Both Deadpool and Luna sat down at the Gazebo, lost into each other's eyes. And if you're wondering, no, it's not love poison, they're just that into each other. The gazebo was decorated with red & pink hearts, and had a boombox that played the best love song ever. On their table was what you'd expect: a white cloth over it with a lit candle in the middle, two plates in front of them with spaghetti with proper silverware, and a pack of... sex balloons.
"Deadpool." Luna spoke, almost dream like.
"Yep?" Deadpool replied
"...How did you get this table ready?"
"... I had some help.
Earlier
Deadpool had Chef Gordon Ramsay tied up in a chain in his basement. The famous (and infamous) chef breathed heavily as Deadpool walked down the stairs, whistling a tune to himself.
"You!?" Ramsay yelled "Do you know who the fuck I am!?"
"Of course." Deadpool spoke "You're chef Gordon Ramsay, one of the most famous chefs with the most profanity spoke on television, and donkey enthusiast."
"And you know what's going to happen when they find me, you psychotic fuck!? I'm going to tear your head off and shit down your neck!"
"You're funny." Deadpool walked to a closet and pulled out a butcher's vest, quickly putting it on
"If you let me out now, I will personally make your final meal before they put you down, you retarded son of a bitch!"
"Very tempting." He walked to a drawer and put on a pair of goggles. Gordon began to jump in his seat.
"You damned lunatic!!! Don't you know what you're doing!? Let me go, now!"
"In a moment. I just have some questions." Out of the shadows, he pulled a Chainsaw out. Gordon, unbeknownst to Deadpool, pulled a knife from his boot and sliced himself free. The chef tackled Deadpool and began to stab him in the heart.
"Fuck-You-You-Piece-Of-Shit!!!"
"Ow-ow-ow." Deadpool punched Ramsey in the face, knocking him back into his chair. The mercenary pulled out some handcuffs he acquired at a sex shop and tied the chef's hands and feet down. Gordon shook his head and tried to free himself, with very little success. Deadpool stood up with the chainsaw in hands and circled around the chef. "Alright, Ramsey... let me tell you how this is gonna work; I'm just gonna ask you one question. You are gonna answer that question in a way I find satisfactory and if you do not... I will god damn cut your head off with ol' ripper here." Ramsay began to breath harder, looking at Deadpool with scared s***less look. "Alright, here it comes; will you make a romantic dinner for Luna and I?"
"... I-I don't know... who that is... or what she prefers." Deadpool glared at the chef before pulling the chainsaw up and pulling on the rope. The machine stuttered for a bit, and Deadpool retried again. The chef snapped and laughed as he began to move violently. "FUCK YOU AND YOUR DATE!!!" The chainsaw began to run as it should.
"Well, it was nice knowing you." He began to slowly lower the chainsaw to Ramsey's throat. The chef began to scream like a little girl.
"NO! NO! STOP! STOP! Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay!!! OKAY!!! I'll make your dinner!!!" Deadpool stopped, raising the chainsaw up. "... B-But... what does she want?"
"SPAGHETTI, DAMMIT!!!"
"ALRIGHT!!! Alright... pl-please... I-I'll need special ingrediants."
"Done."
"T-the best kitchenware."
"Done."
"And s-some alone time."
"..." Deadpool raised the chainsaw again.
"ALRIGHT!!!"
Present.
"Whatever you did, it's lovely." Luna continued.
"I bet it is." Deadpool replied, turning to the setting sun. "Ah... ze night is upon us."
"Oui." He turned back to her. "It is French."
"I know. The language of Love and hatred for Americans." She giggled at it.
"I don't know what it means, but I can imagine it."
"Of course. ... Luna?"
"Yes?"
"...Whenever I see you... I feel something in me."
"A boner?"
"No! ... okay, yes, but not really. Whenever I see you... I feel... I feel like my heart is shot by an arrow that came a fat baby with wings."
"... That's... oddly spe-" A heart came out of Deadpool's chest, with his heart on the tip. "WHAT THE F**K!?!?!?"
"Oh S**T!!!" They turned around to see what was a fat baby with wings and holding various bows & arrows. "CUPID!!!"
"Happy Valentines day, suckas!!!" It spoke before flying away. Cadence landed near them.
"Did any of you happen to see a-" She paused as she saw Deadpool with the arrowed hearth through his chest. "Oh... nevermind. If I don't catch that baby, I'm going to be out of a job!"
"Or you could just use Shining Armor as bait." Deadpool suggested. Cadence stared at him with a blank expression. "...What? It's just an idea." He took the arrow and heart out. "Heh... Kali-Ma! Kali-Ma!!!"
Omnomchi-bi! Omnomchi-bi! Omnonchi-bi!
F**king babies.