//------------------------------// // Acadigest // Story: Unfriendly Competition // by FanOfMostEverything //------------------------------// The meet-and-greet eventually wound down despite Pinkie Pie's numerous attempts to overload the mainspring. The Wondercolts all went to their assorted homes, with most Shadowbolts getting back on the buses to follow suit. The Crystal Prep competitors, however, had rooms waiting for them at the Canterlot Mareiot. "We cannot allow some chance mechanical failure to disrupt the Friendship Games," Principal Cinch had told them on the way out of the city. "They cannot be delayed any further, and I will not see Crystal Prep responsible for their outright cancellation. Thus, we must account for all contingencies. If need be, we shall walk back to Canterlot High." Some of the competitors dreamt no differently that night than any other. Pokey Pierce, who never had officially changed his name, dreamt of respect and relevance among his peers. Jet Set and Upper Crust dreamt of vast wealth, each other and enjoying the former with the latter. Suri Polomare dreamt of fame, though not the designs that might have given it to her. Other dreams were more unusual. ————— The central temple of Zapopolis towered above the rest of the city, thirty cubits in height. A rainbow of loincloth-clad, adoring slaves chanted the god-queen's praises. One fanned her and another fed her peeled grapes as she lounged atop her divine divan. "Most Excellent One." The voice of another servant roused her from her pleasant haze. "We have captured those who displeased you." "Excellent," said Indigo Zap. "Bring them forward." The three shuffled forward, wrists bound and eyes wide. Indigo had allowed them to keep their tunics. Naked awe was so much more rewarding than naked skin. "You, imitation," she said, pointing at the blue one. "You will serve as my new footstool." "Yes," breathed the captive, shame and anticipation blending until even she could not tell where one ended and another began. Once Indigo's new furniture had assumed its new role, she gestured at the others, purple and orange. "Traitor, pretender. Lick my feet." ————— "You can't possibly believe that!" cried the bespectacled girl. The lout gave a porcine snort. "Look, if you're so ignorant that you really think we landed on the moon, I have nothing more to say to you." "Hey," said Sugarcoat. "Your ignorance is showing." The lout looked about himself frantically. "Where?" The girl beamed at Sugarcoat. The way her pale skin couldn't decide if it was purple or yellow was entirely unremarkable in the haze of dream logic. ————— One Shadowbolt didn't dream at all. Lemon Zest stared up at an unfamiliar ceiling after what felt like a whole night of tossing and turning. The sun seemed to disagree, going by how it hadn't started its shift yet. She turned and adjusted the clock so she could see the time. 12:06 AM. She looked at the other bed in the room, a vague suggestion of shadows in the midnight gloom. "Hey, you asleep?" "Wow," came Sour Sweet's drowsy reply. "I didn't think people actually asked that question in real life. You know what? Yes. I'm asleep. I'm asleep and I'm dreaming of idiots with headphones instead of brains." She let out a laugh. "For me, that's a good night." Lemon winced. "Sorry. It's just—" "You can't sleep. I get it." Sheets rustled on the other bed amid hints of motion. "Let me guess, too worked up over someone going nuts tomorrow?" "Yeah." "Ever consider that that someone might be you?" Lemon slammed her head into the limp hotel pillow. "Comin' to mind now." Sour sighed. "I suppose just telling you to relax isn't going to do much." "Doubt it." Going by the sounds of shifting sheets and squeaking bedsprings, Sour Sweet sat up. "Tell you what. I'm going to do for you what I do when Bitter Honey gets like this. I'm going to tell you a bedtime story." "That your little sister?" The answer came after a brief but noticeable pause. "Sure, we'll go with that. Now listen up, because I'm only telling this once. And if you repeat it to anyone, I will end you. The only other people who know about this are Second and Sunset Shimmer." Lemon bolted up. Threats or no threats, Sour was presenting a huge vulnerability to her. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. Not if it's just between you, your boyfriend, and Godhorse." "Then it's a good thing I want to, isn't it?" Sour sighed. "A few days after Sunset changed the world, I had an especially bad dream. Then I woke up, and the dream kept on going. The spiders weren't just crawling over me, they were breaking through the walls. No one else was hurt, but I still ended up hospitalized. I... Well, I prayed to Sunset. I asked her to kill me." "Sour—" "Let me finish. She refused. Instead, she swapped my magic with Second Person's. Headgem for wingbow. And I know what you're thinking: 'But you've always had wings.' That's what everyone else thinks too. Sunset said I'd keep the gem, but one day I looked in the mirror and it was gone without a trace. Still, I definitely remember that hospital bed, Sunset's power prickling against my skin, Second holding me as she warped our very essence. "But that's the thing. This is coming from a girl who couldn't