//------------------------------// // Day 2: Friendship Is Chaos // Story: Scootaloo's Chaotic Family // by Schrodinger's Pony //------------------------------// The mighty Discord, proud and free, sleeps in his humble habitat the stove. Nopony dares approach this majestic and untouchable creature. The immortal glory of the Discord sleeping, cannot be contained by mere photographs, only by a painting, painted by a dying earth pony, colored in paints made from ground unicorn horns, and brushed with the feathers of a Pegasus. And even then, the artist would have to sell his soul at the end, to truly capture the essence of majesty emanating from the most dangerous thing in Equestria. And yet, Princess Cadence still found it in her to poke her head into my oven the next morning at, of all times, six thirty in the morning. I was tempted to turn her into Shining Armor’s breakfast. I’m sure I could have rationalized it to benefit Scootaloo in some way. Apparently, she wanted me to ‘be awake when Scootaloo’s awake, and make her breakfast like a regular dad’. I have since asked around, and realized that except for on special occasions no father does this! They all cheap out and give their kids cereal, because that is the easiest thing in the world for them to prepare so they can feed themselves! I’m onto your games, Cadence. Of course, I wasn’t onto her games just then, so I just cracked a few eggs, and poured out a full and complete breakfast. “Are you sure this is safe to feed a foal?” Princess Cadence asked, suspiciously sniffing the bowl of French toast. “Well I wouldn’t be able to make it if it wasn’t safe for her would I?” Discord asked. Princess Cadence decided to make sure by testing each one of the dishes Discord prepared. Sometimes she’d add a pinch of salt, or some other herb he didn’t even know existed. Discord watched, regally, before deciding he wasn’t needed and hung from his horns in the ceiling to go back to sleep. Only to be woken up seven and three quarters of a minute later by the sound of a certain orange filly opening the door to the kitchen, and the princess’s resulting coos of affection. “Good morning sweetie, did you sleep well?” Scootaloo yawned, and smiled. “Yeah. I’ve never slept on a cloud bed before. It was wonderful. But why is my room in the basement?” The mighty Discord decided the confused glare from the princess was a worthy offering for an answer. “The house changes.” He shrugged, and popped himself out of the ceiling, deciding he may as well not get any sleep as get some sleep. “What do you mean the house changes?” Scootaloo asked. Discord shrugged. “I mean the house changes. I thought it would be an interesting experience for you.” Scootaloo grinned, sheepishly. “Well… yeah… I guess that sounds cool, but could the house not change my room to the basement?” Discord shrugged. “Sure, I guess. Hey look, breakfast.” He sat down eagerly, and grabbed a plate. He snapped his fingers, and was irritated when the food didn’t come onto his plate singing and dancing. “Could you pass the waffles?” Scootaloo climbed onto her own seat, and looked at all the confections. She pushed a plate of rainbow polka-dotted waffles towards him. Discord shook his head. “No no, those are rippled pancakes. The waffles are flat.” Scootaloo nodded and pushed what looked like upside down pancakes towards him. He stuck his fork in the pile and shoved it down his throat. And then he choked. It turned out, that after a thousand years of shoving whole buffet tables down his throat at a time, and drinking through straws that twirled every which way and sometimes around the globe, he’d forgotten how to eat properly without magic. Scootaloo leaped across the table and head-butted him in the chest, causing Discord to hork out the pile of waffles. He spluttered for a moment before putting on the most nonchalantingest look he could. “I meant to do that.” “Did you?” Scootaloo asked. “Yes. I thought it would be more interesting than just eating.” Discord imperiously tried to sip from his drink, but found that his bendy straw was too long and too twirly, and he couldn’t suck the orange juice up. Taking such a deep breath to