Chapter Seven “Sounding Like a Bad Comic Book Plot”
Meanwhile, Peter landed onto a platform amidst the distorted realm, staring somberly at the portal he’d just returned from. Twilight’s image morphed into existence next to Peter’s position in astral form. The alicorn nodded, sharing a glance with the stallion. “That’s four fragments of the tablet. Only six are left. Great job, honey.”
“Thanks,” Peter whispered, folding his hooves across his chest. Inhaling deeply before sighing, he lowered his gaze. “I’m sure you saw what happened. Are you mad?”
Twilight huffed at his words, closing her eyes. “I was at first, but I can't really get upset that you kissed me. If anything, you got away with a technicality.” Sobering, the alicorn chuckled under her breath upon noticing her husband's unreadable expression. “I’m only kidding. I watched the whole thing and thought it was very sweet of you. You just wanted to give that reality’s Peter a push in the right direction: in my direction, and you went out of your way to do it.”
Peter frowned. “Well. That was my plan at first, but I got a bit too into it.” Twilight's eyes widened at his words, and the stallion edged closer to the alicorn’s image, smiling. “That Twilight is exactly like you were when we first met: clumsy, awkward, yet so charming in her dorkiness. Plus, I'm constantly reminded that no matter the form, whether it’s a human or pony, you're the most beautiful girl that I know.” His eyes softened as their gazes met. “This experience made me fall in love with you all over again.”
The temperature in Twilight's face reached a zenith, evident by the pink glowing tint in her cheeks, while her heart skipped a beat, feeling as light as the clouds overhead. The alicorn let out a defeated sigh before smiling warmly at the stallion. “That’s so not fair. You always make it impossible for anypony to stay mad at you.”
“That’s one of the reasons why you married me,” Peter grinned, arching a coy brow at the mare.
Twilight huffed, smirking. “Yes, but it’s also because you have a cute butt.”
Blushing, Peter chuckled under his breath. “Why, Mrs. Twilight, I feel as though you’re trying to seduce me.” The pair shared a laugh, only closing the gap between them. In spite of their distance between realities, the couple couldn’t be separated as their hooves intertwined out of instinct, even though physical contact was impossible to attain. Eventually, they parted before the stallion pointed a hoof at the side of his head. “That makes me remember. You should wear your glasses more often. They make you look younger and really add to your cuteness.”
Frowning, Twilight glanced to the side. “I’ve told you before that I’m not a fan of those things. Plus, they make me look too much like Moondancer.”
Peter arched a brow. “That was back when you two were the same height, and she doesn’t have an ethereal mane. You can’t use the ‘look-a-like’ excuse anymore.” Holding his hooves together, the stallion nodded. “Come on, dear. How often do I actually ask for anything?”
“Rarely, but it’s always the most unusual requests,” Twilight whined, letting out a defeated sigh. “Okay. Fine. I’ll use the glasses every now and then.”
The stallion smiled widely. “That’s why you’re the ultimate waifu.” Sobering, the couple shared a glance with Peter’s gaze softening. “So, no hard feelings?”
Twilight shook her head. “Not at all, but you owe me dinner and a movie with my pick of both.”
Before anypony could respond, the scepter hummed to life in Twilight’s hoof. “Cheater, cheater~! Pumpkin eater~!”
Twilight’s brow twitched involuntarily. “Shut up!” The alicorn blankly stared at the stallion. “Go find the rest of the fragments. Take too long, and I’m smashing this golden nuisance against a wall!”
“I will not be silenced!” the scepter exclaimed in an exaggerated tone, all while still bearing Peter’s voice. “I demand democracy! I demand justice! I demand… cheesecake!”
Slow to respond, Twilight glanced to the side before her stomach growled, as if in agreement. Blushing, the alicorn stood and ventured from the area. “That’s the only good thing this mouthy scepter has said today. I suppose I’ll grab a slice.”
Peter grinned. “I told you it’s like me. It comes up with good ideas every now and then.”
Oblivious, Gwen giggled uncontrollably and smiled while her mother’s astral image faded from sight. “Haha! Mommy’s face is turning red again!” The filly turned her hazel gaze towards her father before smiling innocently. “Oh! Hi, Daddy!”
