Princess Changeling Rainbow Magic Pants
Chapter 9: Queen Chrysalis
-ooo-
“Thanks, Twilight Sparkle,” Chrysalis moaned irritably. “You made me throw up love all over my throne room…”
“I didn’t mean—”
“There you go!” Chrysalis continued, motioning to the viscous, dark red substance that now coated the floor of her obsidian throne room. “Now you know what partially digested love looks like! Are you happy? Was this your plan? Teleport in here with… whatever that is so I’d be queasy before some sort of epic magic showdown?”
“Sorry, geez!” Twilight exclaimed. “Look, we came here offering friendship… apparently…”
“Why in the darkest depths of Tartarus did you bring this thing, then?!” Chrysalis demanded as she motioned out to Magic Pants as gooey, red love magnificently dripped off her in red globs of hearts.
“She brought us!” Twilight cried. “Also, she claims to be your daughter.”
“I…” Chrysalis paused and glanced at Magic Pants briefly before she quickly turned away, her cheeks puffing slightly. “… It’s a good thing I already expelled my love over this.”
Applejack cringed. “Ah’m not sure there’s a worse possible way to phrase that.”
“Mother, friends,” Magic Pants interrupted, but in a way that was not an interruption at all but instead a welcome insertion into the conversation. “Fret not, for I will happily secrete some my own love juices to replenish those lost.”
Applejack’s face turned slightly green. “Ah was wrong…”
“NO ONE IS SECRETING ANYTHING!” Twilight shouted.
Chrysalis sighed. “Normally I’d object to the lack of secretion, but this time I agree with you, Twilight Sparkle.”
Suddenly, a set of massive ebony doors that towered above the group were thrown open and a changeling, somewhat larger and bulkier than most, stormed into the room. “My Queen! Are you in danger?! I am here to—”
‘ZORT!’
With a sparkling neon rainbow blast from her horn, the changeling was quickly enveloped in a shining multicolored glow of magnificent friendship energy that exploded, turning the changeling into a chunky green and black mass that splattered all over the throne room doors and into the room.
“What the everlovin’ buck?!” Applejack cried.
“… So this is what ‘offering friendship’ looks like,” Chrysalis mused as she glared up at the ceiling and raised the end of a foreleg to her head. “I don’t think I’ll ever get the love stains mixed with exploded drone out of the throne room.”
“Oh my Celestia!” Twilight cried as she turned towards Magic Pants and soaked up more of her radiant beauty of pure radiance. “Please tell me that was some sort of teleportation beam of extreme joy that leaves about a large changeling drones worth of ectoplasm, or something!”
“Well, it does indeed teleport whomever is struck,” Magic Pants said in an even, gentle tone.
“Okay,” Twilight said. “To where, exactly?”
“To Tartarus!” Magic Pants said, her gentle, soothing demeanor suddenly giving away to a crazed and murderous sneer.
“WHAT?!” Twilight cried.
“Just to let you know, Twilight,” Chrysalis said, “these diplomatic proceedings are not going well.”
“Why?!” Twilight exclaimed.
Chrysalis glared at Twilight. “Because that thing just murdered a drone!”
Twilight grit her teeth. “I wasn’t talking to you! I was—”
“And not just any drone!” Chrysalis interrupted. She sighed. “That particular drone was my favorite for mating…” she added in a melancholy tone. “He was named Testis…”
“AGH!” Twilight moaned in frustration. “I wanted to know why Magic Pants, uh… Teleported—”
“Murdered!” Chrysalis hissed.
“—beamed, um… that drone.”
Applejack sighed. “As if knowin’ is gonna help anything…”
Magic Pants spoke in a voice of authority that also encouraged everyone to look upon her and take in even more of her glorious splendiferous splendor. “Because that was not a changeling drone, but STEVE from 4th period American History disguised as a changeling.”
“… What the heck is an ‘America’?” Twilight asked, her features tightening in confusion.
“… What the heck is a ‘Steve’?” Chrysalis asked, her features mirroring Twilight’s.
“… What the heck happened to me so that this is my life?” Applejack asked, her features relaxing slightly as she simply stared off into space.
Magic Pants looked over the group with a sort of victorious, feral smile (that was somehow still awe-inspiring). “Steve was a bully who deserved everything that he got! He once called me ugly!” she whimpered with a look and tone that made her as huggable as a pyramid of week old kittens.
“Ah’d say something,” Applejack began, “but Ah’m debating how much Ah want to be exploded.”
“Oh, good,” Chrysalis spat with an eye roll. “Apparently friendship means just killing whoever is rude to you. With this criteria in mind, perhaps I should be the Queen of Friendship.”
