//------------------------------//
// Chapter 22: One Last Try 
// Story: A Search for Something More 
// by HAKDurbin 
//------------------------------//

That night, I stayed at home, depressed over Octavia, dumping me. My parents were furious that I was part of a fight even though it was made clear that I didn't start it, but I was too sad to care. I stayed in my room lying on my bed, missing all the time I was spending with Octavia from our movie nights, to our meetings with the E.M.R. to all the times we would kiss and hug each other and say, "I love you."
I'm sure I sound pathetic moping like this, but I can't help it. I thought I was heartbroken before when I found out that Sunset Shimmer was using me, but this is so much worse. Three days ago, we were happy and in love with each other, and then because of one video posted by Applejack's sister and her friends, she suddenly decided that she had enough with our relationship. The moment she broke up with me keeps replaying in my head, and I keep thinking of things I could have said that might have changed her mind. Or maybe if I had just not lied to her to try to find a gift for her and bumped into Sunset Shimmer at the mall, none of this would have happened. But then again, I would have regretted not trying to get her something to show her how much I love her. I wish I could go back in time and warn myself that this would happen, or maybe stop Apple Bloom and her friends from creating Anon-a-Miss so that way no one in CHS would have been a victim of that profile, let alone me.
But I can't, and what's done is done. Octavia and I are broken up, and there was nothing I could have done to stop it.
On Friday, everyone in school is quiet. Word spread quickly that Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo were behind Anon-a-Miss and have detention for the next six months. Most of the students in class are letting the day go by glumly, probably feeling guilty for whatever part they played in the whole scenario. Regardless, the silence suits me just fine as I want the day to pass by quietly and then stay home the entire weekend.
When lunch starts, I meet Caramel and Soarin at our usual spot. They have their own band-aids and bruises from yesterday's fight.
"You doing okay, Rough Draft?" Soarin asks as we eat.
I stop eating and sadly reply, "No. Not really.  I barely feel better knowing that the whole Anon-a-Miss thing is over. By the way, thanks for trying to defend me yesterday."
"Hey, don't worry about it," Soarin says. "You're our friend, and there was no way we were going to let anyone beat you up over a post even if we were gonna fail to protect you."
"I know, and I appreciate that you guys tried," I say with a small smile. "Still, it was scary to see all of us act like that. The usage we had to fight looked like we were demented. Like we were possessed again."
"Were we? I hardly noticed. I was probably paying too much attention kicking butt," Soarin says boastfully.
"Yeah, and I was scared despite throwing as many punches as I could," Caramel says sadly. "I feel a little pathetic trying to fight all of those guys."
"Ah, don't be too hard on yourself, Caramel. We were outnumbered," I say before a grin forms on my face. "Besides, I think Applejack was impressed that you tried to defend me."
Caramel's eyes widen as he turns his head to me and nervously asks, "W-what do you mean by that?"
My grin grows.
"You're welcome. That's all I'm going to say," I say teasingly before I notice someone walking behind Soarin and say, "That goes for you too, bro."
"What does that mean?" Soarin asks.
But before I can respond, Rainbow Dash walks behind Soarin and wraps her arms around him from behind. Soarin yelps, startled before he turns to see her looking at him with a smug look.
"I heard you were defending this guy from a bunch of people that were beating him up," She says flirtatiously.
"Y-yes, I was," Soarin asks, surprised as a small blush appears on his cheeks.
Rainbow Dash's smug look grows before she suddenly kisses Soarin on the cheek. Soarin's eyes widen when she pulls away and says, "Nice to know I got a guy as loyal as I am."
Soarin chuckles bashfully, making me and Caramel snicker until Rainbow Dash's smug turns into a guilty face.
"By the way, sorry that I've been pushing you away," she says. "I know you and the rest of the team were trying to cheer me up, and I haven't been appreciative of that when I should have been."
Soarin doesn't say anything right away, still a little stunned from the kiss. Eventually, he snaps out of it and says, "It's cool, Rainbow. You had it rough with Anon-a-Miss and thinking Sunset Shimmer betrayed you and everything. Thanks for apologizing, though."
"Totally," She says, smiling. "Now, I gotta go back to the rest of the group. Just wanted to let you know all of that, my man."
She walks away without another word, leaving Caramel and me looking at Soarin. He puts his hand on the cheek she kissed, and he smiles before he turns to me and says, "Thanks, bro."
"Hey, don't completely thank me," I say with a pleased smile. "I just told Rainbow Dash about the fight and how she was cold to you. I didn't say anything about you wanting a kiss. That was all on her."
He turns his head to where Rainbow Dash is, surprised, and his smile grows.
"Well, in any case, I got my Christmas wish," He says before turning to Caramel. "Maybe Applejack plans to do that to you too."
Caramel blushes at the idea.
"Don't even say that," He rebukes. "Remember, I'm not as lucky as you guys are when it comes to dating."
"Maybe not," I say. "But maybe she'll at least say something nice for standing up for me."
Caramel smiles at me for a brief moment before she frowns and asks, "What about you, though, Rough Draft? What are you going to do about Octavia?"
My glum face returns.
"I'm going to do nothing," I answer. "Octavia decided to end us, not me. There's nothing else I can say or do to change her mind. Honestly, I think you might be right in saying I should give her some time. Maybe she'll think about it and realize her mistake. Probably not, but I think all I can do is wait."
Caramel and Soarin frown at this.
"Personally, I don't think that's a good idea, but that might be your only option," Soarin says. "Just know that we're here for you, Rough Draft."
"I know. Thanks, guys," I say appreciatively before we go back to our food.



