Angel. Speaking of which, Nightmare noticed the rabbit in question had begun eating his salad in earnest and gulping large mouthfuls of juice with gusto.

Turning back to the black alicorn, Fluttershy smiled, all traces of the Stare gone from her face and voice. “You said you had important business, I think? What did you need from me? If you don’t me asking that is.” She sat on the couch opposite of Nightmare’s spot where she still stood.

“Huh? Right, business. I have come to rewrite a right that I made in a lapse of judgment, so hold all comments until the end of my speech, okay?” Nightmare smiled genially, getting very close to Fluttershy, who was starting to look uncomfortable. “Now how would you say you feel about yourself at this point in your life?”

“Uh… I feel good about myself, I’m not as afraid as I used to be of failing in front of others. And I guess that-”

“SHUT UP!” Nightmare roared, causing Fluttershy to recoil in surprise and fear. “You shouldn’t feel good about yourself! You’re a joke of a pegasus! You can barely fly for crying out loud, you might as well be an earth pony for all it matters, but I don’t think you could even cut it as an earth pony!” She snorted with contempt as Fluttershy opened her mouth to defend herself.

“I don’t want to hear whatever inane comment you had, it would be just as pointless as you are. The only half decent thing you have to your name is the ‘Stare’ but you can’t even use that unless you friends are threatened or on something as mundane as a rabbit, who treats you like its slave, just in case you couldn‘t process that on your own you flight school reject! You‘re being bossed around by a freaking rabbit, grow a spine you cowardly sack of horse apples! You do not deserve such a commanding power, in fact you don’t deserve anything you have you poor excuse for a pony! The only reason you’re wanted around here is that you talk to animals! But anypony with half a brain could that! Hay, even that dingbat Derpy Hooves could do your job, freaky eye powers or not!” Nightmare glared and looked the shaking pegasus in the eyes, venomous hatred meeting pitiful fear.

“Humph! Can’t even defend yourself when somepony insults you. You worthless piece of trash, I should just end your pitiful, loathsome, despicable existence right now. I wouldn’t even want to do that, why waste my energy on a whimpering foal like you? You should do everypony a favor and get lost in the Everfree blindfolded.” Nightmare prodded Fluttershy hard in the chest with her hoof and stomped out of the cottage, knocking over cages as she went. “You sicken me; don’t let me ever see your sniveling face again.” And with those spiteful words, Nightmare Moon left the sobbing pegasus’s home after punting Angel out the window. “Silly rabbit, salad is for ponies.”

“I think I left her somewhere… Around here… Oh horse feathers, how can a pony with punctured lungs just disappear like that? It doesn’t make- Oh, there she is.” Nightmare blinked, and trotted over to the tree where she had thrown Ponyville’s premiere, and only, librarian. She leaned down and smiled at the lavender unicorn who had propped herself against the tree and was struggling to heal herself with magic. “Why hello my most precious crash test dummy, how are you faring? Have you learned any important lessons on the magic of flooded lungs?”

“B.. Buck you…” Twilight wheezed, spitting a glob of spit and blood at the midnight monster before her, the one who was responsible for her ruptured lungs. Nightmare Moon simply clicked her tongue and shook her head.

“You know, I was going to leave you in peace here, but since you decided to be oh so rude to me, I’m going to visit your darling little library and check out a book.” Nightmare grinned darkly, and in a conspiratorial tone whispered in Twilight’s ear. “And I’m going to return it in the wrong section!”

Twilight gasped in horrified shock, then coughed up blood, and continued gasping in her previous horrified manner. “You… You monster!”

Nightmare laughed giddily and began to walk back to Ponyville. “Maybe I’ll rearrange all of the books! Ha!”

As the figure of the hysterical alicorn grew further and further away, Twilight redoubled her efforts to repair her lungs. She had to save the library’s filing system. And Ponyville, that was important too, just not as important as the sanctity of the library’s filing system.

Nightmare Moon stared at the bakery bewildered, it was by far the strangest building she had ever seen. “She lives in a… Giant gingerbread house? That does not make any sense! Who in Equestria would live in a gingerbread house! Just because the word has ‘house’ in it doesn’t mean it’s a good idea to actually make a house out of gingerbread! That’s bizarre and ridiculous!” Nightmare shook her head in aggravation.

