//------------------------------// // Griffin the Brushoff // Story: Just a Walk in Equestria (JaWiE), Volume 1 // by Warden of Monsters //------------------------------// Never in all my life have I been so angry... There is no word in any language for how excruciatingly livid my discovery has made me... These ponies are supposed to be better than humans could ever hope to be. They're supposed to be the race that settles disputes of land with a pie-fight for crying out loud! Yet they have tools of murder?! Spears, Swords, Shields, and other ancient weaponry I can live with since they're so ceremonial, but this crosses a line for me. "Even though the firearms Bonbon explained to me are ancient by our standards, no more advanced than the Musket rifle, or Flintlock pistol, it's just so wrong," I rant to Twilight as she conducts her chemistry experiment. "You're all supposed to be the sunshine, and rainbows! Love and tolerance!" Twilight gives me an annoyed look, "Look Harley, I understand you're disappointed we're not all you thought we were cracked up to be. If it's any consolation any form of firearm, or explosive is strictly prohibited by the law, and all substances used for them are carefully monitored all across Equestria." "But you shouldn't have them to begin with!" I get to my feet, pulling at my hair, "This is a kid's show! For little girls! I never bought any of the toys, but I can promise you that no Twilight Sparkle figurine came with a sidearm accessory!" Twilight groans, "Harley, I really don't care right now, and why should you? We have guns, what can you do about it? Even if you went around Equestria to destroy every gun you could find then what would that do? We still know about them, and the princesses do that anyways." "You shouldn't need them to begin with since you have the princesses," I shout. "I mean they alone are more devistating than any weapon from my world! If Luna left the moon in the sky, or Celestia left the sun up high then the world would come to an end in a matter of weeks, months tops! Not to mention they're so damn powerful on their own!" Twilight facehoofs, "Will you give it a rest already?! First of all you're not being fair to the princesses, they can't be everywhere to solve every problem. As for guns... There's nothing to be done! It is how it is, and complaining to me, or anypony for that matter isn't going to solve anything! Especially if there is nothing to solve!" I slam a fist into a wall, making a shelf fall as I storm out of the library. I need to get my wits about me. But then... What's the point? I've obviously misjudged these ponies, and what if there is more to them than I don't know? I bet if I looked I'd find a pony incarnation of Jack the Ripper in the history books. Maybe Vlad the Impaler, Atila the Hun, Adolf Hitler... What if these ponies are really no different than my own race? "So what was that about a kid show?" I nearly jump out of my skin, and whirl to see Rainbow hovering nearby with Pinkie under her. Pinkie smiles up at me, "So in your world our world is a cartoon used to market toys to little girls?! That's so neat!" Balling my fists I hiss, "Girls just stop, I am not in the mood to deal with-" Rainbow cuts me off, "So that means you know the future right? Do I get into the Wonderbolts?" Pinkie bounces up to eye level, "Do I get to make the best treats ever tasted by pony kind?" "Do I get to meet Spitfire? I bet we get to be BFFs!" "Do I get to throw a party in Canterlot?!" "Do I get the official record for faster flier in the history of Equestria?! "Do I get to throw a party for all Equestria?!" Finally I can't take it, and roar, "BACK OFF!" My two friends take a reflexive step back while i try to keep my rage in check. Then I storm off with a growl before I do anything I'll regret. Maybe I'll visit Rarity, have a cup of tea, see if she can talk me down. When I knock on her door she answers with a smile, "Oh Harley, thank you for stopping by, I need a little help reorganizing my spools, and fabrics." Nodding I stoop to get inside, "Thanks Rarity, sounds like the perfect thing to clear my head." She furrows her eyebrows at me, "Dear, is there something bothering-ACHOO!" She sneezes into a hoof a few times, each sneeze lifting her an inch off the floor. Frowning I ask, "Are you alright?" She nods as she levitates over a handkerchief, and dabs at her snoot. "Yes I'm quite alright, simply the aftermath of a harmless prank from Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie Pie roughly an hour ago." My eyes fall on a case of potted flowers... That's the last straw. Throwing my hands to the ceiling I shout, "And the good news just keeps coming!" Rarity jumps at my outburst, and gives me a disapproving