Look Simba, everything the light touches, is Yorkshire.
What about that dark place over there?
That is Lancashire Simba, you must never go there.
Connor suddenly felt hard prodding on his gut. He groaned in displeasure at the prodding and lazily waved away whatever was poking him and hid himself under the quilt. Twilight prodded and poked him several times with her hoof but to no avail. More drastic action was needed.
Twilight left the room for a moment and returned with a chalk board with her and began to scrape her hoof along the surface.
"ARRRRGH! STOP THAT AWFUL NOISE, MY HEAD HURTS!"
Twilight stopped scarping her hoof on the chalkboard and walked over to Connor, still under the quilt.
"Well it serves you right for that little prank you pulled."
"I said sorry," Connor mumbled from under the quilt. He felt like a herd of elephants had done the Riverdance on his brain.
"Get up Connor," Twilight said firmly.
Connor didn't move.
Twilight sighed and lit up her horn, using her magic to throw the quilt across the room.
"COLD! COLD!" he said juddering at the sudden temperature drop, "NAKED!"
"I gave you the chance Connor. Now," she said as she threw his Wonderbolt flightsuit at him, "Get dressed and come downstairs."
"You've seen me naked!"
"You've seen me naked, I'm even naked right now."
Connor thought for a moment, "Touche."
Twilight rolled her eyes and left the room, leaving Connor to get changed. He put on some underwear followed by the flightsuit and belt. He didn't intend to wear one every day but he would do as often as he could.
Why not? Might as well while I'm young and in great shape.
After slipping the suits boots on he went downstairs where he could smell breakfast being made. He walked into the kitchen to see Spitfire, Twilight, Spike, Rainbow and Pinkie.
"Hey Spits."
"Hey Sleepy Head, decided to get up did you?"
"Yeah. I decided it was better than listening to Twilight scrape a hoof on a chalkboard."
Spitfire laughed, "Well, we did try and wake you up but you were out like a light. We had to get more drastic."
"What time did you wake up?"
"About an hour before you."
"Surely it didn't take you an hour to wake me up?"
"It didn't, it took a few minutes."
"Then why the delay?"
"You were cuddling me."
Rainbow, Pinkie and Spike started snickering, prompting a scowl from Connor.
"Yeah he was," Spitfire continued, "He held me tight against his chest and cuddled me all night like teddy bear."
"No I didn't," he replied quickly, blushing.
"Yes you did," Spitfire said before turning to the others, "This morning every time I tried to get free he tightened his arms around me."
"Awwwww," the girls chorused.
"Well.........you shouldn't have such soft fur then. At least you didn't ruin my dream."
"What were yo dreaming about?" asked Spitfire.
"Mufasa was telling Simba the greatest piece of advice he could ever give him."
The assembled guests looked at Connor like he'd gone daft.
"What?" asked Rainbow.
"Mufasa told SImba never to go to Lancashire."
Everypony's faces was contorted in confusion. Even Pinkie. They looked amongst themselves and shrugged their shoulders, having no idea what Connor was on about.
"Here's your tea Connor," said Twilight placing a cup and saucer in front if him.
"Thanks Twilight."
Connor took a sip of tea and smiled in content.
"Good tea Twilight. Not as good as Yorkshire Tea but still good none the less."
"Err thanks?" Twilight responded, "Is this Yorkshire Tea good?"
Connor's eye twitched, "Is Celestia a good teacher?"
"YORKSHIRE TEA IS THAT GOOD?!"
"Yes it is. Just like the Yorkshire accent. For example, we say words in a certain way and can make for a very awkward situations. A brilliant example would be the use of the oh so innocent word ‘couldn't'. Try saying it in a Yorkshire accent, i.e. contract it again, and you'll see why the Yorkshire accent is truly brilliant."
Twilight squinted in concentration and did as Connor said in her mind. Her eyes widened and she was about to speak when she was cut off by uproarious laughter from Rainbow Dash and Pinkie.
"That's really hilarious!"
Connor was trying not to laugh himself.
"Very funny Connor," Twilight said unamused, "Any more 'funny' things about your accent you'd like to share?"
Connor tapped his chin in thought.
"Tin Tin Tin."
"What?" Twilight asked completely perplexed.
"Tin Tin Tin. What was I saying?"