“Forget it, just get this over with and we can get on with things and get far away from this freak show of a building.” She silently eased open the door with her magic, trying very carefully not to alert anypony who might be a light sleeper or still awake at this late hour to her presence. Nightmare looked around the bakery, the light from her magical aura casting a soft glow on all the sweets and treats in the room. She gulped; this might take more effort than she thought.

Nightmare Moon groaned slightly in a mix of satisfaction and pain as she rubbed her rounded belly, a testament to the massive amount of pastries, cakes, cupcakes, candies, and other sugar-filled items she had devoured. “Perhaps… Urp… Perhaps this was not my most well developed plan… How can something so good be so bad?” Nightmare rolled to her hooves and stood up, shaking herself in an attempt to rid the sugar induced sleepy feeling from her body. The sound of hooves on the staircase brought her attention to a pink earth pony with balloons on her flank who was currently staring at her in wide-eyed disbelief.

“Oh my gosh! You must be new! I haven’t seen you before, have I? I don’t think I have, I would have remembered that, because I remember everypony in Ponyville, and I mean EVERYPONY!” The babbling earth pony continued rambling about knowing everypony because she was friends with everypony and blah, blah, blah. Nightmare didn’t care, it was meaningless chatter to her superior mind.

“…And Then I said ‘Oatmeal, are you crazy?!’ And That’s how Equestria was made! I’ll tell you about how I got my cutie mark some other time, okay?” Pinkie Pie beamed at her with a wide, face-splitting grin as if waiting for her opinion on the matter.

“Yes, yes, that’s all very nice but-”

“OH MY GOSH!!! I still need to throw you a party right away! We’ll have cake, and cider, and-” Pinkie had burst through Nightmare’s sentence like a bull dozer through the fourth wall of a house, but Nightmare Moon wasn’t going to let such a slight against her go unopposed.

“SILENCE! Cease your racket this instant you… you… Just stop talking!” Nightmare shouted stamping her hooves impatiently. Pinkie Pie closed her mouth and fell silent, tilting her head. “Thank you, now I can finish what I started here. As you can see, I have consumed all the sweets in this confectionary.”

“Were they good? Did you enjoy them? Were they totally amazingly scrumptious in every conceivable way imaginable or otherwise? Huh? Huh? HuhHuhHuhHuhHuh???” Pinkie was bouncing excitedly up and down on the stairs seeking approval of her baked goods. Nightmare frowned, this situation called for drastic measures in the form of a very careful explanation.

“Listen to me very closely pink one, I have eaten ALL of the baked goods you have produced, and do you understand what that means?” Nightmare asked her in a level tone, as if she were teaching math to a foal.

“Uh-huh! It means you’re really fat now cause you ate a bunch of sweets!” Pinkie grinned enthusiastically, thinking she had the correct answer. The black mare face hoofed with a groan of aggravation.

“NO, it means you have no pastries left. And I’m not fat; it’s just all this infernal junk food that hasn’t gone away yet.” Nightmare turned away slightly to hide her rounded belly.

Pinkie Pie giggled and bounded up to her side, giving her a nuzzle. “I didn’t mean it in a bad way, I think it’s cute on you, makes you look healthy!” Nightmare Moon nearly choked in shock and blushed.

“C-cute?” Her voice cracked a little. “I mean, Cute? Nopony has called me cute before… I don’t like it, do not say that again.”

“Awwwwwwww, but you are cute!”

“Stop it! I am not cute! I am not cute!”

“Does somepony need a kiss?”

“D-don’t be absurd! I do not need any form of intimate contact from you! Or anypony for that matter!”

“I think you just need to be shown some love, maybe you really do need a nice sloppy, wet, lovey-dovey kiss from Auntie Pinkie, am I right?”

“…I’m at least a thousand years older than you, you realize this, correct?”

“A thousand? You don’t look a day older than I do! You really are super duper cute after all!”

Nightmare was feeling very uncomfortable now; something had to be done unless she wanted to be kissed by a pony who apparently did not understand the concept of personal space. She took a few steps away from Pinkie Pie and cleared her throat, concentrating on keeping her wings down.

“Understand what I am saying, I have eaten all of your sugary treats, and as such, you have none left to give to other ponies who would have bought them, and that means you cannot throw parties. No cakes, no parties, am I clear?” Nightmare slowly explained to the energetic party pony. Pinkie Pie seemed to visibly deflate as the cold truth of her words sunk in.

“No… No parties..?” Pinkie’s bottom lip trembled and Nightmare could not help but giggle at the look of despair in her eyes.

