Shim Sham's Bizarre Adventure

by Joey JoJo Shabadoo


Part 10: Suri's Last Stand

“Miss Rarity, please calm down. Stomping your feet and cursing under your breath isn’t going to solve anything.” Coco gently pleaded to an enraged Rarity.

After defeating Suri Polomare and her possession Stand, Hunter Soul, Rarity and Coco took the time to discuss their situation and exchange apologies like civilised adults. However, during this brief moment of distraction, Suri took the opportunity to silently slip away, leaving Rarity in a strop.

“Oooh, curse that conniving, little delinquent! I should have captured her when I had the chance!”

“It’s okay. At least you saved me.” Coco smiled.

While she appreciated her kind words, Rarity still felt like a failure, but seeing Coco’s face sparked off another idea.

“We’re not done yet.”

“We aren’t? Did you think of a way to find Suri?”

“Oh no, this is something much more important.”

“What?” Coco asked, as Rarity suddenly grabbed her arm, leading her across the field, toward the school. “Where are we going?”

“I’m bringing you inside, so we can clean your face of all those nicks and scrapes.”

“But, what about Suri? She’s getting away! I’m fine!”

“Don’t be daft. I can’t let you be seen like this, we must clean you up, posthaste. Suri will get hers soon enough.”

Just outside of the school, Suri managed to scramble together enough energy to shamble to the front entrance. With the coast clear, she took this chance to rest and recompose herself.

“I can’t believe that snooty witch tricked me like that. Now I don’t have any lackeys left to boss around...” As Suri sat on the steps of the school entrance, picking tiny grass needles from every corner of her body, she thought about the other Stand users that man had gathered.

“What happened to those guys anyway? It’s like they all disappeared and that anti-social shadow doesn't seem to care at all. I thought we were going to build an army of Stand users together, whom we'd have at our beck and call, but now they’re all gone.

And what was up with Rarity? Why was she so tough? She couldn’t have had her Stand for very long and yet, she trounced me. I don’t get it!”

After letting off steam with her ranting, she pulled out the Unicorn Arrow from under her clothing. “Well, at the very least, I still got this. Maybe I can use it as a bargaining chip or something... yeah... with this in my possession, he'll have no choice but to do as I say! I'll march right up to that man and make him answer to me!”

“Sounds great! Mind if we join you?” From atop the staircase stood Applejack and Rainbow Dash, idly leaning against the door, with Stands at the ready, having overheard Suri’s loud monologuing.

Upon realising that the girls were enemy Stand users, Suri wasted no time in summoning Hunter Soul. The spirit possessed the doors and promptly slammed them shut in the girl’s faces. Suri then made a run for it, she had enough trouble dealing with one Stand user, let alone two.

Flustered by the sudden door in their face, Applejack and Rainbow Dash quickly followed after Suri down the street. Despite her injuries, she was determined not to get caught. The park wasn’t far, she just needed to keep them off her tail until she reached the forest.

Unfortunately, Dash and Applejack were the most athletic of Sunset’s friends and it wasn't long before they got dangerously close to her. She needed to slow them down and her Stand was the only way she knew how.

As she ran past an alleyway, Hunter Soul possessed a couple of garbage bags to hurl at the girls.

“I got it!” Dash called, as her Stand spread it’s sharp wings and slashed through the bags with a single swipe, allowing them to run straight through, unfazed.

As a result of the possessed bags being sliced in half, a massive gash appeared on Suri’s shoulder, as if someone had just hacked away at her with a knife, with a stream of blood gushing out. The pain was sharp, but not enough to stop her as she pressed on toward the park gates.

“What the heck are you doing, Dash!?” Applejack chided.

“What? What’d I do?”

“You can’t just go around slashing away at things like that! We wanna catch her, not cut her arm off!”

“I didn’t know that would happen! What was I supposed to do, just let the garbage hit us in the face!?”

“You should have dodged it or smacked it away! Use your head for once!”

