Star Wars: The Snuggle Protocol

by Barrobroadcaster


Chapter 4: The Alliance of Hate

The Rebel Alliance's Everfree Base, known as Sigma Base, looked a lot like their temple base on Yavin IV. In fact, it looked exactly like it, because it was the same exact base that had somehow been transported from the jungles of the Yavin moon to the middle of the forest in Equestria. Although some questioned how it got here, nobody really complained. It made it easier knowing where everything was already and also most, if not all of them agreed it beat the shit out of Hoth.

Gold Squadron's speeders arrived at the base just as a pair of U-Wings touched down. A group of pegasi immediately jumped out, each carrying saddlebags full of supplies for other resistance groups across the planet. While the unicorns and earth ponies hadn't been as affected by the Empire's invasion, the pegasi certainly had. Cloudsdale, the pegasus city that was forever the home of pegasi, had been destroyed when the Empire invaded. The event had been chalked up as an accident, but there were many pegasi that saw the Star Destroyer hovering over Ponyville as a direct act of aggression and war, even if Princess Celestia had said otherwise. They were among the first to join the Rebels.

"Sigma Base to unidentified vehicles, transmit clearance code."

Sonders got out the commlink to answer while Reena drove. "Sigma Base, this is... 'Bold' Squadron, returning. Clearance code: one-one-three-eight-dash-one-one-seven-oh-eight."

"*snickers* "Bold" Squadron? Is that a real designation now? Eh, whatever. You're cleared to park in back next to my Honda Civic. But don't park too close to it."

"Affirmative, Base. Also, we're bringing in a prisoner- had a nosey scout trooper poking around the speeders. Stunned him and tossed him in the trunk."

"Ugh, fine. We're dispatching security to the motor pool, they'll take care of it."

"Roger, Bold-two out." Another chuckle came through the radio before it cut out. Sonders shook his head; getting used to the squadron's new callsign wasn't going to be easy. His wingman next to him shared his sentiment.

"Bold Squadron," Brullen repeated, shaking his head. "Doritos Bold Squadron. What's next? The Rebel Fleet brought to you by..."

"Hot Pockets, hahaha."

"Heh, yeah, that's a good one. Careful you don't let command hear it; they might use that idea."

"Haha, right."

"Yeah..." They both laughed... then quickly stopped laughing as the realization that their joke could actually happen set in. In just a couple short days, things had been turned upside down for them. Who knew what could happen next?

In the other speeder, Reena drove while Grex and Avin sat in the back with their feet up. She didn't mind; knowing that they would do it anyway and she had to give them a little wiggle room.

"Gotta say, this base beats the crap out of the old one," Avin said.

"What? The one behind the Starbucks in the middle of the Best Buy parking lot?" Grex asked.

"Yeah."

"I dunno, I kinda liked being able to checkout the t.vs when I was off-duty."

"True."

"It gets the job done," Reena said, serious as ever at first. But, she quickly added, "It's definitely nicer than Hoth."

"Warmer, too," Avin agreed. Reena followed the other speeder to the motor pool in the back. If they went out again that day, they would likely take another speeder to prevent them from being tracked. Constantly changing locations, routines and equipment was business as usual for the Rebel Alliance. What wasn't usual was corporate sponsorship.

They disembarked from their speeders as a pair of rebel security guards jogged over, rifles ready. One of them was actually a pony, a unicorn holding a rifle with a levitation spell. It was still kind of unnerving for some of them to see a gun glowing and floating, encircled by magic. They were getting used to it, though and the ponies had already integrated for the most part into the Rebel Alliance.

Grex slapped the trunk as the guards approached. "Yep, one prisoner primed and ready to interrogate. It was MY idea to stun him," the pilot said proudly.

"Great, so any problems, you'll be the one to blame," the pony guard said. They trained their rifles at the trunk of the speeder.

"There won't be any problems. It's one guard," Grex assured them. "I'll bet he'll jump at the first chance we give him to defect." He opened the trunk. The Scout Trooper's arms and armor had been removed and his hands restrained. Unfortunately, they didn't have any restraints for his legs, and when the trunk opened, the scout swung his legs out and kicked Grex in the groin. "Gaulch!"

