//------------------------------// // Chapter 6: Advice // Story: Red Vs Blue: Epsilon in Equestria // by The Sentient Cloud //------------------------------// The UNSC Archives: “What the fuck happened back there?!” Carolina shouted, gesturing at the main entry to the archives. “What do you think fucking happened?” Grif spat out, clutching his knee. “You dropped it.” Carolina’s voice was laced with venom. “I got shot!” “You were walking! Why were you walking?!” “Because I was tired, Einstein.” Grif retorted, apparently blind to the danger each word was placing him in. “Carolina.” Washington stepped between them. “Calm down.” “What-“ "I’ve got first dibs.” He reminded her. “Yeah!” Grif agreed readily. “Wait, wha-” Washington turned, bringing up his knee, into Grif’s groin. “Agh!” His victim cried out, cringing over and grasping at the injured region, even as Wash drew his leg back, and then used his foot to kick Grif in the leg. Grif shouted again as he dropped to the ground, while Washington turned back to Carolina. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.” He muttered, before once again turning to Griff. “You lost Epsilon. You need to go get it.” “Go get it? Are you crazy?” Grif grunted, still grasping his codpiece, rolling from side to side on the ground. “I hate to agree with him, but Grif’s right.” Simmons interjected. “There’s no way he can sneak back in there to get the unit. Fucking idiot.” He aimed the last two words at the orange soldier on the ground. Carolina sighed, taking a step away. “Okay then. Options?” *** Ponyville Library: Church looked around as he entered the Library, trusting his legs to walk on their own for a little while. “Huh. A Library.” Church couldn’t remember the last time he had actually read something. “Yeah.” Twilight said, coming up to stand next to him. “I’m Ponyville’s Librarian.” “Ponyville?” Church raised an eyebrow. “Your kidding, right?” “Nope!” Twilight grinned – quickly stopping when Church didn’t return the smile. He gave her a flat look. “Listen, can you just show me to my room?” “What’s the rush?” Church gave Twilight another flat look. “I want to be alone.” “Oh… Okay.” Any hint of cheerfulness in Twilight’s face disappeared. “Sure.” She led him across the main room, up a staircase set flush with the wall. “This is where I sleep.” She noted conversationally as they passed the ‘loft’ bedroom, and then carried on up the staircase, towards a door set up near the ceiling. Twilight pushed the door open and motioned for Church to go inside. He nodded, walking through the archway, into a room holding a large window – with a well sized telescope pointing through it. Against the other wall was a double bed, taking up most of the space in the small room, with the only other furniture a wooden chair over by the telescope, and a dresser beside the bed. Why there was a dresser when no-one wore clothes, Church didn’t know. “I know that it’s small-” “It’s fine.” Church cut her off. “Oh. Good.” They were both quiet for a moment, before Twilight realized that Church was pointedly staring at her. She gave a nervous chuckle. “Right. Alone.” He nodded once, watching as she backed out and closed the door, before turning to the window, and taking a look out. The view wasn’t spectacular – obscured by the telescope that took up a large amount of the window, but he could see a few of the buildings surrounding the library. “Ponyville. A town filled with Ponies.” He muttered, shaking his head. Why would the Epsilon Unit EVER simulate a world like this? Wasn’t it meant to be for memories? With a dejected sigh, Church flopped down onto the bed. *** Twilight gave a little sigh as she descended back to the ground floor of the library to meet with spike as he emerged from the basement with a feather duster.. “Is he any friendlier?” Spike asked, starting to dust the shelves. “Well, he certainly isn’t a talker.” Twilight looked exasperated. “At least he likes the room.” “He does?” “He hasn't said that he doesn't.” Twilight replied with an edge of annoyance. “As far as I can tell, that’s good.” “He sounds like a jerk.” Spike muttered, wondering why he had bothered dusting for such an ungracious guest. “Oh…” Twilight’s annoyance turned to confusion. “He’s just… disorientated – I think. Nopony can stay this bitter for long.” Spike looked over his shoulder at Twilight, raising an eyebrow. Ignoring him, Twilight started trotting to the door. “I’m going to go talk to the girls. If Church comes out of