try hurt his throat even more, and he star wheezing and hacking. Scootaloo patted him on the back. “It’s okay.” She said. “I’ve forgotten how to eat once or twice.” The Princess gasped. “Oh, you poor dear!” Discord rolled his eyes. Here was this filly trying to relate to him. “I didn’t forget how to eat.” He said, picking up some of the mushed up waffles in his talon. “I just stick out my tongue, put the food on it, then stick it back in.” He proceeded to do just that, and promptly choked on his breakfast again, forcing Scootaloo to save his life for the second time. “Ugh… I think the problem is the food.” Discord nodded, agreeing with his decision. “Yes, I made this food more you, not for me. That’s why I’m having problems eating it. It’s filly food.” He sniffed and strode imperiously from the table. Scootaloo frowned. “All right then.” She said. “If you’re not going to eat, I guess I’ll have to.” Looking around, she found an apple that looked a lot like a banana, and peeled it. “I guess I’ll just have to open my mouth wide.” Discord watched, as she hovered over the banapple. “And bite down on a small, manageable portion.” She bit off the tip of the banapple. “Anthen… tchew i’… tua pulp.” She said, through mouthfuls. Discord observed this spectacle. “Ha!” Discord laughed. “I bet that’s just what you want, isn’t it? This whole delicious breakfast to yourself?” He sat down again, and picked up a drumstick of cereal. Cautiously, he opened his mouth. He moved to take a bite out of it, then caught Scootaloo watching, and took a slightly smaller bite. Then… he wasn’t quite clear what chewing entailed, but Scootaloo took another bite of her banapple just then, and he mimicked her jaw movements. “Yow!” He spat out his food again. “The food attacked me!” Princess Cadence moved forward for a better look. “The food didn’t attack you.” Princess Cadence explained. “You just bit yourself with that great big tooth of yours.” Discord felt around with his tongue. His tooth was sharp. He was quite proud of it. It was sharper then even a dragon’s tooth. He’d once taken a bite out of the moon! Although, that might have been aided by magic. Actually… a lot of what I did was aided by magic. And when I realized I couldn’t even eat without it… the prospect of only using my magic for others became a lot more intimidating. “Don’t worry.” Cadence said patronizingly. “I’m sure we’ll be able to teach you how to eat properly.” “What do you mean?” Scootaloo asked, batting her eyelashes with an innocence that only came with years of practice. “I thought Discord knew how to eat?” “Of course I know how to eat!” Discord roared, picking up the cereal drumstick again. “In fact, I bet I can finish this before you can finish your banapple!” “You’re on!” Scootaloo cheered. The race wasn’t very interesting, but it was surprisingly fun. Probably because I won. Scootaloo was eating so slow, you’d think she was trying to lose! Meanwhile, I bit myself more then I intended… Well, only once or twice more… No more then half a dozen… Well, I didn’t expect to bite myself at all you see… Anyway, the point is that I won! Even though Princess Cadence was snickering something about father daughter bonding right where she knew I could hear her as some sort of distractionary tactic. Victory, and my blood, never tasted so good. After the race, Scootaloo pushed herself away from the table, much to the royal pain’s chagrin. “Where do you think you’re going?” She asked. “I’m gonna go see my friends!” Scootaloo beamed. “I haven’t seen them since your wedding. I’ve been too busy with everypony trying to get me to sign papers or not sign papers and stuff.” “But you haven’t even eaten a proper breakfast!” Cadence pushed her back towards her seat at the table. “I’m not hungry.” Scootaloo protested. “I don’t usually eat much for breakfast.” This, apparently, was the wrong thing to say. Princess Cadence forced her to eat like some sort of pancake torturer! I tried to intervene on Scootaloo’s behalf, but the pink menace wouldn’t let it go. Especially when my stomach growled at her. I tried to convince her it was because I was so mad my internal organs were growling at