"I got it!" one of the ponies fired a blue bolt from his rifle and stunned the trooper.

"Grex! Grex, you okay?"

"Fine... from the waist up..." his voice squeaked. The squad now had two bodies they had to carry back to base.

"It's alright buddy, we got ya." Avin and and Brullen both grabbed his arms and carried him between them.

"Hehehe, at least you didn't get hurt anywhere vulnerable, Grexy."

"Fuck... you..."

Avin slapped him on the back. "Aw, relax. We'll get you inside and you can put some ice cream on it," he said, giggling.

"Fuck you... fuck you both."

The squad carried their comrade and their captured scout into the base. Reena, Avin and the others who sampled the Imperials' ice cream made a stop at the base's medical wing for more intensive scans after they completed the usual decontamination and security sweep. There was no ice cream for Grex's stomach or his crotch, so he decided to just walk off the discomfort, which fortunately didn't last long. After they settled in, the squadron finally got a chance for some R&R.

Reena had time to get a shower and a change of clothes. Sigma Base was large enough that they could each have private quarters, unlike some of their other bases, although the rooms were barely big enough for a bed and dresser. She lay on her bed, thinking about the mission, thinking about everything that had seemed so right and then somehow became so horribly botched. It was like her world had been turned upside down but things still stuck to the floor, leaving her looking up at what was from a new position.

She imagined her squad had to feel the same way, more or less. One tiny mistake and now they were questioning just about everything. Rebellions were fragile like that, as were hopes, dreams and causes. But, you could remind yourself of them.

Reena opened a small KOTOR-style footlocker at the foot of her bed. Being constantly on the move meant the things you took with you had to be small. She kept a holoalbum her mother had given her, about the only thing of value she had. She flipped through the pictures of her home planet, a world called Saleucami. The cities on Saleucami were all covered with massive ornate domes to keep out the harsh climate. Inside, the cities were comfortable and cool, green vines and foliage hung from the buildings and white flowers bloomed on the sides of the streets. Some of the plants even glowed, illuminating the stone buildings and their elegant architecture, limiting the need for power generators in the town.

Some of the pictures were just of the city, others were of Reena and her family. She was very young when the Clone Wars ended and the Empire bombed Saleucami for being loyal to the Confederacy of Independent Systems. Although the citizens of Saleucami were technically Separatists, they didn't do much to support the CIS apart from keeping a small garrison on the planet's surface. They surrendered the moment the war was over. The Empire responded by bombing their cities, all but the capitol, and enslaved the population. The capitol city was left standing but unoccupied under its dome, like a lost city buried by cataclysm.

The Empire had taken her home because it had picked the wrong side. It hadn't even been her choice or the choice of many others but they'd been punished for it just the same. That's why she made contact with planets like Equestria and felt so strongly about protecting them from the Empire. It didn't matter how far they were away, how remote they were, how much or little they'd done or what side they were on. The Empire didn't care. It would conquer them all and enforce its will upon them, those that resisted would be destroyed. If the Empire even thought they could resist, they would destroy them.

There was a knock on her door. "Come in."

The doors opened and in walked Grex. He was eating a sandwich. "Hey, mmm, hey Reena."

"Hey," she sat up and put her book back. "Finally got something to eat?"

"Yeah. Just reconstituted protein and calcium supplement slices on rye," he said, holding up the sandwich. "But, I got one of those snow cones from the ice Sonders got from Hoth," he said, grinning.

Reena raised an eyebrow at him. "I thought that ice was to help cool the generators."

"Eh, they got enough." He took a seat next to her on the bed; she scooted over for him. He finished his sandwich and for a moment, they just sat together quietly. "So this was our first bad mission."

"It wasn't bad," she corrected him. "It was just another one. We did our job."

"It doesn't feel like," he said, lying back.

She turned around to him, almost in disbelief. "It doesn't matter what it feels like, Grex. It's our job to do what the Alliance needs, whatever it needs, for the good of the cause."