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Soon school ends, and I walk straight home and go to my room. It starts to snow again, so I decide to play a video game on my laptop in an attempt to keep my mind from Octavia. But even as I play, she still is on my mind, and it makes it hard to focus on the game. I keep playing for about twenty minutes or so until I give up and quit, accepting that she isn't going to leave my head. I stay in bed doing nothing until I hear my mom calling out to me, saying I have a visitor. I reluctantly stand up and go down the stairs to surprisingly find an adorable, blue girl at the entrance hall.
"Sonata?"
"Hiya, Rough Draft," She says, trying to be cheerful despite obviously knowing what happened.
"What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be in Sweet Apple Acres with the Rainbooms?" I ask.
"I couldn't stay there," she says sadly. "I heard about what happened with you and Octavia, and I don't want you out here alone, so Granny Smith said it was okay for me to come here."
I frown at this news. I thought I made it clear to everyone that I want to be alone, but at the same time, I didn't want to send Sonata away. I make a gesture as a way of saying, "Come here," and with a small smile, she follows me to the living room where we sit down on the couch.
"How are you feeling?" Sonata asks.
"Not well," I answer sadly. "I miss her, Sonata. It's only been a couple of days, and already, I'm practically dying for a chance to get her back and never let her leave me again. It hurts that she jumped to conclusions like that and gave up on us. It hurts worse than her slapping me or ridiculing me for whatever stupid thing I have done. After everything that happened, she just..."
Before I can try to finish that sentence again, Sonata scoots closer to me and hugs me tightly. She tries to fight the tears in her eyes as she rubs my back while holding me.
"I'm sorry," she says quietly. "I'm so sorry that Tavi dumped you."
For a moment, I don't say anything, but then I smile sadly as I hug her back.
"Thank you," I whisper.
Nothing else is said for a couple of minutes before Sonata lifts her head to look at me.
"What about your Christmas present?" She asks. "Did you get her one?"
"Yeah, but I never got the chance to give it to her," I answered sadly.
"Can I see it?" She asks.
I turn my head to her, and she gives me an adorable hopeful look that I can't help but smile at.
"I don't see why not," I say, which makes her smile.
We stand up, and I lead her to my room, where I have Octavia's present under my bed. I take it out and give it to her, and her eyes light up as she looks at the necklace.
"Aw, Rough Draft. This is so pretty!" She exclaims.
"Yeah, it is," I say calmly. "It was the perfect gift because it was the same kind of necklace Octavia's grandfather, who she was very close with, gave her grandmother when he confessed his love for her. I thought it was fitting."
"Aw!" Sonata exclaims again before her face suddenly falls. "But what are you going to do with it now?"
A let out a sad chuckle and say,  "I don't know. Maybe keep it around for in case Octavia changes her mind or something."
Sonata frowns at this before an idea forms in her head.
"What if you somehow gave it to her anyway?" She asks. "Like maybe use it to get her back? I mean you were going to use it to show your love anyway, why not use it to show that she was wrong?"
"That sounds like a nice idea, but she probably wouldn't like that given how guys use to woo her with jewelry back when she lived in Manehattan," I say.
"Well, maybe add something to it," Sonata suggests. "Something that she knows is from the heart as a way of showing your sincerity. Didn't you plan on writing a story for her if finding a gift didn't work?"
Suddenly, my face lights up, and I smile,  saying, "You know, Sonata, I think you're on to something. I do still have that one story she liked to finish, and now I think I know just how to do it."
Sonata squeals in excitement as I grab my backpack and take out my notebook and a pen. I go to my desk and tell Sonata, "This might take a while."
She shrugs and says, "I don't mind. Just do what you gotta do, and I'll wait."
"Well, feel free to play a game on my laptop or something as long as you're quiet," I say.
She nods and excitedly gets on my laptop while I turn to open my notebook to where I left off on my story. I close my eyes and take a deep breath before I start writing.