her, but she insisted that I eat as well. And to add to the gall of it, she put a giant marshmallow on my teeth while I eat! As if I weren’t able to eat without cutting myself? … I am able to eat without cutting myself. I don’t care what you think. I am Discord! The laws of physics bow before me! You think I cannot master my own mouth!? Anyway, by the time we left the breakfast table, Scootaloo was so full I had to roll her out on her red wagon. Shining Armor came in late, and ate a hurried breakfast before following us out. Apparantly, he was immune to her evil eating hypnotism. “You know, I pity you when you have kids.” I told him. “She’d going to make you get up at the crack of dawn to make breakfast for them. You poor, poor stallion.” To repay me for my kind warning, he stepped on my tail. Honestly, I expected more from the Captain Of The Guard then schoolyard bullying tactics. As we left the house, Scootaloo screamed. She’d never seen a house with a mouth before. The House rolled out its tongue so as to allow Scootaloo’s wagon through. Shining Armor hurried out as if the House would eat him at any moment. Over night, the house had changed into a dragon. A dragon with windows, and a door on the back of his throat. “Goodbye Boss, Miss, Sir.” It said. “You can talk!” Scootaloo explained. The House seemed to ponder this. “Yus Miss.” It said. Scootaloo looked at me, as if she was expecting more. Discord shrugged. It’s not like I plan these things. “But you can talk!” She repeated at the house. The House nodded. “Yus Miss.” It repeated. “How can you talk!?” She asked. The House was lost in thought. “…I ‘ave a mouth Miss.” It pointed out, helpfully. “Discord, why is my wife inside a dragon!?” Shining Armor yelled. Discord sighed. “Oh, must I explain everything?” He asked. “It’s like I already explained to Scootaloo, the house changes.” “I’m going to need a little more than that.” Shining Armor stamped his hoof impatiently. “That’s so cool.” Scootaloo said, in barely a whisper. Discord smiled, and decided her saving my life twice before breakfast was an acceptable trade for an answer. So, he summoned a bag and showed it to her. “Can you see what’s in this bag?” he asked. She looked inside. “It’s a stopwatch.” She said. She was wrong. It was a fogwatch. “Eh, close enough.” He shrugged. Then he shook the bag, and showed it to her again. “Now what’s inside it?” “The same thing, only in pieces.” Scootaloo said. This time she was right. “There are two types of chaos.” Discord explained. “The first type of chaos, is harmony.” “Harmony isn’t chaos.” Shining Armor said. He was so wrong. He was wrong so hard, he was right. It was a whole circle of wrong-ness. “WRONG!” Discord cheered. “A wielder of harmonic chaos would have, say brought the bag and the watch together. It would have been a golden bag that opened or closed by clockwork. Or it would have been a bag that could tell time. Both of which are impossible, so don’t you tell me it’s not chaotic! But me, I use the other kind of chaos magic.” Scootaloo was confused. “What does this have to do with House?” She asked. Discord showed her the bag again. “Here’s what it has to do with the House. The first thing about chaos magic, and the real difference between what I do and what Unicorns can do, is that chaos cannot create or destroy anything. It’s like taking a deck of cards and shuffling them. They’re the same cards, they’re just out of order.” “My type of magic takes things apart, makes them go out of order.” I showed her the bag again. “The house is still the same. It still has all of its pieces. It still has what makes it a house; a kitchen, a dining room, a family room, a couple of bathrooms, a couple of bedrooms, a basement, a second floor, doors, windows, infrastructure, personality, etc… BUT! Now, I’ve taken it apart, and I’m shuffling it around, like pieces of a watch in a bag. Sometimes they’ll be in a different order. Sometimes, miraculously, two parts will fit together like they’re supposed to. Sometimes one part will be more prominent then the others. Discorded. Do you follow?” Scootaloo seemed to follow. “I don’t get it.” She said. Eh, she was only a