“No. Parties. Forever” Nightmare put extra emphasis on the last word, grinning wickedly as Pinkie Pie twitched and sniffled, all while her mane fell straighter and straighter. Nightmare Moon breathed deeply as she trotted to the door, her magic swinging it open for her. “Ah yes, I love the smell of despair and crushed dreams!”

KnockKnockKnock!

“Ah’m a comin’! Hold yer apples, get outta the way Applebloom! Can’t ya hear somepony’s at the door?” Nightmare waited as a small silence passed. “Ah don’t care if yer trying to get a cutie mark for being a rug, Ah need to answer that dang door!” A rug? Did she hear that correctly? Nightmare was taken away from her thoughts of ponies being rugs by the disheveled face of an orange earth pony in a brown Stetson hat opening the door.

“Howdy! What can Ah do for ya?” Applejack asked, sounding more cheerful than she looked.
“Oh no real reason, just thought you might like to know you’re barn is on fire. And crushed by, oh I would say a three-hundred to four-hundred ton sea serpent with a moustache. I wasn’t sure if I should inform you of this oddity or not, but I decided that I should my part as a citizen of Equestria.” Nightmare smiled neighborly at the confused farm pony.

“The what’s on what and what by a what with a what?” Applejack asked, frowning at how ridiculous that sounded. “There’s no way the barn is… Is… BIG MACINTOSH! GET OUT HERE! OUR BARN’S ON FIRE AN’ BEIN’ CRUSHED BY A DANG SERPENT THINGY!” Slamming the door in Nightmare’s face, and the sounds of a filly yelping after being stepped on, frantic hooves on wood, ‘Eeeyup’s and the braking of glass jars could be heard. Nightmare looked back toward the barn where the silhouettes of a large stallion and smaller mare could be seen outlined against the flames that had consumed the nearby apple trees, illuminating the large fashion savvy sea serpent that was resting upon it.

Nightmare chuckled to herself as a frustrated voice rang out through the orchard.

“CONSARNIT! AH KNEW AH SHOULDA BOUGHT THAT BARN INSURANCE WHEN AH HAD THE CHANCE!”

Nightmare Moon knocked on the ornate door of the dress shop impatiently again as she had done several times already. “Oh now this is ridiculous, I bet she’s ignoring me! Nopony can simply sleep through all of my kn- Oh, well that makes a tad more sense.” The alicorn face hoofed as she spied a small note stuck to the frame of the door. “How did I miss this piece of parchment? It sparkles!”

Hello Valued Customer!
I am not currently at home, so be a dear and do come back at a later date, hm?
Sincerely, Rarity, Owner of Carousel Boutique

“Well, I would say that was more of request more than an order, so I’ll just invite myself in.” The door unlocked itself and opened wide with a burst of magic from Nightmare’s horn. “Fancy, very elegant, very chic.” Nightmare said as she looked around the boutique. “Sickening.”

“Now let me see… What would drive this particular pony up the metaphorical wall most? Aha! I have a perfectly nasty idea!” Nightmare exclaimed with a sinister grin as she set about putting her devious plot into motion.

“A little bit of this goes here… Hmmm, I’m thinking we put that over there, throw this on the ceiling… Maybe… OH! Yes, this must go here just like this! And- Oh my, what do we have here? Rarity, you naughty pony!” Nightmare levitated a pack of photos out of drawer she had been rummaging through.

“I had no idea a pony from Ponyville would ever take such risqué photos! I’m sure she wouldn’t want anypony to see these, so I shall respect her privacy and replace them to their original spot.” Nightmare solemnly swore, starting to put the photos back to where they had come from.

Nightmare snickered and pulled the photos back out. “Yeah right, this is too good to let go! I have to send these to somepony. But who? Who would be the best choice?” Nightmare rubbed her chin thoughtfully for a few minutes before the perfect target came to mind. A certain dragon at the local library had a massive crush of the proprietor of the dress shop, if memory served her well.

“Let’s call it an early Hearth’s Warming gift.” Carefully wrapping the photos in cloth and placing them in a box, Nightmare artistically copied Rarity’s signature from an open design book and placed a tag with the white unicorn’s name and the library’s address on it, left it outside by the mailbox for pickup, and returned to her misdeeds.

“Who knew fashion could be this fun?” Nightmare exclaimed giddily.