tell when her hallucination ended and actual giant spiders began. For all I know, the whole thing was just one big waking nightmare. Even you were there, and you had wings!" "I did?" Lemon tried to imagine flying on her own set of energy wings. It came surprisingly easily. "You did, and the fact that you don't remember does nothing to confirm it one way or another." Sour's mattress squeaked again. Her voice sounded from a bit further away. "So, you know what I do about that massive uncertainty?" "What?" "I accept that I'll probably never know for sure, and that it doesn't matter in the end. It's in the past, out of my control, and ultimately can't affect me anymore." Lemon rolled her eyes. "So almost exactly unlike what's keeping me up." "Not as much as you think. Yes, you're worried about the future, but you can't force people to feel good. You've done everything you can. Trying to do more will just drive you up the wall and help no one." More squeaking. The room lit up with something not unlike candlelight as Sour spread her wings. She took Lemon by the shoulders and looked her in the eyes. "At this point, the only thing you can do is accept that, let whatever will happen happen, and go the fuck to sleep." Lemon couldn't help but grin. "You know, I was getting worried there. For a second, you almost sounded like a nice person." Sour's face twisted into a scowl. She all but launched herself back into her bed, folding her wings and returning the room to darkness. "Good night, Lemon Zest." "Morning, Sour Sweet." The new day dawned, and the students of both schools convened at Canterlot High once again. The two teams stood at opposite ends of the entry hall as Dean Cadence began. "Welcome to the first event, the Academic Decathlon! You'll be scored on chemistry, home-ec and everything in between. But remember, only the six students from each team with the most points will move on to event number two, and magic use is to be kept to a minimum. Sunset Shimmer will be keeping an eye on you, so don't expect to get away with much. Good luck!" All the students cheered. Principal Cinch kept her thoughts to herself. It wasn't like she'd been able to think of a more equitable arrangement. Ditzy squinted, her eyes more interested in focusing on a smudge on her safety goggles than the test tube. "Someone want to spot me?" she said, keeping one test tube held roughly over the one on the stand. Microchips glanced at her. "Hold still. Little to your left. Little more... You're good." "Thanks. This should..." Ditzy poured, then winced at the resulting sound, like a steamroller running over wind chimes. The judges rushed to her station. "Miss Doo," said Luna, "what precisely did you just do?" Ditzy considered the red-dyed glass stretching and warping in all directions. Some bits of glass floated in place, apparently unconnected to and unsupported by the main structure. "Uh..." She gave a nervous giggle. "Avante-garde hypersculpture?" Pencils scratched against clipboards. They did not sound impressed. Royal Pin turned off the circular saw and glared at his alleged partner. "You want to actually do something at some point?" "Hmm?" Jet Set looked up from his phone. "Oh, but I am. I'm supervising." Royal gave him a flat look. "Supervising." "Indeed. And may I say, you're doing some magnificent work, Pokey." "Royal." "Pinprick. Though I can't see how this unscheduled break is going to get that spice rack built any faster." Royal took a deep breath. "We're supposed to be building a birdhouse." Jet merely nodded. "See? This is why you're in charge of the practical aspect of this event." "It's wood shop. It's nothing but practical aspects." "You'd be surprised. Do you know what kind of return on the initial labor investment we could get on Bitsy?" "Seriously?" Jet glared at his partner over his glasses. "I'm always serious about money. I suppose we could also try eBuy with the right advertising, but the market for artisanal crafts there is much less forgiving." "That's what you've been doing this whole time?" "Of course! You worry about production. I'll ensure you get handsomely compensated for it." "You do realize that we probably won't get to keep the birdhouse" "Nonsense. I'll just talk to the right people." Jet clapped twice. "Now, less chattering and more sawing. Time is money, dear boy." Royal rolled his eyes and started measuring the next cut. "I'm a month older than you." Upper Crust looked at Suri Polomare. Suri looked at Upper. "Well?" said Upper. "Well what?" said Suri. "It's been three minutes. Aren't you going to get started?" "Aren't you?" "You're the one who can talk to the oven." "You're the one who doesn't even need an oven. You can just bake the cake with your mind." "I'm not allowed to do that." "And I'm not allowed to ask the oven for help." After a moment, Suri muttered, "Much." Upper leaned in close. "Hmm?" Suri closed the distance and whispered, "Shimmer seems to be giving me some leeway. Didn't bat an eye when I got a saw to unstick itself in the last event. If we actually, y'know, work together, this could work." "Must we?" "Everyone else has a head start on us at this point, so yeah." Upper sighed. "I suppose." "And don't pull that 'supervising' bullcrap, okay? I mean