look. "My word, what has gotten into you?" I count backwards from ten, and while it doesn't exactly calm me down it helps me put my thoughts in order. "...You're bound to hear it from the others soon enough... Rarity, please show me the stuff that needs organizing, and if you don't mind I need a cup of jasmine tea. It's been a rough 24 hours..." As I practice magic by organizing the cloth by color, and shade with my levitation I calmly tell Rarity the full truth. About my origin, about the tv show, and finally about the guns. This along with a sweet herbal tea does calm me down a great bit, and helps me pull my head together enough to talk rationally with her. I do take care not to mention Bonbon's secret identity, or anything else relating to my mission from the princess though. "Well," she says softly. "This is a lot to take in so please understand my hesitation... But from the sounds of things you feel... Betrayed." "That... Sounds fair enough," I muse as I sip my tea, and then levitate the pot to pour myself more. "Betrayed by your friend for looking through your things," Rarity says. "I certainly know I would be livid if somepony went through my diary." "Gabby Gums," I mutter softly onto the edge of my cup, and feel a small smile. Rarity, not having heard me, continues, "And then you feel as if pony kind betrayed you somehow? It's not as if we were keeping it from you Darling, and certainly we can't control what is in that show you adore." Soflty I set my cup down, "...You're right Rarity...I guess...I just... There was so much wrong with my life, so much I want to forget, and undo... MLP was an innocent escape for me, my little candyland where I could shut the world out for a while. After all humanity is a race forged by war upon war. The country I lived in was only a little over 200 years old, and already had a revolution, a civil war, the war of 1812, a domestic war with the native folk, part taken in two World Wars, and even now... So many wars... Wars on drugs, terrorism, religion, race, and if I could get the internet here I could show you some of the feuds that happen over one social media site called Facebook, plenty of evidence there showing humanity's warmongering is so far from over." I shake my head softly as I rest my elbows on the table, "But there's none of that here... Ponies are so peaceful so even seeing them having a sliver of humanity's violent, murderous nature just seems... So very, very wrong." The room is quiet for a few minutes, and then Rarity hugs me around the middle. Softly I hug her back as she rests her face against my belly. "I'm sorry Harley... I'm so sorry you feel that way. And if you want my opinion, maybe you were brought here by some higher being who decided it should fall on your shoulders to warn us of dangers like this, and help us avoid them." Leaning back to look up at me she says, "You just need to understand, these mistakes you obsess over are not yours. You did not start, nor take place in any of the wars you mention I assume?" I shake my head, "No... No I didn't. I mean, my dad is a veteran, but in truth I always felt bad for soldiers. My uncle once told me of how while in training he had to shoot a civilian car on orders from his commander... Inside were dummies of civilians... But... He... Ever since then I believed that training to take part in a war breaks you, and takes away that one thing that stops you from killing... And part of me has always worried that if I lost that part of me that I would... Enjoy it... I have a very violent nature Rarity." She pats a hoof on my chest, "Maybe Harley, maybe, but look at you now. You want to do what's right, and be better than all these things you're talking about. That's why this is all bothering you so badly. So if you don't want to be bad... Then don't be. And just know all over Equestria hundreds of ponies are making that same choice. As a friend of ours would say, in every bunch there are a few bad apples, but there are also excellently ripened fruits worth growing." I rub her shoulders as I process this, and then smile. I put a kiss beside her horn as so let her go, "Thank you Rarity... I really needed that." She clears her throat as she steps back, "Right, well... What made you so upset here recently that warranted that outburst- ACHOO!" "Hm? Oh, it was the prank. It happened in one of the earliest episodes of the show. Sneezing powder for you, disappearing ink for Twilight, they painted all of Applejack's apples..." Rarity furrows her eyebrows, "How is that a prank?" "Well I never said they were really good at pranking. I mean that one almost crosses a line, messing with Applejack's livelihood. I mean if the paint didn't wash right off... Well, think of it as