"Tin Tin Tin," Twilight replied.
"That's what I said but not what I said."
Twilight's face once more contorted in confusion.
"Connor I think you had a little too much to drink last night," Spitfire said, just as confused as Twilight.
"Oh believe me I could have drunk more but Smith had to close to get his beauty sleep."
"Once more, what is it I have to work out?"
"What I mean when I say 'Tin Tin Tin'."
Twilight scribbled everything down on some parchment and smiled confidently.
"How long do I have?"
"Shall we say a couple of weeks?"
"Sure thing Connor. I guarantee I will find the answer."
Connor chuckled, "No you won't."
"Yes I will."
"No you won't."
"Yes I will."
"No you won't."
Spitfire, Rainbow, Pinkie and Spike heads moved back and forth as they watched the verbal tennis match between Conner and Twilight.
"Yes I will."
"No. You. Won't!"
"Yes. I. Will," Twilight said clenching her teeth.
Connor smirked, "No you won't."
Twilight frowned and rubbed her chin with her hoof in deep thought.
"Connor, would you like to make a bet?"
"Sure."
"Loser, has to do whatever the winner says."
"Deal," said a grinning Connor.
"Do you both Pinkie promise?" asked Pinkie with a slightly intimidating look.
Twilight and Connor looked at each other and nodded, and promptly recited the Pinkie Promise.
"Cross my heart hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye," both said unison.
Pinkie bounced up and down jubilantly, "Yay! And remember, nopony or no human or human-with-pegasus-wings-and-pony-parents, ever breaks a Pinkie Promise. Understood?"
Connor and Twilight nodded sheepishly.
"So," Rainbow started, "What will you have each other do?"
"If I win," replied Connor, "Twilight has to........go through a whole week without writing a check list."
Twilight gasped and reeled back in shock, "You evil monster!"
"Yes I am an evil, check list depriving monster!"
The group shared a laugh at Connor's 'evil' requirement.
"So Twily Sprinkles, what will you have me do?"
"Hmmmmm, if I work it out you have to........."
"Yes?" Connor replied with intrigue.
"Wear a dress made by Rarity."
Connor scoffed, "What is it with you ponies and wanting to see me in a dress?"
"You could always forfeit the challenge and forget about beating me," Twilight suggested 'innocently' as she wrote on some parchment.
"Absolutely not!" Connor replied with conviction, "There is no point in conceding defeat in a bet I know I will win."
"Are you sure about that?" asked Twilight.
"What do you mean?"
Twilight smiled sweetly and innocently, "I've already worked it out."
Connor blinked, "Bullshit."
Twilight held up a piece of parchment with 'Tin Tin Tin' written and underneath, what she thought it meant. Connor took the parchment and looked at it for several seconds. He slowly put the parchment down on the table and slowly stood up.
"Connor, are you OK?" asked Spitfire.
Connor walked into the library foyer, took in an almighty deep breath and let out his response.
"FUUU-"
MEANWHILE IN CANTERLOT
Luna was raising up from the throne, ready to hand it over to her sister for Day Court when an almighty sound that could give the Royal Canterlot Voice and run for its money. They looked in the direction of the profanity and found themselves looking in the direction of Ponyville.
"Dear Faust," said Celestia in shock, "That was the loudest profanity I've ever heard."
BACK IN PONYVILLE
Connor marched back into the kitchen, the ponies and Spike still in a little shock at Connor's reaction. He took one, hard long look at Twilight.
"How the bloody hell did you work it out?"
Twilight smiled and shook her head, "Swearing in my library Connor, tut tut, for that you can add a lovely new tiara to your lovely new dress."
Connor scowled, "Stupid bet. I'm not wearing a silly dress."
"You have to, you made a bet," Twilight responded.
"AND YOU PINKIE PROMISED!"
"What would your fellow Yorkshiremen think if you went back on your word?" Twilight asked in a reverse psychology ploy.
Connor sighed in defeat. Twilight was on the ball though. A Yorkshireman who breaks his word is no Yorkshireman at all.
"Is there nothing I can do to get out of it?"
Twilight hummed thoughtfully to herself as she rubbed her chin with a hoof, "No, sorry. Consider it payback for that little prank you pulled last night."
"But Pinkie and Rainbow were involved, why don't they have to wear dresses?"
