//------------------------------// // Using... Oh, No. Oh, Please Don't Go There. // Story: King Sombra Wants Back Inside His Empire // by naturalbornderpy //------------------------------// “It’s because I’m black, isn’t it?” Shining Armor’s mouthful of morning coffee shot right over the wall and onto the white snow below. Why he’d taken such a massive sip of coffee right before speaking with Sombra would remain anyone’s guess. “What!?” Shining hurriedly glanced back and forth where he stood, lowering his voice to a nasty hiss. “Shut up, Sombra! Shut your stupid trap right this instant! Don’t you go there! Don’t you dare go there!” “Go where, Shining?” Sombra asked him coolly. “Right to the cold, harsh truth of the matter? Finally, it’s donned on me just why I was evicted from my rightful home. And it’s become clear that it was only due to the color of my fur! Which is black… I think. Or really, really dark grey. I’m not completely sure right now.” “Are you serious? You weren’t kicked out of here for that! You were kicked out of here because you enslaved an entire race to do your bidding!” Sombra nodded a single time. “I see. Hmm. How odd. I mention that my fur is black and the first thing that pops into your head is ‘slavery’. Is that all that swirls around in that hateful head of yours, Shining? Ponies owning other ponies? And just why, pray tell, can’t a black pony such as I have his very own—” Shining leveled a hoof at him, spittle flying from his lips. “Don’t you finish that sentence! Don’t!” Sombra shrugged innocently. “What? ‘Have his very own Empire’?” Just then, Cadence entered the scene. “So what are we all talking about today?” Shining turned to her with a scowl. “Sombra here thinks we won’t let him back inside the Crystal Empire because he’s black.” That stopped her in her tracks. “Oh. Looks like I’ll be staying inside today. Tootles!” And just like that, Cadence exited the scene. “Makes sense, now that I think about it,” Sombra muttered down below. “It’s become a tradition between you two, hasn’t it? Queen Chrysalis—also of the darker shelled variety—goes out searching for food one day to support her many, many children, and what do you two do to the poor girl? Blast her to the ends of the Earth, that’s what! When all she was trying to do was survive as a struggling single parent!” If Shining had wings that morning, he would’ve leapt off the wall and personally strangled Sombra without pause. Sadly, all he could do that morning was shoot at him with his horn. But by that point in time, Sombra had grown rather skillful at dodging laser blasts. Perhaps he’d built a yoga center nearby that Shining had no idea about. Shining growled out, “Queen Chrysalis was planning on taking over Equestria! She hypnotized me, imprisoned my wife, and attacked my sister!” Sombra pursed his lips. “So stuck on the small details, aren’t you? I can tell you’re still trying to ignore the big issue at hoof. The elephant in the room, as it were. Or is it ‘the black pony locked outside his Empire’ now?” Shining sighed. “I have no problems with ponies who happen to have black fur. For Celestia’s sake, I have friends with black fur!” Hurriedly, he wrapped a hoof around the nearest dark-haired guard he could find. “See? Here’s that friend I was talking about!” The guard he was holding looked at him. “Sir, do you even know my name?” Shining grimaced. “…Bob?” The guard casually strolled away. “You’re just lucky I wore my nametag today.” On the other side of the wall, Sombra gravely shook his head. “And here I find I can’t even blame you, Shining; it’s been going on for millennia already, so why should it change now? Princess Celestia, the whitest pony around, runs all of Equestria herself! But her sister? The one with dark blue fur—” “Luna also runs Equestria, you moron!” Shining interrupted. “Not when she was Nightmare Moon, though,” Sombra continued, furrowing his brows. “The moment she got too ‘dark’ for Celestia—BAM!—straight to the moon she goes!” “Nightmare Moon was planning on doing terrible things to the world, Sombra! Even you can’t be so naïve as not to understand that.” “Nightmare Moon… terrible? Or terribly misunderstood?” He exhaled bitterly. “So many travesties against my fellow dark-haired creatures. Tirek? Born with fur of red and black? He never stood a chance. The moment he escapes his corrupt jailors—the moment he tries to turn his life around and hit the gym and bulk up a bit—you throw him right back into Tartarus and then place his key up on the top shelf where no one can possibly reach! “I don’t recall any fair trials happening for Tirek before he was locked up again. So where’s Tirek’s justice, Shining? Hmm? Is it somewhere in that big, fancy Empire of yours? Hmm? I’d be happy to come search for it. If it even exists, that is.” Up on the wall, Shining rested his head on the railing. “Can’t you just go back to the ridiculously stupid tactics already? You haven’t tried catapults yet, right? Or giant ramps and skis? Come on, bud. Anything but this!” Sombra pondered on that. “Fine. I guess this was a long shot anyways. Maybe I’ll build a bar or something. That sounds pointless enough.” And so he did. And no one mentioned that awkward conversation ever again. Under penalty of exile. Straight to the moon.