//------------------------------//
// Applejack 
// Story: Celebrity Dating Game 
// by Dandereshy 
//------------------------------//

         Just a few days later, you're sitting at your table reading the local newspaper. It's morning, and surprisingly you're actually up before noon.

You sip your fresh cup of coffee and skim through the articles, looking for anything interesting: "Peasant Wins Equestria Lottery", "Tidal Wave Crashes Against Shores of Manehattan", "Mutilated Body Found Outside Anons' Home", "Princess Celestia Deems 'Our Town' Unsafe Due to High Concentrations of Stupid"... Yadda yadda yadda. Nothing ever good in the paper.

Tossing the paper on the table, you head into the kitchen with your coffee, searching for your granola bars. These consisted of most of your breakfasts. Sad.

You grab the coffee pot off the stove and fill up your cup a bit more, finishing off what was left. No need for sugar or creamer. You liked your coffee black. You set the pot in the sink and fill it with water, then place the coffee maker back on top of the fridge.

Some dust comes sifting down, inciting you to sneeze a dozen times. Damn allergies. You need to clean your kitchen. It's been awhile, anyway.

So you proceed to empty the cabinets and clear off counters, setting everything on the table. You'd clean that last.

As you wipe inside the cabinets and swipe up piles of dust and debris, you hear a crash from behind you and spin around, your hands as stiff and flat as a board, as if you knew how to karate chop someone. You didn't.

The source of the noise was immediately evident: goodbye, sweet table. You'd overloaded it with crap and it snapped in two.

"Ooooof course," you mumble, rolling your eyes. Did you forget that is was a table designed by a pony, for ponies? Its weight limit was far less than a human-made table.

You clean up the mess, which included a few broken plates and mugs as well. The table was dead. You'd have to get a new one. But you knew Applejack, the one who'd made the table in the first place, would have no trouble whipping you up a new one. At least, you hoped.

After you restore the kitchen to its original state, more or less, you figure you'd go get a new table now instead of putting it off like everything else. Procrastination was your enemy in this world.

You throw your shoes on and slip outside, making your way over to country ponys' place.





"I still jus' don't see how ya managed to break that table," apple pone said for the umpteenth time. You'd run over to Sweet Apple Acres and caught her working, telling her your story and listening to her logic. Did she think tables were invincible?

You purse your lips. "Yeah, AJ, it broke. Period. I'm sorry. It's not like I intended to break it. That was a nice table."

"Not to mention a gift from a friend," she adds, giving you a pouty look. She hops up into the back of a small trailer she uses to load up apples on and wipes her brow. "Ya caught me at a bad time, Anon. Sorry, but I can't make it for ya today. It just won't happen."

You look around you, seeing most of the trees empty. "But you look done here. I see no apples."

"This is only a quarter of the crops, Anon."

Damn. "Heh. Well, seriously though--do you really have to do this whole plantation today? I'm sure there's other things you can do. Like take a break for once," you go on, planting your hands on your hips.

She sighs. "Of course there's other stuff ta do. There's always something ta do 'round here. So no, I never get a break. Sompony's got ta do this stuff."

"What about your brother? And your little sister? Are they immune to work, or...?" Pretty rude of you, but true nonetheless.

"They work a lot too. Don't worry 'bout them."

"You need a break," you say quietly, not wanting to lose her. "You really need to take a break from this and do something different."

She cocks an eyebrow. "Like build ya yer table?"

You decide not to reply.

"That's what I thought," she says, hopping back off the trailer. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I got work to do."

"Wait," you step in front of her, cutting her off. She stares up at you, unamused. Think of something fast, or you just might get bucked up. "I uh, have an offer."

She thinks for a moment and plops her butt down. "I'm listenin'."

You clear your throat loudly. "Let's trade. You build the table tonight, if I take you... On... A date..."

She still doesn't appear too interested. "Anon, what kinda deal is this?"

You give her the biggest, friendliest grin you can muster. "It's me rewarding you for your kindness, generosity, and unwavering friendship," you say soothingly, trying a little too hard. It's coming off as creepy, actually.

She scratches her chin thoughtfully. "You want ta offer me a date in return fer me buildin' ya a table?"

You nod briskly. Was it working?

"Hmm... Nah." She turns back to the trailer and grabs a bucket.

Damnit. "Wait wait wait... You're saying no? That's kind of mean," you now try to guilt trip her. She's clearly playing hard to get.

