Pinkie Loves Bacon Bits
An absurd Derpibooru-inspired story.
...and now a Seraphimus-(badly)inspired crossover...
Twilight rubbed the sleep out of the corners of her eyes, her glasses held in one hand while she shuffled into the bathroom at Sunset's home. It was close to midnight, and Sunset had only recently made it in from a late shift at her new job and was currently in the shower, making the room warm and humid. Twilight made it to the toilet mostly by touch and familiarity with the room's layout before dropping her glasses back in place and lifting the seat.
It was only after she'd also lifted her night shirt out of the way and reached down to free herself from her panties that she noticed a third presence in the bathroom with them. Standing just outside the shower stall, was a small, dog-sized, aggressively pink pony. The pony had a big poofy mane and tail and was rearing up on its hind hooves while it somehow brandished an obviously fake halloween costume prop of a butcher knife in its forehoof. Bright blue eyes blinked up at Twilight, a stunned look on the pony's face.
Apparently, she'd interrupted...something. "Uh...Sunset?"
"Oh thank god! Twilight, please…please, tell me you see a little pink pony in here too."
Sunset sounded uncharacteristically distressed - but Twilight imagined - from Sunset's perspective, the pony must look like one of those old horror movie scary silhouettes, what with the raised knife and all. Twilight swallowed and nodded before realizing that Sunset couldn't see her. "Uh, yeah. Where did-?"
"Don't worry about that now!" Sunset shouted from under the spray. "Just do something! Get it to leave, vanish, whatever! I can't take this anymore!"
The pony continued to stand there, frozen in place, staring at Twilight. Twilight opened her mouth to ask what she should do in this situation, but she was pulling a blank. Despite the unusual circumstances, her bladder was eating up most of her attention, making her face off with the tiny apparition even more uncomfortable. Then, an idea occurred to her. An awful idea, but it was an idea nonetheless.
Twilight locked eyes with the pink equine invader, staring intensely back into those blue eyes. By feel and years of practice, Twilight worked her thumb into the band of her underwear and hooked it down enough to withdraw her penis. She maintained the stare, daring the pony to move first. To look away. She grabbed her dick and pointed it into the bowl, from there, she let nature and gravity do the rest. The relief was immediate and immense. So was the effect.
The pony locked up even more, its body starting to shake from the strain of holding its pose and the added stress of meeting Twilight's challenge. Those big eyes widened at the sight of Twilight's anatomy, then they started to tear up when she began to pee. To the foreign equine's credit, she held the eye contact for most of the prolonged wee-session. Almost. Before the last drops left Twilight, the pony dropped the costume prop knife and settled back onto all fours. Her stare became a glare and she snorted at Twilight in frustration before throwing her bouncy mane back in a huff and marching out of the bathroom with her head held high.
Twilight sighed contently once she was done and the weird animal-shaped shared hallucination was gone. "She...it...it's gone now, Sunset."
"Oh my god, thank you, Twilight! I could kiss you!"
"Well, I'll be in the bed if you still want to after you're dried off. I might even have convinced myself this was all a bad dream by then." Twilight lowered the lid on the toilet, her fingers sliding lightly over the flush handle. She let it be. Sunset could deal with it when she got out. "See you in a bit, I guess."
"Better you than that pink...thing."
"Why did it have hair like Pinkie Pie?"
"I try not to think about things I don't really want the answers to."
Twilight scratched her head and yawned. "Yeah...that sounds like a good policy..."