“And how do you know that would have worked!? You don’t know what her Stand can do, what if she wanted us to do that!?”

“Don’t you give me lip about Stand powers, when you barely have control over your own!”

“I’m just working with what I’ve got, and if what I’ve got is super sharp wings, then I’m gonna use them!”

Amidst their heated argument, Applejack noticed that they had lost track of Suri. “Oh, now look! She got away!”

“Don’t yell at me! You’re the one who stopped chasing her to lecture me on proper Stand usage!”

“Where could she have gone?”

Dash looked around and quickly discovered suspicious looking blood spots leading down the street. “Hey, looks like she left a trail.”

“Yeah, we can use that to track her.”

“'Thank you Rainbow Dash, for making a trail that'll lead us straight to her. I guess you really can use your head. You are so awesome!' Hey, no problem, Applejack!”

“Oh, gimme a break...”

Suri hurried through the park until she reached the Time Dial. That man’s hideout was in the forest close by. However, by the clock sat a girl she recognised, drawing some kind of strange graffiti on the pavement.

“Hey, you!” Suri called to the girl. “What the heck have you been doing all this time!? Discord, Lightning, Gilda, they all disappeared and I’ve been stuck cleaning up their mess, while you completely vanished! What have you been doing this whole time, Starlight!?”

Starlight, stood up and examined Suri. It didn’t take a genius to figure out that she’d had a rough day, with the tears in her clothes, the needles poking out of her skin and the way she was clutching that nasty gash on her shoulder. She almost felt sorry for her.

“I guess you’ve seen better days, haven’t you?” Starlight mocked.

“Don’t taunt me! I’m your superior! You should have been the one risking their life to get the arrow back, not me!”

“Superior?” Starlight chuckled. “Are you still working with that man? Still a member of his pathetic, super villain group?”

“Of course I am! Have you forgotten what happens to those who betray him!?”

“Something about experiencing true darkness, right? What an empty threat that was. He hasn’t done anything to anybody, he just sits in that room all day, blindly believing all the pieces will just fall into place on their own, but all he’s really accomplished is wasting everybody’s time. Unlike him, I've been taking action!”

“What are you talking about?”

“Tell me, Suri. Have you ever wondered what that man's true motives are?” Starlight goaded, flashing Suri a familiar looking notebook.

“Hey! That’s his notebook! How did you get that!? And what are you doing with it!?”

Suri attempted to reclaim the notebook, but Starlight’s Stand, Diva, blocked her path. It’s intimidating stance warned Suri not to come any closer.

"What happened to your Stand? It was so wimpy before, why is it so much bigger?"

"I've been practising."

Suri grew anxious, Applejack and Rainbow Dash were just behind her and now an entirely new problem had presented itself.

“Starlight, what are you planning to do with that notebook?” She asked in desperation.

“Why don’t you ask that man instead? Oh, and while you’re at it, can you ask him his real name, referring to him as “that man” all the time is irritating.”

Starlight made her escape as Dash and Applejack came into view. With no time to waste, Suri darted into the forest with the girls following close behind.

“Dash, wait!” Called Applejack.

“No way! I’m not losing her again!” Dash continued to chase Suri into the forest, but the moment she ran through the bushes, Suri vanished out of sight. Gone, without a trace. Dash was confused for a moment, but pressed on anyway. If she just kept moving forward she’d find her eventually.

It wasn’t long before Dash saw a light, hoping it would lead straight to her hideout, she picked up the pace. She finally exited the forest with a triumphant yell.

“You're not getting away that easily!”

“Trust me. I would if I could.” Replied an amused Applejack.

“Wait, what? What happened? How’d I get back here?”

“Didn’t you listen to a word Sunset said?”

“Obviously not! I'll just try again!” Dash immediately rushed back into the forest, only to come running back out only a minute later, much to her shock.

“What!? But, all I did was run straight forward!”