Peter knelt down next to the filly’s image, grinning. “Hi, sweetie. Are you keeping an eye on Mommy for me?”
Gwen nodded feverishly. “Yeah! I’m making sure she stays happy!” Pausing, the filly giggled. “I miss you, Daddy! Come back soon! You promised to have a tea party with me!”
Peter simply nodded, smiling warmly. “You got it, sweetie. Make sure Smartypants II is there this time. You know Daddy loves his tea and crumpets. We’ll do a sleepover afterward, too. Just you and me. Sound good?” The filly nodded eagerly, rushing away. Once her image faded from sight, Peter scratched the back of his head. “That kid is a walking case of diabetes. Mayday was a touch prickly growing up-- well, at least with everyone except me--, Ben’s very reserved, only really going out of his way to speak with Twilight. But Gwen is just so sweet. She loves everyone. Not that I mind. I just won’t live that long if she keeps pushing her sweetness onto me. I’ll die of a sugarhigh.”
“That level of innocence and kindness is endearing, yet fragile. Make certain to tend to your daughter at all times,” Julia gently interjected, walking next to the stallion.
The stallion firmly nodded. “I’m her dad. That’s my job.” Stretching his limbs, Peter climbed onto the platform above his position before reaching the portal spiraling in place there. “Okay. Hero time. Let’s see what this reality’s like.”
The stallion leapt into the portal, fading into the surrounding energies. Before long, he landed onto the streets of a city. However, with the night skies, no life was present. Peter stood upright and held a hoof inches away from his face, quickly realizing he had retained his original equine form. Strangely, his white and black costume had materialized over his being, with the exception of his mask. The stallion shifted his gaze up, staring intently at the surrounding skyscrapers.
Peter furrowed his brow. “Okay. This place seems familiar. Where have I seen this before? The empty city. The large skyscrapers. The only thing missing is the--” Suddenly, Peter’s sixth sense blared uncontrollably, prompting the stallion to search around frantically. A shockwave erupted, and the glass windows behind his position exploded, knocking him to the ground. A being sped past the stallion, laughing wildly. Peter groaned under his breath, dragging himself back to an upright stance. “Oh, yeah. A bad guy. That’s what we’re missing.”
The image slowed to a halt, revealing that of a mare with light blue-violet fur. The tendrils of her long mane and tail slithered adamantly, like a row of snakes as if each was alive. Garbed in a bright violet costume with golden bands around her hooves and neck, she stared wildly at a glowing orb. Her bright emerald and crimson irises widened before she showed a smile with teeth, laughing maniacally.
Blinking, Peter’s sixth sense chimed at the orb in the mare’s grasp. “Oh, crumbs. She has the fragment,” he grumbled under his breath, clearing his throat before raising a hoof objectively. “Hey, um, Medusa? What’s going on?”
“Medusa?” the mare questioned, scoffing. She stuck her chest out dramatically. “Fool! I am Mane-iac, the greatest villainess in all the world and the Power Ponies’ most evil nemesis!” The mare glanced to the side, shaking a hoof. “I was just a driven owner of a mane-care product company. However, I fell victim to an accident when I tumbled into a vat of green liquid and was shocked by a downed power line!”
Shifting his gaze about in a confused manner, Peter arched a brow before pointing a hoof at his chest. “Are… you really giving me your origin story? This seems forced and contrived. I didn’t ask for any of that.”
Not paying the befuddled stallion any mind, Mane-iac raised a hoof dramatically. “As unfortunate as the accident was, it gave me new powers, but drove me a tad over the edge!” She leaned her head to the side until an ear touched the ground momentarily. She straightened her posture, prompting the tendrils on her mane and tail to lash about wildly. Before long, the mare erupted into crazed laughter. “Now, my mane is alive, and my plan is to rule Maretropolis, all while making everypony’s manes grow out of control like my own!”
“So… you just want to cause havoc and destruction just because? That’s amazingly one-dimensional. I feel like I’m looking at a walking parody,” Peter muttered, blinking as the mare fidgeted in place and giggled uncontrollably. “She’s like a combination of the Green Goblin and the Joker… if they thought ‘subtlety’ was spelled in all caps and highlighted with fireworks.”