somepony dying all this cloth black, but the dye washes out flawlessly." Rarity looks to her material with a worried expression, "I... See... And Fluttershy?" "They decided to spare her, she's too sensitive for this stuff." "Alright, but I don't see why that is worth getting so upset over..." "Because one of the more disliked characters in the show makes a debut this episode," I explain. "At least until the redemption episode in Season 5." Rarity raises her eyebrows, "And which season are we in now?" "The first one," I say. "Look Rarity, I'd love to tell you more, it's just... Well I don't want to mess with the order of events. If I set off some kind of Butterfly Effect then the future becomes unpredicable, and could spell disaster for Equestria." "Oh, right," she says, fussing with her hair. I offer a soft smile, "...But...I can say this. I can't say when, how, or why... But eventually you expand your business to a boutique in Canterlot." She perks up with big smile, and hugs me again, "Oh thank you Harley! Thank you so very much!" I pat her back, and stand, "Thanks for the tea, and the talk Rarity... I need to go patch things up with Bonbon... I kind of... Blew up at her..." "Oh my..." Rarity offers me a cringing sort of smile, "Well... Best of luck Darling." Nodding to her I take my leave, stepping out into the sunny streets of Ponyville. I walk for a while, thinking to myself just what I want to say to Bonbon. I feel a lot better now. I mean in my world I never really related to Rarity much, mostly to Fluttershy, and Applejack. But she's such a soothing presence to me... I think I have a best friend in this world now. Up ahead I spot Derpy with a bucket on her head, the Doctor trying to pull it off. Jogging over I grab the bucket, and pull while the Doctor pulls Derpy from behind. They both smile when they see me, and Derpy hugs me, "Heya Harley!" I chuckle while ruffling her mane, "Hey Derpy, hey Doc. What was that all about?" "I saw a frog," Derpy giggles. Rolling my eyes with a smile I say, "Riiiiiight... Hey, either of you seen Bonbon?" The Doctor taps his chin, "Mmm... Oh yes, she left a note for you with me. Also I finished charging you device." He pulls both items out of his saddlebags, and offers them to me. I take them with a nod of thanks, and sure enough the phone is back up to 100%. "I was fascinated with the battery," the Doctor says. "I couldn't help taking it apart. Luckily after several tests I was able to replace it with a new one I made just for it. The phone now runs on magic, just like most our appliances." "Wow, thanks Doc, that's pretty handy," I say with a big smile. "Say, uh... Mind if I drop by your place tonight, there's something I wanna show you." "Of course Harley. Now I hope you'll excuse me, but I have a few errands to get done. Alon-zey!" He trots off, and leave me with his bubbly wall-eyed companion. While Derpy admires stuff through a shop window I open Bonbon's note. Dear Harley, I realize I've upset you, and for that I'm sorry. However my life experiences have left me with a policy to give as much trust as I'm given. Therefore I'm sorry to say I'm no longer comfortable keeping you under my roof. Rest assured I am looking for a new place for you to live, someplace where you won't be bothered. Feel free to stay with me though until I find someplace suitable. Yours truly, Bonbon My heart sinks as I read the letter over again, and fold it up. Derpy looks up at me with a tilted head, "Whatcha sad about?" "...I'm being evicted," I say with an awkward smile. "I really need to get a place of my own." Derpy taps her chin, "Well... There is a lot of land around town, but it's not cheap. Plus you're looking at building expenses... Unless you're willing to buy a house here in town. I hear Berry Punch is renting out a room for the time being." "Thanks Derpy, I'll think about it," I reply, and start walking again. Might as well shop a little, we ran out of milk this morning after all. ... The next day is sunny again, and I'm up on a rooftop looking down at the ponies in the market. They all look so peaceful... Then I spot them, Rainbow Dash, and Gilda the Griffon. Again I marvel how remarkable it is to see Equestrian creatures in the flesh. Just looking at Gilda is bringing a ton of animal documentaries to mind. The beak, the claws, the muscles... Pretty much everything about her leaves me convinced that this is one creature one simply does not fuck with. Across the road I spot Pinkie watching Gilda, and I tilt my head. I have a weird feeling this is important, not to the Canon, but to me... My blood boils when Gilda sends Fluttershy off crying like that, and it makes me wanna break a wagon over her head. Then my eyes drift back to Pinkie... And