“Dash, will you just listen for once...?” Applejack sighed, losing her patience. “That forest is protected by a Stand, we can’t just rush in there.”

“But, their hideout is right there! And we can’t even get in!?”

“Nope.”

“Then I’ll fly in!”

“Dash, wait!”

Attaching her Stand to her back, Dash flew over the forest and found what appeared to be an old house. Confident that she had located their hideout she flew toward it, but as soon as she got close, her vision became hazy, as reality itself warped and contorted. To avoid crashing, she slowly descended to the ground. Once she landed, her vision stabalised. Even though she was directly above the clearing, she somehow ended up back inside the forest.

She made a break for the house, but inevitably, she wound up back outside with Applejack again.

“Seriously!?” She cried. “I can’t even fly in!? How are we supposed to get past this thing!?”

Applejack shrugged, she was just as stumped as Dash was. “Fluttershy managed to get past it somehow, so their must be a way, we just haven’t figured it out yet. Come on, let’s go report back to Sunset.”

“This is so stupid!” Dash screamed in frustration.

Suri hurried inside the rickety old house having successfully retrieved the Unicorn Arrow and avoided her pursuers. Now that she was inside the safety of that man’s stronghold, she could finally relax. She made her way to the living room and collapsed on the sofa.

Stronghold may have been an exaggeration, as the building itself was nothing special. It was ancient, abandoned and creaky. There was no running water or electricity and with the curtains drawn the building was cloaked in pitch darkness.

Suri sat up and stared at the arrow in her hand. Thanks to her unexpected encounter with it, she had quite a troublesome week. Meeting a strange man who bestowed strange powers upon her, meeting other strange individuals with strange powers and formulating strange plans. The whole situation was just... bizarre.

But despite some recent setbacks, Suri ultimately enjoyed her time as a Stand user. While her comrades weren’t the friendliest people, she still appreciated their company. It wasn’t everyday she became part of a special group, all of whom had a shared interest.

However, as time passed, her subordinates left, as Sunset's group took them out, one after another, as her personal goal was shoved further and further to the wayside. Her dream of gathering a team of like minded Stand users seemed ever more fleeting. Now, she was the only one left in this empty house, beside that man.

The one who orchestrated the entire plan from the start and yet, did the least amount of work, other than occasionally give orders. His word was absolute and yet, his actions were minimal. A man who refused to leave his small, darkened hideaway for anything, while Suri's comrades risked their lives following his orders. She questioned whether the man was even fit to be her leader at all and her encounter with Starlight had her questioning his motives.

The more she thought about it the angrier she got. She didn’t care how scary he was, she needed answers. Suri marched across the hallway to the man’s room and threw the door open.

As usual, the man sat at his table, watching his monitor in complete darkness, paying no mind to Suri’s sudden intusion.

“Sir.” She addressed. “I’ve brought back the Unicorn Arrow.”

The man didn’t answer.

“You... you did need this back, right?”

“Answer me this, Suri.” The man replied. “What was it like fighting another Stand user?”

“Excuse me?”

“Did it excite you? Frighten you? Or was it just a bother?”

Suri wasn’t expecting the man to suddenly start asking her questions and wasn’t sure how to respond.

“I... don’t know...”

“When your Stands clashed, could you feel the weight of their power? Was there a noticeable gap in your strength? Or, were you evenly matched? Could you even tell at all?”

Suri stormed into this room with a burning rage, but the man’s calm demeanor and sudden queries made her tense up. He barely spoke a word, but now she felt like she was being interrogated. It was unsettling, but this did give her the opportunity to address another concern, plaguing her thoughts.

"I did notice something, there was a gap in our power."

"Go on."

“She was strong... really strong.”

The man turned slightly in his chair to face her, his interest piqued.

Suri continued. “I don’t understand. Why was she so strong? Her... and that apple girl too... she beat Bulk so easily... and that Rainbow girl! She was so fast, her wings were so sharp!”

The man's piercing red eyes focused on Suri.