"They didn't make a bet with me."
Rainbow and Pinkie snickered and Connor became desperate to salvage the situation.
"Your friends love wearing dresses!"
"I DO NOT LOVE WEARING DRESSES!"
Everyone looked at Rainbow, now looking like a rabbit in headlights, who had her teeth glared and wings spread. She slowly slunk back down to her seat and quietly ate her porridge, eliciting inquisitive stares from the others. She deliberately avoided eye contact as she ate, her cheeks burning red with embarrassment.
"I didn't say you specifically did," replied Connor cautiously, "I just said Twi's friends do."
"Rainbow? Is there something you want to tell us?" asked Spitfire.
"Absolutely not!"
There was another few seconds of awkward silence.
"So," Twilight continued, looking away from Rainbow, "After breakfast you can go over to Rarity and tell her the wonderful news."
"And if I don't?"
Twilight looked to Spitfire in an attempt to elicit sisterhood support.
"If you don't," Spitfire said, "I'll-"
She scooted over to Connor and began whispering in his ear. The unremitting look of horror on his face let everyone know the consequences would be disastrous.
"So, are you going to be a good girl--I mean good boy and let Rarity make you a lovely dress, and then wear it?"
Connor nodded meekly.
Damn these adorable ponies. They're making me soft.
Twilight squeed and clapped her hooves, "Rarity will be so happy! Spike, would you personally let Rarity know that Connor will be joining her today?"
"Will I?"
He bolted off faster than Rainbow Dash, whilst Connor quietly ate his breakfast awaited his doom.
Connor was sat in the boutique whilst Rarity, Rainbow, Spitfire and Twilight were making preparations. Rarity was ecstatic about making a dress for Connor. Connor tried in vain to persuade her not to, explaining in his world that men don't wear dresses. Rarity refuted this stating they weren't in his world any more so that cultural norm wouldn't apply in Equestria. She also stated Ponies were very tolerant and accepting and said he could say it's normal where he's from and ponies would accept it.
The girls were sorting through the materials whilst Spike kept an eye on Connor.
"You OK dude?"
"I will be if you let me go."
"Sorry dude, ain't happening."
"What's not happening Spikey Wikey?" asked Rarity as she trotted over.
"Connor wants me to let him go."
Rarity looked at the tied up Connor, "Sorry darling. But after your escape attempt you can't be trusted."
Connor fidgeted on the chair, the tightly tied ropes providing almost no movement.
"Did Applejack really have to use so much rope? I mean tying my limbs together then tying me to the chair?"
Rope was bound tightly around his ankles, knees and wrists; with more rope wrapped tightly around his waist securing his arms behind his back. More rope was wrapped around his thighs, waist and chest and the corresponding parts of the chair, tying him tightly in place. His wings were also bound and his bound ankles secured to the rung of the chair. All done, a little too enthusiastically, by Applejack who then went on to give Spitfire lessons in making knots.
"Well if you didn't try to escape we wouldn't have to have tied you up would we?" Rarity giggled, "Now, behave yourself or I'll make you a very bright, very frilly pink dress complete with matching bonnet and parasol."
Rarity trotted away merrily leaving and terrified Connor with Spike.
"Dude...........she means it."
Connor believed him.
An hour later and a now only-just-untied Connor, who decided to not escape under threat of a frilly pink dress, was now out of his flight suit and being fitted for the dress. It was just him and Rarity in the boutique, Rarity insisting in confidentiality, even though the others had already helped pick things out.
"You know it's still not too late to back out, you don't have to go through with this," Connor said hopefully.
"Yes we do, you Pinkie Promised" Rarity said as she tugged at the hem, "Now stop fidgeting, I want this dress to be perfect. Believe me Connor, I can make anypony look fabulous, even human males in a dress."
"I don't even have the right body shape."
"Stop looking for excuses Connor. It's just us now, there no need to be shy about this."
Connor sighed as Rarity continued tugging at the dress.
"Bloody hell this is embarrassing."
Half an hour later Rarity had finished making final touches. It did scare him slight at how quickly she made it. He was going to ask how she did it but the answer scared him so greatly he decided not to. He could live with the mystery.
"There, all done."
