The Mad Mojavian Adventures of Courier 6 and Pinkie pie

by Edmar Fecler


Chapter 11

Jacks stood at the edge of a tall cliff that overlooked a sprawling canyon with a large city at its bottom. From where he stood he could make out thousands tiny specks moving about the city streets. Small markets and outposts were scattered here and there, and a few military checkpoints could be spotted at some of the intersections. A skyscraper stood above the other buildings at the city’s center. The building was topped with a large flag that showcased an iconic image of a two-headed bear as it flapped in the wind.

Jacks’ focus turned from the grand city to a small box he held under his arm. Wrapped in paper with a few ‘Mojave Express’ stamps and a destination written on its top, it was indistinguishable from any other package. The ground began to quiver and shake under his feet at he stared at the box. A sudden flash prompted him to look back to the cityscape.

The ground around the tall building cracked open, sending pillars of light and flames jetting into the sky. He could see the earth around the building rise from some massive, unseen force. As the light and the flames diminished, the tower and the surrounding buildings were swallowed by the earth. Similar flashes of light and flames from beneath the ground began across the city. Building by building, the city was engulfed with flames and chaos as the ground crumbled and fell into oblivion. A massive crevasse formed, tearing the city in half and revealing what could only be described as the depths of Hell.

Jacks stood steadfast, watching as the city was ripped apart by earth and fire. The ground beneath him shook with a terrible might and the wind began cutting into his face with sand and debris, yet he stood. How many times had he witnessed these events, and how many more were yet to come? He couldn’t say. The screaming and sirens began to die down as the wind became polluted with smoke, blocking his view.

The stoic expression on his face remained unchanged as he looked back to the package. He held his gaze for a moment before tossing it off the cliff. Time seemed to lose meaning as the smoke and dust thickened around him. After what felt like an eternity, he took a step forward to join the city in oblivion.

-

Jacks’ eyes shot open, flooding his retinas with light. It felt as though he was lying in a veritable puddle of sweat. He took a moment to let the dizziness subside before sitting up. As his senses returned he began taking note of his surroundings. One of the walls was broken away, having been replaced by a thick sheet of glass. A bemused NCR trooper stood guard in the adjacent room. He concluded that he was in Camp Mccarran’s interrogation room.

“Jackie, you’re awake! You were beginning to worry me,” chimed a familiar, high-pitched voice.

“Thanks, I hadn’t noticed,” Jacks said with a sigh. He pinched his brown and tried to settle his thoughts. “Sorry… had some bad dreams.”

“I don’t suppose that would be remorse for all the Legion you’re murdered,” someone grunted in a deep voice.

Jacks’ gaze shot up to see who was talking. A Legionary wearing a suit of Centurion armor sat in the room’s only chair, glaring at him angrily. Jacks reached for his .44 Magnum, but the Centurion cut him off.

“Don’t bother. They took your weapons before tossing you and your damnable companion in here.”

“Worth a shot,” Jacks said with a sigh. He looked over to where Pinkie sat. “Where’s ED-E?”

“They took him to a standard cell. Something about hacking doors open, I think,” Pinkie replied, touching a hoof to her chin in curiosity. “But it’s nice to see you’re okay! You’ve been out for a while.”

“How long?”

“It’s been about nine hundred seventy-three days. But don’t worry; I don’t think too many people have forgotten about you.”

What?!

“The filthy creature lies,” the Centurion replied with a snarl. “It’s been hardly more than an hour since they brought you here.”

“Why do you have to be such a stick in the mud? Come on, lighten up and have a laugh,” Pinkie insisted as she walked over to the man. Crossing his arms seemed to the only thing he could do to avoid punching the insufferable creature.

Jacks shrugged off the joke and stretched his arms. “So, what’ve I missed?”

“Well~” Pinkie began in a pleasant tone, “Our friend here, Silus, was kind enough to tell me all about the Legion. They sound like a bunch of meanies that should be wiped off the face of the planet, but I’m not one to judge. Oh, did you know that Caesar… wait, is it pronounced Caesar or Caesar?”

“I prefer Caesar to be honest,” Jacks replied “But please, continue.”