filly. Discord shrugged. “I made the house talk.” Discord said. “From now on it’ll talk. Hey! Uh… House!” “Yus Boss?” House said. “Scootaloo wants her bedroom to be second floor at all times!” The House pondered this. “A’right Boss.” “Now come on.” Discord began to roll Scootaloo along on her wagon again. “Let’s go meet these friends of yours.” Scootaloo suddenly brightened up. “Waitaminute! You said harmony was a type of chaos right?” She asked. Discord laughed. “Well of course it is! Look at the Elements of Harmony! An obsessive compulsive bookworm who doesn’t even know how important or how old she is, and act’s like she’s your age…” “Hey!” Shining Armor glared, warningly. Discord rolled his eyes. It wasn’t like he’d made a rule against making fun of her when she wasn’t around. “… A farm pony with absolutely zero manners, a self-absorbed, generous fashionista who takes as much as she gives, a Pegasus who thinks her picture should be under ‘awesome’ in the dictionary, a shy critter-loving recluse who’s so weak and helpless that she can’t be beaten because she’ll never fight, and… and… Pinkie Pie!” Discord kicked a stone at his feet. In one of his rare moments of sharing, he confided in Scootaloo. “I once played a game of ‘who can think up the most chaotic thing’ with Starswirl the Bearded. He won on his first go with ‘friendship’.” “But you can’t use that type of chaos can you?” Scootaloo asked. Discord laughed. “I should say not!” He said. “I’m a villain! The scourge of Equestria! I don’t bring things together, I tear them apart!” “But you want to!” Discord froze as Scootaloo clapped her hooves. “You want to make friends! You’re jealous!” Discord raised an eyebrow. “Listen, Scootaloo, let me spell something out for you.” He said. “I’m a force of nature. I’m ten times worse than a hurricane, a forest fire, and a tsunami combined. Forces of nature don’t get jealous.” “They don’t eat breakfast either.” Scootaloo said, pointing to the kitty bandaid on Discord’s chin where he’d kept biting himself as he chewed. “The official story is, I cut myself shaving.” Discord muttered. “Forces of nature can shave. Tsunamis shave all the time.” “You know what?” Scootaloo asked. “I’m gonna find you a friend.” Discord chuckled. “Oh, that’s a good one.” He laughed. “Makes sure this friend is funny, and while you’re at it, purple with yellow polka dots.” Then a pile of alfalfa ran past. Said alfalfa was in the shape of a certain unicorn, and had several bite marks in it. As it ran past it was followed in a race to the death with the fifty deadly bunnies who had not yet given up the chase. “… Is that the alfalfa you teleported Twilight out of last night?” Scootaloo asked. “Don’t pay any attention to it.” Discord said, waving it away. “If you do, it might become a running gag.” “A what?” Scootaloo asked. “It looked like running alfalfa to me.” But Discord decided that it wouldn’t do to answer that particular question, and so he just pulled Scootaloo into town without a word. Shining Armor took one last nervous look at the running alfalfa, and then at the House before following them warily. Apparently, word had gotten around that the great and mighty Discord had come to town. But instead of greeting him with fanfare and red carpets as was proper, they had doors shut and windows barred. “Are those… are those ponies wearing hazmat suits?” Discord asked, pointing to the window of a house that apparently couldn’t afford curtains. The ponies in the window ducked the second they realized he was looking their way. “I didn’t know those were still around.” Shining Armor said with a nostalgic smile. “Canterlot was supplied with anti-magical hazmat suits when Twilight was there studying with the princess as well. Standard procedure to ensure the citizens weren’t spontaneously transformed into plantlife. I’m surprised Celestia didn’t keep her in some remote desert facility for the majority of her childhood.” He glanced at Discord. “Twilight can control herself now, but I imagine after your invasion the ponies of Canterlot found a demanding market for these suits in Ponyville.” Shining Armor probably meant to jibe him, but Discord felt an