Rarity finished with the dress. The red, strapless and sleeveless dress hugged Connor's figure tightly, but did not make his masculine figure obvious. Connor had lost a little weight since coming to Equestria, so a slimmer figure unfortunately for him made the dress look better. The dress itself was similar to that worn by Katniss in The Hunger Games, except the 'skirt' part of the dress started at his waist. Rarity had even cast a hair lengthening spell, with Connor's permission, and tied his hair into a bun. She tied it in pace with a fiery looking broach that nicely complemented his hair. For some reason when he went through his transformation several weeks ago he also lost (almost) all his body hair. No chest hair, no facial hair, no arm-pit hair........at least he never had to shave again. Though he would have preferred to know that before he bought his razor.
She did want to add make up but Connor implored her not to. Rarity agreed on condition he would wear gold bracelets and necklace. Seeing as that wasn't at all a problem he agreed. The bracelets and necklace were both 9 carat gold and polished to Rarity's high standards.
Connor was stood in front of a full length mirror, looking at his slightly effeminate self.
"So darling, what do you think?" asked Rarity, who was stood just beside the mirror.
Connor placed his hands on his hips, "Does this dress make me look fat?"
*SMACK*
"ARGH!"
Connor's cheek started stinging from Rarity's firm hoof.
"I will not have such an uncouth question in my boutique," she said with a scowl.
"Damn Rarity, that hurt," Connor replied massaging his cheek.
Rarity rolled her eyes, "I thought you Yorkshiremen were 'natural born hard-arses', as you so....eloquently put it."
"We are, it's Equestria that's turning me soft."
"Of course it is darling," replied Rarity unconvinced, "Now why don't you walk up and down, let me get a look to see if there's any adjustments I need to make."
Connor did so. Using common sense he kicked the front of the dress to avoid stepping on it as he walked. The dress felt annoyingly comfortable and fit annoyingly well.
"Well, Connor darling?"
"Well what?" asked a clueless Connor.
Rarity rolled her eyes, "How does it feel? And be honest lest you wish to try the alternative."
Connor gulped. He knew what the alternative was and had no intention of suffering it.
"It feels.....nice. Comfy," he replied, cheeks red with embarrassment, "....errr, yeah.....nice and comfy."
"Don't be embarrassed Connor, you do actually look quite good in it."
A groan escaped Connor lips, "Great, I look good in a dress. As a man I couldn't be happier."
A few more minutes passed while Rarity went to fetch her friends. Connor waited anxiously in the boutique, sitting on a chair behind a screen. He wasn't tied up this time though. There was little need as he had no attention of going outside dressed as he was. Double face palming he sighed tiredly.
"What did I do to deserve this?"
"Play loud music in the middle of the night."
Connor took his hands from his face and saw Rarity standing there, smiling cheerily.
"You wouldn't be in this situation now if you'd behaved yourself last night. Really Connor, getting drunk and playing loud music through hidden speakers."
Connor looked down, trying to avoid looking at Rarity.
"It was still funny," he mumbled to himself.
"Now, come on darling. Our friends are waiting in the front."
Connor stood up slowly and followed Rarity, dread building with each and every step he took.
"Just wait here," Rarity said.
Connor did as he was told. The less time he spent in front of the others in a dress, the better. His heart though, began pounding harder and harder as the trepidation grew and grew.
If my sisters saw me now.......
He shuddered at the thought. As much as he loved his sisters, he couldn't bear the thought of them seeing him like this and taking advantage of it. He was brought back to his senses by Rarity calling for him.
"You can come in now Connor."
Connor took in a deep breath before exhaling, attempting to calm himself.
He walked slowly forward, being careful not to step on the inside of the dress, and slowly opened the door. He went through and came from around the changing screen. Twilight, her friends, Spike and Spitfire were all waiting. They all watched as Connor came into view. Everyone held a hoof, or claw in Spike's case, to their mouths in an attempt to not laugh.
"Looking good Stiff Wings," Spitfire snickered, "May I have the first dance?"
Rainbow completely lost it and clutched her belly, guffawing heartily, "Y-y-you l-look really pretty, P-princess Connor!"
Tears of laughter fell down her face and she was soon joined by the others, though they didn't laugh as heartily as Rainbow.
"Yeah yeah, go ahead and laugh," Connor groaned, folding his arms, "Get it all out of your system."
