//------------------------------// // Maud Pie: I wanna rock // Story: Wondrous Wishes of the Winter Comet // by Dreams of Ponies //------------------------------// Maud checked her watch; 10:37 pm. She turned off the bunsen burner and returned the sample she had been working on to the cabinet. She had been mildly excited about the passing comet and wanted to study it. She left the lab and locked the door, heading to the schools observatory. She had reserved it for the specific time the comet would pass closest to the planet. As expected, the building only held a few ponies, the ones who operated the large telescope the observatory held. As she looked at it, she was slightly impressed by the size of it. It should do adequately for her needs. She walked to the viewing port and started her observations. She took notes and watched the comet for about fifteen minutes, then stowed her notebook in her saddlebags,before she left the observatory. On her way back to her lab, she took a few moments to look up at the moon. She silently mused about all of the new and strange types of rocks that were there. She wished for a moment that she could be the first pony (besides Princess Luna of course) to have a chance to study moon rocks. It wasn't about the fame or fortune, but just the mere thought of the wealth of knowledge on the moon made her blink with excitement. When she arrived at her lab, She took out her notebook and put her saddlebags away, wanting to go over it before she logged the information into the school records. As she removed her notebook, she found there was also a strange green rock in her saddlebags as well. As she removed it, an odd smell permeated her nose.. Putting her notes aside, she closely examined the strange rock. She started with trying to find its composition. The best way she knew to do so was through burning it and observing the colors and smells of the burned portion. She reignited the burner that she had worked with earlier, and then held the exotic rock carefully over it. As the blue flames caressed the stone, she found that the smoke smelled more akin to a burnt plant than anything else. She took a deep breath of the smoke, closing her eyes in mental focus. Her eyebrows furrowed.. After several more deep inhalations, she conceded that didn’t seem to be a rock at all, but some kind of hard packed vegetation instead. Maud Pie’s dispassionate expression seemed to become even more uncaring, if that was possible. But, maybe it wasn’t a total waste of time, as ,maybe the botanical department would find it interesting. She put the plant into a sample container and set it aside for tomorrow, since most of the department would have gone to their rooms by now. She opened her notebook and started reviewing her observations of the comet. After reading for a few minutes, her eyes began to unfocus, and she found herself rereading lines she’d written. Maud tried, but failed to stifle a long monotone yawn, so she set the notes aside and left the lab to go to her dorm room. As she walked, she saw some other students playing with a Frisbee in the quad. For some reason she didn’t understand, she was fascinated by it. She saw the head of the zoology department, Tree Hugger, catch the flying disc and throw it to another pony. She fumbled as she threw it, and ended up throwing it straight at Maud. It landed right in front of her, and she stared at it. She had no idea why, but it was incredibly fascinating. She looked up once she realized someone was speaking to her. Tree Hugger was walking over to her, asking her to throw the Frisbee back. Once Tree got closer, she looked at Maud oddly, staring at Maud’s eyes. “Are you feeling alright, Maud?” Maud just stared at her, wondering why she was asking. Treehugged frowned as she noticed Maud’s glazed appearance. “You look like you’re stoned.” Tree joked. “I’d like to be a stone.” Maud deadpanned. “Woah, that would be trippy.” A familiar odor tickled Treehugger's nose, which confirmed her suspicion. “I didn’t know you toked.” “I don’t. I don’t feel the need to use drugs. But I do feel strange tonight. Maybe it was the comet.” “Maud, I know what a stoned pony looks like, and you’re blazed.” “Tree,” Maud shakes her head, “I’m not on fire and there’s no way I could be stoned. The only thing I’ve done this evening is test this strange plant I thought was a rock.” “Can you show me the plant?” “Of course, it’s in the geology lab.” Both ponies walked over to the geology lab, where Maud unlocked the door and led Tree to the sample cabinet. She took out the container she had put in it earlier, and set it on the table. Tree looked at the contents, and exclaimed loudly, “Oh my Luna, do you know what this is?” “It’s a plant. I thought it was a rock, but when I was testing, it started to show signs of being a plant.” Tree Hugger gave Maud a pained look. Could she really be such a stick in the mud that she didn’t know what it was? “Maud, this is a moon rock.” “It’s not a rock. I’m an expert on rocks, so I should know.” “No, that’s what it’s called. It’s actually a very potent form of marijuana.” “Oh. That explains why I feel funny.” “How much did you smoke?” the stoner pony asked. “I didn’t smoke it. I was burning part of it to determine its composition, but after testing I determined it was a plant.” the straight laced pony replied. “How much did you burn?” “About a quarter of it.” “Holy Luna! And you’ve never had marijuana before?” “No,” Maud said honestly. “Maud, from what you’ve told me, you're soon going to be very, very stoned. You better stay with me so nothing bad happens.” “I’m feeling a bit hungry, and so is Boulder.” “Your rock is hungry?” “Yes, I feed him whenever I eat. If I don’t, he gets cranky.” “Ok, let’s head over to my dorm and we’ll get you and Boulder something to eat.” The pair left the geology lab and walked to the dorms. As she walked, Maud thought she heard something in her pocket. She reached in and pulled out Boulder. It seemed like he was trying to say something to her. While some ponies thought she was a little nuts when she would talk to her rock, she knew it couldn’t talk to her. But he was her pet, and she treated him like anypony would treat their pet. But now it seemed like he was really trying to talk to her. She concentrated, trying her best to make out what he was saying. In a soft male voice, she heard her pet and closest friend who wasn’t her sister say, “Maud, Maud, can you hear me?”