//------------------------------// // Mysteries Unlocked // Story: Tales of the Battle Foals // by Sirdubya //------------------------------// “Rainy days made with brainy hays by Zany May on a waning pay makes greetings cards eat their sweet potatoes! Sweet potatoes with allergies to pepper wash their dirty socks in pickle juice! The pickle juice people of MeemaJeema have outlawed making crochets out of cucumber bones! Bones of bones with bones without bones know no bones with bones who’s their bone’s boney cousin! WHY ARE THESE LIGHTS BLINKING!? IT’S NOT TIME FOR ME TO DYE MY EYES OGRE!!” Crazylocks was sitting in the center of Quantum Tech’s lab with a brain analyzer that said little scientist had crafted strapped to her head. Quantum herself was at a small computer that fed the analyzers reading to her. Fire Fight was there with her to hear what she had to say, and to just to be there in case their crazy companion suddenly decided to go on a manic rampage. “Hmm…..She certainly has quite the……innovative idea of poetry….” Quantum commented. Fire Fight rolled his eyes. “Yeah…She’s been a hoofful ever since we found her, but thinking about what G- Uh!....‘You know who’ must have done to her…..I just couldn’t let her be alone like that. If she’s gonna be insane for the rest of her life, then she might as well still have friends. She deserves that much at least.” “You have a good heart, Fire Fight.” Quantum said. She sighed. “It’s difficult for me to believe that somepony I viewed as an idol would be capable of something so……abhorrent.” Fire Fight looked at Quantum. “You looked up to him?” Quantum nodded. “Yes. Just from reading his books I could tell that the professor was the ultimate authority in the world of biology. Almost everything I know on the subject I learned from his work. I’d longed for the day that I could shake his hoof.” “Yeah…..sorry that Shroud had to…..” Fire Fight looked down in sorrow at the uneasy events surrounding their encounter with Gene Splice. Quantum shook her head. “No, no. It was for the better. Shadow Shroud is a smart and mature filly; I’d trust her to make the right choice.” She cleared her throat. “Anyways, regarding our friend here, I’ve come to two….shaky theories.” Fire Fight cocked his head. “Shaky?” “Yes, meaning that I don’t have quite as much answers as I hoped for.” Quantum stated. “I took a sample of her blood, and analyzed it under my microscope. Careful observations of her….unique genetic code has yielded much more insight into her polymorphic physiology. Apparently, the ‘good’ professor tried to artificially engineer her into an alicorn…at least that’s what it would seem. Her pegasus and unicorn traits were seemingly forcibly spliced into her genetic code with some sort of…..how should I put this…..nucleic emulsifier, meaning that there was a clearly artificial substance connecting said traits to the nucleic acids already present in her natural genetic makeup. It had even fooled her cells into allowing their ribosomes into manufacturing them into the proteins that they already produce. This of course means that she was an earth pony by origin.” She explained. “So….she’s not artificial like those mole-lizard things were?” Fire Fight asked. “No, she definitely has inherited genes from a mother and father, meaning that she has or had parents, and that the professor likely either kidnapped or coerced her into becoming a captive test subject.” Quantum explained. “What about her hair? How does it become so hard when she’s an earth pony?” Fire Fight asked. “Well….I can’t really say….It might have very well been a side effect of her genetics being tampered with. If I had to guess, I’d have to say that it manifested from her natural earth pony traits trying to fight off the bioengineered traits, but….why it resulted with her hair attaining such a property is a complete mystery.” Quantum answered. “The chaotic nature of her genetics also likely bled into her psyche, and drove her….partially to the insanity that we’ve come to know her for.” “What do you mean ‘partially’?” Fire Fight asked. “Closer analysis of her neural activity has shown me a discernable pattern, a pattern that reveals that she may have witnessed or perhaps experienced some sort of traumatic event that scarred her mentally to the point of madness. Thus, her erratic behavior is likely an unconscious defense mechanism to cope with whatever must have happened; no doubt that it had something to do with her time with the professor. That coupled with her tampered genetics produced the epitome of insanity that we see now.” Quantum explained. Crazylocks was happily chewing on one of her pigtails as Quantum stated her theory. Fire Fight looked in her eyes as he let Quantum’s lecture sink in. For some reason……he could see….something