//------------------------------//
// Act I Scene 1 
// Story: Turnip & Aquamarine 
// by grl6p 
//------------------------------//

ACT I SCENE 1:

Enter Nut and Bolt of the house of McColt, with hay bales and piles of planks.

Nut McColt, a blue-violet colt with three little screws for a cutie mark said to his brother, "Ah hate 'dos Hooffields. We're better den dem an' won't take their horseshit no more!"

Bolt McColt, his twin with bolts for a cutie mark agreed, "Damn right! If dose Hooffields throw any of dose damn veggies over here, we fight back! 'Cuz we're the McColts and we ain't never gonna stop until those Hooffields are all in Tartarus!"

Nut said, "Yeah! Imma show them where my horseshoe fits!"

Both of them started laughing hysterically, but their moment was short lived as two ponies of the Hoffield family appeared.

One of them was Hilly Hooffield, a beautiful yellow skinned mare with a mane of reddish-purple and a dress of olive green.

The other, Greenhoof, was a frumpy Hooffield with bushy red eyebrows, a frizzy mane, an overbite, and an ugly blue dress straight out of the 2nd Equestrian era.

Greenhoof put her hoof in front of Hilly, "Hold back Hilly," she ordered, "dose are McColts and dey might wanna fight us, but we ain't gonna be bested. Follow my lead."

Hilly asked, "But what if we get in trouble for fightin' like last time? We almos' got 'rested!"

"Den let those McColts fight us first. So they get in trubble."

"I get it, so dey're the ones who get busted by Princess Twilight for causin' a hootenanny."

Greenhoof said, "Ya damn right! Now stay back while I tick dem off!"

She then yelled out to the McColt brothers,, "Hey Screwy and Bolt!"

The two McColts turned to the Hooffield girls.

Nut ran up close to Greenhoof, "Did you call me screwy miss?"

"Yea I called you Screwy you nut!"

Nut growled, "No. pony. CALLS! ME! SCREWY!"

Bolt backed his brother, "You wa' fight bitch?!"

"Bring it on!"

Pretty soon the pairs of Hooffields and McColts had gone to their sides of the Smoky Mountains.

Within minutes, Greenhoof and Hilly had gathered the rest of the Hooffields together in the valley to launch vegetables at the McColts and the McColts got their members ready for launching hay bales.

The matriarch of the Hooffields, Ma Hooffield, yelled out, "Alright McColts, prepare to taste defeat!"

The patriach of the McColts, Big Daddy yelled, "No you get ready to taste defeat!"

Both clan leaders turned to their family members:

"Ready, aim, fire!"

At first, the fighting was just throwing tomatoes, mud, and sticks at each other.

But soon, it escalated into a violent fight with members wrestling each other in the dirt.

Hilly was desperately trying to crawl out of the rumble, "Can't we just talk this over? Greenhoof didn't mean to insult you."

Ma Hooffield yelled to her niece, "Shut it Hilly! Yer either with us or against us!"

"Ahm just saying that-"

She was interrupted when she was tackled by Hammerhead, a big blue and burly member of the McColts.

"Yee shut yer damn mouth ya lil slut! I'll show you a fight!"

He pinned Hilly to the ground and started beating her up.

"Get off of me!"

"Never!"

Meanwhile, Ma Hooffield and Big Daddy McColt were have a full-blown beatdown in the mud.

"Say yer goodbyes Hooffield! We McColts are better than you!"

"No! Us Hooffields are better! Yer gonna pay for breaking our wheelbarrow!"

"NO! You'll pay for launching those hay bales at our farmhouse!"

Unbeknownst to all of them, the little critters of the Smoky Mountains were hiding in a shrub terrified for their lives.

With all of the fighting between the two families and resources being used as weapons, the animals became starving and homeless.

They had been living in the valley for a long time, and had nowhere else to go, so they were stuck in the crossfires for the rest of their lives.

One of the little bunnies snuck out of the shrub to see if the coast was clear.

He gave a little thumbs up signal from his paw but Hammerhead grabbed the poor bunny and threw him at the McColts.

