The Even Shorterest Displaced Fic Ever
Admiral Biscuit
It's a well-known fact that every now and then, a cosplayer finds him or herself in Equestria, suddenly wielding all the powers that his or her costume entails. Perhaps even more often than is strictly necessary, to be bluntly honest. But everyone knows that Discord is somehow behind it, and Discord works in mysterious ways.
Jared did not know this.
Jared was an average college student in every way. He went to an average college and got average grades, and sometimes he went to parties that weren't really all that fun, but they weren't all that boring, either. And it was a good enough life; one day he would likely become an average accountant and marry an average wife and live in a house in the suburbs with a white picket fence and 2.5 children.
Sadly for Jared, none of that came to pass, because on his last Halloween on Earth, Jared rather foolishly wore a poop emoji costume, which he bought from a rather unusual vendor at a kiosk in the shopping mall.
Approximately tau seconds after donning his new costume, Jared suddenly found himself in Equestria, proudly wielding all the powers which a pile of shit has to offer, which is to say none whatsoever.
He did have one brief, shining moment of glory when Daisy stepped on him, looked down to see what was on her hoof, and fainted (and Lily subsequently also fainted out of sympathy). Thereafter, he was scooped off the road by a Ponyville Public Works employee, and six months later, he, along with a wagonload of mundane crap, was sold to a pony called White Cap.
And thus Jared's life ended as fertilizer for a bumper crop of shiitake mushrooms.