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"So...my own teacher was sending me to my death?" Rough Draft said, petrified.
"He might not have known you were there, but yes." The Gray Woman replied. "What's more is that those minions did not need to die. They were part of an ancient Sith ritual that possessed their bodies through the use of a powerful Sith Holocron. Even in death, the Sith using it can continue to possess people. Those who are possessed can easily be freed through a simple shielding ability, but if the Holocron is destroyed, those possessed will die with it. I assume you can figure out which choice your former master made?"
Rough Draft was speechless. The idea of his former master making these kinds of choices is unthinkable to him.
"How do you know this?" He asked. "What makes you so certain that you know so much about what happened that day? Who are you?"
The Gray Woman's face remained calm as she replied.
"I am a representation of the past. A voice calling from her island to warn the dangers of the dark side that all started in my home."
Rough Draft looked at her, confused until it hit him.
"You mean you are a descendant of the first Jedi?" He asked.
"Close, I am one of the first Jedi," she said.
Rough Draft stared at the Gray Woman even more confused than before.
"You see, Master Jedi, I didn't tell you the entire truth," she continued. "I was there when the first Jedi Order fell. I knew that padawan who fell to the dark side. I watched as everyone I cared about, everything I valued burn into fire and ash. It's been thousands of years, and the pain of watching my closest surviving companions flee to spread their teachings of both light and darkness while I stayed behind is fresh in my heart."
"But how are you still alive?" Rough Draft asked, bewildered. "Not even the most skilled Sith Alchemists can delay death for that long."
"True, but then again, I'm not truly here at all, am I?" the Gray Woman said plainly.
Rough Draft looked at her, confused again.
"What are you saying?" he asked.
"Take my hand, Master Jedi," she instructed, stretching out her hand to him. He reluctantly took out his hand only to have it phase through hers.
"You're some Force Ghost that isn't blue?" He asked, confused.
"Not exactly," she said. "What I am is a memory in a near physical form bound to this place. This rock I am sitting on is the tombstone where I buried myself. It was many years after that fateful night and I started to grow sick, so through the strength I had left in the Force, I opened a hole in this spot; my favorite meadow that was once my private study, and closed it with me inside and from there I slept. What you see before you is a memory of who I was after the first Jedi Order was disbanded. Bound in the Force to this island to express what I have learned to any who find this place."
Rough Draft looked at her perplexed by her words.
"Then how did you know all those things about my life, or what happened between Master Monteur-Rahn and Blumblood?" He asked.
"Because I am one with the Force." The Gray Woman answered. "I may be a memory, but I am still connected to the Force and all that it flows through. Thus I know and can see all that has transpired since my death, including everything that happened on Russan."
Rough Draft was speechless.
"Then what was the point of everything that has happened?" He asked.
"I told you, I exist to warn all who find this place, including you," the Gray Woman said. "My wish was for you to listen and see past your stubborn sight of what is considered good and evil. You see, Master Draft, you have a good, well-meaning heart, but you devote violence against your enemies, something against the Jedi way that closes possibilities to escort those who need the light to it. There are many Sith who would have chosen the light if they were given a chance as opposed to being denied it by the lightsaber or the irrational choices of those like your former master. It's up to you to open your eyes and see that not all who follow darkness are wholeheartedly evil and may instead need a better way."
