//------------------------------// // Ponyville // Story: Not Again! // by Dreadnought //------------------------------// Big Mac waded through the clear, cold water of the creek that ran down from the hills, divided Sweet Apple Acres, and flowed through town.  His legs and chest were soaking wet and his fur had bits of the muddy bottom stuck to it.  Even though he was a big muscular stallion, the waters chilled him and he felt extremely cold.  He slowly moved over to the shore, carefully scanning the bank for signs of his sisters and grandmare.  He let out a sigh of relief when he didn’t see anypony.  He grabbed a tree branch in his mouth and pulled himself up onto the bank, his horse collar catching on some brush.  He flopped onto the ground in exhaustion.  He lay there resting, trying to get warm and dry.   Ah sure hope Ah lost them.  Ah don’t think I could fight them off.  What the hay is wrong with them?  Ad’d better wait a while before I go back there.   After lying on the bank for a while, Big Mac picked himself up.  He wasn’t much warmer, but at least a little drier.  He lumbered towards town.   Growl!   Ah haven’t had breakfast yet.  No wonder I’m feelin’ so tired.  Ah need to eat somethin'.  Maybe Ah can drop by and see cousin Pinkie and get somethin' from Sugarcube Corner?   Up above the weather pegasi were clearing the morning clouds from the sky.  Some were moving clouds out of the way, allowing more of the sunny sky to be revealed.  Others were flying straight at the clouds, driving into them and breaking them apart into small pieces that quickly vanished.  A blue pegasus trailing a rainbow-colored streak was particularly adept at busting clouds.   Big Mac paused, feeling the warmth of the sun upon his wet and muddy coat.  After a moment, he  resumed his walk towards town.  The hour was still early and very few ponies were out.  He came upon a well known donkey pulling a cart.  “Mornin’,” Big Mac said.   “Mornin’,” replied Carnky.  The two passed each other and continued on their way.   What’s that?  Cookies?  Cake?  Muffins?  Ah don’t know, but it smells wonderful!  That must mean –   Big Mac rounded the corner and saw the gingerbread house that was Sugarcube Corner.  Growl!  He was so hungry he could eat the house!  But instead, he continued on and opened the front door.  He was greeted by a rush of warm air, filled with the smells of all the wonderful treats that were stocked at the sweet shop.  He walked inside and found a pink pony behind the counter.   “Morning Big Mac,” said Pinkie Pie.   “Mornin’ Pinkie.”   “You look hungry.”   “Eeyup.”   “Take a seat.  I’ll get you some muffins.”   Big Mac moved over to the closest table and sat down.  Growl!  Again his stomach made its presence and desires known.  Pinkie returned quickly carrying a large plate of steaming muffins that she placed before Big Mac.  He took a sniff and his mouth watered.  Apple, blueberry, strawberry, cranberry, peach, cinnamon, bannana nut!   “Ooo, let me get you some cinnamon rolls,” said Pinkie.  In a flash she was gone and a moment later she laid a plate filled with hot cinnamon rolls oozing with white icing to his left.  “Ooo, how about coffee cake?”  She rushed out and came back balancing three large coffee cakes that she sat to his right.  Before he knew it he had plates filled with sweet breads, danishes, crepes, and strudels.   “Pinkie?” said Big Mac as she was headed back into the kitchen to get another plate of food.   “Yes Big Mac?”   “Thank ya kindly, but Ah think Ah have enough.”   “Okey-dokey!”  She came over and took a seat at the table.   Big Mac took a bite of the apple muffin.  Mmm.  That’s good.  Ah can’t tell Granny Smith that Pinkie makes better apple muffins than her.  She’ll make me sleep in the barn for the rest of the year!  Why’s Pinkie staring at me?  She’s so quiet.  Is she okay?   “Pinkie, ya alright?” he asked before taking another bite of the muffin.   “I love watching you eat.”  Big Mac started chewing more slowly.  “It’s just one of the many things I love about you.”  Big Mac swallowed.  “Big Mac, will you be my super-duper special somepony?”   “Well, Ah think we’re cousins.  It wouldn’t be right.”   She shoved the plate of the cinnamon rolls off the table.  The pastries flew everywhere and the plate shattered on the floor.  “I said would you be my super-duper special somepony!?”   Big Mac paused for a moment to think.  “Sho' thin' smoopy-doopy.  Could you make me some waffles?”   A large smile broke out across Pinkie Pie’s face.  “Okey dokey my red delicious apple!”  She planted a kiss on his cheek and ran back into the kitchen.   Ah gotta get out of here!  Big Mac slipped off the stool and quietly walked over to the door.  He opened it slowly and softly closed it behind him.  Then he bolted from Sugarcube Corner.  Somethin’s wrong with Pinkie!  Maybe this madness runs in the family?  Ah gotta hide.  Maybe Rarity can hide me?  Ah just hope she isn’t crazy as well!   Big Mac reached the highly decorated and richly painted building that was Carousel Boutique, home and business of Rarity.  He reached the front door but noticed the sign that read “CLOSED.”  Maybe she’s in back?  He rushed around back and found the door unlocked.  He quickly slipped inside.  