Chapter 4
As the rays from Celestia's sun crept over his windowsill, Shining Armor cursed the dawn. The white unicorn was exhausted. He felt like he didn't sleep at all. He lay awake, worried that Twilight would tell their parents what she did with her BBBFF last night. What would happen to him? Would his parents disown him? Would he be put in the forced gelding program reserved for convicted foal molesters? Would he be sentenced to a jail for blank flank fiddlers? He shuddered at the thought of what those hardened criminals would do to a young colt like him. A dark cloud hung over his head as he made his way to breakfast.
Orion was so tired. He had been up all night worrying about his shameful kiss getting out. The stallion was nervous that his daughter would tell Dazzle that the foalsitter played tonsil tennis with him yesterday. He needed to get Twilight shipped off to that private school. Then she would be too busy studying for anything else. The first step was to convince his wife.
"But Twily's just a foal," Dazzle said, brushing her mane, "All the other unicorns at Celestia's school already have their cutie marks. Without any ponies her own age, how is she supposed to make any friends?"
"She's got plenty of time to make friends," Orion said, "You don't send your daughter to a select school like this to make friends anyways. Our Twily is going there to study magic, not friendship."
"I just worry that she'll grow up alone." Dazzle said.
"Are you worried she'll become so obsessed with her studies that she becomes a socially-impaired recluse?" Orion asked, "Trust me dear, that's not going to happen. I'm sure once Twilight gets adjusted to her new school, she'll be a regular outgoing social butterfly."
"Cadance did say she felt confident that Twily would excel at that school," Dazzle admitted, setting her brush down. Orion gulped. He never wanted to hear the name Cadance again.
"I think she was just trying to flatter us into giving her a raise, while at the same time promoting her aunt's school," Dazzle said, "I wanted to wait on it, but you were ready to sign Twilight over to her the night she brought it up."
Orion started to sweat. "She made a very compelling case," the stallion said, weakly.
"I think that filly's silver tongue was too much for you to resist," Dazzle said, unaware of the double entendre, "Honestly Orion, how much do you invest in what comes out of our foalsitter's mouth?"
Her husband stared at her blankly. "That all depends on what it is," Orion said, sweating bullets.
They stared at each other for a moment. Finally Dazzle sighed. "Well, you're already convinced," she said.
"I think this is the best option for all concerned," Orion said, trying to sound as humble and impartial as possible.
"Maybe a change of scenery would be good for Twily," Dazzle said, wistfully, "She has had a hard time fitting in at magic kindergarten. I suppose we can give this new school a try."
Orion felt like a huge weight had been taken off his shoulders. Now all he needed to do was make sure Twilight didn't spill the beans for just a little while longer. After that, he would be free and clear.
Breakfast was an awkward experience. Shining Armor and Orion kept staring apprehensively at Twilight, as though she were a ticking time bomb, poised to explode.
Both male ponies jumped when Twilight opened her mouth. The mother and daughter paused, staring awkwardly at the male members of their family. To draw attention away from the spastic outburst, Orion and Shining Armor began busying themselves with their breakfast. All the while neither one of them took their eyes off of Twilight.
"Mommy, I learned something new yesterday," Twilight said. Before Dazzle could ask what it was, Orion changed the subject.
"So Twily," Orion said, trying desperately to keep his expression free from panic, "Did you and Shining Armor do any fun things together yesterday?" Shining shot his father a look of contempt. Now the bomb was in the son's court, and its fuse was getting shorter.
"Well...," Twilight said, thinking back. Shining cut her off. "Hey Twily," he said, thinking fast, "Didn't Cadance teach you a new game the last time she was over?"
Orion felt his heart sink. Neither pony realized that their change of subjects had ended up throwing each other under the bus.
Dazzle had no idea what was going on with her husband or son. Before either of them could interrupt Twilight again, Dazzle asked her daughter a very serious question.
"Twilight," Dazzle said, "There's something that happened yesterday that you need to tell me the truth about."
Twilight looked nervous. Orion and Shining Armor stared at Twilight like a cow stares at an oncoming train.
"You know you can be honest with me, Twily." Dazzle said in her most motherly tone, "Do you know what I'm talking about?"