"Let me see if I have this straight," Rough Draft said. "You're telling me that the Force has guided me to this place to say that I should try to bring my mortal enemies who live to only destroy into the light? Do you expect me to listen to you?"
"Yes," The Gray Woman said firmly. "I know it may sound preposterous after everything you have witnessed in your life, but you must understand that not everything in front of you is as black and white as you may think. Not all who follow the light are immune to the dark side, and not all who worship the dark side have no light in them. Remember, Master Jedi, peace is no good to you if your only means of obtaining it is destruction."
Rough Draft wanted to say something to counter the Gray Woman's words, but nothing came out. Deep down, he knew that her words rang true even if he couldn't explain it. Her teachings backed up what she has expressed with her telling of what happened on that fateful day in Russan, but it left him in a predicament concerning his former master, Monteur-Rahn.
"In that case, I will tell the council what you have told -"
"No, you must not speak of me to your masters," the Gray Woman hissed.
"What? Why?" Rough Draft asked, surprised. "The council must know what you have learned and see as you have demanded me to see."
"That is not for you to decide," the Gray Woman said. "I only appear because the Force wanted you here. My memory is not something that can freely be seen like a holo-book available to anyone at your order's library. I have told you everything the Force wanted you to know, and now it is up to you what to make of it in your journeys to come."
"So, I must never tell anyone of the knowledge I have learned?" Rough Draft asked.
"You may teach what you have learned, but my existence must never be told," the Gray Woman answered. "The rumors of the so-called Jedi Princess must remain simply that: rumors. Never to be found until called upon by the next person the Force guides to this place."
Rough Draft wanted to say something against this idea, but he sighed, accepting his instructions from the Force.
"It's too bad," he admitted sadly. "You seem like someone I could have cared for if you were still alive."
The Gray Woman smirked at his words.
"Careful, Master Jedi. We wouldn't want your feelings to get the better of you, now would we?" She taunted.
Rough Draft smiled before his frown returned, and he asked, "Can I at least know your name?"
"Why?" The Gray Woman asked with her eyebrow raised.
"I may never speak to you, but I do wish to know who you were if not a Jedi princess." He said.
The Gray Woman lets out a small but sincere smile before she answered.
"Octavia Melody,"
Rough Draft smiled and nodded in thanks before she disappeared right before his eyes. He looked around to see that he is completely alone and looked at the rock that is Octavia's tombstone. He frowns sadly, wishing he had more time to spend with her and wishing she was alive. After a minute, he walked back to his ship. He ordered his astro droid to prepare the ship before he gave the island one last look.
"May we somehow meet again, Octavia Melody," he said before he hops inside his ship and starts the flight back to Tython. He knows that he will have to give a fake report to the Jedi council when he returns, but until then, all he can do is think about what had just transpired on that island in Acht-To with the Gray Woman with the violet eyes.
 
