Well well well. You're lucky the world you oversee took a nice long pause. Discord mused as he entered a familiar small white room now decorated with collectables, skis, and a newly filled book shelf.
A familiar white and brown corgi began to hop up and down and incessantly bark at him which made the chaos god smile.
Yeah? And what's it to you mister I'm gonna leave Canterlot while a mad man and his super hot broken unicorn waifu tears apart the city? A somewhat familiar man asked as he moved his fingers like a puppeteer over a wall sized screen depicting a thousand pictures of a gorgeously fierce unicorn in black armor.
New obsession? You should really get back to writing for a living instead of gaining weight and growing a beard.
Not funny you homunculus cum sprite. I've been busy working three jobs and looking at the new roster of characters from the princesses newest adventures to add to the play.
And you think your fans are going to just sit idly by with their cocks in hands waiting for the grand culmination of a pony and Irish mans union?
The man sighed and tossed a wet sock into the God of Chaos' face.
Guess not. Well spectral readers from the omniverse just to let you know this is gonna be filthy, swank, filled with panash and other theatrical words for smut. Enjoy it because the next few chapters are nothing but Dark Souls and feelings.
THE GRAND RETURN OF PONY POON AND IRISH DRUNKEN SHENANIGANS
Lyra Heartstrings was no longer impressed. A bright flash of white light at the edge of the Everfree forest, though would normally cause the cynical mare to run over to investigate, instead drew out a long sigh and an eye-roll as the turquoise unicorn slowly trotted to the source all the while grumbling a mix of obscenities and annoyances. She cleared the trees and crossed over a bush as a series of high pitched cursing and definite girlish screams echoed through the forest.
"Calm the hell down! This is not the weirdest thing you've ever seen!" Came a cry that was followed with a chatter.
"Says you! You're a ferret familiar from my world remember? I made sure you were completely void of humanity before I took you in and why in the hells do you sound like a girl?" Came a voice that slightly reminded the mare of a foul mouthed alien she knew.
Lyra poked her head through a bush and watched as another "human" conversed with a small weasel wearing a tiny coat. Her eyes widened as the man seemed to slap his head and continue his rant at the poor woodland creature. The man seemed to continue staring at the weasel with an exasperated series of hand waves and head banging which almost elicited a giggle from the unicorn. His coat was long, black, and hung down to his legs. Strangely enough there were red spots on the lapels and the sleeves which she assumed came from the bruises on his face. His short brown mane was flowing as he shook his head and stomped about but the distinct lack of fur on his face made her make a mental note that not all humans had the same appearance as her friend.
"And you! Venite." He yelled with a twist of his hand.
Lyra yelped as she felt the distinct feeling of magic envelope her body and pulled her through the brush and up to the eye level of the human. His bright blue eyes looked her up and down and a groan came from him as his hand slapped at his forehead.
"You have to be fucking kidding me. So the bell was broken!"
The weasel looked to Lyra with a shake of its head and stuck a tiny finger out at the man.
"The bell wasn't broken! It worked perfectly fine until you cast a sixth tier incantation and tried to auction talk it!"
The man groaned loudly and looked back to Lyra with a grimace as he set her back on the ground. She sat on her haunches completely unable to speak as she stared.
"D-did you just use magic?" She managed to whisper as she felt a smile begin to form on her lips.
The human rolled his eyes and snapped his fingers, pointing at a stump near him as he did.
"Ligna Imperium. Yes. I assume in your plain humans can't then?" He muttered back as the stump shifted and contorted into a crude chair.
Lyra stared and continued to try and form a question out of a million running through her head. Finally with a quick shake she settled on answering the question presented to her before asking one of her own.
"Aside from Killian you're the only other human I've seen." She responded as the human stood and began drawing a strange circular diagram in the ground. "What um... what are you doing?"
The human stood back and grabbed the weasel on the rock next to him.
"Going home, this plane is way to colorful for me." He stated as he extended his hands over the circle.
Lyra could only watch with a gasp as the ground began to shake and the air itself began to feel hot while the human chanted.
"I am power made manifest, my word is absolute. Ignis lux, lapis-lapis porta caeli exist!" He roared as light burst from the diagram blinding the unicorn.
A resounding bang louder than a sonic rainboom shook the unicorn to her core as another girlish scream passed her and a loud thump alerted her that the spell obviously hadn't worked.
"What the hell kind spell was that!" She yelled as she shook her head and saw the man in a crumpled heap against a tree.