it hits me. Ponies really are a better race than humans. Pinkie saw everything that just happened, but instead of trying to get even with Gilda I remember how she threw a party for her to make her lighten up, get on better terms with the other ponies. If only RD hadn't set up all those pranks. Sighing I rest my head on my hand, "I could tell Dashie not to do it... But... No, no it needs to happen. They'll all be better for the experience anyways." Meanwhile I need to find a way to apologize to Bonbon... After I... I don't want to think about it. I cross my arms, and then I get an idea. A few hours later Pinkie has a party all set up for Gilda, and no pony who can help it is missing this party. Many of them have never even seen a griffon before, and the treats are to die for. Tucked under my arm is a wrapped package, but this present isn't for Gilda. A quick survey of the room reveals my target. Bonbon is chatting with a mare I don't recognize, and Lyra is off getting them punch. So I take a breath, and walk over as Bonbon finishes her conversation. She regards me coldly, "Hello." Clearing my throat I hold the present out to her, "Listen... I overreacted the other day, big time." "You threw me into the hallway," she says flatly. "By my tail." I wince, "I know..." Bonbon looks down with a slight irritated expression, "I guess I might have had it coming though... I just wanted to make sure..." Her eyes flick to Lyra, but I pretend not to notice. "To make sure I wasn't planning to hurt somepony," I finish for her. "I understand... I should have trusted you more. If this thing is going to work we'll need to rely on each other... So here. It's yours." Looking up she frowns as she takes my present in her teeth. She unwraps it, and freezes... It's my gun case. She looks up at me in shock, a question in her eyes. "I know, illegal," I say quietly. "So this is me giving you my trust. You can either help me destroy it, or we can talk to the Princess about being allowed to keep it." Bonbon smiles at me, and then sets the box aside so she can hug me, "Alright... Mutually forgiven?" "Mutually forgiven," I agree. After that the party went by the script pretty much. I have to admit it is hilarious to see Gilda being the butt of so many jokes. Though I admit she scares me when she finally roars, blowing a fuse. Bonbon, and I both sort of shield Lyra on reflex, and share a small smile as Gilda goes on her rant. Then I have another thought, and an idea for insurance. "I'll be back," I tell Bonbon as I slip out the back of Sugarcube Corner. I position myself on the roof, and wait until Gilda flies out. When she does I whistle sharply, and beckon her up. "What do you want?" She growls as she looks me over, hovering in place in front of me. "Just a friend willing to put up with weird requests," I say as I hold up a hand, palm up. "Carbon put under extreme pressure, and heat..." In a flash of Magic a diamond appears in my hand the size of my palm. Gilda eyes it, and seems to relax a bit, "What kind of requests?" "Just one," I reply. "If within the next 2 years Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie Pie visit Griffonstone... I want you to not avoid them. You don't have to seek them out, just don't avoid them." She frowns, glancing at the gem. Then she snatches it from me, "Fine! Deal!" Then she starts flying for the train station. Sighing I summon the book for me to write to Celestia in, and pull a pen from my pocket. She'll want a report on this episode I suppose. I hold the pen over the paper while I think, and then with a smirk I start to write. Dear Princess Luna, Another episode of Season 1 has come to a close, "Griffon the Brushoff." Nothing very major happened here today, just an old friend of Rainbow Dash's dropped by town, a griffon named Gilda. It didn't end on the friendliest of terms for Gilda, but it has brought the bearers of the Elements of Harmony a little closer together. Maybe you could ask Celestia to see Twilight's letter on the matter. Speaking of which, I have a lesson of my own that I learned today. I was enraged when I found out ponies had discovered firearms, but after Rarity helped me cool my head I realized something. Whether as a species, or as individuals everyone makes mistakes from time to time. But the best folks are the ones who can own those mistakes, and do what they can to correct them. A lesson I am taking firmly to heart, and will do my best to live by. I will send my next report soon. Sincerely, Harley With that I close the book, and look down to see Bonbon waving at me with Lyra, and the Doctor. Something lands on my back, and I look over my shoulder to see Derpy giving me a wall-eyed smile. Sure enough, these are some good apples.