“Now that I think about it, the others were defeated just as easily. But how? We’ve had our Stands longer and yet Rarity and her friends... are more powerful? This doesn’t make any sense!”

“It appears my theory was correct.” The man replied. He rose from his chair, walking over to his window to stretch his legs. Suri was shocked that the man could move at all.

“What theory? What’s going on?”

“The key to this whole operation was patience. If I acted too quickly and was found out, Sunset's friends wouldn't be the only elements hunting me down. The plan would fail immediately. However, I also needed to be certain that their powers were real, that they weren't just a fluke. I needed to be one hundred percent certain, that none of this was a coincidence.”

After showing barely any emotion throughout the past week, the man seemed pleased with himself, even if he still remained stoic.

“And then there's Starlight, the traitor. That foolish girl thinks she can steal my plans and use them for her own childish needs? But, all she's really done is finish all of the busy work for me.”

Suri grew more agitated, she came here to demand answers, but the man’s sudden change in attitude put her on edge, she didn’t understand a word he was saying.

“Power? Coincidences? What does that have to do with anything? Just who are those girls!?”

“I must thank you, Suri.” The man suddenly faced her. Even from a distance, his large physique seemed to cast a shadow, looming over her.

“With your reckless approach at recruiting Stand users, you have accidentally stumbled upon the powers I was searching for. I was prepared to stay in this world for much longer, until I discovered them myself, while the Stand users of this place grew strong enough. All so I could one day put my plans into motion, but it appears your random shots in the dark have somehow worked out in my favour. I guess this is what they call 'Fate'?”

“You didn’t answer my question.”

The man thought for a moment, but decided there was no harm in sharing a few details with her. It was the least he could do, as a reward her for all her hard work.

“The Unicorn Arrow was originally designed to draw out the latent magical powers inside non-unicorns, however in this world, magic does not exist.”

Suri was shocked that the man was actually explaining himself. “Non-unicorns? This world? You say that like you're from some alternate universe... wait a minute... does this have something to do with the weird stuff that's been happening at that school? Like those weird portals at the Friendship Games?”

“I have little knowledge of those events. All you need to know is that magic should not exist in this world. But, when creatures and objects cross into this world from the other side, they undergo a transformation, in order to adapt to this new world. The Unicorn Arrow was no exception.

While its appearance remained unchanged, its power to awaken the magic from within was slightly modified. Now, it can bestow the humans of this world with Equestrian magic, but since magic does not naturally exist here, the Stands created from it were weaker than those from my world, but with enough time and practise, even human magic can improve, giving human Stands just as much potential as any other.

Now, this is where things get interesting. If the arrow bestows and awakens the magic hidden within a human's body, then what do you suppose would happen if a human, who was already imbued with magical energy, was then pierced by the arrow?”

A thought clicked in Suri's head. She started to understand what was happening. “The arrow would awaken the magical energy, which means, any Stands born from it, would be stronger by default. Like, they were given a head start, compared the average person!”

“Indeed, watching your subordinates lose to those girls, time and again, was more than enough evidence to confirm my theory.”

“So, we never stood a chance...? No! That’s not fair! There’s more to Stand battles than just power. They were just bad match-ups, that’s all!”

“I’d rather not listen to your whining. Your people served me well, Suri, but I no longer require your services. You’re free to leave whenever you want.”

“What!? But... I thought we were going to create an army of Stand users. We’d gather together and... I don’t know... take over the school, or the city, or something!”

The man was amused by Suri’s childish fantasy, but wasted no time dragging her back into reality.

“That plan was merely a means to an end. Now that I’ve found what I’m looking for, you are no longer needed.”

“But, everyone’s gone...”

"That's none of my concern."

"No! I... I want my friends back!"

The man was surprised by Suri’s tenacity. Purely out of his own fascination, with Stand powers in the human world and for his own amusement, he devised a plan.