"Good of the cause?" Grex repeated. "That's like saying it's for "the greater good."

She nodded. "It is."

He slid half-up, his expression nearing appalled. "That's something the Empire would say. I mean... that's something they'd usually say. They used the "greater good" and "order" as excuses on every other planet! Why are they doing something different here?!"

"I don't know," Reena admitted. "But I know it's a trick. This is just a new tactic for them, another way for them to deceive the population while they plan something else that will take advantage of them. That's all they ever do."

"What if they're not actually doing that here? What if they actually do some good around the galaxy, do we really oppose that?"

"We support the cause," she said calmly.

"And if the cause ends up hurting the innocent?" Grex asked, standing abruptly. "What then? What if we actually do wind up hitting something that isn't just a soap factory?"

She stood as well. "It's for the greater good-"

He pointed at her, face red against her cold, implacably calm demeanor. "That's exactly what they say, Reena! They say "greater good" after committing some sort of horrible atrocity! You keep saying that, you're going to sound exactly like an Imperial!"

She threw her hands down, balled her fists and shouted, "I was one!" Her face was flushed. For a moment, neither of them said anything. Reena sat down again, looking at her hands. Slowly, she unclenched her fists. When she finally looked up, Grex was sitting right beside her again. He put his arms around her and held her.

He sighed and began rubbing her shoulders. "I guess this is something neither of us signed up for."

"No," she corrected him, still letting him rub her. "I knew something like this would happen. Well, not exactly like this. But mistakes are inevitable. Sometimes, innocents get caught in the crossfire. No matter what side you're on, it happens."

Grex stopped rubbing. She turned to him, looked him in the eyes. "That doesn't mean I condone it. We hit the targets, we don't target civilians and we do our best to make sure we limit casualties. That's the job we signed up for. That's the line we don't cross."

He looked right back at her and asked, "And if we come close to crossing it?"

"We don't."

He might've had another question to ask; both of them somewhat expected that. Maybe they would've filled the momentary silence between them with more words or something that spoke more, like a kiss. But the intercom crackled, interjecting static into their moment instead.

"*snicker* "Doritos Bold" Squadron, to the ready room please, Doritos Bold Squadron to the ready room please." Another voice added, "And bring some Cool Ranch chips with you!"
"Hahahaha!" The intercom clicked off.

They both exchanged unamused glances. "Well, Cool Ranch is the best flavor."

"Ew, I hate corn chips."

Grex shrugged. "They'd make those reconstituted protein and calcium supplement sandwiches go down easier."


The pilots' briefing room was a large amphitheater. The rest of Bold/Gold Squadron had already gathered there, along with some of the squad's support staff. Reena and Grex entered from the corridor to the barracks, and saw that their comrades were already discussing matters important to the Rebel Alliance in a lengthy, respectful debate. Meaning they were arguing about nonsense. They both took a seat close to their friends.

"No way. No freaking way."

"C'mon," Avin said, slapping Bandwidth on the knee. "She's your princess, after all."

The stallion shook his head. "I've seen what Vader can do. There's no way he'd get beaten by Nightmare Moon."

Avin laughed. "That's practically treason, though."

"Yeah Bandy, didn't you know you're supposed to support your local tyrant when we pit them against others?" Brullen asked sarcastically. The brawny, broad-shouldered strongman of the squad stood behind their couch, leaning over the side. "You have a patriotic duty to support your planet's villain. Like how Mr. Turner hates Dinkleberg."

"Oh, I don't just hate Dinkleberg," Timmy's dad said in his usual delightful manner. "As a matter of fact, I hate lots of things. Like traffic, Dinkleberg, weeds, Dinkleberg, property taxes, Dinkleberg, paying homeowner's insurance, Dinkleberg and my next-door neighbors. THE DINKLEBERGS!" he stood and shouted.

Bandwidth folded his forelegs. "Heh, I'll pass. That's a lotta stuff to hate, Turner. Not exactly my cup of tea."