They continued to laugh, much to Connor's growing annoyance. He started clenching his jaw in agitation, seething inside at the humiliation.
I only played a prank, I didn't go out of my way to humiliate anyone.
He began to walk towards the back room again but felt magic envelope his body. He only just prevented himself from shouting out.
"Connor darling, where are you going? We've only just started."
He was levitated back onto the chair he occupied earlier.
"You don't want us to tie you up again do you?"
Connor faked a smile, "No. I'll stay."
"Excellent darling," Rarity replied joyfully, "Don't go anywhere dears, I'll just go and make some tea."
Rarity trotted off into the kitchen, leaving Connor with the others. Though the laughter had died down, there was still some snickering going on. Connor deliberately avoided eye contact with all of them, angry that they had taken this too far. He didn't mind pranks, but being humiliated and being made a fool of did not sit well with him.
"Connor, what's with the mark on your cheek?" asked Twilight, "It looks like a hoof mark."
"Rarity smacked me for asking a question."
The ponies looked sceptical.
"That doesn't sound like Rarity," Twilight replied, "What did you ask?"
"Does this dress make me look fat?"
Rainbow burst into laughter, Twilight rolled her eyes.
"I don't think she meant it harshly, I'm sure she was just playing around."
Folding his arms in annoyance at what Twilight said, he fumed inside but kept a positive face as to not let the ponies know how he was really feeling. The others had a look around Rarity's boutique, trying on several hats an so on, leaving Connor alone. Not that he minded. Another minute or so later Rarity returned with a large tray filled with tea cups and saucers, two large pots of tea and some cake.
"Here you are darlings, tea's ready."
Everyone went over to the coffee table where Rarity set the tray down and magically began pouring everyone some tea.
"No tea for me Rarity, I'm not thirsty," Connor said as politely as he could. He wasn't not thirsty, but he didn't want a drink given the situation he was in.
Rarity was a little taken back by what he said.
"Oh....well OK."
The others looked amongst themselves and shrugged their shoulders.
Connor sat in silence whilst the others talked amongst themselves about mundane things.
This is going to be a long day he thought.
Four agonising hours later it was finally time to leave. Connor was being helped out of the dress by Rarity who had also returned his hair to its natural state and original length. She had his flightsuit cleaned and dried which Connor was now putting back on behind a privacy screen. He was just fastening the belt as Rarity hung the dress up.
"I'll be sure to get this cleaned and returned to you as soon as I can."
"No need Rarity, I don't have anywhere to put it," he replied hoping to be rid of the thing.
"Oh, I thought you had a large walk-in wardrobe?"
Damn. Almost was rid of it.
"Yeah, I do."
"Then you can put it there. No need to let a lovely dress go to waste."
"Well if my sisters ever visit they'll be able to get plenty of use out if it. My second oldest sister is pretty much the same height as me so it should fit her, with a few minor adjustments."
Take the hint. Take. The. Hint.
That hope was dashed when he heard her laughing.
"Oh darling, this is YOUR dress. If your sisters ever wanted one, or many, I'd gladly make them."
Connor once again faked a smile. As much as he was angry about the humiliation he was put through, he valued his friendships with the ponies and didn't want to jeopardise it. He had already decided on how to get back at them.
"Well, I don't know if the opportunity to wear it again will come up......your efforts might have been for next to nothing."
Rarity waved a hoof dismissively, "Oh darling what reason do you need to wear it. Wear it just because."
Why do I get the feeling she may try to enforce that. Note to self, arrange an 'accident' that results in the dress being destroyed.
"I'll consider it."
No I won't.
"Splendid darling. Will you be returning to Cloudsdale now?"
"Yeah, go back and get tea ready."
"Having anything in particular?"
"Smoked haddock."
"Sounds delightful. Enjoy yourself deary. Bye now."
"Bye Rarity."
Connor walked out of the room and onto the main shop floor where the others were waiting. Spitfire got up and gave her coltfriend a hug and nuzzle.
"You looked good in that dress, pity you don't dress like that more often," she teased.
"Never going to happen. Just once was bad enough," he replied with a little venom.
Nopony replied to that, instead they just looked amongst themselves a little nervously.
"Well," Connor continued, "There's been enough fun for one day, I'm heading back. I'll see you guys later sometime."