overwhelming sense of pride at the fear he’d sown here. Granted, He was disgusted they’d think their little anti-Twilight suits would work against him, but it was the small sort of disgust that comes with a job too well done. They strolled in relative peace and quiet. The only pony out was a zebra, that didn’t even have the grace to run when Discord went ‘boo’! In fact, she even rolled her eyes! But that made the walk interesting. Peace and quiet was best taken in small doses. Like, really tiny doses. Miniscule. “This is so cool.” Scootaloo whispered to Shining Armor. “It’s like I have the whole town to myself.” “Don’t get used to it.” Shining Armor said. “Every battlefield is the quietest just before the biggest battles.” Scootaloo gave him an incredulous stare that I could be proud of. “This is Ponyville. Not a war zone.” Shining Armor looked a little bit perturbed. “Discord’s here. That makes it a war zone.” Discord decided he should use that sometime. It was quite an eloquent boast, should he decide to resume his quest for world domination. They reached the door to Rarity’s boutique in record time thanks to the minimal amount of traffic. By this point, Scootaloo had finished digesting, and knocked on the door herself. “So what are you planning on doing while she hangs out with her friends?” Shining Armor asked Discord conspiratorially. He shrugged. “Follow her around, and turn things into different things I suppose.” Discord said, examining his talon. Shining Armor shook his head. “Well, the faster to get rid of you I suppose.” He said. “And what, praytell, do you mean by that?” Discord asked, ignoring his talon for the moment, for the much more interesting sight of a shiny butterfly. Shiny, shiny butterfly. “I mean most fillies would be embarrassed by their dads following them around.” Shining Armor explained. Discord glared at him with the weight of twelve thousand moons. “Are you suggesting…” He asked, in a tone that made it clear that Shining Armor should not be suggesting anything in the next century. “… That Scootaloo may be embarrassed by me? So embarassed by me that your lovey dovey will decide I'm unfit to be a parent?” Shining Armor met his glare. “No.” He said. “I’m telling you.” Scootaloo knocked on the door again, and Rarity opened it. “Sweetie Belle isn’t home.” Rarity said firmly. “Do you know where she is then?” Scootaloo asked. “No.” Rarity said firmly. “And I don’t want you going near her any more.” “What!?” Scootaloo squeaked. “Why not!?” “Because of him.” Rarity pointed at Discord. “Because… um… what happened to his face?” “He cut himself shaving.” Scootaloo laughed nervously. “Well good!” Rarity huffed. “He deserves worse! And I can’t have anypony who actually wants that monster free after what he did being friends with my little sister! Good day!” She slammed the door in Scootaloo’s face. Scootaloo was pale and shaky as she made her way back to Discord and Shining Armor. “Are you okay?” Shining Armor asked. “She… she doesn’t want me to see Sweetie Belle any more.” Scootaloo said. “And what exactly is she going to do to stop you?” Discord asked. Scootaloo frowned. “She’s older than me.” She said, as if it were a rule of the universe that older mares were the boss of younger mares. Discord rolled his eyes. “Princess Celestia is older then all of your great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandparents combined!” Discord protested. “Did you just roll over when she said I couldn’t be your dad?” Scootaloo’s face brightened. “No! No I didn’t!” Shining Armor face-hoofed. “I don’t think it’s appropriate for you to be teaching Scootaloo to rebel against authority.” He said. “So write it in your fatherhood report.” Discord said, waving his comment away. “In the meantime, don’t you have another friend Scootaloo? A certain chicken in a bow?” “That’s right!” Scootaloo clapped her hooves. “Let’s go down to Apple Acres and find Applebloom!” Unfortunately, we did find Applebloom. Found Sweetie Belle too. The pair of them were in their clubhouse, half-heartedly going over their plans to achieve their cutie marks. Shining Armor and I waited behind, but Discord still heard everything. I