“Very well, Suri. I’ll propose a challenge. Use the arrow to recruit one more Stand user and if you can use them to defeat at least one of Sunset’s friends, then that should be proof enough that I was wrong and we shall continue working together, but if you lose, do not interfere with me again.”

“Fine! I’ll show you! Human Stands are just as strong as whatever, weird magical realm you’re from!”

Suri stormed out of the room, so caught up in her rage that she completely forgot to ask the man what his real plans even were in the first place. The man returned to his chair. The time was drawing near, but there was no reason to rush, as there was still one more thought plaguing his mind. “How do I gather them all together?”

Stumbling back onto the streets of Canterlot, Suri was determined to find a Stand user that could defeat one of Rarity’s friends. She tried to be as conspicuous as possible in case one of those friends was still lurking the city.

She searched around, but finding someone with the potential to manifest a powerful Stand was surprisingly difficult. Most candidates she considered were just normal people, their was no way to tell just by looking, if they had any potential at all and she didn’t want to end up with any duds.

Suri grew tired of wandering the city and her wounds were only adding to her stress. They started healing more quickly than expected, but were still sore. This would have been a really good time to call Coco to do the work for her, but sadly, that was no longer an option. She just had to grit her teeth and bare it... until she noticed the bench at the bus stop and lounged across it. She could still keep looking, just without any of the pesky exercise.

Some time passed, as the bus arrived to drop off its passengers. The bus was packed, as it was the end of another busy work day in the city. As Suri watched the flood of people rush out of the vehicle, amidst the crowd she spotted a unique looking individual.

A man wearing a black poncho and matching cowboy hat stepped onto the sidewalk. He strolled down the street with his hat covering his face. He exuded an aura of calm seriousness, like a man on a mission.

Suri could feel it in her gut. His strange appearance and demeanor were the signs of a potent Stand user. It was as if her own Stand resonated with him, like it was destiny. She followed the man until there were less people around, she needed to make sure she had a clear shot of him. As soon as they were alone, Hunter Soul possessed the arrow and shot itself into the mystery man’s back.

As with other Stand users, the man was overwhelmed by magical energy for a brief moment, as if the blood rushed to his head. Upon regaining his senses, the man felt a prick in his back. He reached behind himself and pulled out the arrow. Though it stung at first, the wound quickly healed over.

Confused by the sudden appearance of an arrow in his back, the man turned around hoping to find the culprit of this bizarre assault, at which point he spotted Suri.

“Hey!” He called, smiling. “Is this yours!?”

Suri was puzzled, the man had just been pierced by a sharp weapon and yet he yelled with childlike enthusiasm, in complete contrast to his appearance. In response to his question, Suri summoned Hunter Soul, once again.

The man screamed girlishly. “Spooky ghost!”

“This isn’t a ghost.” Suri corrected, already regretting her decision. “What you are witnessing is my Stand. And if you can see it, that means the arrow that pierced your back has granted you the ability to wield a Stand of your own!”

“Wait, what’s happening now?” The man asked, staring blankly.

“It means you have magic powers. You're a Stand user.”

“Oh, well that’s convenient. I’ve been meaning to find a stand to hang my hat on.”

“What are you talking about?”

“What? Come on, don't you get it?” The man chuckled.

“Stop that.”

“Why? Can’t stand my jokes?”

“Listen to me you ingrate! I just gave you powers from another world, the least you could do is listen to me!”

“Geez, lady. Maybe I should pierce you with this arrow, it might give you a sense of humour.”

Suri had a stressful day. The last thing she wanted to hear were childish jokes. She took a deep breath and asked for the man’s name.

“Me? Why I’m the harbinger of hootenannies, the bringer of ballroom bashes, the greatest pioneering party pony of all time!”

“Party... pony?”

“What? Oh right, I’m the human me, so I guess that makes me a party... human? No that’s not right... party person? Yeah! Alliteration! The greatest party person on the planet!”

“Your name?”

“Oh, Cheese Sandwich!”