The man merely grumbled and reached up to rub at the back of his head. A dark circle had been singed into the ground and the little furry companion to the human spit forth a slur of expletives that almost made the unicorn blush. His hand went back to sweep the hair from his face as he began to pace around the singe mark over and over looking over his work only to start drawing a rune once more.
"Great job master enchanter! What a glorious way to get my fur all bristled" The ferret yelled out as its tiny paws worked to smooth out its tail.
"I don't get it. There must be a ley line crossing this world blocking off my portal magic. Perhaps the bell acted as a battering ram and broke the door down before it closed again." The man began to speak quietly as he looked around the area.
"Well la-di-da so now I'm stuck here with the sudden realization that I can think for myself with you and this... this..." The ferret paused and raced up to sit on Lyras back.
"What are you again dear?"
Lyra had trouble forming words as she tried to process the raw power she had just faced. This human had power that bordered alicorn levels and yet he seemed as if it meant nothing to him. Was Killian the same?
"Lyra. Lyra Heart Strings."
"Well I'm Gwynn the fire ferret. That over there in the blood splattered coat is my master Manchester Black. Arcane Enchanter of Terra Sigma."
Lyra looked back to the man as he rubbed the back of his neck and approached patting Lyra on the head before flicking her ears.
"Mr. Black will suffice for now." He began as Gwynn raced up his sleeve and onto his shoulder. "Now I can see We're in a world with magical power and talking horses-" He wasn't able to finish his thought as Lyra smashed him right in the gut with a well aimed hoof.
"Don't ever. call me that... AGAIN."
Manchester tried hard to catch his breath while raising a hand to incinerate the abomination in front of him until a voice deep and menacing called from behind him.
"Well well Mister Black. Did you think the true king of thorns and darkness would fall prey to your silly attempt at banishment!?"
All eyes turned to see not a single thing that could produce such a voice. Of course it was Gwynn that looked downwards and saw what exactly was speaking to them. Sure enough even Lyra had to look down to see a tiny pudgy creature wearing a suit staring up at them with red glowing orbs as eyes. The head was that of a skull and its tiny claws pointed up at Manchester as it laughed maniacally in a sadly heightening tone of voice.
"Thorn?" Manchester asked with a growing grin and a chuckle.
"YES BEHOLD MORTAL HOW NOT EVEN A SIXTH LEVEL INCANTATION CAN HOLD ME BACK FROM THE GLORY that is... that is... Why are you all so big?"
It was at that moment that Lyra began to laugh and promptly pass out.
The Train Car that Oddly but Unsurprisingly smells of sex
Is it Time?
Oh yes it was about to be time.
The staff running around my north command frantically sent messages to load another round into south commands silo. I was about to go full feckin bore and this poor pony was about to get a cream filling to rival any wankers twinkie factory any day.
"Pony, its what's for dinner."
Maire smiled devilishly at me and licked her lips while wiggling her rump in the most alluring and dangerous fashion.
"No human was dinner. Now comes desserts."
Oh she was bad. So bad that I was controlling the urge to spout more puns, more quips, a never ending stream of amazing banter before filling her up with my cornish meat stick.Well thinking of words better to describe my tackle were hard to come by.
HARD to CUM by
Thanks brain. you did it again.
"KILLIAN DISCORD DISAPPEARED AND A SETTLEMENT NEAR VALE NEEDS OUR HELP!"
Celestia materialized in the center of the room a foot or so away from my aching tool and Maires sweet pony treasure. I was done. nope. no more excuses. no more nice guy. NOTHING BUT THE FLAMING FURY OF MY ROCK HARD IRISH MADNESS!!!
"Oh can I watch?" Celestia immediately asked as she smiled widely at my face which I was sure was filled with rage and malice.
I slowly pulled my hands up from the ground with a sigh to pull my pants back up before a magical grasp grabbed hold of my hair and pulled down. Maire had her fiery eyes on me and her teeth bared in a way that reminded me of, well, me.
"Rut me. NOW."
I was back in the game. With a coy grin Celestia was immediately seated laying on her side using a cushion she had somehow poofed into existence. An elegant white wing draped over her side teasingly and with a nod I could get the feeling she was egging me on.
"You know my little human. A long time ago my sister and I would have hordes of pursuers show us their talents on mares in rooms filled with unscrupulous acts of depravity. It was... glorious." At the word glorious Celestia let out a light teasing moan with a wink in my direction.