have good ears. “Hey guys!” Scootaloo greeted them. “I haven’t seen you in weeks! What’s up?” The pair turned to her, shock clearly written in their eyes. Then Applebloom frowned. “We ain’t talkin’ to you.” Applebloom said, turning her back on Scootaloo. Scootaloo gasped. “But… but you just talked to me right now!” She said. “Well, we ain’t any more!” Applebloom retorted. She grabbed Sweetie Belle and pulled her so she wasn’t facing Scootaloo either. Scootaloo’s smile wavered. Tears began to form in her eyes. “But... but why not?” She asked. “I ain’t talkin’ to Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle!” Applebloom yelled. Sweetie Belle flinched. “But ifn I was talkin’ to her, I’d tell her how Discord turned me into a chicken! How I laid two eggs afore I was turned back to normal, and I still keep ‘em under my bed because they didn’t go away when all the other weirdness went away, an’ I’m scared stiff of them! And how mad I am that Scootaloo’s gone an’ adopted Discord! I’d tell her how I ain’t got no pa either, but I ain’t acceptin’ no adoption offers from no monsters!” Sweetie Belle flinched. “I… I…” Sweetie Belled stammered, but didn’t say anything more than that. Scootaloo began to tear up. “Well then… fine! Fine! I thought you two would be happy for me, but you’re just jealous!” “Of you?” Applebloom scoffed. “Ha! I ain’t jealous one bit!” “Well, I know when I’m not wanted!” Scootaloo yelled, and she turned tail to them. “And I’m not speaking to either of you!” “That’s fine!” Appleboom yelled back. “Seein’ as I ain’t speakin’ to you!” “Yes you are!” Scootaloo ran out of their clubhouse. Shining Armor didn’t even need my magnificent ears to catch the gist of what was going on inside. “Scootaloo, what happened?” He asked with concern. Scootaloo sniffed and cried into his shoulder. “Th-they aren’t s-speaking to m-m-m-me.” She wailed. Discord sighed, and rolled his eyes. Filly drama. Can’t live with it, can’t live without it. The ultimate paradox. “Don’t worry.” He said, nonchalantly. “It’s like I said, friendship is the most chaotic thing ever. It endures.” Shining Armor glared at Discord as if he told her true love didn’t exist. But she looked at him with adorable eyes,and asked: “R-really?” “Really.” Discord nodded. “And if the don’t, I can make you some new friends.” He plucked an apple from a tree and held it out for her. She met the apple’s eyes, curiously. “I am an apple!” The apple beamed. “Do you vant to be my friend?” “WAAAAAAAAH!!!” Scootaloo all but screamed, and knocked the apple out of Discord’s paw. “Get it away! Apples should not have faces!” “Discord!” Shining Armor scolded him. Funny that he should think my name is an adequate threat. “I’ll get rid of it.” Discord sighed, and picked up the apple. He polished it on his chest, and ate it. “I regret nozzing!” The apple cried, as it was devoured. “Oh quit complaining.” Discord grunted. “I’m hurting myself just to eat you, you know.” “Discord, Scootaloo’s really upset right now, and you’re not helping!” Shining Armor scolded him. “I’m giving fatherly advice!” Discord protested innocently. "Isn't that what fathers do? They... give advice? Of a fatherly nature?" “You’re giving her advice of a discorded nature!” Shining Armor corrected harshly. “Scootaloo?” A shy voice asked. All three of them turned to the sound. Sweetie Belle was hiding behind a tree, looking nervously at Discord. “Sweetie Belle?” Scootaloo asked. Sweetie Belle shuffled. “Um… I can’t really talk to you right now… because Rarity and Applebloom won’t like it. But…” She coughed awkwardly. “I’m happy for you. I wish you would have told us, so we could have helped you, but I’m happy for you.” Scootaloo smiled like a Pinkie Pie, and tackle hugged her friend. “Thanks Sweetie Belle! Cutie Mark Crusader Best Friends Forever!” “Ah!” Discord could tell Sweetie Belle was nervous because Scootaloo’s tackle hug had brought her to where Discord could see her. “I… uh… I gotta go Scootaloo… don’t worry, Applebloom will come around… just remember… uh…” Sweetie Belle squeezed out of Scootaloo’s hug. “Family can’t be replaced, alright? Remember that. You can have plenty of