“You can’t be serious.”

“As serious as the gun in my holster.” Cheese reached for his waist and pulled up his pistol. Only to scream in realisation that he just pulled out an actual pistol.

Suri had already lost patience with Cheese and his infantile behaviour. “What is your problem!?”

“Sorry, that wasn’t supposed to happen. I had no idea I was actually packing heat.” Cheese examined the firearm, a bright and colourful six shooter that, thankfully, wasn’t loaded. “I wonder where it came from?”

A gun spontaneously appearing from nowhere? Suri had a pretty good idea. She walked over to Cheese to examine the gun herself. Without even touching it she could tell, her soul resonated with it. “This fruity pistol must be your Stand.”

“Wait... you get a magical ghost and all I get is a gun? That’s lame...” Cheese lamented... for about two seconds before immediately getting excited again. “I wonder how it works!?”

“Don’t point that thing at me!” Suri yelled, batting the gun out of her face.

“Oh, come on. I know what I’m doing.” Cheese shrugged, as the gun misfired into the wall beside them, blasting a hole roughly the size of a tennis ball. “Uh, I didn't do that.”

Suri tried to ignore the spontaneous property damage and focused on her objective. “Listen, you. I’m Suri Polomare, and I’m the one in charge here. I didn’t just give you those powers out of the kindness of my heart.”

“You didn’t?” Cheese asked, looking down the barrel of his gun.

“I have a job that only you can take care of.”

“Sure, but under one condition.”

“What?”

“Can I give my Stand a cool name?”

“Uh... fine, whatever.”

“Awesome, imma call it: Nothing Out of the Ordinary! I can call it: NOOTO, for short!”

“I don't care, now follow me.”

Suri guided Cheese back to Canterlot High. The school day had ended, but there were still students lingering, some for extra classes, while others were stuck in detention. Not wanting to cause a scene, Suri considered waiting until all the students had left to find a Stand user for Cheese to fight, but luckily one particular student had different plans.

Suri and Cheese hid in the bushes by the school field as they spotted Pinkie Pie, who appeared to have snuck outside to secretly snack on some goodies she stashed in her hair. Out in the field, she found a nice spot with a bench to relax on.

“You know.” Pinkie thought aloud. “I should really be in after school classes right now, but pfffft, when am I ever going to need math anyway? It’s such an amazing day today, I’d much rather be napping in the sun.” Pinkie laid down on the bench, ready to fall asleep.

“Okay, now’s our chance.” Suri whispered. “I need you to take her out with your Stand.”

“What? Why?”

“Because she’s our enemy and I need to prove that we’re capable of defeating them.”

"We're capable? Who's "we're"? Is it you? Did you lose? Is that why you look like you just crawled out of a toilet?"

"Will you shut up and do as I say!?"

“I don't know, I'm not sure if I should be shooting her, or anyone...”

“It doesn’t have to be fatal, just cripple her or something.”

Cheese wasn’t really up for crippling people, but if it got Suri off his back, he decided to play along. He still wasn’t quite sure what his Stand power was exactly, so he pulled out his gun, took aim and hoped for the best.

He pulled the trigger and fired with a loud bang, waking Pinkie from her nap and causing her to immediately jump to her feet, assuming a karate pose. “What!? Who’s there!?”

Pinkie analysed the surrounding area and found something odd in the grass, near the bushes. She picked it up for a closer look. “Is this... confetti?”

Suri was dumbfounded as Cheese pointed to his gun in excitement. “Look, Suri. Streamers.”

Suri was about to give Cheese the reprimanding of a lifetime, but Pinkie called out to the bushes. “Hey! Who’s in there!?”

Not wanting to get caught herself, Suri quickly shoved Cheese out of the bushes and onto his face.

“Who are you?” Pinkie asked.

Cheese quickly jumped back up, dusted himself off and fixed his hat. He then put on his serious face. “The name’s Cheese. Cheese Sandwich!"