his room, just… hide. Judging by the way he’s been reacting to everypony, I think seeing a dragon might drive him nuts.” She rolled her eyes jokingly, while Spike’s face turned to one of confusion and concern. “Remind me again why we’re letting a pony that doesn’t know that he’s a pony stay here?” Twilight shot him a flat look, before opening the front door and trotting out, leaving spike to his cleaning. *** Carousel Boutique: “Well if you ask me, it sounds enthralling.” Rarity mused, staring at the dress she was creating. “He sounds so troubled, and mysterious.” She turned to Twilight. “It would make a divine story.” Twilight smiled weakly. What had she been thinking? Of course Rarity wasn’t the best pony to talk to about Church. “Well, he never says ‘please’ or ‘thanks’, and his language is a little… coarse.” “Oh, I noticed back in the hospital.” Rarity’s smile briefly turned to a frown as she turned back to her dress levitated a spool of blue thread and a needle from across the room. “Coarse language. Not exactly story book material, but it does add to the drama. Personally, I’m dying to find out more about this strange stallion and his mysterious past. We simply must have a get together at some point.” Twilight smiled weakly. “I don’t think Church is the kind of pony that does that sort of thing. “Nonsense.” Rarity tutted, carefully sewing a new square of fabric onto the dress and then calling a pair of scissors from across the room. “Who can’t resist a nice soiree?” Twilight smile weakened even more as she decided that coming here was a bad idea. “Well, thanks for the advice, Rarity.” She edged towards the door. “But I can see that you’re very busy. Maybe I’ll go talk to Applejack.” “Yes, of course dear.” Rarity finally turned around. “I’ll talk to you later, after this order is finished. “Right.” Twilight gave a nod, and then trotted out the front door. Rarity turned back to her dress. “Hmm… ‘The Unicorn That fell From The Sky.’ That would make a wonderful story.” *** Sweet Apple Acres: “So wha’ do you think ‘bout ‘im?” Applejack asked, “I don’t know.” Twilight replied, watching as Applejack moved closer to one tree and bucked it. “He doesn’t seem dangerous, but I don’t really know anything about him.” “Well…” Applejack tugged at her hat as Twilight started picking up loose apples from the ground with her magic. “Ah don’t know much ‘bout… understandin’ ponies. Rarity always seemed to be better at that.” Twilight scoffed quietly, drawing a curious glance from Applejack “Sorry. I was just talking to Rarity. All she cared about was how ‘dramatic’ Church seems.” “Yep. That’s Rarity for ya.” Applejack – with the help of twilight’s magic – started pushing the apple baskets to the next tree. “And that’s why I came to you. Pinkie is… Pinkie, Dash is still against the entire thing, and Fluttershy…” “Yep.” Applejack bucked the tree. “Sorry ah can’t be more help, but ah’m not really good with this sorta stuff. What’d the Princess say?” Twilight frowned. “Uh… She said that she was busy, and that I should deal with this myself until she can check in.” Applejack shrugged. “Ah guess we’ll just hafta wait.” “I guess.” Twilight turned to look at Ponyville. ‘But what are we meant to do while we wait?’ *** Ponyville Library: Church cracked an eye open, surprised that he had actually fallen asleep, even if it had just been for a short while. With an irritated sigh, he rolled onto the floor, once again wondering what the hell was going outside the unit. He glanced out the window, confirming that the sun had only moved a short distance since he had fallen asleep. Church needed something to do. Something interesting to keep himself preoccupied until he could leave. Quietly, Church shifted over to the door, awkwardly grasping the handle with both of his front hoofs and pulling. With a creak that made Church cringe, the door swung towards him, and he stepped out onto the small balcony with its view of the library bellow. He slowly made his way down the stairs, taking the steps one at a time. Walking was confusing enough – but stairs were actually terrifying. Over the course of two minutes, Church descended down to the ‘loft’ and then the ground floor. Looking around, Church realised that he was in a library, and if there was any better time to learn about where he was, it was now. “Well.” Church muttered, walking over to a large book marked with the word ‘Index’. “When I woke up today, I didn’t think I would be spending my day doing… this.”