//------------------------------// // Adjusting and Readjusting // Story: Quill // by Pinkieappleflutter //------------------------------// The years I spent with the Cookies were the best years of my life. Like Velvet, I keep tabs on what they are up to. I was in grade eleven and graduation was coming up soon. Honey Dew, Heather, and I were all so worried about grades and our lives after school. Heather was already working for a bridal dress store and was getting ready to work full time, but as for me and Honey Dew? We had no clue. I mean, sure I had been writing ever since I was about ten, but I had no idea if that would last! And Honey Dew was like a jack of all trades. She could do a lot, but didn't know what to settle on. Not to mention final projects, papers, exams, we were stressed. Not to mention Bell Hop, Heather's boyfriend of four years at the time, broke up with her those same months when nothing but panicking was happening. "Relax, girls. You have your whole life ahead of you," Sugar would say when we walked in my house with hysteria written all over our faces. "But, Sugar! My grades are low, Heather's boyfriend broke up with her, and Quill is sitting over here like the world is going to burn if she doesn't hand in the psychology assignment on time next week!" Honey Dew exclaimed, probably more frantically than she intended. "I get that, I was seventeen once too. In fact, my parents were so controlling during this time that me and your Aunt Ginger couldn't even think about friends without them yelling at us," Sugar explained simply. "Oh," I thought. "Is that why Aunt Ginger is so traumatized as a mare?" I wondered. So, the stress continued. We tried everything in our power not to crack under the massive amounts of pressure we were under to get good grades and graduate! It was hard, and we barely made it through, but in the end, we all graduated. And I can tell you proudly that Chocolate, Sugar, and Velvet watched as I walked up on that stage and took that diploma from the principal's hoof. Honey Dew and Heather's parents were there too. And we all took pictures in front of the school. After graduation, our lives split apart for a while. As suspected Heather's job at the bridal shop started full time, I got busy with job finding myself, and Honey Dew was moving out of her parents' house. We lost contact for a while, and that got me down for a bit, but I got over it. I knew that since we were all out of high school, our lives had to get hectic before they got normal. As I was looking for a new job, I was still working part time in the diner, training Pony Joe the ins and outs of what to do. We became really close friends right away and around the time I got my first full time job at a Art Gallery, we started to date. We kissed and cuddled like all new couples do, and it seemed right, but something deep inside me told me something was off. I had no interest in dating colts in school, which I thought was weird and so did my parents, but no pony really thought about it too deeply. When I and Pony Joe got together, every pony thought that it was just meant to be. That is, until, I met some pony else. I was still quite young, nineteen maybe? And Pony Joe and I had been dating for several years and that thing was still there saying how wrong it was. But I liked Joe, so I just ignored it. But there lies the problem, I liked Joe. I didn't love him the way a special somepony is supposed to love their partner. But Lilac Shimmer changed everything. She changed my entire life. Lilac Shimmer was a Pegasus like me! She had a magenta curly mane, dark purple body, and dark pink eyes. Her cutie mark was a referee whistle and mainly worked local soccer games. She got me into loving sports! Base ball, soccer, Wonderbolts, air hockey, I was hooked. I still am! Lilac and I met at the art gallery I worked at, she was there with her sister-in-law and she looked too bored to be there willingly. As the two of them were walking around, I made it my business to make her at least a little amused. "Hello, I'm Quillian Bird! Do you need help finding a particular piece today?" I said, cheerfully, reciting what all employees are told memorized. "Hi, I was just wondering if you had any pieces by Pony Picasso or even Free de-Color," her sister-in-law asked. "We sure do, but I don't know where they are or who those painters are," I said, lying. As expected, Lilac chuckled quietly. "I thought you worked here," her sister-in-law said, confused and a bit irritated. "Oh, I do," I explained simply. "Then shouldn't you know the artists?" she asked. "Sure, but I didn't pay attention at the orientation," I explained, lying again, but I got Lilac to laugh out loud. I would learn to love that laugh. The reason I don't say Lilac's sister-in-law's name is because I asked her if she would be okay if I put her in my book, and she said, "Yes. As long as you leave my name out," I asked every pony the same question. She got angry that now both me and Lilac were laughing. "I'm sorry, please come with me. I'll show you the artists you want to see," I said. I lead them to the hallway where it just so happened that both artists she was looking for was featured. I decided to introduce myself properly to Lilac. "Hey, I'm Quill, what brings you here against your will?" "She wants to start painting, and wanted inspiration," Lilac explained, watching her sister go from painting to painting. "What's your name?" I asked, as casually as I could. "Lilac Shimmer, but I go by Lilac," she explained. "Only the ponies that are important to me call me Lil," she added, and I blushed. I wanted to be important to her. "Since we're just standing here, why not tell me what your cutie mark means?" I asked. "You first, feather butt," she said, teasingly. "Well, I'm a writer, I'm pretty popular here in Canterlot, but it's okay if you don't know my work, I don't expect