"Bye bye bunny!"

Above them, Princess Twilight Sparkle was flying above the mountains as part of a Wildlife Conservatory Mission when she was hit by said bunny.

"I should've known." Twilight grumbled under her breath.

She flew into the middle of the flying and projected her voice as loud as the two families could hear.

"STOP FIGHTING NOW!!!!!!!!"

All at once, the Hooffields and McColts stopped what they were doing and looked up at Twilight.

"Your fighting has gotten out of control! You're wasting Equestria's precious resources for your daily battles. Now, who started the fight?!"

Ma Hooffield and Big Daddy McColt pointed at each other, "He(She) started it!"

"Be honest!"

Hilly Hooffield, now bruised and dirty from getting beat up by Hammerhead, announced, "It was Greenhoof's fault! She insulted Nut & Bolt just to cause another fight between us!"

Greenhoof yelled, "Ya lil' snitch! Nut 'n' Bolt were the ones that started this damn mess! They threw hay bales at me! Punish them!"

Everyone began arguing at the same time.

"QUIET!!!"

Everyone stopped and looked at Twilight.

"Greenhoof, come with me. We need to talk." 

"Dagnabit!"

Nut laughed at her, "Loser!"

Twilight then turned to Nut & Bolt, "Don't think you two are getting off the hook so easily. You're coming with me later."

She then announced to the two families, "From now on, if I hear of anymore violence from you two in the Smoky mountains, I'll report you to Princess Celestia and she'll have you serve a life sentence in the Canterlot Dungeon for disturbance of the peace. Do you understand?"

"Yes Princess Twilight."

"Good. Now I don't want to hear anymore news of your fighting."

She flew away and the two feuding families went back to their respective mountains.

Hilly Hooffield sat down on a tree stump next to Ma Hooffield, "Ah wish Turnip would return from Manehattanville for spring break now. Whenever he's away at college, I've got no pony else to talk to." she sighed, "ah'm just glad he didn't return home just to witness our fight earlier."

Ma Hooffield said, "Hilly. There's something ah have to tell y'all 'bout Turnip."

"What is it Ma?"

"His college roommate Fireball had written to me earlier saying that something's wrong with Turnip. Lately, he's been pretty depressed. He's crying every morning, ignoring him, and only leaving his dorm room to go to get food and when he goes to classes, he's too upset to focus. He spends his weekends lying in his bed with the shades down, even on a sunny day. One of his RA's tried to figure out what was wrong with him, but Turnip was too upset to talk. Fireball decided to take action and he asked for my permission to come to the Smoky mountains with him. I said yes only so he could figure out what's making Turnip act like such a downer."

One of the other Hooffields yelled, "Hey Ma! They're here!"

Everyone ran up to greet Turnip and his roommate, but Turnip ignored everyone until he found Hilly.

Hilly ran up and hugged Turnip, "Turnip you're home! I'm so happy to see you! "

"Whatever. What time is it?"

Hilly checked the grandfather clock near her, "About 9, Turnip."

Turnip sighed, "Days have been going so slow lately. I guess that's what happens when you're sad."

He and his cousin sat down in the tree stump.

"Can you tell me what's wrong Turnip? What sadness is lengthening your hours?"

Turnip said, "Remember when I wrote to you that I had a crush on Sequoia from my environmental studies class and that we were dating?"

"Yeah, what about it?"

"Sequioa broke up with me a week ago. She told me she wants to abstain from marriage because she'll be too busy traveling around Equestria preserving wildlife. I told her about helping the animals at the Smoky Mountains but she refused. She told me she didn't want to end up helping them with our feud with the McColts hindering her progress. So she broke it off with me, and that's what's been making me sad."

"Have you tried finding someone new?"

"I'm too depressed to try again."

"Well, Sequoia's just another mare. Sure you thought she was beautiful and meant the world to you, but they'll be other mares out there. It may hurt now, but we'll get through this."

Turnip turned to Hilly, "Ah love ya cuz, you always understand me."

"Ah love ya too Turnip. I'm so glad your home."

The pair of cousins hug.

Exunt