Rarity was trotting home, a large quantity of fabric and gems in tow, when she spotted a package by her mailbox. “How odd, I don’t remember sending anything to the library… But that is my graceful signature… Perhaps I’ve been working myself too hard to make the deadline for Fancy Pants again.” Rarity nodded, her explanation satisfactory to her own mind.

She magicked the door open and set her supplies down on a nearby table. “I’m so glad I decided to go to that midnight sale in Canterlot, I found the most exquisite- Hold on, something’s… Something is not quite right. Almost right, but just a smidgen off…” Rarity gasped in horror.

“My boutique! It’s… It’s NEARLY PERFECT!” Rarity frantically rushed around her shop, taking in the fashion crimes all over the room. “No! The diamonds go in that drawer! Those ribbons should be one shelf higher! This is terrible! My silks are no longer in order of thread count! They’re spectrum sorted! Why me? Why my precious boutique? Why the near perfection of it all?” Rarity screamed in terror and angst, falling back on a sofa in a dramatic pose.

“This is the worst! Possible! Thing!”

Nightmare snorted from her hiding place in the bush across the street from the Carousel Boutique.

“What a drama pony.”

Nightmare Moon silently landed on the cloud doorstep of Rainbow Dash’s cloud home and was about to knock on the door before she realized something important. “Almost forgot my disguise! This should do nicely, I believe.” Nightmare concentrated and a flash of dark purple light faded to reveal a well known fiery orange pegasus, the captain of an equally well-known flight team.

The faux pegasus knocked on the door, and almost jumped back off the cloud when a loud crash rang through the air.

“Go away! I’m trying to catch come Z’s!” A tired and angry voice yelled at her. Nightmare frowned, that wasn’t going to do at ll.

“Rainbow Dash! It is I- I mean… Yo Dashie! It’s me, er, Spitfire! Yeah, that’s my name Spitfire! Which is me, because I am a normal pony.” ‘Spitfire’ replied, nodding to herself at her quick thinking.

The flew open 10 seconds later and an excited cyan pegasus practically tackled her out off the cloud.

“Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh!!! I can’t believe it’s really you!” Rainbow Dash squealed and hugged ‘Spitfire’ tightly. “Whoa, does this mean I’m gonna be a Wonderbolt?” Her eyes bulged with eagerness. “Awesome! I’m gonna be a Wonderbolt! This is totally awesome! Like 20% cooler than anything the history of cool and awesome smashed together!”

“Actually-” ‘Spitfire’ tried to explain, but was cut off by another bout of excited rambling from the biggest Wonderbolt fan in history.

“I can’t wait to show you my newest tricks! They’re so awesome!” Dash squealed and hugged ‘Spitfire’ even tighter.

“Calm down you nut job, I’m here to tell you that you didn’t get in. You’re not going to be a Wonderbolt.” ‘Spitfire’ said as she pried the fan pony off her waist.

Rainbow Dash looked confused. “Wh-what do you mean I didn’t make it?”

‘Spitfire’ smirked; this was what she had been waiting for. “You didn’t make it, in fact, you’re so much of a failure at flying, and I’m going to permanently ban you from ever joining the Wonderbolts. You will never be a Wonderbolt. See ya!” And with that ‘Spitfire’ dived backwards off the cloud and soared off into the night.

“B-banned? F-failure? N-never be a Wonderbolt?” Rainbow Dash’s lip quivered and tears threatened to spring out. And they did, much like the rainbow falls on her cloud home, tears gushed from Rainbow Dash as she despaired at the thought of never being able to fly with the Wonderbolts.

“My life… just got 20% less cool…” She sniffled and dragged herself back inside to wallow in self-pity.

Nightmare Moon plucked a book from a shelf and flipped through, occasionally bending a page to dog-ear it or smear the ink on the pages. “This book is shockingly boring, just like the rest of this town.” She sighed, placing it on a shelf below its rightful place.

“This stupid library is so boring; I can barely lay waste to it! That’s how boring this is!” Nightmare growled and kicked a shelf, causing some of the books to fall down, creating quite a bit of noise.

“Twilight? Is that you?” A small purple and green dragon yawned from the staircase. He rubbed at his eyes and stared at the alicorn who was standing stock-still. “You know I can see you right? Standing still only works on dinosaurs, not dragons. We’re wayyyyyyyy smarter than that.”

Nightmare blinked and nodded, a sly smile playing across her face. “Oh yes! Dragons are by far the most intelligent of creatures, and I can tell just with a glance that you are a very wise dragon! And handsome, very handsome indeed.” Spike preened and grinned at her.