She turns and faces you. "Maybe I don't like ya like that, hmm?"

Wow. What a wake up call. "Really? You don't like me like that?" Your voice cracks a little.

She shakes her head. "Nope." She goes back to bucking apples, just about ignoring you.

Damn. This hurts. You've been getting yesses this whole time, and suddenly a no. It felt like a low blow, a punch in the gut. "Well," you say dejectedly, "I suppose I'll just go then. Don't worry about the table. See you later, Applejack." You turn and plod away, feeling pretty crappy. Getting rejected hurt more than you thought.

"Wait," she calls out, causing you to stop dead in your tracks and turn back to her. She looks a little upset. She comes up to you and takes off her hat, holding it to her chest. "I'm not gonna let ya jus' run off all sad and stuff. I was testin' ya to see if ya actually liked me or ya jus' wanted a free table. Based on yer reaction, I'd say yer feelin's are sincere. So if ya still want ta, we can go on that date."

Again, totally unexpected. Gotta give her credit, though. That was ingenious. "If you really want to, yeah, I'd love to." You give a barely perceptible smile.

She grins back, trying to cheer you up. "Yeah. Let's do that. I can stop fer today, I suppose. Ya ready?"

"Oh, we're going right now?" you ask, surprised. Moving right along, eh?

She takes off towards the farm, inciting you to run after. "Yep! Follow me!"

Where was this going?





Out in the barn, orange pony had set things up for a nice dinner. Bales of hay were used as seats and the table, she lit up a lantern and set it in the center of the "table", and prepared a meal that you hadn't even expected from her. It involved apples, and was out of this world.

You sit across fto her, chowing down on your food. "This... This is good," you compliment her again, barely chewing your food before swallowing. It was damn good.

She chuckles a bit. "Hehehehe. Yeah, Granny Smith taught me that recipe. Among many others. Glad ya like it."

"I more than like it. I adore it." You lick your plate clean and get yourself another plate full of the food from the middle of the bale. "I think I might eat until I throw up."

She laughs. "Well, shucks." She has barely touched her food, you notice.

"Hey, you alright? You haven't eaten much." You point at her plate.

She nods once. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just a bit nervous."

You push the lantern over a bit so you can see her face a bit better. It was true, what they say about muted light--it does make one appear more attractive. "AJ, I know what you mean. I am too, a little. Is this your first date? Or have you had one before?" You push your plate aside, done for now.

"Yeah, once. Didn't go so swell, I'll tell ya."

This time, you nod, in understanding. "Okay. I won't ask. What matters is this date, right now. Which, I should ask, are you enjoying it?"

She smiles and looks at you. "I am, actually. I just wish I could get away from work long enough ta do this more often..." Her voice trails off.

"I get it. You can though. You prioritize the farm when you need to prioritize yourself sometimes. Run yourself ragged and you'll never enjoy life. You have to take a little time to do things you want to do, not things you have to." That was some powerful insight. Where the hell did it come from?

She seems to perk up a little more. "You're right. But how can I put off the farm? It always needs work done. I can't get away long enough."

"Wrong. You're doing it right now, aren't you?"

That caught her off guard. "Huh. I guess yer right. I didn't think of it that way."

Job well done. You made apple pone feel better. Now could you keep it up? "So..." And now you have no idea what to say. Good. Social awkwardness.

"Well, I've had enough of this for now," she says, taking the plates and setting them aside. "Done with yers?"

You hand it to her. "Yes, actually. Thank you."

She takes it and places it with the other plates. "Cool."

You decide to try and start another conversation. "So, what's next?"

She sits back in her spot, directly across from you. "I dunno. Never been on a real date. Jus' dated somepony fer a few days. Do you know what we can do? Er, what we should do?"

"Whatever you want," you say, smiling kindly. As hard as she acted, you could tell she was a big softy.

"Are ya sure ya want me ta pick what we do? I'm okay with whatever ya want, Sugarcube," she says, despite not sounding very sure at all.

Even after having second thoughts, you still allow her to pick. "Yeah. Go ahead. We can do anything you want." Except sex.

"Hmm..." She thinks deeply. "I got it!"

"Yes?" you ask, intrigued by her enthusiasm.





"One more bushel left, Anon. And we'll be golden," your date tells you as she kicks another bucket full of apples.

You pull the cart closer so she can put the bucket up on it. "Yay," you shout half-heartedly. You should have known. Next time, you'll be picking the date activities.