Trailing off, she stared at the stallion with mild bewilderment. “I don’t believe I recognize you. Are you an acquaintance of those accursed Power Ponies? If so, you’re too late! I’ve already defeated them and locked them away! They’ll never see the light of day again!”
Peter’s eyes widened at the comment as a realization struck his mind. “Power Ponies? Mane-iac? You mean that comic book series that Gwen and Spike like so much?” He glanced to the side with a widened gaze. “That means I’m in a comic book universe!” The stallion tapped a hoof against his chin. “Why does it feel like an oxymoron when I think about it?” Shaking his head, Peter pointed a hoof at the mare. “Yeah! I’m a friend of the Power Ponies. The name’s… uh… actually a work in progress. I’m leaning between Spider-Spector and the Webbed Wonder.” Waving a hoof dismissively, Peter cleared his throat. “Nah, both of those are bad. Never mind. Anyway, I’m a hero, and I’m here to stop you.”
Mane-iac blinked, snorting involuntarily before laughing wildly. “What nerve! You, a no-name, intends to stop Mane-iac?!” She snickered, holding a hoof over her mouth. Like the water through a breaking dam, Mane-iac’s light laughter morphed into unrelenting guffaws as her eyes rolled in place. “Ha! And they say I’m crazy! You just missed the mane event, where I toppled those Power Ponies.”
Blinking, Peter cringed at the mare’s emphasis. “First of all, rude! Second of all, really? And I thought my puns were bad. You can always do worse. How about a-mane-zing, or you’re my mane girl?” Shrugging, the stallion pointed at the tendrils on the mare’s body as they hissed. “Having a bad mane day?”
“Neigh, but you will,” Mane-iac scoffed. Suddenly, the mare vanished from sight in a burst of light, reappearing behind the stallion. Before he could react, one of her tendrils of mane whipped around his waist and hoisted his frame from the ground. Mane-iac stared intently at the ensnared stallion, holding him upside down. “What do you have to say now, hero?”
Peter forced the lump in his throat down with a swallow, eyeing the tentacle-like strands of mane around him. “When I said ‘come at me bro’, I didn’t mean this. My body is so not ready for this.” One of the snake-like tendrils edged closer to the stallion’s face, causing a bead of sweat to fall down the side of his face. “I feel like I wandered onto the wrong side of the internet.”
“Nothing is safe! Nothing!” Mane-iac exclaimed, cackling at the top of her lungs. “The spider has fallen into my web now!”
However, before the worst could transpire, a being soared from the top of the nearest rooftop. Once they were within range of the pair, they sliced through the strand holding Peter in place. The stallion fell to the back of his shoulders while Mane-iac staggered back, holding her mane strand. Just as the strand of mane regenerated, she stared intently at the long chocolate-maned intruder with a furrowed brow. While diminutive in stature, she stood upright, wearing a yellow and black costume, and the mare soon unsheathed a pair of razor sharp claws from both of her hooves.
Holding a fanged smirk, the mare growled. “Let’s go, bub!”
Peter arched a brow at the mare. “Laura! It’s you! How’d you find me?”
“I was in the neighborhood,” Laura huffed, holding her gaze on Mane-iac. “I saw that one grab the fragment, and I’ve been tailing her for a few hours. I recognized your scent as soon you made it here.”
Mane-iac laughed in a haughty tone. “I’ve already dealt with seven cumbersome heroes. I suppose two more won’t be an issue.” Cackling, the mare tilted her head. “So, what do you call yourself, little one?”
“I’m the Wolverine!” Laura snarled, stretching her neck until a crack was heard. She thrust out her forelegs, unsheathing a claw in each forward hoof before lowering into a feral stance. “I’ve got six reasons for you to walk away. Trust me. This is gonna hurt a lot.”
Faster than even Peter could react, Wolverine dashed ahead for Mane-iac, and the stallion reached out to his compatriot in a futile gesture. “Laura! Wait!”
Wolverine threw a wide slash at the mare once she was within range. However, the orb glowed in response, causing a metallic layer to shield one of the strands of mane. Mane-iac deflected Wolverine’s attack, knocking the mare off-balance, and her metallic mane lashed out, striking Laura across the jaw. The force of the blow sent Wolverine flying, and Peter jumped in her path with his hooves ready to catch her.