Avin grinned, leaning back. "It's the Rebel Alliance, Bandwidth. Most of us are here because we hate the Empire."

The pony turned to him. "But how do you hate something so... big? Even a person, a single entity is just so much... how do you hate something?"

"It takes a lot of practice," Brullen said, laughing. "After you see them bombard a few cities for "suspected resistance sympathies" or enslave a population, or test a new type of "order enforcement" on unsuspecting people, it becomes hard not to hate them."

"But they have to do some good," Bandwidth countered.

Sonders, sitting across them with a couple others, shrugged. "If they have, we haven't seen it. Any benefit they provide is no different than what the Republic provided, just regulated more heavily and controlled. And there's not much left of that."

The pony shrugged. "Well, maybe I don't understand the Empire. I'm just saying, an Alliance of hate doesn't make much sense."

The main doors of the amphitheater suddenly slid open. "That's because hatred doesn't make sense," Princess Luna said, striding through. The room became silent and all eyes instantly focused on her as she walked into the room. She was flanked by two of her Royal Night Guards, her most trusted guardians. They were wearing advanced armor given to them from the Rebels but painted in Luna's colors. She stopped right in front of the holoprojector in the center of the room. The lights dimmed and it turned on. "Hatred, even love and other strong emotions, do not make sense sometimes. But, they can be powerful motivators when used properly."

"Jedi are taught not to let our emotions control us," Reena said quietly.

Grex nudged her. "What was that?"

She looked down. "Something my aunt told me." They both quieted themselves as the holoprojector began to display images.

Luna walked around the projector. "We've examined the details of your raid two days ago and it appears to have been successful. The destruction of a TIE Fighter squadron and the Empire's unauthorized facility were important steps towards our goal of forcing them to withdraw from the planet." As she spoke, Grex raised his hand. Reena looked at him, perplexed by his behavior. "We have not yet determined what sort of weapons were being developed there, but we are certain the destruction of the factory has halted their production for the time being."

"Umm, hey! Princess Luna!"

"We're currently running analysis on the debris recovered from the-"

"Princess Luna! Hey, Princess!"

She looked at him. Everyone in the amphitheater slowly turned to him. "Yes, Gold-Seven?"

Grex stood. "Hi, my name is Grex Corsa, I'm a pilot." He waited for them to say something, like it was an 'anonymous' meeting of some kind but they all remained silent. "Uh, anyway, so I was wondering about the way the Empire responded."

Reena stood with him. "Yes, your highness, according to our informant in Ponyville, the Empire's countering news of the raid with some sort of propaganda campaign."

"They've never done this before," Sonders said. "Ever."

Luna looked around her, as if trying to address all the questions at once. "Yes, well, we're aware of this new tactic. It's fortunate they haven't responded with something more effective for the time being. This new defensive measure doesn't impair our operations, so they remain unchanged."

"Unchanged?" They exchanged glances, all of them around the room. A few of them murmured.

Reena stepped forward. "All due respect your highness, what if this isn't a new tactic? What if this is actually a real Imperial mandate for... niceness, a new protocol or something?"

"The Empire is not nice," Luna responded, instantly and coldly. The sheer iciness of her reply cowled Reena, forcing her to lower her hand. "The Empire stands for tyranny and oppression. We cannot allow their operations on Equestria to continue."

They all agreed with that, though Reena and Grex were beginning to question where exactly it came from. Neither of them raised any objections, though they both knew they each might've wanted to. They allowed her to continue, not that they could have stopped her otherwise.

"To that end, we are continuing to monitor Imperial activity on the planet. Intelligence suggests they're planning something, a project of some sort to be unveiled at a social gathering this weekend."

"Did you get that "intelligence" by watching the news?" Avin asked, raising his hand quickly after. "Is that where our intelligence comes from? We have guys that just watch the news?" More murmurs among the pilots and crew. Luna's eyes darted around the room again, but quickly refocused.

"Our intelligence operatives gather information from a wide variety of sources-"

"I know," Avin interrupted, "but is one of them like, the holonet news? The one that, y'know, the Imperials watch?"