. Her eyes widened by 0.04 millimeters. Boulder was actually trying to talk to her. This was a dream come true, a chance to actually talk to a rock. “Boulder, is that you?” Maud ventured, the smallest amount of hesitation in her deadpan voice. “Yes, it is me, my fairest.” Maud paused noticeably at this. “I have so many questions for you.” “Yet I have but one for you. We have been close for many years, yet I want us to be so much more. Maud, I love you, and I know you love me too. Lets run away from all of this and get married. Let’s raise a family together and grow old together.” “I... I can’t. I can’t run away from my future. But we can be together, here at the college. We can even start a family after I graduate.” “But ponies would hate and persecute us because I’m a rock. They will call you weird and bully our children.” “Ponies are understanding. Half rock ponies won’t be treated any different.” Tree Hugger just stood agape at the romantic scene before her. Or at least half of it. She could only wonder about the other half. But one thing was very obvious, Maud was really stoned. Tree had to get Maud out of here before she ruined her reputation. She tried to lift Maud onto her back, but it seemed as if Maud weighed a tons if she were actually made of solid granite. She tried pushing her, but it was like trying to move a mountain. If ponies from the college started coming home from the local bar, with and without company, they would find out that the rock solid pony, the one that so many rested the foundation of their drug free educations on, stoned out of her mind and proposing starting a family with her pet rock. She only could come up with one idea, one that should get her attention through the haze and make her follow her. “Maud, are you and Bolder hungry?” Maud suddenly looked up at Tree and blushed exactly 0.003 percent of a hue. “Yes.” Maud’s stomach rumbled, showing more emotion than its owner could ever express. “Boulder and I could use some food while we discuss our future together,” Maud said, the slightest hint of a quiver in her voice. Tree rolled her eyes and started leading Maud again, praying to Luna that it would go smoothly. As they walked, she turned to check on Maud and froze. Something that she was sure no one but a Pie had seen before was right before her eyes. Maud was... smiling? Not one of her mere quirks at the corners of her mouth, but a full on, wide, beaming smile. Then she noticed Maud’s eyes were completely glazed over, staring at nothing. Yes, the drug had finally started hitting her hard, and Tree slowly led her down the final hall and into her dorm room, and then laid her on the couch so she could rest and enjoy her trip. Maud was in a field of rocks. Every type of rock she had ever heard of. And they were all speaking, telling her stories about their lives as rocks. Yet in the background, someone describing everything going on. She paused to focus, and started walking toward the new voice. She continued for several minutes before she walked straight into what felt like a wall, yet she could see right through it. She squinted and thought she could see words in the air, but they were backward. And a strange looking face beyond the words. Was this the fourth wall her sister told her about? She yelled as loud as she could, which was about 0.7 percent louder than her normal voice, “Hello, are you the narrator?” The strange face startled and flinched back, obviously not expecting her to try to talk to him. “Um... hello Maud. Look, I’m really sorry I made you get stoned for this fic, but...” “Don’t worry about it. Pinkie told me you humans did weird stuff to us for your own amusment. Thank you for not making me hurt somepony or put me into some strange sexual fetish.” “Ok, no problem, I don’t write that kind of stuff anyway.” Maud gave the apparition severe look, which wasn’t much of change. ”Really?” “OK, in my defense, I was drunk.” “Just don’t do it again.” “Pinkie promise.” “Shouldn’t I be getting back to the story?” “Yeah, let’s get back before people decide one of us is weird for talking to each other while the fic is going on.” Maud awoke on Tree Huggers couch, her mouth a bit dry and hungry. She checked her watch and found it was mid afternoon. Luckily for her, today was her day off from the lab. She smelled quesadillas cooking in the kitchen. She got up and walked into the kitchen where she saw Tree busily cooking on the stove. Tree noticed her and greeted her back to the land of sobriety. “Good afternoon, Maud. Feeling better?” “Yes, though I can say I have no idea how you go through all of that for fun.” Tree chuckled, “Normally I don’t get the strongest cannabis ever made and smoke that much of it. I just toke till I get buzzed and stay there all day.” “Still, it’s an experience I don’t plan to repeat.” “It’s like, your opinion pony. Well, I have quesadillas and apple juice, that should help clear your mind and fill your belly.” “Thanks, and could you do me a favor?” “Sure.” “Never tell anypony what happened last night.” “No problem, it was an accident. But it was really weird seeing you smile. Not one of your normal smiles, but a real, honest smile.” Treehugger blushed beet red before she said, “You’re pretty cute when you smile.” “Are you hitting on me?” “Maybe~” “I’m sorry, but I’m already in a committed relationship.” “You are!?” “Yes, Boulder and I are very exclusive.” At this Tree’s brain shut down for a reboot. So all that romantic talk Maud did was real? As she pondered the consequences, including what half rock ponies would even look like, the corners of Maud’s mouth quirked up just slightly as she took the quesadilla from her plate and slowly started eating it.