you to," I explained simply. "Nah, you'd be surprised how many books I've read and didn't know the author's name," The more she spoke, the more I could hear a faint Manehattan accent. "Well, I haven't written any books, but I did write a short story titled, 'A Mare's Eternal Winter'," I explained. "Huh, cool! I never read it, but my brother Whirl Spin had! He told me he really enjoyed that one," Lilac explained. "You live around here?" she asked. I was shocked at the question and I didn't know how to feel. "Huh, a few blocks away, why?" I asked, genuinely confused. "Alone?" Lilac asked. "With my mom and dad, but that's why I have this job, to save up for an apartment ," I explained. "Awe, how cute! Tell you what, I can hang around the ice cream shop across the road, and when your shift is over, we can hangout at your place, how about it, Quill?" she said. Now here I had two options. Option one: squeal up and down like a crazy pony because she just met me and wanted to be my friend, or option two: play nonchalance and pretend that it's just an ordinary offer from Heather. I picked option two. "Sure, sounds cool!" "Awesome!" she said, excitedly. We stayed there in silence for the rest of the five minutes her sister was looking at the paintings. Her sister walked up to me and asked, "When is the next auction?" "Next week, Wednesday afternoon," I explained. She nodded and left, Lilac fallowing her. I had about a twenty five minute time frame until the end of my shift. I was so excited that I worked faster than my co-workers just wanting the shift to be done! I had no idea why I was so excited, why she was so beautiful to me, or why she made me feel so happy! But, being nineteen, emotions are still everywhere, though evening out. I didn't know then, what I know now. I was in love with Lilac Shimmer! Soon after we started to hang out, she confessed to me that she was bisexual and that she actually had a really big crush on me. I wanted to say that I was gay too, but I was scared. That night, I got the courage to walk up to my parents and tell them. "Sugar, Chocolate," I said, with purpose. "What's wrong, Hun?" Sugar asked. "What do you want to talk about?" Chocolate asked. "Okay, I have something to tell you. It's really hard for me to say, and I hope that you don't kick me out of the house for this," I explained, nervously now, without looking at them. "What are you talking about? Should we be worried?" Sugar asked, worriedly. "What ever it is, you can tell us!" Chocolate insisted. "Well, you know how I've been hanging out with Lilac a lot?" I asked. "Dear Celestia, you haven't been stealing again, have you?" Sugar asked, panic in her voice. "No! I promise, it's nothing like that," I explained, looking at her. She put her hoof to her chest and sighed in relief. "Sugar, Chocolate, I think I love Lilac. More than a friend," I explained, waiting for them to shout at me. "So, you're a lesbian?" Chocolate asked. "You kiss other mares?" He asked again, getting confused. "Oh, Quillian! I know that, sweetie! I've known for years now," Sugar said, sweetly and joyfully. "You knew?" Chocolate asked. "Why didn't you say anything?" I asked, relief in my voice. "It wasn't my say, Quill, it was yours!" Sugar smiled at me. "How you doing over there, Chocolate?" Sugar asked slyly. "Good, I think," Chocolate said. He wasn't against me being a lesbian, he was just really confused at the concept that his daughter was one. Confused, but supportive none the less. Lilac and I started dating right away, after I explained the situation to Pony Joe of course, he was heart broken, but understood. You can imagine how Canterlot deals with mares as a couple. Again I was discriminated against, and again I wrote about it. It took month, but I was finally done a novel about a gay couple, two stallions. It was banned from Canterlot, Los Pegasus, Dodge Junction, and Baltimare. Not because of any erotic sex or anything like that, it was just a simple love story between two stallions who despite all who say it's wrong, love each other and don't care what every pony else says. I actually had to take a train to Manehattan to get it published because my publisher didn't want anything to do with it. Lilac loved it, of course, even appreciated me dedicating it in her honour. "How did I become so lucky?" she asked, kissing my cheek. "I wouldn't know, but I'm the lucky one, Lil!" I responded, nudging her shoulder. And so, we went on for almost two years, basking in the hate we'd get! We didn't care, we were in love. She'd take me to soccer games and air hockey games, and in return I'd bring her on book tours and signings. Though my publisher didn't like the novel, he didn't know that I was lesbian so he still worked with me, at least for a little bit longer. That's actually how me, Heather, and Honey Dew reconnected! I was in Manehattan signing books at the Show Theater and it had already been a really long day. Then, I heard a familiar voice. "Wow, look at you, Ms. famous author!" I looked up and I saw Honey Dew. I shrieked with joy seeing the unicorn in front of me. I wrapped my hooves around her and she did the same. "Honey Dew! I missed you so much!" I said, nearly crying. "I missed you too!" she said, nearly crying too. "Did you want me to sign the book?" I asked, whipping formed tears from my eyes. "Yes! I'd love that!" she exclaimed. So I did. We hugged goodbye as I whispered, "Write to me, I'm still living at my parent's house!" "Okay!" Honey Dew whispered back. So, we set up a time where all three of us could catch up, and we did. A few months after the visit in Manehattan, I was twenty one, Sugar got really sick and had to go to the hospital. Once there we found out that it was a severe case of pneumonia and they didn't know if we got there in time or not. She died a few weeks later. The funeral was small only a few close family members