 

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When I finish, I sigh in relief. In a way that's hard to explain, it kind of feels good to finally finish it. It feels like the right ending after everything I have experienced with Octavia. After all, she was trying to help me to be a better person, and I guess in some way, she got her wish when I finally forgave Sunset Shimmer.
If only we didn't lose our relationship in the process.
I turn to Sonata, who is enjoying a mini-game on my laptop.
"Sonata, I'm done," I say.
She breaks her concentration on the game and gives me a small smile.
"Sweet. So how are you going to give your gifts to Octavia?" She asks.
I think about it for a moment before an idea pops into my head. I carefully tear out the pages in my notebook containing the story and organize them in the correct order. Then I take out another sheet and write in big words "Our Story" and then staple all of the pages together.
"It's no fancy cover, but I doubt Octavia will care even if she doesn't hate me," I say to Sonata, which she replies with a supportive smile. 
I then walk out of the room for a moment to grab a Christmas bag and some covers and carefully put the story and the case inside in the bag and cover them up as much as possible. Then I take out a card, and with Sonata watching me with a sad smile, I write,

Dear Octavia,
I know you hate me right now, and I don't know if you will even open this or the presents inside, but I wanted to give them to you regardless. I want you to know that I am very thankful for everything you have done for me, and it breaks my heart that our relationship is over. I know you think it's your fault; that you think you pushed me into cheating on you, but I will never stop saying that I didn't cheat on you. I wanted to give you something to show my love this Christmas even though you said not to, and I agreed to work together with Sunset Shimmer with finding presents while you thought I was at home. I know you think some attraction drives me to Sunset Shimmer, and maybe in hindsight, it makes sense given the way I've been around her in the past, but I hope a day will come when you realize that the only one I will ever care about is you. If it does, I'll be waiting for you. Until then, and you may do with your gifts as you will, and I hope you enjoy the last pages of our story.
Love now and always,
Rough Draft (Darling)

When I finish, I look at my work and then put the card on an envelope and write "For Octavia" on the front of the envelope. Then I tie it onto one of the handles of the bag and then pick up the bag and say, "Let's go." Sonata gives a small nod as we leave. I put on my hoodie, and we walk out the door and out of the house into the snowy neighborhood.




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For about half an hour, we make it to Octavia's house. The house is lit up with Christmas lights, but only some of the windows are on, and Tempo's car is in the driveway, indicating that Octavia and her parents are home.
I turn to Sonata and lift a finger a way of saying, "Wait here," and she nods in understanding. I walk towards the front porch as stealthily as I can and place my presents at the side of the door. I consider knocking the door or ringing the doorbell so that someone will open the door and see the bag, but I decide against it.
I turn around and quietly walk away when I get the sudden feeling I am being watched. I turn around, but I still see no one behind the windows. I wonder if someone, maybe Octavia, has secretly been watching me this whole time, but I decide that it doesn't matter. If someone is looking, that might lead to them finding the presents, so all the better. I continue my walk back to Sonata, who gives me a sad smile.
"Do you think this will help?" She asks, sadly.
I look at her with a frown as I sadly respond, "I don't know. She might throw it away without even looking at what's inside, but that's her choice. At least this way, I'll have made one last effort to change her mind, but until then, all there is to it is waiting."
Sonata looks at me sadly before she places her hand on my shoulder and smiles encouragingly.
"Don't worry, Rough Draft. Things will turn up in the end," She says.
"How can you be sure?" I ask.
"I'm not," She says plainly. "I'm just choosing to keep my chin up. Granny Smith has been telling me to do that a lot and remember that tomorrow is another day to see what the Lord has in store ever since I started staying with the Apples, and I think thinking that way works. Not all the time, but it's a phrase that is more uplifting than Adagio rudely saying 'just follow my lead' for a thousand years. So, I choose to be hopeful more often than not, and I think you should too."
I give her a small smile.
"I'll have to keep that in mind, I guess," I say before I pat her back and say, "Come on. I'll walk you back to Sweet Apple Acres."
Sonata smiles at me and nods before we start walking back to her new home. As we walk, I turn my head and look at Octavia's house one more time. The bag is still in its place untouched and protected from the snow by the roof. I frown, still hurt about Octavia and me, but I hope that in time, things will get better.
After all, she was my miracle of falling in love for real. Maybe someday that miracle will return.


End of part one