However, her momentum was too great, sending the pair into a violent roll until they crashed into a light pole and buckled the steel. Mane-iac materialized beside the two prone ponies in a flash. That same moment, the previously cut strand from her mane slithered across the ground. Once it reached Peter and Laura, the snake-like strand wrapped around their waists, binding them to the pole before tying itself into a knot.
Shaking the cobwebs from his head, Peter blinked before lifting his gaze. He shuddered as the mane tightened, hissing. “With a mane like this, you have to give consent before you do anything.”
Mane-iac grinned, turning her gaze to the horizon. “I’d love to have more fun with you two, but you seem a bit tied up at the moment! I have a city to address as mine to rule!” Dropping a device next to their hooves with a set of numbers on its screen, Mane-iac grinned uncontrollably. “This bomb is rigged to blow in three minutes! Now, watch as everything you know is reduced to fire and brimstone!”
“Three minutes?!” Peter exclaimed, wiggling in place while Laura stirred back to consciousness. “That’s hardly enough time to come up with an explosive-related quip!”
Pressing the button at its top, Mane-iac watched with glee as the numbers started counting down. “That must really burn you up!” The mare’s cackling echoing through the city’s skies before she climbed onto the side of the nearest wall, using the long strands of her mane and tail to scale the building. “So long, heroes! It’s been a blast!”
Peter blankly stared at the mare as she climbed out of sight. “Oh, she’s good.”
Laura gritted her teeth, snarling ferociously. “I swear that I’ll take each of her limbs the next time!”
Exhaling, Peter shook his head. “Not. Okay.” The clock continued to count down as the stallion glared at the mare from the corner of his eye. “We can’t keep doing this, Laura! You’re always rushing in without a plan! I mean, look at us! We let a mare with bad puns, and an equally bad manecut, get the better of us! If the others saw us right now, we’d be laughed right out of the Avengers.”
Laura rolled her eyes, exhaling. “Yeah. No kidding. I’d probably have to slit someone’s throat to get them to stop laughing.”
Slow to respond, Peter blinked. “Graphic visual aside… I want you to hear me out, Laura. We’re part of a team, and that means listening to each other in the thick of things! For crying out loud, you were with the X-Men. Wasn’t teamwork part of their mantra?”
“Don’t talk down to me like I’m one of your children!” Laura spat, straining as she attempted to wiggle one of her limbs free. “Besides, I was a part-timer. They didn’t want me there anyway.”
Pausing, Peter’s brow lowered into an exasperated glare. “Seriously? If you didn’t antagonize everyone around you, I’d bet you would fit in easily. You’re calm, cool, collected, pretty, and my friend. You’re my C.C.C.P.F of the Avengers… with Umbra and Ember.”
The mare let out a defeated sigh once the tendril’s grip tightened slightly. “Don’t patronize me. I’m not Mayday, and you’re not Logan. Besides, don’t act like you know it all. This is all your fault!”
“Are we really doing the blame game? It’s hard enough to talk to you without hearing my wife’s voice. I don’t need you practicing her mannerisms, too,” Peter grumbled, pausing before blankly staring to the side. “I just realized that you two haven’t been in the same room together yet. Are you sure you’re not a clone of Twilight instead of Logan?”
Laura exhaled. “You’re an idiot, and very lucky my claws can’t reach you.”
Shrugging, the stallion glanced at Laura from the corner of her eye. “Says you. If you didn’t rush in and try to take down Starlight on your own, we wouldn’t have had to come save you!” A low silence filled the vicinity, with the ticking time bomb being the only source of sound for a few seconds. Peter managed to slide his hooves underneath the mane strand, stretching the elastic yet tight material. “Look, I’m giving you as much freedom as possible. It’s what Logan would’ve done, but if we’re going to make this team work, we have to start listening to each other. If we don’t, we’re just putting everyone else in danger.”