actual work." Upper looked around. The only other people in the room were audience members, judges, or other teams. She sighed. "Very well." "Is there a problem, girls?" They jumped, quickly putting a few steps between each other and grinning at Principal Celestia. "No, ma'am," said Suri. "Just deciding what to do." Celestia looked from one to the other, one eyebrow raised. "Well then. I certainly look forward to seeing what requires this much deliberation." ————— "Mmm!" Celestia smiled around the fork. "Quite well done, girls," said Cadence. "You may have clinched this round for Crystal Prep." Upper and Suri smirked at each other and shared a high five over their cake. Exceeding care and a sympathetic oven had yielded a cross-section of vanilla and chocolate layers that matched the Shadowbolt S decorating the front of the cake. "Don't count us out yet," said Luna. She glanced at her sister and her confident smile fell. "Today, Tia." Celestia swallowed reluctantly and cleared her throat. "Yes. Moving on, we have one final pair for the Home Economics portion, Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie." Her pace was steady, but her smile betrayed her anticipation as she approached the last two competitors and the silver-frosted behemoth of a cake before them. "What do you have for us, girls?" Fluttershy opened her mouth only for Pinkie to hold up a hand. "Pinkie Pie says nussink. Her vork schpeaks for itself." "Zat is offensive to mein people!" cried an audience member. "Sorry, Photo!" Pinkie giggled and sliced through the mountainous pastry, parting the halves with no visible effort. The judges looked... And the judges looked back. Luna waved a hand before the cake, watching as different portions turned more and less blue as she passed by. "You girls do know magic use is to be kept at a minimum." "Miss Shimmer?" said Cadence. Sunset shook her head and shrugged from her seat at the front of the kitchen. "I've been keeping half an eye on Pinkie from the word 'go,' Dean Cadence. I have absolutely no idea how they did it, but they never broke the rules. They didn't even register as the most magical team." Sunset turned her gaze to Suri, who to all appearances had become fascinated by the bits of lint on her apron. "Well, it's certainly the tastiest mirror I've ever seen," said Celestia. The crumbs around her mouth changed color as she moved her head. Luna facepalmed to hide her smile. Cinch did so for very different reasons. "P, A, R, O, X, Y, S, M. Paroxysm." "Q, U, A, L, M. Qualm." "R, H, Y, T, H, M. Rhythm." "A, U, T, O, C, H, T, H, O, N, O, U, S. Autochthonous." Moondancer hesitated only for a moment on the next word. "P, N, E, U, M, O, N, O, U, L, T, R, A, M, I, C, R, O, S, C, O, P, I, C, S, I, L, I, C, O, V, O, L, C, A, N, O, C, O, N, I, O, S, I, S. Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis." "That is correct." Cadence bit her lip. "And now we have a problem." Twilight and Moondancer traded confused looks. "What is it?" said Twilight. "Quite simply," said Luna, "we're out of words." "What!?" both girls cried. Rainbow Dash jerked awake. "Zuh, whuh? Did Twilight win yet?" "To be honest, I put that last one in as a joke," said Celestia. "We're also out of the time alloted to the Academic Decathalon," said Cadence, "so we'll have to end it without the final event. And with a record of five wins, four losses, and one tie, the winner of the first event is Canterlot High School." For a moment, there was silence. Then grins and cheers swept through the Wondercolts like wildfire, while the Shadowbolts scowled and grumbled. Cinch seethed, her fists shaking and knuckles white. "Why did I ever agree to that ridiculous contingency?" she muttered. Sunset walked up to the competitors. "You haven't won yet, guys." "Who cares?" cried Dash. "This is better than Canterlot's ever done!" "Well don't get used to it!" All eyes turned to Indigo Zap, looming over them from on high. "Just wait until the next event. We'll put you back in your place, you—" "Miss Zap." The girl tensed at Cadence's tone. "Right now you need to return to your place." Indigo hovered, eyes darting between the Wondercolts and her superior, fists shaking. Finally, she sighed and landed. "Yes, Dean." "Moving on," said Luna, "we are very pleased to announce the teams who will be proceeding to the next event." Her headgem lit up, and a dozen students lit up with soft blue auras. "Congratulations to all our competitors. The triathlon begins in one hour. Please proceed to the track, everyone." The track was usually used for just that, track and field events. More than a month ago, the school had begun renovating it to prepare for the Friendship Games, barring any students from seeing it as part of the originally intended secrecy. That had fallen through almost immediately. While a tall fence had gone up, no one had thought to include a ceiling before flying students with camera phones spoiled the surprise. Photos spread across Chirper and MyStable like wildfire. Some even made it to parents, and that had come with its own complications. Once the stands were full and the teams stood ready in their uniforms, Celestia stepped forward, microphone in hand. "Welcome to the second event of the Friendship