Even Luna's guards began turning their heads to the accusers, tensing up. They were absolutely loyal to Princess Luna herself and with the slight rise in opposition to her authority, were now evaluating the occupants as threats. She knew this, the ponies knew it but the humans, other species and droids didn't.

Luna gave a single, calm nod. "I know the results of your last mission may seem like they weren't what we expected. But it's the end result that matters. This response is a bit... unsettling, which is understandable. Believe me when I say that we are still progressing towards our goal of victory against the Empire," she said. They didn't object to that. For the moment, questions were settled even if they hadn't been answered.

The holoprojector behind Luna changed, reconfiguring into the shape of an Imperial transport. "We've intercepted some transmissions that indicate an Imperial convoy is on its way to Equestria from Dantooine. As you know, Task Force Defiance was the last one to occupy the old Delta Base, so it's possible they may have somehow tracked us from there." The image of the projector zoomed out to show the moon and Equestria. A path from the planet's surface lead up and around the moon to the transports. "Your new mission is to-"

"Intercept the convoy," Reena said. "Disable the transports so the Alliance can-"

"That's correct, Captain Varsen," Luna interrupted her. Very suddenly, she felt the world shrink as the princess focused on her. "You will disable the transports and their escorts, we suspect two light carriers, and await for a recovery team. In order to keep the location of the Defiant Fleet secret, the transport will utilize a separate approach vector, so it will take time before it arrives."

Reena understood now wasn't the time to question. She felt the three pairs of eyes that focused on her, waiting for any sign of insubordination. She didn't give them one. "Cruisers usually have fighter escort. They might be sending TIEs to replace the squadron they lost during our raid. Will we have any escort of our own during this mission?"

Luna smiled slightly. "You will. Red Squadron, or, as they're known now, Mountain Dew Code Red Squadron, will provide Doritos Locos Bold Squadron with cover during this mission. Flight data will be provided to you en route. Any questions?" None of them made a sound. She panned her smile around the room. "Mission begins at 1600. You have until then to prepare. Dismissed."

The princess and her guards departed while the rest of them remained. None of them spoke a word until they left the room. The doors closed after they exited, the holoprojector switched off and the lights turn on.

"I take it back," Bandwidth said.

"Take what back?"

"She could beat Darth Vader."


Bold Squadron arrived in the hangar. Grex strode out in front, happy to be getting back in the cockpit. Sigma Base's hangar was bustling and haphazard with just a hint of order, exactly how it always was. It was uplifting for the squadron to see. Grex and Avin were practically skipping.

"We're about to embark on a dangerous, secret mission, risking our lives for the umpteenth time in a job no sane person would volunteer for," Sonders said to Reena. "Why is your boyfriend happy?"

Reena smiled. "He loves his job. I can't really blame him for it, being the same way."

The hangar was full of ships- X-Wings, A-Wings, T-47s, V-Wings and V-Wing airspeeders and even a few older Clone Wars craft the Rebels kept in service. Rebel technicians and crews worked to maintain the vehicles and move and organize supplies in the hangar, running in groups or using heavy machinery. Derpy Hooves sprayed and wiped the windows of a parked Delta-7 interceptor until she could see herself in the reflection.

A voice came over the intercom. "Attention, General Syndulla, you parked in a tow away zone again. This is the third time, Hera, and I'm not vouching for you now. The Ghost will be transferred to the impound section. Good luck with that."

A green twi'lek woman ran by them, sprinting to recover her ship. The squad continued on.

"It is good to be going out again," Brullen said. "After the Commander's debriefing this morning, I thought we'd be grounded."

"Or they'd have us out serving ice cream," Reena said, smirking. "I was honestly expecting they'd have us "fight fire with fire" in a counter-propaganda campaign. Command must really want this done quick."

"Ugh, there's always next mission," Sonders said. "This could be another "trap." The Empire could say it was a whole convoy of puppies."

"Don't say that too loud," Reena said. "Grex might-"

"Nooooo!" Grex turned and pleaded. "Not the puppies! Not again!"

