Big Mac slowly opened his eyes. He looked out his window upon the darkened landscape of Sweet Apple Acres. In the distance he saw the sky bright in the east, though Celestia’s golden sun still remained hidden by the rolling hills. Ignoring his urge to get up, he rolled onto his back and started to reflect.
It’s Hearts and Hooves Day. A day to spend with your special somepony. Except Ah don’t have a special somepony. Last year Apple Bloom and her friends tried to set me up with Miss Cheerilee. Gave me that love potion. Wonder if they’ll try that again this year. They’d better not. Ah don’t want to go around making a fool of maself again. And Miss Cheerilee wouldn’t want that either. Nope, Ah just want a quiet day on the farm to get my chores done.
The sun peeked over the horizon. The tiny bit of sunshine began driving back the night, illuminating the hundreds of apple trees and the farm buildings of Sweet Apple Acres. Big Mac noticed the sunlight on his wall.
Well, ain’t no more procrastinating. Time to get up. Big Mac pulled off the warm covers and rolled out of his bed. Thud! Four hooves pounded against the wooden floor. Big Mac lumbered across his bedroom and down the hall. He began to descend the stairs, each creaking under his weight. One of these days, these stairs are gonna give way. Ah’d better fix them before somepony, most likely me, gets hurt. As Big Mac neared the bottom of the stairs, he could see the distinctive pink bow of his youngest sister, Apple Bloom.
“Good mornin’ Big Mac,” she said.
“Mornin’ Apple Bloom,” he replied.
She trotted over to Big Mac. “Big Mac, today is Hearts and Hooves Day....”
Uh-oh. Is she goin’ to try and set me up with Miss Cheerilee again?
“...And I was wonderin’,” continued Apple Bloom as she walked up to Big Mac, “if you would be my very special somepony?” She produced the biggest eyes and poutiest lips Big Mac had ever seen.
Ah, she looks so cute. How could I resist a face like that?
“Eeyup.”
Instantly her mouth cracked the biggest smile Big Mac had ever seen her give, and she leapt up and gave him a big kiss on his cheek. Big Mac felt a deep happiness inside. After the kiss, Apple Bloom continued to hang off the left side of his horse collar.
She’ll let go once we all start havin’ breakfast.
Big Mac walked into the farmhouse’s rustic kitchen. Applejack had her back to the two as she busied herself preparing the family’s breakfast. Big Mac sat down at the kitchen table, Apple Bloom continuing to cling to his horse collar. Taking a momentary pause in cooking, Applejack turned to greet the two. “Morning Big – Apple Bloom, what in tarnation are ya doin’?” She trotted over to towards the table.
“Big Mac is my very special somepony.”
She came up to Big Mac’s right side. “Well, that there’s the most ridiculous....”
Applejack, Ah can’t believe –
“...thin Ah’ve ever heard. He’s my special somepony!” She yanked Big Mac over by the horse collar and planted a big kiss on his cheek.
What the hay?
“No big sis,” argued Apple Bloom, doing her best to yank Big Mac her way. “I asked him first.”
“Well I’m the bigger sister.” Applejack yanked Big Mac her way.
“He already said he’d be my special somepony.” Apple Bloom yanked Big Mac her way.
“Well, that’s 'cause he hadn’t had a chance to ask me yet.” Applejack yanked Big Mac her way.
“What’s goin’ on in here?” Granny Smith entered the kitchen.
“Big Mac is my special somepony!” said Apple Bloom.
“No, he’s my special somepony!” countered Applejack.
“Is not!”
“Is too!”
Granny Smith walked over to her three grandfoals. “You two knock it off. He ain’t neither of ya’s special somepony.” She paused to emphasize her point. “He’s mine!” She grabbed his horse collar by both hooves and yanked him forward to plant a kiss on his lips.
What the F%#@!
The three continued arguing and yanking Big Mac in their directions. By this point Big Mac was thoroughly confused.
What’s wrong with them? Stallions joke about crazy mares, but this? My own kin? What should Ah say? What can Ah do?
The three mares were hitting each other with their hooves, with a few missed swings hitting Big Mac.
Ah need to get out of here until Ah can figure out what’s goin’ on. But Apple Bloom is still hangin’ on to –
A powerful punch from Applejack dislodged Apple Bloom and she fell onto her flank.
Well, that works. Now’s ma chance!
Big Mac pushed Granny Smith and Applejack onto their flanks. Quickly he pushed Apple Bloom back before she could reattach herself to his horse collar. He bounded out the back door and sprinted across the yard. He raced into the barn and slammed the door shut. He placed the wooden bar across the door to keep it shut.
Now what?
Bang! Bang!
The three mares were pounding on the barn door. Even behind the thick wooden door Big Mac could tell the three apart. There were the quick, wild bangs of Apple Bloom; the powerful, precise kicks of Applejack; and the weak, but constant hits of Granny Smith. He looked and saw the wooden bar bending and straining to keep from breaking.
Whatever Ah do, Ah’d better do it quick!
Looking around, he saw the stairs to the apple cellar. He rushed down the stairs into the dark basement, trying to determine his next action. He saw light at the other side of the cellar. He made his way past all the baskets of apples and reached the open door. He rushed up the stairs and flung open the cellar doors. He looked around and thankfully realized he came out behind the barn.
Bang-Crack-Thunk!
Big Mac realized that the three mares had broken through the barn door and it would only be a moment before they descended the stairs, crossed the cellar, and saw him standing in the cellar door. He took off as fast as he could to the apple orchards, hoping to lose them. Apple trees as far as the eye could see. Surely he could escape them in here?
Yip! Yip!
Oh, no! They got Winona trackin’ me down! Now what? The stream!
Big Mac rushed to the stream that cut through Sweet Apple Acres. Without hesitation he leapt into the freezing water, praying that Winona would lose his scent. He splashed down the creek as fast as he could. He hoped the high banks, brush, and rolling terrain would conceal him from his three rampaging family members. If only he could make it to Ponyville....