parents, but…” She blushed. “Only one… Mom and Dad… Doesn’t have to be Discord… And you’ll always have at least one sister.” Sweetie Belle blushed at her admittance, and rushed back to the club house before Scootaloo could bury her in another hug. “See?” Discord told Shining Armor. “My advice worked.” “Your advice was worthless.” Shining Armor snorted rudely. He put a protective hoof around Scootaloo. “Scootaloo’s just lucky that she has such great friends.” Scootaloo beamed proudly, and Discord rolled his eyes. Such gooey emotions. “Okay, who wants some lunch?” He asked. “My treat? Anypony?” They ate lunch at Sugarcube Corner. Pinkie Pie seemed fine with it, but the Cakes were shaking like a leaf. Discord didn’t even have to pay! Of course, Shining Armor paid anyway. Man, couldn’t he let Discord treat them? They spent the afternoon exploring Discord’s ability to make inanimate objects talk. The food was generally interesting. Did you know that foods had whole religions about being eaten? There was one atheist carrot that wanted to escape, so Scootaloo had Discord turn it into a bird. But otherwise, the fruits were jovial, to the point of singing a song about being eaten! Scootaloo was at the crossroads of horrified and entranced. The doors were pretty boring, although one of them helped prank a pony by playing peek-a-boo with the horrified pony inside of their house, begging Discord to spare her foal. The candlestick they animated kept trying to hit on a feather duster. And a surprising number of tables followed a warrior’s creed, vowing the deaths of toes everywhere. Unsurprisingly, Shining Armor was a stick in the mud, that kept insisting we turn everything back the way it was after we’d finished talking. And he wouldn’t even let us go near the toilets. But the biggest surprise that day, was when a pony actually emerged from her house. This mare walked right up to Discord, although he could tell she was a little bit nervous. “Can I help you?” He asked. She shuffled anxiously, before gathering up her courage. “I wanted to thank you.” She said. Discord stared at her. Shining Armor’s jaw hit the floor. Scootaloo beamed. She took another deep breath. “A lot of the ponies in this town are afraid of you.” She said. “Myself included. But… you saved Scootaloo. I didn’t even know anything was wrong… I should have… I would have done something if only I’d known. But I didn’t. You did. So… thank you. Thank you for helping her.” Discord waved his hand dismissively. “Well, it was nothing really.” He admitted. Then, to his surprise, the pony jumped up, grabbed one of his horns in her teeth, and pulled him down the ground. With a yelp, Discord found himself eye level to the mare. “And if you hurt her…” She hissed. “I will personally cover you with gems and dangle you in front of a dragon’s cave. I have diagrams of a dragon’s digestive system. It’s even uglier then you.” And with that, the pony released Discord, and trotted back into her house. Shining Armor continued to stare at the mare. “I am almost tempted to let you run amok just to see you get fed to a dragon.” He admitted. Scootaloo was bouncing up and down between them. “That was my teacher!” She said. “Her name’s Cheerilee! Isn’t she great?” Discord rubbed his aching horn. “Who was she calling ugly?” He asked, sticking his tongue out at her. “Hey!” Scootaloo jumped even higher. “Hey! She’s purple, and her cutie mark is sort of yellow polka dots. And she’s pretty funny too! She can be your friend.” “I don’t think that mare will ever be friends with Discord.” Shining Armor said. “I don’t think I’ll ever be friends with her.” Discord sniffed. We retreated home for the day after that. Dinner was gumbo. Discord always liked a good gumbo. And he didn’t even have to chew it, which was a plus. Then the royal pains left for their ‘Welcome To Ponyville’ party, casting a force field around the House. Not that it would have done any good, if it was in Scootaloo’s best interests that I leave. I didn’t have any problems tucking her into bed that night. And as I sprawled across the chandelier to go to sleep, I realized with a whimper that tomorrow Scootaloo would have to go to school.