Reena pinched her forehead. "Grex, dammit, this isn't a time to be a man-child! Man up, or they'll start making you fly with a puppy as your copilot!"

"Ooooh! That doesn't sound that bad!" Grex said. "I had a dog growing up on Corellia. Can I train him to work the Ion cannons on my Y-Wing?"

Reena groaned. She and Grex were an odd couple, especially during missions. That was how they worked; their two styles conflicted sometimes, but when they complimented each other, they made quite a combination. It was how they acted after missions, in-between raids and operations and jobs for the Rebellion that they really expressed feelings for each other, that they connected. Grex and Reena were there for each other at the end of the day and the beginning of the next, with a few words of support at some times and more when one of them needed it. They loved each other and they were there for one another. That's all they needed.

"Seriously, we're just disabling the transports," Avin reminded them all. "In case you forgot, Ion cannons just shutdown a ship's systems. Any puppies or refugees or soap bars will be fine."

"Unless Red Squadron gets to it first," Reena added. "Make that "Mountain Dew Code Red Squadron." Their X-Wings don't have Ion cannons."

"I really hope those names aren't permanent," Avin said.

"Whatever, I'm just happy to get back to my ship," Grex said. He jogged off towards the squadron's section of the hangar, close to the front. "I'm gonna calibrate my Ion cannons! Let's get going guys, come on!"

Sonders smiled. "He's like a big kid with his favorite toy."

Reena also smiled, agreeing. "He's my kid. Our kid. Every squad should be so lucky."

"Ha," Brullen laughed. "If every squadron had a Grex Corsa in it, I'd be afraid for the Alliance." They all laughed at that and continued walking to their ships.

"What? No! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Grex yelled, his voice echoing through the chamber.

"Grex? Grex!" The squad ran out after him. They rounded the column and parked ships obstructing him and found him kneeling, pounding the pavement with one of his fists.

"No! No, they can't do this! WHHHYYYYY?!!"

"Grex, what is- woah," Reena stopped. In front of Grex, where all their Y-Wings should have been were new ships. The newest addition to the Rebel Alliance's starfighter arsenal, one of the mast advanced, high-tech and sophisticated ships ever designed, twelve B-Wings were sitting lined up and waiting for them. They were all painted red and emblazoned with Doritos logos.

"This can't be happening! It's not fair! What about Grill?!" Grex asked. Grill, or GR-11 was Grex's astromech, which he also used as a makeshift grill for cooking food when someone else used the kitchen. Astromechs were an appreciated and vital part of an Alliance starfighter unit, when said starfighter unit had starfighters which could have astromechs. B-Wings, for all their advancements, were not able to have astromechs, depriving them of the in-flight maintenance and performance-enhancing tweaks and calculations the droids provided. Many, including Grex, considered it a serious design flaw but the expensiveness of the B-Wing alone meant it wasn't corrected.

"Woooooo, B-Wings," Avin said, getting closer to the crafts. "Gotta say, I like the paint job, too."

"Yeah, Grex, what're you complaining about? This is a major upgrade!" Brullen said, happy with his own ship.

Grex frowned, grumping by his own craft's cockpit. "There is a Doritos logo on my viewport."

Reena shrugged. "You'll get used to it."

"There is a DORITOS LOGO ON MY VIEWPORT!" Grex yelled. "HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO SEE THROUGH IT? What am I supposed to do- use the Force?!!"

"Pretty sure that's not how the Force works," Sonders commented.

"Oh, like you'd know. This sucks, Reena. Reena! REENA! This sucks!"

"Okay, yes, that is a bad position for a logo," Reena said. "Just try to peel it off, or something."

"Ewww," Grex said, peeling it off. "It's living behind the residue from the adhesive! It's gonna be all weird and sticky!"

Reena rolled her eyes. "Just deal with it and start your pre-flight, Grex. "We have an easy run to get back in the swing of things, let's just get it done."

"Unnnngggh," he groaned. The B-Wings of Bold Squadron started up and departed from the Sigma Base hangar. Twelve flying wings took to the sky as the sunset, heading into orbit over Equestria.