close to…fear? Sadness? Anger? Maybe all of it at once? Whatever it was, it told him that Crazylocks was conscious of Quantum’s words, and was reacting to them……somehow. “So….you mean she’s not totally crazy? Can she be fixed?” Quantum sighed. “As it stands now, I’m not sure, but…..I wouldn’t get my hopes up too high. Rest assured however, I will do what I can. I just need to study her more.” Fire Fight nodded. “I have faith in you, Quantum Tech.” he said. Quantum gave him a light smile. “Hey, do you think maybe that whatever the traumatic event was involved an axe? Crazylocks went berserk when-” “DESTROOOY THE AXEEEEEEEES!!!!!!!” Crazylocks ripped herself out of the brain analyzer, and darted out of the room screaming like a…well, the maniac that she was. Fire Fight facehooved at his blunder. “Crap….” “Watch your words around her!!” Quantum reprimanded. “Now go after her before she ruins this place any further!” she ordered. Something about Quantum Tech’s tone reminded him of his mother scolding him, so he complied without question, and dashed out of the room after her. Quantum then looked around frantically through her shelves. “Oh, please tell me that there’s a potent sedative somewhere in here.” Crazylocks could be heard shouting off in the distance accompanied by the sound of metal and stone crashing to the ground. “THE GRASSHOPPERS WILL NEVER HAVE THEIR ROOT BEAR STEEEEAAAAAKS!!!!” In Canterlot..... The search team received word of yet another runaway in Equestria’s grand capital, and wasted no time travelling there to get what info that they could. Unfortunately, many of the snobbish citizens weren’t eager to make the time for outsiders, so Rarity had to use her affinity for the local culture to act as a diplomat. It also helped that the presence of the Princess of Friendship made them a bit softer as well. Eventually, they were all led to the house of the filly in question. As expected, the parents were flustered. “Please, Your Highness! Help us find our dear Quantum Tech!” The mother plead. Her husband had to calm her down. “We have no idea what could have possibly urged her to leave us. Furthermore, nopony saw her leave, so….Oh, heavens…” “It’s going to be ok, you two. We’ll find her.” Twilight consoled. “You both have my utmost sympathies. My own son ran away from me, and…..I can’t imagine the sheer pain you must be feeling right now….” Ms. Fight consoled. “Our sympathies to you as well, madam. May both of our children return safely.” Quantum’s father replied. “I have my class asking around town if they saw her with anypony suspicious, or doing something out of the ordinary. Did you happen to notice anything of the sort?” Cheerilee inquired. Quantum’s mother calmed herself. “Not particularly….She never went outside very often, so….” “When did she usually go outside?” Spike asked. “Usually to spend time with her friends, but even that wasn’t all that often. She’d always been rather….shy.” Quantum’s mother answered. “But she did speak to those two same foals two days in a row. I suppose that was a rare occurrence however inconsequential….” Her dad said. This caught their attention. “What did these two foals look like?” Ms. Fight asked. She was then stunned to hear one of them perfectly matched her son! And it would seem that their mystery filly in the dress was his company too! “WHAT!? MY SON WAS HERE!? WAS HE OKAY!? WHO WAS THIS FILLY!?” Twilight and Cheerilee had to calm her down. “Just as we thought.” Cheerilee said. Quantum’s parents were understandably flustered. “My word! Had we had any idea that he was your son, we would have done something immediately!” her dad said. Ms. Fight calmed down. “It’s fine. You didn’t know. Did you happen to know this filly, or see where they went?” she asked. Quantum’s parent’s solemnly shook their heads. “Nothing of the sort, I’m afraid….” Her mom answered. They shared a heavy sigh. “Excuse us!” They all looked over to see the CMC and several other classmates approach them. Silver Spoon was boiling for some reason. “Who is this stupid filly who thinks that she can look so good with him!?” she whispered angrily. “We….couldn’t get any answers about Fire Fight, but there were some fillies who wanted to know if y’all had any of those…er…‘hornbands’ that she made….whatever those are supposed to be.” Applebloom said. Quantum’s parents’ expression turned a little frantic. “H-Hornbands?” her dad stammered. “Yeah! I think they said that they’re supposed to like….make pulses that…..makes your neuro……magic…..something be better?” Scootaloo tried to explain. “Neuromagical activity?” Twilight said. “Yeah, that!” Scootaloo affirmed. Twilight looked Quantum's parents curiously. “When did she start making something like that? Furthermore, how?” “Umm…..We…..have no idea, Your Highness.” Her