“Okie doke. So, did you know that Caesar is really sick, and that it seems to be affecting his decision making?”

“Interesting. That should prove to be a point of interest in the future. Anything else?”

“Let’s see… Oh! Theres also a Legion spy somewhere on the base! Silus doesn’t know who it is, but he does know that they send reports via radio periodically.”

“Well that all is some very good things to know,” Jacks said cheekily as a grin spread across his face. “Silus, was it? Tell me friend, why the sudden act of good faith? I don’t suppose it would be remorse from all the NCR you’ve murdered, would it?”

Silus was practically beside himself with anger. Only his steadfast training as a Centurion and his will to live kept him from beating his cellmates to death. It took him a moment to calm down enough to speak. “No, fool,” He seethed through clenched teeth, “The only reason I have been so forthcoming was to silence your creature. Its incessant rambling was making me wish I had killed myself with the rest of my men.”

Jacks gasp sarcastically. “Pinkie! How could you get such a proud member of Caesar’s Legion to be so open with information? Don’t you know their lips are sealed tighter than a deathclaw’s puss-” He stopped abruptly, jumping to a dead serious tone. “Actually, forget I said that.”

Pinkie bit her lower lip to hold back her laughter. “W-well, all I had to do was tell him I would stop talking if he answered my questions, and ta-da!”

“Certainly sounds like an effective method interrogation. I’ll have to remember that.” Jacks shuffled over to the wall so he could lean back. “So, joking aside, why didn’t you kill yourself like other Legionaries?”

“Ask your pet. I’ve told it everything I have to say, and I’m not going to repeat myself to the likes of you.”

Jacks noticed a female officer entering the adjacent room. “Actually, looks like story time may have to wait. I think we have company.”

The door to their cell hissed and clanked as the multiple locks retracted, allowing the door to retract into the floor. The officer stepped into the room and pointed to Jacks. “Get up. I have orders to bring you to Colonel Hsu’s office as soon as you were awake. Bring your… pet, too.”

“Well good morning to you too, Lt. Boyd,” Jacks said as he used the wall to help stand up.

“Oh, and don’t worry,” she continued, turning to Silus, “I’ll be back to finish our little ‘conversation’ later.”

The Centurion eyed Boyd angrily as she turned to leave the room. Pinkie gleefully bounced past Jacks as she exited, and for a second he thought he heard a high-pitches springing noise. He shrugged the strange sound off, seeing it as just another instance of ‘don’t look too deeply into the logic behind a talking alien pony.’ As he left the room he looked back to Silus.

“Be seeing you, friend,” Jacks said cheerily as the door closed behind him. He took a few long steps to catch back up to Pinkie’s side. She didn’t notice however, as her full attention was directed toward the fighter jet that hung from the lobby’s ceiling. The complete awe plastered across her face couldn’t help but make him chuckle.

The three of them walked in relative silence down the broken escalators, though they seemed to be catching plenty of odd glances from the troops. Some of them were whispering amongst themselves in hushed tones, while others simply stared. Normally Jacks didn’t like so much attention from soldiers, allowing for some leniency in his behavior. Unfortunately such looks were unavoidable, given the nature of his current company.

“Alright,” Boyd said as she stopped in front of the colonel’s office door. “Don’t cause any trouble, or there’ll be hell to pay. But I suppose you already knew that, didn’t you?”

Jacks shrugged. “Guilty as charged. By the way, don’t bother trying to get anything else out of Silus. He already spilled his guts to my friend here.”

Pinkie looked up and smiled at the lieutenant. “Metaphorically speaking of course.”

“I find that… hard to believe,” Boyd replied bluntly.

“Suit yourself. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some important business to discuss with the Colonel,” Jacks concluded as he opened the door to Hsu’s office. He held it open for Pinkie before stepping in behind her.

Boyd rolled her eyes as the door shut behind them. She appreciated how Jacks was helping the NCR, and she even envied how he could skirt around many of the rules that restricted officers like her. However, she had to admit his arrogance was rather off-putting at times. Well… that and the fact that he smelled like a rotting corpse. On the bright side, he was Hsu’s problem now.