Twilight nodded her head and looked sad. The two males could barely hear the conversation. All sound was being drowned out by the overwhelming pounding in their ears, caused by the rapid beating of their hearts.
"Did you do something you weren't supposed to do?" Dazzle asked. "Yes." Twilight replied, hanging her head. Shining saw his young life flash before his eyes.
"Did you go into mommy and daddy's room yesterday?" Dazzle asked sternly. "Yes." Twilight said, unable to look her parents in the eye. Orion saw his world crumbling around him.
"Tell me what happened." Dazzle said.
Orion had resigned himself to his fate. Thinking fast, the unicorn stallion tried to remember off the top of his head the names of the top divorce attorneys in Canterlot.
"I went into your room and borrowed some earrings from your jewelry drawer." Twilight said, sadly, "Smarty Pants wanted to be a movie star."
Orion and Shining Armor both collapsed. Their heads hitting the table as they fell forward. For the second time that morning Dazzle and Twilight took note of Shining Armor and Orion's bizarre behavior.
Returning to their conversation Dazzle looked compassionately at Twilight.
"It's only borrowing if you ask permission first," Dazzle said, "otherwise it's just taking."
"I'm sorry," Twilight said, running off, "I'll go get Smarty Pants."
"It's alright, dear," Dazzle said, "Hurry back. your dad and I have an announcement!"
While Twilight was away, Dazzle whispered to her husband and son, "What the tartarus is wrong with you two?"
"Rough night's sleep," the two males said in unison, lifting their heads off the table.
Twilight returned with Smarty Pants bouncing atop her head and her mother's earrings clenched in her teeth.
"Your father and I have some exciting news," Dazzle said, "We signed you up to study at Princess Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns."
"A new school?!" Twilight said, beaming, "yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes!" Twilight hoped around the breakfast table.
"You will have to pass an entrance exam first," Dazzle said.
Twilight stopped bouncing. "I get to take a test, too?" she said, giddily.
Composing herself, Twilight suddenly became very urgent.
"Mom, can you take me to the Canterlot library?" Twilight asked politely, "I need to study for my test."
"Of course, sweetie," Dazzle said.
"Come on, Smarty Pants," Twilight said, as she trotted back to her room, "I have some more homework assignments for you that are due by the time I get back."
Shining Armor no longer felt hollow inside. He had dodged a bullet. With Twilight leaving to a new school, she'd soon forget all about her nighttime experiment with him. As he walked to school, Shining felt optimistic about the future.
Orion kissed Dazzle as she left with Twilight. The stallion got ready to leave for work, still unable to believe his luck.
Orion was heading for the door, when he was stopped by Cadance. The pink filly walked in, shutting the door behind her. "What are you doing here?" Orion said, shocked, "I don't have time to deal with you. I'm going to be late for work."
"You're always so busy, Mr. Orion," Cadance said, giving her butt a seductive wiggle as she approached him, "I can never tell if you're going or...coming."
"Listen you little tramp, stay the tartarus away from me and my family," Orion said angrily, "I don't care if you are related to Celestia. So's Prince Blueblood, and everypony knows that kid's a joke."
"I know a trick that Blueblood doesn't." Cadance said, flashing Orion a sinister smile, "I know how to make ponies love me."
With that, Cadance shot little floating hearts from the tip of her horn, which encircled her. Orion felt magical impulses begin to change him as he struggled to resist.
"This is a spell I've been perfecting for quite some time," Cadance said, "It's called the 'Want it Need it' spell. It's quite handy for removing pesky roadbloaks like fidelity or free will."
"You b-b-bi-bi-," Orion said, his curse was being stifled by the effects of the spell, "bi-bi-beautiful venus."
"You're too kind," Cadance said as she sauntered up to Orion, who seemed frozen in place. She looked into his eyes, which now displayed pink hearts. Orion's glassy eyes stared out into space.
Using her magic to tug Orion by his horn, the little filly led her slave down the hall to his bedroom.
"This way love," Cadance said, "Let's get you to bed." Cadance chuckled as she watched her love zombie stumble down the hall.
Entering his bedroom, Cadance saw Orion's bed: the location of her biggest failure. "And after today," she thought, "the site of my greatest conquest."