“Look!” Twilight exclaimed. “At this point, I’d just really like some answers! I’ve been all over Equestria and I still don’t know if Magic Pants is actually the offspring of some… some… sort of epic and weird super-powered creature orgy!”
“I’m leaning more towards being exploded with every second,” Applejack declared.
Chrysalis gave Twilight a long, hard look. “Twilight Sparkle… Are you coming onto me?”
“I… what?!” Twilight exclaimed.
“It’s fine, Twilight, my friend!” Magic Pants said delightfully as she draped a rainbow foreleg that was as soft as silk, yet with all the strength of a raging fire and as mysterious as the dark side of the moon. “Let the love flow through you.”
“I-I-” Twilight stammered as her lilac face turned slightly lighter shade of purple, “I was not prepared for today.”
“Yep!” Applejack replied. “Lot of that goin’ around!”
Chrysalis batted her eyelashes at Twilight. “That wasn’t a nooooo~!” she purred.
“A lot!” Applejack stressed.
Magic Pants opened her mouth into a beaming smile like a chandelier hit with a dozen floodlights all set within a nuclear explosion. “Yes, let the love-making of togetherness begin.”
Twilight and Applejack’s eyes went wide and they opened their mouths as if to speak but no sound came out.
“…Nope, changed my mind,” Chrysalis said. “I’m way more disgusted than starving at the moment.”
Twilight and Applejack let out sighs of relief.
Magic Pants shot Chrysalis a pout on par with that of a dozen puppies that were being stuffed into a burlap sack. “But… but… mother, the love-making of togetherness!” she implored imploring.
Chrysalis cringed. “Don’t call me that! I am not your mother!”
Twilight smiled slightly. “Finally! Some answers!”
“No,” Magic Pants declared resolutely, but not so resolutely one would call her bossy as she held out a slender, and also attractive foreleg before she transformed herself into a beautiful changeling princess of sparkling magenta, dark-red, and hot-pink mane and tail. She had two sets of rounded, pinkish gossamer wings that looked like two hearts adorning her back and the usual holes that dotted a changelings legs and horn all in the shapes of hearts. “I am your daughter!”
“No!” Chrysalis shook her head. “No! That’s not true!” Chrysalis grit her teeth. “That’s impossible!”
“Search your feelings. You know it to be true!” Magic Pants said in tone like a million angels suddenly crying out in astonishment.
Chrysalis began to weep openly. “NOOOOOOOOOOO! Noooooo…” she collapsed to the ground.
Twilight sighed heavily. “Okay… Now, I don’t know what to believe.”
Applejack just shook her head. “Wow! Another trip that turned out to be completely pointless. Ah’m just as shocked as if Ah suddenly were an orange pony with a bit of an apple obsession.”
Twilight furrowed her brow at Applejack. “But you are an… Oh… Oh, wait… I see what you did there.”
Magic Pants suddenly returned to her normal, but no less attractive (and also single! Rawr!) self. Her sexy and alluring dragon leg began to twitch. “My dragon sense! My father Dragon Lord Torch needs me!”
Twilight looked at Magic Pants with a perplexed expression. “You didn’t mention you were also somehow the daughter of a Dragon Lord.”
Magic Pants nodded gracefully. “That’s because he was not yet a character when this story was first wrote.”
“What does—?”
Applejack suddenly leapt at Twilight and clamped her mouth shut. “For Celestia’s sake, Twilight! Just stop asking questions!”
Magic Pants suddenly stared upwards. “We must away, my friends!” she said heroically.
With a grumpy expression on her face, Twilight wrapped a foreleg around one of Magic Pants’ legs. “Uh… Applejack?”
Applejack had made no effort to reach out for Magic Pants. She looked over Magic Pants then down at Chrysalis who was still sobbing on the hard, stone floor that was covered with viscous red ‘love juice’ and globs of green with a few hard black chunks here and there. “Ah’ll take my chances,” Applejack said.
Twilight’s face pulled into irritated disbelief. “With the murderous Changeling Queen who feeds on love… You’ll take your chances… with her.”
Applejack nodded. “Honestly, I like my odds here better.”
Suddenly and majestically, Magic Pants raised a foreleg and out came a stream of gooey sparkling white webbing that landed all over Applejack’s face.
Applejack looked like she might join Chrysalis in hysterics for a moment before her face took on a much sterner look. “See this? This here?” she said as she pointed to her face. “This is exactly what Ah’m talkin’ about.”
“AWAY!” In yet another awesomely colorful sparkly display of rainbow and neon as a choir of heavenly beings sang out their lungs, the trio disappeared.