Trus and Luna
Chapter Thirteen
Dramatic much?
After nearly face planting and being saved by his wings again Trus decided it would be a good idea to simply fly after Luna rather than run.
Each hall they went through seemed to be the same on basic levels with the red carpeting, stone pillars and arches along the walls and ceilings. However the decorating would change from hall to hall. Some were filled with several things like the hall before the throne room that held such things as small tables between the pillars that held elaborate candlesticks. There were also suits and, or helmets of armor for ponies. Other halls would have different kinds of decoration such as the hall of pony’s armor that only had dark, full suits of armor and candlesticks that hung off the walls.
The one hall in front of the throne room though, had one thing the others didn’t and that was stain glass windows. Trus didn’t get any good looks at them because he was in such a hurry to keep up with Luna. He did get to notice the difference though and again mentally complain about how much of the castle he had missed due to the previous dream state.
In the hall of pony’s armor, Luna quickly did something while Trus was catching up and an entire wall spun around leaving him behind. She soon returned with another swing of the wall though.
“Not there.” She said just before running off once again.
After they had scrambled around the castle a bit more, Trus began wondering why they were in such a hurry. After all, they had been sitting around and having a fairly calm conversation beforehand and then all of a sudden they went from that to going top speed through every nook and cranny a pony could fit in.
“Luna?” He called after her.
“Yes?” she replied without so much as slowing down.
“Why are we going so fast?”
She stopped and turned around. “We must find him before I wake and given that I have already gotten to the part of the dream where I betray my sister I do not have any idea when that will be.”
“…Ah.” He said, and they went at it again, without any more comment on the matter.
There were several more stops and places that they checked and all the while Trus began to think about everything they had shared. One, or perhaps two things in particular started to bother him.
She had said to him that she wanted to rot. He had said to her that he didn’t want to exist…and…that was okay?…for both of them?... That, more than anything started to get to him. It started to consume his thoughts whenever he wasn’t navigating through a turn, ducking under and archway or checking another shady corner. Is it okay to…want some sort of punishment or…to want simple nonexistence?... Non-feeling?... Nothing?
What good could come from it?
This is nothing we’re talking about; no good, no bad.
Those little statements in his mind quieted his thoughts for a while.
During the time when he wasn’t doing much thinking he began paying attention to Luna’s movements as she ran. She never seemed to tire, but then again it was a dream. However she did slow for very brief periods of time now and again for no apparent reason, but then she’d start up again seeming to be going even faster every time she did.
What’s she thinking about? Trus asked himself.
After a bit more of curious watching, along with some more thought on the matter of self worth, they came to a lounge room with several chairs, small tables for objects such as the standing candlesticks, an opening in the floor above to make room for a large chandelier that also created a rectangular balcony above, and then there was the usual large red carpet in the middle of the stone floor. There were several openings, such as doors and archways, to other hallways and other rooms from the lounge where they could go, to continue looking.
Trus was just gliding along behind Luna when she stopped in the middle of the room to look at all the ways they could go then she stopped moving entirely and planted a hoof against her forehead.
With a grimace on her face she asked. “You said that he had to leave correct?”
Trus thought for a second realizing the utterly silly fact that they had both apparently been oblivious about something so obvious. “Yes…”
Removing her hoof from her face she turned about to face him. “He is probably long gone by now then…” She looked at him wearily. “Do you know how he left?”
“Umm, not really, I guess…he was there one second when I looked away and then gone when I looked back.”
“Where was this?”
Trus thought about and started laughing. “On a balcony overlooking the outside of the castle!”
At first Luna just stared in bewilderment and then she slowly joined in the laughter as well.
They started laughing even harder until they both were on the ground.
Luna eventually calmed down enough to ask, “Why did you not stop me while we were looking?”
He had to calm himself down before he could reply. “It never really crossed my mind… I was thinking about too many other things at the time.”
They continued in what laughter they had left until they had just about laughed themselves out. “I as well.” Luna said when their fits were all but gone.
There was silence for a time when all that could be heard was the sound of each other’s breathing.
He was looking up at the chandelier when Luna asked. “Do you know what will happen when I wake up?”
He turned his head to look at her.
She had been looking up as well, but she turned her head to look at him after he had done so. “…No.” He answered.
She returned to looking up at the chandelier “Hmm…” He followed her example, turning his head back to the ceiling. “I was trying to distract myself from thinking about it with the search…” She said. “I don’t know if you will be there when I wake up only for you to meet me as Nightmare Moon or if you will somehow just be there when I go back to sleep.”
“Hmm…” was his initial reply. “I was thinking if it was right…just okay…or not, to want to not exist…”
They didn’t say anything at first, but after some time a thought crossed Trus’s mind. He slowly moved his hoof to the nose on his muzzle. It felt a bit tender now after having been smacked onto the ground from falling over, back when he was leaving the spot where he had last seen Dark Sentry.
“What is it?” Luna asked apparently having noticed him touching his nose so tenderly.
He glanced at her. “…Dark said he was going to leave because it wasn’t going to be safe for him to stay…”
“…What do you mean?” She got up to sit sideways. “We are but in a dream. One cannot be harmed in a dream.”
“Maybe…but if Dark could actually get hurt…then…maybe I have a form similar to his that can too…my muzzle does hurt…as if bruised from falling earlier.”
“What?” She said with her eyes narrowing.
“I might be able to be harmed here, is…what I’m saying...”
“But in a dream?! If you can be hurt then you could die as well!” She shook her head. “Here, in a dream!”