and friends came, and I finally got to meet Chocolate's uncle. Heather and Honey Dew came as well, I'm glad they did. I can't remember much of the funeral. All those years of repressing those memories makes it hard to recall exactly what happened. But I was sad, of course, we were all sad. And I did something that I never thought I would do. Cry. I hadn't cried since I lost Summer, and I swore that I wouldn't cry again. But there I was. Sugar was dead, and I cried. I tried writing stories and poems, explaining the pain, but it didn't come easy and I scrapped all of the ideas. Even now I have no memory of any thought process I had. I also went to the orphanage where I grew up. Hoping that Velvet would let me talk a while about my problems. I arrived there on a very cloudy day, and there was rumors of rain. It rained during Sugar's funeral. I entered the yard where a few of the fillies and colts were playing. they ran up to me, excited to see a real famous pony even though I wasn't known very well yet. "Ms. Quill! I want to be just like you when I grow up!" a young earth pony colt announced. I looked down at him. He was burnt orange with a dark green mane and dark purple eyes. "What's your name?" I asked, sweetly. "Red Raven!" announced the colt proudly. "Red Raven, I'll look for your name on book shelves," I said. That made him jump in excitement. "What's all the commotion outside?" I heard and elderly British voice call. "Wow, Velvet, still here after all these years? I thought once you got rid of me, you would have retired to Los Pegasus or something," I say, loud enough for her to hear me. "Quillian! It's good to see you again! I understood from your last letter that you didn't need my help anymore, I was upset but very proud of you for moving on," Velvet said, walking up to hug me. I hugged back. "I thought so too, but, my mother died recently, and I wanted to have a talk with you. Chocolate would just start crying, and Honey Dew and Heather would try to avoid the topic all together," I explained. "Oh, yes, I read it in the obituary. I'm so sorry, Quill. Although, I am happy you are still friends with your fillyhood companions," Velvet offered, giving me another hug. "Yeah, they've been helpful, but honestly, a little over bearing. I love them, but I think I need time away from everyone and just have a nice, quite, conversation," I explained. "I understand, please, come to my office," Velvet said, leading me away from the foals. "Come now, my little ponies, don't crowd!" Velvet asked. immediately they all disperse and go off playing again. "Wow, so well behaved," I commented. "Have you gotten any pony like me and Summer here?" I asked, genuinely curious. "Oh, there has always been times where I had a few misbehaved fillies and colts. You'll find that a filly named Daring Danger and a colt names Electric Buzz are the two hooligans this time. They are both about ten years old now," she explained. "But I pray to Celestia that neither of them end up like Chatter Box," Velvet said, lowering her voice and sounding concerned and panicked. "That was awful, wasn't it? I saw it in the paper one morning and just thought of the fact that he was a colt once, living here, with all of us. Who would have guessed that he would one day be capable of... rape," I explained, walking into her office. "Do you know if she kept the foal?" Velvet asked, worried. "No, it didn't say in the paper and it would have been too awkward for me to see her after all those years. Besides, that was right about the time my life was starting to feel normal again and I was focused on graduating," I explained, regretting that I didn't go anyway. I later discovered that Summer indeed birthed the foal, but didn't keep it. Instead, she gave it to Ponyville orphanage. Velvet looked at me seriously, "You grew up, Quill, faster than I'd like to admit," she said. "All thanks to you, Velvet. If it weren't for you taking me in, and giving me the chance to better myself, I don't know where I'd be," I explained, smiling at my old caretaker. "Have I ever told you how you came to the orphanage?" Velvet asked. I nodded, "My parents were too poor to take care of me, barely enough money to take care of themselves. They died soon after from the cold that winter," I explained. "Good, I couldn't remember if I had or not," Velvet said. "I miss her, so much," I said, tears falling. "I know Quill, I felt the same when my parents died a few years ago," Velvet explained, coming towards me for a hug. "I hurt, and the pain won't go away! Poor Chocolate is just beside himself with sadness!" I explained, crying into her shoulder. "The pain didn't go away for me either, Quill. But I did what I'm about to suggest to you," Velvet said. I said nothing, just continued to cry. "I left, I left the city to clear my head. I didn't leave forever, as you can tell, but I left until I felt better about the situation I was in," she explained. "Where did you go?" I asked, but muffled by the fact I was in her shoulder crying. "Me? I went to Appleusa. But you don't have to go there if you don't want, I have family friends who live in Cloudsdale, their daughter lives in Ponyville, do you want to live with them?" she explained. "If I'm going to heal, I'd rather live alone. You said their daughter lives in Ponyville? Do you think I could get a house there? To rent I mean," I explained. I wanted to do this on my own, though I did know that having support was the right thing to have in that situation. So that's what I opted for. So, I told Chocolate my plan, packed, placed him in Heather's home, closer to the middle of Canterlot, said goodbye to them, and left the next day. That all took about five months to plan and do. I was on my way to Ponyville. To the house i had gotten a deal on to rent three months before. Little did I know that my life would be a lot more involved in doing so.