He sat down on the floor, resting for a moment.  Cautiously he peered out the window.  No Pinkie Pie!  He turned around and looked at the empty kitchen.  Ah’d better let her know Ah’m here.  I don’t want her to think Ah’m breaking in.  He slowly walked around.  “Rarity?” he called.  He entered her living room, but didn’t see her.  “Rarity?”  He continued on into the boutique.  “Rarity?”  Still no response.  She’s not here.  Well, Ah don’t think she’d mind if Ah hid in here for a while.  He laid down and within minutes was fast asleep.   ~~~   Big Mac woke with a start.  He saw the sun coming in the window and guessed it was probably sometime late morning.  He heard the back door swing open and hoofsteps in the kitchen.  Big Mac sat upright waiting for Rarity, or whom he supposed was Rarity, to enter.   “What’s this?” came Rarity’s voice.  “Did Sweetie Belle and her friends drag mud into my house?  Sweetie Belle!!!”   Uh-oh.  I must have brought mud into her home.  Ah’ll have to clean that up for her.  Ah hope she isn’t too mad.   The door from the kitchen opened, and the white unicorn stood in the doorframe.  “Big Mac?” she asked in surprise.   “Eeyup.”   “What?  Are you hiding in my boutique?”   “Eeyup.”   She approached him.  “So the mud on my floor came from you?”   “Eeyup.”   “You’re an absolute mess.”   “Eeyup.”   “Would you like to take a shower?”   A hot shower?  Get all this mud off me?  “Eeyup.”   “Follow me.”   Rarity led Big Mac from the boutique to the stairs.  She climbed the stairs and Big Mac followed, the stairs creaking under his weight.  They reached the top and Rarity entered what Big Mac figured was the guest bathroom.  Whoosh!  With a quick use of her magic the taps turned and hot water streamed from the shower head, the steam starting to fill the bathroom.   “Take as long as you want,” said Rarity.   “Eeyup.”  Ah sure am glad to have a friend such as Rarity.  Ah’ll have to do somethin special to show my ’preciation.  Why’s she still standing here?  “Uh, Ah think Ah’ll take the shower now.”   “Yes.”   “Uh, if y’all excuse me.”   “I thought I might join you,” she said in a sultry tone.   Oh shit!   “Big Mac,” she purred.  “I’ve always loved the strong silent type.  And you’re the strongest, most silent stallion I’ve ever met.”   “Miss Rarity –”   “It’s fate that led you to me on Hearts and Hooves Day.  Be my special somepony!”   Big Mac pushed by Rarity and made a break for the bathroom door.  In an instant he was levitating in a blue aura.  However, he was heavier than anything she had ever lifted and after a moment her magic faltered.  Thud!  Big Mac slammed onto the floor.  Meanwhile Rarity stood dazed after her overexertion.   Big Mac scrambled up and ran down the stairs and rushed out the front door.  The bright sunshine momentarily blinded him.  He looked around and there were many ponies out at this hour.   “Big Mac?” came a voice from behind him.   He turned, “Miss Cheerilee?”   “Is something amatter my shmoopy-doopy sweetie-weetie pony pie?”   Oh shit!   “Miss Cheerilee!”   “Big Mac!” came another voice.  He turned to see Bon Bon.  “Big Mac what’s... oh, you’re so handsome.”   “Big Mac!” came the voice of Lyra.  “Be my special somepony!”   Lyra was pushed aside by Bon Bon.  “He’s mine!”   Bon Bon was shoved to the ground by Cheerilee.  “I saw him first!”   Within a minute Big Mac was surrounded by a dozen mares.  Earth ponies... unicorns... pegasi... all wanted him and they began fighting one another, throwing punches and kicking each other in the face.   “What’s going on here!?”  Rainbow Dash flew down and landed in front of Big Mac.   Thank Celestia Rainbow Dash is here!   “He’s mine!” came some voices.   “He’s my special somepony!” yelled two mares.   “Big Mac!” screamed other mares.   “He’s my cutie-patootie lovie-dovie honey-bunny!” came a particular voice from the melee.   “Get away from him you crazy mares!” she yelled.  She flew up and threw her forelegs around his neck.  “Haven’t you heard of MacDash!?”   What the F%#@!   Big Mac dashed from the brawl, galloping as fast as he could.  He looked behind him and saw some twenty mares chasing after him, with Rainbow Dash in the lead.  He picked up the pace, pushing himself even harded.  Looking behind, she was gaining on him.  He needed to lose them, and fast.  Big Mac began weaving among the buildings of town.  He doubled back.  He took sharp corners.  Yet everywhere he went the mares were right on his tail.   Up ahead he saw the laboratory.  He made a final sprint and opened the door.  Quickly he slammed the door shut behind him.  Wham!  A pegasus shaped impression formed on the door.  Big Mac breathed a sign of relief.   “What’s going on in here?” asked a brown pony.   “Doc, they’re after me,” replied Big Mac.   “Who’s after you?” asked Dr. Hooves.   Suddenly there came banging on the door and screams of crazy mares.   Dr. Hooves threw himself against the door to keep it shut.  “Quite the holiday, this Hearts and Hooves Day?  Go out the back, I’ll hold them off as long as I can.”   Big Mac slipped out the back and sprinted as fast as he could.  He headed off towards the shimmering castle in the distance.  Maybe this is a magic spell, like Smarty Pants.  In which case there’s one mare Ah need to see!