Games, the Tri-Cross Relay. As you may have noticed, there have been some changes from the original design." Indeed, the motocross course that formed the outer loop of the arena had seen quite a bit of redesigning in the past few weeks. The ramps were gone, but the hills were steeper, in some areas even bearing climbing ropes. Ropes also hung over the big jump halfway along the course. Hoops and colored poles poked out here and there, more than a dozen feet in the air. "After certain parties who will remain nameless leaked the nature of the event, many parents expressed some admittedly reasonable concerns over the..." Celestia trailed off long enough for Luna to lean close to the microphone and say "Sanity?" Several students laughed. One sister nudged back the other, rolling her eyes. "Advisability of intramural motocross. As such, we've instead implemented a two-lap relay race for the final leg, one on the ground, one in the air. The first two events, archery and speed skating, remain unchanged. Form your teams now." As the Shadowbolts lined up before Cinch, the Wondercolts went into a huddle. "Okay," said Dash, "I know AJ's been doing archery since that one time at summer camp. I was thinking Twilight—" "No!" Twilight backed away, waving her hands. "No no no no no. No. Trust me, my hand and eye are not coordinated. The only reason I passed my archery course at Crystal Prep was by tutoring the teacher's son." "Um. Okay. That plan's out." Dash crossed her arms and tapped her foot as she thought. "Well, Rarity uses needles all the time." Dash turned to her. "You should be good with thin, sharp things, right?" Rarity sighed. "The sad thing is that you actually have something resembling a point. Very well." "Awesome. Pinkie's the fastest thing in this school without wings, and we all know who the fastest one with them is, so I guess that means Twilight and Fluttershy are on speed skating. Okay?" "That does seem like where I'll embarrass myself the least," said Twilight. Fluttershy nodded. Pinkie bounced with eagerness and general pinkosity. "Ready to race!" "You are all very lucky that I made your sportswear appropriate for all events in case of this very eventuality." Rarity sniffed, then gave a sharklike grin and shot a fist into the air. "Now let us all go out there and kick some righteous donkey!" Dash traded a look with Applejack, then shrugged. "Eh, close enough." "That poor donkey..." "C'mon, Shy, we've got some Friendship Games to clinch." Once Principal Cinch gave her unquestionable assignments, Moondancer approached Sour Sweet. "Hey. Uh. You're the best archer in school, and I'm... not. Decidedly not. Any tips?" Sour turned, several emotions flickering across her features faster than Moondancer could identify them. Finally, she said, "Imagine the target is the face of someone you hate, and that you're trying to put an arrow right between their eyes." Moondancer blinked at her. "What?" "Among other things, I'm kind of astonished that you maintained a consistent emotional tone through that statement." "Well, I do manage sometimes." Sour switched from smile to scowl. "Thanks for reminding me how I usually don't." "Hey." Both turned to see Sugarcoat, her lips slightly curved upward. "You'll definitely do better than Twilight would've." Moondancer turned to Sour. "Was that supposed to be encouraging?" "For Sugarcoat? Yes." The teams went into position. The air horn blew. Sour Sweet and Applejack raced to the shooting area. Sour shot a bullseye within moments, then proceeded to bite her lip as Moondancer struggled her way across the rope swing. A breath in. A breath out. The perfect moment came, and Applejack released the string. Bullseye. Only then did she turn to see how the competition was doing, just in time to see Moondancer crawl onto the shooting platform. "Ya coulda helped 'er, y'know." Sour shrugged. "And you can mind your own bacon-haired business." Sunset groaned from her place between the two platforms. "Please tell me that's not going to become a swear." "No promises, ref." Rarity arrived with rather more grace once Applejack convinced her that she'd only need to touch the rope for a few moments. "Ugh. Rough synthetic fibers. I feel unclean." Applejack smiled even as she shook her head. "Just get t' shootin'." Meanwhile, Moondancer had gone through four shots and hadn't even grazed something. She dared not even look at Sour Sweet. Instead, she closed her eyes and thought about the advice. You adorkable little thing, you! Moondancer's eyes snapped open. That face. That carelessly positive, unknowing face, that could talk to Twilight whenever she wanted. That could talk to anyone with such ease. The laughter in those golden eyes. Laughing at her. Twin thunks rang out. "Both teams have completed the archery portion at the same time!" cried Cadence. "Skaters, go!" Moondancer blinked. She flinched when she felt something smack her shoulder, and almost flinched again when she saw Sour Sweet smiling at her. "I wouldn't recommend pulling the string like that in the future, but I saw the look in your eyes." Sour's grin grew to a distressing width. "Whoever you shot, you must really despise her." Before Moondancer could answer, the first screams came from the stands.