Maire. Thoughts on Maire. You're going to bone Maire.
Wow wonder how a sun goddess ass would feel?
"Well why don't you finish her off then you can see for yourself?"
"ME FIRST."
Right. Maire. Maire. Jesus Guinness and Doyles she was looking at me with fire in her eyes. The fierceness gave way to bashfulness as she let her eyes wander down to my cock which slowly teased the soaked entrance to her treasure. Her teeth chewed on her lower lip enough to change the color of the skin which spurred me on to greater heights of desires. The first inch itself was unbearably tight and hot. I had never even felt something so tight that stars popped into my vision as my hands clutched her hips enough to make her squeak.
"K-killian."
"Yeah love?"
Love huh? That rolls off the tongue really well.
Maire locked eyes on mine and her chin dug into the tuft of fur beneath her neck as she reached up to pull me down.
"I want you inside of me."
I was far beyond thinking otherwise. The sliding motion of my hips drew a long and sexy hiss from the unicorn pinned beneath me. I saw stars as every inch was taken in the tightest, softest, and all in all eye opening... well... opening. I managed to hilt as our hips connected and I heard Maire mewl with satisfaction.
"Killian... why did you stop?"
My eyes must have been saucers that were rolling into my thick skull.
"I think I'm experiencing ego death." I managed to rasp as I felt her tighten and massage my aching and ready to go rocket.
Maire stared at me with half lidded eyes and sweat dripping from her mane as she shook her head gently.
"What?"
Tightening. Massaging. Feck. So good. God Damn.
"Oh you know just a complete loss of subjective self-identity." I moaned as the stars swirled into fractal forms unseen by mankind.
Maire began to slowly moan and beg me to continue as she slowly thrust back and forth along my red rod of pleasure. Feck me and high heaven I was starting to see my self fly away from my body and watch the scene like some kind of ego driven sex fiend. I could see my own hands grip the unicorn and thrust greedily inside of her as my face was contorted in the most unattractive O face.
Is that what I look like when I feck? Damn it all that's horrifying.
"Killian, F-faust above you feel amazing." Maire slowly cooed as a hoof made its way to her clit, massaging it while treating my shaft to a soft and furry sensation that graced me every-time I pulled out only to slam back in against the grain of her fur.
"Guaahheheh." Was the only sound that escaped my mouth.
Feck it all I sound like Goofy.
The churning in my balls alerted me to my impending and sadly quick release for Maire. Surely I wasn't about to finish so quickly?
"Go on my little human, fill her up with your cum, make her your naughtly little Whorse..." Celestia whispered heatedly as her eyes locked on mine, a hoof doing something surely lewd beneath her wing that covered such a sight from my divine eyes.
"P-please, not inside!" Maire unconvincingly cried out as a fierce red blush crept over her face.
I know this game and god damn I'm gonna lose. HARD.
I felt a presence behind me and soon enough two great white wings extended over my arms. Celestia took her left wing and traced lines of fire across my chest and down my arm as another reached down and traced over Maires exposed button. Maires eyes widened as she watched Celestia rest her head over my shoulder to trace her tongue across my neck.
"Good boy, go on then, I want to see you fill her up." She whispered as she nibbled at my collarbone.
"FECKINJIMMYANDDOYLES!"
"Killian no! I-I c-can't take it all!" Maire cried out as she buried her muzzle into the front of her chest fluff never once breaking eye contact with me.
"Do it, let the pleasure flow through you." Celestia cooed once more as she made sure my eyes saw her slip one of her pinions into Maire along the front of my shaft.
Oh shit that did it.
The feeling of Maires fluffy pony poon engrossing my pointy pole piqued my pleasure to... of feck it. I came. HARD. My entire body seized up and stars once again flooded my vision as I picked Maire up to get into her as far as I could. Between her shrieking from her climax and Celestia cooing in my ear as her feather continued to do unholy maneuvers inside Maire I must have borrowed cum from every bloke in the universe. Like a spirit bomb of cum I felt Maire go into shock each wave splashing out of her and onto me. AS the final blows of my orgasm left my body I fell backwards and with a surprised squeel I soon found Maire on my chest and me laying on Celestia as she wrapped her wings around us.
"Well... That was a long time cumming" Sun horse whispered as she licked my neck.
"Wanna do that again?"
I smiled sweetly, held Maire as tight as I could, and blacked out.