Laura raised her hooves once her limbs were free, slicing the strand of mane to ribbons. She pulled herself back to an upright stance, inhaling deeply before letting out a low sigh. “I’m not a member of your team. I’m a part-timer, remember?” Soon, her emerald gaze softened. “You have a point, though. Logan always said that about you. For as much stupid crap that comes out of your mouth, you say something smart when it matters most.” Folding her hooves, the mare frowned. “Fine. I’ll do things your way for a while, but if I don’t like where you’re going, count me out.”
“That’s fair,” Peter whispered, nodding before turning his gaze to the bomb. With over a minute remaining, the stallion popped its lid open and eyed the wires inside. He held a hoof over each, alternating until his sixth sense didn’t chime over a blue wire. Blinking, the stallion held a knowing expression before unplugging the wire from the device. The bomb’s timer stopped with thirty seconds remaining, and Peter tossed the device behind his shoulder nonchalantly. “It’s always the blue one.”
Laura eyed the bomb, slashing the device before it could reach the ground. Sheathing her claws afterward, the mare arched a brow at the stallion. “Why three minutes? That seems like a lot of time for us to escape.”
Peter waved a hoof dismissively. “Bad guys are idiots. They always do stuff like this. Lucky us. Plus, we’re in a comic book universe. Comic books are full of cliches at times. Overconfident villains? The heroes escaping in the nick of time? The renegade and the nice guy coming to an agreement before kicking the bad guy’s butt?” The stallion scratched the back of his head, glancing to the side. “Sheesh. This is starting to sound like a bad comic book plot.”
Wolverine pressed her hooves together until a set of cracks were heard. “Then let’s get that fragment back, so we can get out of this world of stupid cliches.”
Meanwhile, along the edge of the city, Mane-iac confided herself to an abandoned warehouse. The mare squeezed at the orb in her grasp, cackling wildly. Suddenly, Peter and Laura burst into the scene from the glass ceiling, landing dramatically mere hoof-lengths behind the mare.
Inhaling sharply, Mane-iac acknowledged their presence with a furrowed brow before clutching at the fragment. “You managed to escape?! Impossible!”
Peter blankly stared at the mare. “You left us tied up with three minutes to spare. James Bond villain logic dictates that your mistake was giving us a chance to begin with.”
Laura unsheathed her claws, lowering into a defensive stance. “Which is why we’re going to give you some slack. Drop the fragment before you do something you’re going to regret.”
Mane-iac furiously shook her head. “Never! I’ve already bested those blasted Power Ponies. I refuse to let myself lose to a pair of noponies!”
Wild energies began to emit from the fragment before they enveloped the mare. Slowly yet surely, the snake-like strands of her mane hissed violently as each acted out. One slammed into the ground, shattering the wooden beam while another’s outer layer morphed into a steel substance. One of the tendrils roared, unleashing a trail of flames, and another spat out acid, melting away a steel beam.
Mane-iac laughed uproariously, her voice echoing throughout the building. “Once I’ve dealt with you, all of Maretropolis will bend to my will! I’ll be the one true ruler! Mayor! No! President! No, even better! Supreme ruler of the galaxy!”
Slow to respond, Peter shrugged dismissively. “Meh.”
Taken aback as if insulted, Mane-iac blinked. “What do you mean ‘meh’?”
The stallion waved a hoof objectively. “Nothing. I’ve just heard this before.”
"No, you haven’t!” Mane-iac barked, stopping in place.
Laura huffed. “Everyone has. My advice? Get a new act. Over-the-top villains are so seventies. Everyone just makes fun of them these days.”
Mane-iac stomped her hoof, retrieving a bottle of mane-spray from her pocket. “Silence! I will not put up with such lip!” She aimed the bottle at the pair, alternating its nozzle between the stallion and mare. “The chemicals of my mane-spray act as an repelling agent! Whatever powers you possess will be gone with a single spray! Muhahahaha!”
While the mare laughed maniacally for seconds on end, Laura reached out and casually slashed the bottle in half . All of the contents of the bottle poured over Mane-iac’s body. Suddenly, the tendrils on her body wiggled uncontrollably, hissing before whipping around her frame. Tightening, the tendrils acted like a straitjacket and left the mare with her limbs bound. She wiggled in place, attempting to break free, but her laughter never ceased, evident by her insistent giggling.