He turned his head to get a better view of her and then turned it back at the chandelier. “Yeah, I guess.” He said.
“…Why are you so calm about this!?”
“…I’ve learned to expect death…in unlikely places…” He shrugged “it’s my life...” He looked back at her finding her on the verge of tears again. He rolled over, got up and was about to put his hooves around her, but she moved away again.
“No.” She said. “How could you- …How could you… How…” She looked down, then stomped her front hooves down on the carpeted floor beneath them and looked up at him again. “We have to find a way for you to get out before I wake, before something happens!”
Trus thought to say something, but nothing felt right to say at the moment so he settled for just listening and seeing if she would talk herself out of whatever might be going through her head.
“If we can find a way to bring Dark Sentry back perhaps he could take you with him so you could return later!”
Trus wasn’t very convinced, but he thought about it looking into the corners of his eyes. “Sounds like a plan,” he said looking back to her, “but…what are you going to do if we fail?”
She smiled, and looked as though a screw was coming loose. “We mustn’t! We will not! I will make sure of it!”
Trus frowned and his eyes went cold and dead as he began to glare at her.
“What?” She said. “We can do it! All that we need to do is to find a way to bring Dark Sentry back so that we can have him take you somewhere safe while I am awake and then you will be able to return when I have begun another dream! That is all! That… Why do you continue looking at me like that!”
The only movements he had made were occasional blinks along with his subtle breathing while he maintained his cold, hard stare.
She got up so that she was standing on all four of her hooves now and the confidence she showed began to wane under his gaze. She backed up…and then some more.
“Stop!” she said. Then she reared up. “I command you to stop!” She came down with her front hooves smashing against the floor!
Trus only blinked out of instinct to keep his eyes watered. “Why are you looking at me so!” She asked. “I am trying to help you!”
“Luna…I’m going to die.”
Her brows pushed together at his statement. “I can stop it! We can stop it! We just need-”
“It’s scripted…”
She seemed taken aback and confused again. “What?”
“It’s scripted into my life…” He said. “I die when my work is done... It’s how I leave...”
Her jaw dropped slightly open with a gasping frown. However a moment later and her countenance hardened again.
“And what if I don’t want it? What if you’re not done?”
Trus’s expression sagged and softened. “If I am not done then I will get to stay around longer, but if not, then I am done… I don’t usually get to stay long, but on very rare occasions I’ve lived entire lives… However, in the end I always die, but never by age. Something will kill me and I often don’t get to see it coming. We’ll probably be able to say goodbye, but...yeah…” his eyes fell away from her. “I guess I should change that the next session I get to change one aspect of my life…” He looked back up at her.
She stood there and didn’t say anything. “Luna?”
She grimaced and tears were rolling once more. She looked away and didn’t say anything for a time.
…Then out of the silence she asked, “Do you think it is okay to desire that oneself should be allowed to rot away…?”
He let out a silent sigh… “I don’t know… I suppose if it were to happen, it could make a good example to others so they would not do whatever…oneself did. Same with not existing I suppose, but others would have to know of it happening and know of the causes for it to do any good for them…”
“…Then perhaps we are we evil for wanting such things…?”
He looked down to think for a second and then looked back up. “No…I don’t think so…but maybe if we tried to get it despite the costs…we might be then…” When she didn’t say anything he went on. “I guess it may not be about what we want…but what we need. It’s probably fine to want something, but if it’s not a good thing then it wouldn’t be good to go after it… It might possibly be bad to even put effort into trying to get it… So,” he let out a sigh, “I guess it might be just fine to want those things, but it might very well be simply wrong to go after them…”
“…humph, to only live upon what you need…” Luna said. “I could not imagine being happy with so little…”
“…I find that sometimes we need some of the things we want, if only because we want them; just as a source of comfort for us when we really need some comfort, when we can’t get it another way… Other things we want…I guess…aren’t all that important...”
Luna hung her head… “…Perhaps…” she said.
He dropped his gaze to the floor.
…Again…silence…
He began to wonder about what Luna had said about her waking up. Trying to think up all the possibilities was something he did on a regular basis, but he kept going back to thinking about meeting Luna as Nightmare Moon; whatever that actually meant. After throwing away three of those scenarios he got bored and let the last one play out in his head.
However, his little head-cannon experience got interrupted when he realized it had gotten much darker in the room. Shadows had begun to fill the room and they appeared to move abnormally. What’s going on?
He found Luna gazing a million miles away through the chandelier and just had to smile at her open mouth and far-off gaze. He dropped his head with a barely audible sigh.
He glanced at the shadows moving in, out of the corners of his eyes and then rested them on a spot directly below his head.
“So…” He said…still smiling. “Are we…” he looked up. She was still looking through the chandelier and there was no repose of any kind from her…
“…Still…”
He paused and regarded her a moment. He thought of calling her name, but decided against it. He looked away and laid down on the red carpet beneath him. “Nevermind.”
It got darker and darker until all around him there were only gradients of black and grays and nothing solid was in view. He looked back at the place he had last seen Luna and then dropped his eyes a little. Are you still my friend? Really my friend?... Were you ever really my friend?
He looked back up…but there was nothing to see anymore…
After a while of continuous silence in the darkness Trus laid his head down and curled into a ball.
Of course not, a voice said in his head as he got down.
...Oh shut up…
No one ever truly cares.
…Seriously shut up…
Why?
…
Oh come on figure it out.
…
Please.
…
All alone.
…
Well come on do something!
Just shut up already!…
So you’re going to just sit around and wait for the end or something?
SHUT UP! …and leave me alone…
No…
Oh my-