He didn't give them any chance to reply as he put his bag around his waist and headed out of the boutique, quickly leaving a note in front of a ledger. Stepping outside, he discovered it was raining rather heavily.
"Perfect. Just. Fucking. Perfect."
He huffed and immediately took to the air, heading directly for Cloudsdale as fast as he could.
BACK IN THE BOUTIQUE
"Girls, did Connor seem.....agitated to you?" asked Twilight.
"Now that you ask, he did seem a little so," replied Spitfire.
They all looked at each other, each of them slowly coming to the same conclusion.
"Do you think we went too far?" asked Rainbow.
"Well you all did force him to come here, then tie him up after he tried to escape, then force him to wear a dress for several hours even though male humans don't wear dresses nor did he want to; so yeah, I think we went too far," replied Pinkie.
Everyone looked at Pinkie, her pointing each thing out making it clear why Connor seemed to be like he was.
"Then we all laughed at him," she added, "That must have really hurt."
"I wonder what he left," Twilight said aloud, trotting over to the ledger.
She levitated the note over to herself and saw it was a sealed scroll and addressed to Rarity.
"It's for you Rarity," Twilight replied as she levitated it over to her.
Rarity took the scroll out of Twilight's magic with magic of her own, opened the scroll and read it.
Her face became downcast as she read the note, something everyone else in the room noticed.
"Rarity, is something wrong?" asked Twilight.
Rarity looked up, trying her best not to cry. Putting on a brave face for her friends, she replied as happily as she could.
"No darlings, nothing's wrong but I do need to close early to work on an important project."
The others all looked at each other and nodded.
"We understand," replied Twilight, "We'll leave you to your work. Everypony else can come to the library if they wish. Bye Rarity."
"Bye Rarity," the others chorused.
"Bye darlings."
Rarity watched as they left. She walked over to the boutique door and locked it. Sighing sadly she walked into the backroom and put the note on her desk before walking over to the dress that Connor wore.
She took the dress in her magic, and promptly began to destroy it. With angry tears, she ripped the dress six ways from Sunday. Tearing away strip after strip, in a matter of seconds what was once a fine dress was now a pile of useless rags.
Tears streamed down her face as she looked at her creation.
She ran to her bedroom and threw herself on her bed, burying her head into her pillow and crying her eyes out.
MEANWHILE IN CLOUDSDALE
A seething Connor almost bust the door he opened it with such force. Pissing wet through from the rain, he closed the door and went upstairs and immediately started packing a bag containing some clean clothes and some toiletries.
It took no longer than a minute or so before he went back outside and took to the air again.
Dear Rarity (and her friends if they read this)
Thank you all so kindly for your treatment of me today. I thoroughly enjoyed being humiliated and demeaned by you all. Tying me up? Forcing me to wear a dress? And then laughing at me? I had a swell time with it all. No reason whatsoever to feel angry about it.
Rarity, that order I made the other day? Cancel it. If it's made I will either destroy it or deliberately not wear it.
If you make it, it will be your loss as I shall not pay for it.
I have never felt so humiliated. Even Bluebloods' actions in the hospital pale in comparison. He was being the arsewipe that he is, you are all supposed to be my friends (and marefriend in Spitfire's case) yet none of you came to my defence. You used me losing the bet as an excuse to back me into a corner and use my principle of keeping my word to get revenge for a harmless prank.
My prank harmed no-one and humiliated no-one.
You lot went out of your way to do both to me without considering how I felt about it. For ponies who preach love and tolerance you can be very insensitive little jerks. And 'playing around' Twilight? Have you ever had a hoof smack you around a bare cheek bone?
IT REALLY FUCKING HURTS!!
Anyway I'm going away for a few days. Don't bother coming after me, I'm not interested in hearing from ANY of you.
Your so-called friend Connor.
Twilight put the letter down after reading it to everyone. They all had downcast faces and Spitfire looked the saddest of them all.
"We really did go too far," Rainbow said, "Did he say where he was going?"
"No," replied Twilight sadly, "Even if he did, I don't think going after him is the best thing to do right now."
"Agreed," Applejack said, "We should wait until he comes back to us."
"Do you think he'll forgive us?" asked Fluttershy
Twilight looked pessimistically out of the window.
"I don't know Fluttershy.........I really don't know."