“Curses! Foiled again!” Mane-iac exclaimed, dropping the fragment next to the stallion.
Laura rolled her eyes in an exasperated manner, sheathing her claws before folding her hooves. “You talk too much.”
Peter reached down, retrieving the fragment. “Evil gloating. Gets them every time. I swear, it must be in a villain’s genetic structure to monologue.”
Mane-iac’s laughter grew in volume. “Just you wait! I’ll have my revenge! Muhahaha!”
Laura groaned. “Okay. That’s starting to get annoying.”
Ignoring the wiggling mare, Peter offered Laura the fragment. “Easy. We’re halfway through. Five down, five to go. Hang onto this piece. It’s your ticket out of here. Once I find the others, we’ll bring you back.” Once Laura accepted the item, she simply nodded. Peter managed a smile, running out of the warehouse while waving to the mare. “All right. I’m heading to the next world. Hold the fort.”
Laura huffed and smirked as she held her gaze on Mane-iac before unsheathing her claws from a hoof. “I think I can keep myself occupied until you’re ready.”
“And don’t kill her!” Peter exclaimed, his voice firmly heard even at his distance from the building.
Grumbling under her breath, Laura sheathed her claws and exhaled. “Fine. I won’t kill her.”
Mane-iac, still bound and tied, pulled herself to a sitting position before shifting her wide gaze to the mare. “Fool! Vengeance will be--!”
Laura thrust her hoof and punched Mane-iac’s jaw with a crack, rendering the mare unconscious. Exhaling, Wolverine rubbed the aches from her hoof. “But that doesn’t mean I have to listen to her.” Pausing, Laura sniffed the air and caught wind of a peculiar scent. The mare chuckled under her breath, sharing a glance with Mane-iac as she stirred back to life. Waving a hoof dismissively, Wolverine exited the premises and never looked back. “Have fun, Mane-iac.”
Once she stirred, shaking the cobwebs from her head and the soreness from her jaw, Mane-iac blinked upon seeing that she was alone. The mare laughed uproariously, wiggling in place. “That’s right, fools! Run! That fight was just the warm-up! When I get free, the mane event will truly begin!” She bounced in place, managing to open the doors to the warehouse before slithering outside while still tied by her own mane and tail tendrils. “Nopony will dare to face the wrath of Mane-iac!”
“Ahem!” a voice coughed forcefully, causing the mare to pause momentarily. Seven shadows cast over Mane-iac from above, prompting the mare to shift her gaze to the nearest rooftop. A team of costumed mares and one young colt stood heroically tall, each glaring at the helpless mare. The mare at the center, wearing large goggles nodded. “The Power Ponies dare!”
Mane-iac’s complexion paled before her ears lowered shamefully, a defeated expression surfacing on her face. “Oh, poo.”
Meanwhile, Peter jumped into the portal, floating aimlessly through the spiraling energies. The stallion’s eyes widened as his trajectory was rocketed forward, but he spun in place, managing to land gracefully on the ground. He peeked up as the portal vanished, and Peter immediately caught sight of the surrounding environment. It resembled a marble utopia of sorts. However, his sixth sense blared before he could study the environment, prompting the stallion to shift his gaze to the side.
Suddenly, a being crashed through a wall, shattering the stone. A stallion unicorn with a snow white fur coat and bright chocolate brown mane rushed towards the debris, using his magic to levitate chunks of the many rocks away. Slowly but surely, a unicorn mare with a matching coat as the stallion rose from underneath the stone, shaking her head. Her emerald irises narrowed to the side, widening once she caught sight of Peter. The stallion inhaled sharply upon recognizing her curly violet/pink mane and bright emerald gaze.
“Sweetie Belle! Is that you? Am I back in the future? What’s going on?” Peter questioned, slowly approaching the mare as his mind raced at the speed of a hurricane.
Just as Sweetie Belle readied herself to respond, the stallion by her side paused. He stared at Peter with a widened gaze and his mouth agape. “...Dad?”The entire world slowed to a halt as the young stallion’s words cut into him like a knife through the gut. Peter’s mind faded to a blur while a look of bewilderment and horror filled his features.
To be continued...