“Yeah, I am pretty good looking and smart, aren’t I? So what can I do for a beautiful mare like yourself?” Spike winked at her coyly and Nightmare Moon had to resist the urge to vomit in her mouth.

“I… Er… Twilight Sparkle asked me to inform you that she wants all of the books arranged by color, something about deciding to judge books by their covers or something. She said you were the only one she trusted with such an important task and that it be done immediately.”

Spike scratched his head hesitantly. “By color? Well… If Twilight says it’s okay…” He still seemed a bit unsure about the idea of color-coded arrangement.

There wasn’t time to waste waiting for this dimwitted dragon to make up his mind, this called for drastic measures.

“I believe a certain somepony told me she’d send you a special thank you gift if you did this for Twilight; she thought you’d be a sweet dragon for doing it. What was her name? I’m sure you know who that somepony is, right?” Nightmare actually had no idea if the little dragon had his eyes on anypony or not, so this was a wild guess really.

“Was it Rarity? Did Rarity say that? Oh boy, a gift from *sigh* Rarity” Spike had a starry look in his eyes. Nightmare raises an eyebrow, wasn’t that the prissy pony who owned a dress shop here?

“Yes, I believe it was Rarity who promised a special surprise for you if you could manage this little task.”

Spike jumped on the stairs and immediately began grabbing books off the shelves by the armload. “You tell Rarity I’ll have these books color-coded in no time!”

Nightmare chuckled, this was too easy, could she do more? Oh yes, there was always more to be done. “And upside down, the books need to be upside down as well, or else it just won’t be right.”

“Yes ma’am!” Spike saluted her quickly and went back to rearranging the books in the library.

Nightmare left the library shaking her head in amusement. “Schmuck.”

After fixing a pair of groucho glasses onto her muzzle, Nightmare Moon rapped her hoof against the door of the Apple Family home. An orange earth pony opened the door and looked her strangely.

“Uh… Can Ah help ya sir? I mean ma’am. The hair on yer lip threw me off, that some kind of disorder or something’?” Applejack asked, tilting her head as if that would make the moustache on her face go away.

“I’m from… Stalliongrad? Pushing that aside, I am… um… Moon Marenight, insurance Salespony from Stalliongrad. Is your barn insured again simultaneously being on fire and crushed by moustache wearing sea-serpent?”

“Yer kidding, right? That don’t make no sense no how! Why would Ah insure the barn for something’ as loony as that?” Applejack was about to close the door when it was forced open again by Moon.

“Now hold on young filly, if your barn is indeed besieged by flames and serpents, you will be reimbursed a whopping one-million bits! The only catch is that the serpent must be of the ‘Sea’ variety, have a moustache, and weigh anywhere between three-hundred and four-hundred tons.” Moon Marenight levitated a contract in front of Applejack who frowned.

“Ah bet this is one of Dash and Pinkie’s pranks ain’t it? Well you tell those two to go buck themselves! I ain’t havin’ none of that foolin’ around this late at night.” Applejack slammed the door rather violently in Moon’s face.

Sighing and tossing away her disguise, Nightmare Moon shrugged her shoulders. “Nopony can say I didn’t try and help her, even if it’s my fault that her barn’s going to be crushed and set a blaze.”

Eeeyup, definitely enjoying a more comedic spin on this story, it’s easier to write for me. And I do love hilariousness at the expense of others. Actually, not a whole lot of noting from this author tonight, aside from a title explanation. In case it confused anypony, ‘Six Hooves Under’ was in no way an indication of someone dying; it was just a little bit of a joke. You know, ‘Six Feet Under’ but since ponies have hooves, it was ‘Six HOOVES Under’ and the fact that I was focused more on the Mane Six in this chapter, what better way to make a joke of it that that?

Thank you to all of my loyal fans who are enjoying the exploits of Nightmare Moon, it really means a lot to me that you all are so dedicated to me and this story. In addition, my other stories, because I know you love me enough to read them, right? Right? Please?

Moreover, a very special thanks to one pony in particular, my friend Hans. Some of you may remember me calling him stupid for saying I was too violent in the first chapter. Turns out, he was right; it was more fun to add comedy, not gore, to this story. I have apologized, do not worry.

Anyways, I want to thank Hans for suggesting slightly messing up Rarity’s things, as Rarity was giving me the most trouble to mess with in this chapter.

The photos bit was my idea though, so nopony needs to tell Hans good job for anything other that messing up the boutique.