mom stammered. A passerby who overheard the conversation suddenly butted in. “Oh, yes! I heard that she’d been working on such a thing! I wasn’t quite sure if they’d be safe or not, so I opted not to help her test them for fear of my own health….I hope she understands. But any aspiring scientist learns to accept failure head on, and Quantum Tech was the spitting image of that!” he commented. His apparent wife then spoke up. “Quite so, dear. Why just a few weeks ago, our printer was horribly malfunctioning. We got a servicepony to look at it, but he could barely diagnose the issue. But when little Quantum Tech came to our aid, she fixed it in record time with virtually no issue whatsoever. She’d even managed to enhance its rate of ink consumption, so we save money! Oh, she’s just a little genius! The science community must yearn for the day that she could join their ranks!” Twilight’s eyed lit up like lucky stars. “She’s a scientist!? At her age!? Oh, now we really have to find her! I can’t imagine what kinds of theories she must have if she’s able to make something that enhances a unicorn’s magic! You two must be so proud of her!” Quantum’s parents were nearly on the verge of freaking out as the passerby suddenly spoke up once more. “Say, didn’t we see a mass number of City Dump carts coming from your home with a vast collection of scientific material in them? Did your daughter use them all up? She didn’t hurt herself in any experiments, did she?” she asked. “Come to think of it, you seemed to quite disapprove of her scientific drive….. You didn’t just throw all of that away out of spite, did you!?” the husband exclaimed. “Umm! Uhh!! W-W-Well…..” her mother was stammering for words….any words. “W-W-We can explain! Umm……” her dad wasn’t faring any better. Twilight, Ms. Fight and Cheerilee were understandably shocked and appalled at this revelation. Ms. Fight stormed up to them, and got in their faces. “You mean that you took your daughters passion away from her, and threw it in the trash!? HOW COULD YOU!?!?!” “IT’S NO WONDER SHE RAN AWAY FROM YOU! YOU’RE JUST…..I DON’T THINK I’VE EVER MET SUCH HORRID, INCONSIDERATE, MONSTROUS PARENTS IN MY ENTIRE TEACHING CAREER!!” Cheerilee exclaimed. Twilight pushed the two away gently, and confronted Quantum’s parents. “I’ll see to it that the Princesses know of how horribly you must have treated your daughter! We’ll decide what to do with you from there!” she growled. Quantum’s parents were on the verge of passing out. ***** Soon after their confrontation, and Twilight reporting Quantum’s parents, Princess Celestia suddenly approached her as she and the others were waiting for their train. “Twilight!” “Princess? What is it? Did you already receive word of those two?” Twilight asked. Celestia sighed. “Yes….It’s sickening that such parents could possibly exist, but that’s not what I’ve come to you to talk about. It’s about what we found in Baltimare.” “What? You mean that underground laboratory?” Spike inquired. Celestia nodded. “Yes. Investigators discovered that it was being operated by a stallion named Professor Gene Splice. I trust you know of him?” “Yes! I’ve read all of his biology books. He’s absolutely brilliant! Was he there?” Twilight said. “As far as I know, his whereabouts are still being investigated. As for his actions…..I’m afraid I have disturbing news. As we feared, the monsters that he had created were born for the purpose of causing the wheat famine out of a sense of spite. He had felt rejected and unwanted for his more….extreme studies, and wanted revenge. We found a journal of his that said as much.” Celestia explained. Twilight was dumbfounded. Gene Splice had been one of her idols from fillyhood. She’d hoped to understand the world of biology through his eyes…..but to see that he could turn so mad made her heart sink. “You….You’re not serious!” she whimpered. “I’m afraid so, but that’s not even the worst of it. In his journal, he confessed to a double murder in Fillydelphia that went unsolved for almost 8 years. He brutally butchered a couple with an axe, his own daughter and son-in-law no less, and kidnapped their 4-year-old daughter- his granddaughter! Not long after that, he began performing heartless experiments on her in an attempt to ‘make her ascend’ as he put it. No trace of the poor filly was found either, I’m afraid.” Celestia explained. Twilight and Spike were now just utterly horrified. This was definitely much deeper and darker than the abyss that this whole ordeal was discovered in. Twilight couldn’t imagine how the poor filly must have felt if….heaven forbid that she actually witnessed her parents being murdered! She found herself speechless. “Wha…..Wh-Wh-What was…. The filly’s name?” Spike asked. Celestia cleared her throat. “Her name is Crazylocks.”