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By the time Twilight caught up with Rainbow Dash and Applejack, they had already been relaxing in the center of Ponyville. “What took you so long?” Rainbow Dash asked the panting unicorn, who looked up at her with a strong sense of aggravation.
Applejack missed it as she was scanning the sky. “What’s the weather supposed to be like for the celebration?”
Twilight consulted her official overseer’s checklist. “Clear blue skies. Why?” She looked up. “Oh.” The sky was pockmarked with white wispy clouds. “That isn’t right at all! Oooh, where is that weatherpony?!” She started to look very flustered.
“Hey, give Ditzy Doo a break.” Rainbow Dash spoke up, giving her a look. “She’s working two jobs and has a foal. So she’s a little behind schedule. Big deal.”
The lavender unicorn seemed to shrink in on herself. “I-I didn’t know. I’m sorry, I just…” Rainbow Dash sighed and looked apologetic, even without Applejack giving her a warning look. She couldn’t even be angry at Twilight.
“It’s okay…Sorry for snapping at you.” Rainbow Dash gave her a small smile. No wonder Shining Armor wanted her to get away from her studies for a bit…this pony was as asocial as any she’d ever met. Eager to move away from the awkwardness, Rainbow decided to ask Twilight something. “Say, do you know why Sweet Apple Acres is in charge of catering for the whole Summer Sun Celebration instead of Sugarcube Corner? No offense, Applejack.” She was quick to add to mollify the upset farmpony. “But after meeting Pinkie Pie it just seems weird that she wouldn’t be involved in planning a party. It’s probably her middle name.”
“Pinkie Party Pie! Oooh that sounds good!” The three ponies suddenly found a familiar pink face that had popped up in the middle of their little group. “It isn’t my real middle name but it sounds sooo good! I’m gonna tell everypony I meet to call me that! Pinkie Party Pie! Pinkie Party Pie! Pinkie Party—PMMHMH!” She said around a mouthful of Dash’s hoof.
“Where did you come from?” Rainbow Dash asked in annoyance. Pinkie was great for throwing parties but her bubbly enthusiasm and energy could quickly become grating. She withdrew her hoof to let Pinkie speak…something she quickly regretted.
“Hmm, well I came from a rock farm just outside of Ponyville, so I guess I’m a farmer just like Applejack!”
Applejack looked confused, which was shared by Twilight and Rainbow Dash. “Did you say, ‘rock farming?’”
“Yuperooni dooni!”
“…mind explaining that?”
“Weeell…..it’s supposed to be a secret, but okay!” Pinkie looked around to make sure there weren’t any other ponies around who could overhear. The ponies leaned in. “We say we’re a rock farm, but really we guard Equestria from the menace of the rock lords.” Pinkie Pie looked solemn.
“Rock lords? What are those? I’ve never heard of them.” Twilight tilted her head in confusion.
“Duh! If you knew it wouldn’t be a secret! Rock lords are…living rocks with strength and might, rising up to crash and fight! Rock lords—powerful living rocks! Shaking, quaking, crashing, breaking…”
“You’re pulling our hooves, aren’t you?” Rainbow Dash deadpanned. Pinkie looked her square in the face, her expression serious…for all of about three seconds. Then her lip trembled and she had to bit down. She snorted, giggling.
“Of course I am!” Pinkie squealed, falling back on her rump and laughing. “That’s just silly! But I had you going there, didn’t I?”
The three mares looked at each other and in unison, rolled their eyes. “Eh, I dunno there Pinkie. Rock lords? Seriously that is the most random and lame thing I have ever heard in my entire life.” Rainbow said, but her face betrayed a small grin. “I guess you’re a prankster, huh Pinkie?”
“Oh you bet!” Pinkie Pie grinned. “Nopony loves a good prank more than me!”
“I beg to differ, Rainbow Dash is the champion of pranking!” Dash bragged.
Pinkie smiled. “Great! Now we’ll have two—TWO—times the pranking fun in Ponyville!”
“Ah kin hardly wait.” Applejack’s voice was dryer than the Appleloosan plains. Twilight smiled awkwardly, trying not to be noticed. Rainbow just smiled enigmatically, wanting to let them sweat a bit.
“So, was any of that true?” She asked Pinkie Pie. “I mean, about rock farming and stuff? That was part of the joke, right?”
Pinkie shook her head. “Oh no, I did grow up on a rock farm! That part was 100% true!” She bounced in place. “I worked on the rock farm with my parents and my sisters! I used to rotate the rocks from one field to another!” She stopped bouncing as a sad expression crept across her face. “It wasn’t really fun…it was all gray, with no fun, and no laughter!” Her puffy hair seemed to deflate like a balloon with a hole in it. “I loved my family, but I wasn’t happy there.” She gave Rainbow Dash a knowing look that made the rainbow-maned pony wonder if Pinkie knew more than she let on. But that look was gone in a flash. “But then I saw the most amazing rainbow that made me smile and smile until I never wanted to stop!” She looked at her flank as she perked up, her mane inflating. “That’s when I decided I wanted to make everypony else smile too, so I threw a big party for my family and they were all smiling and dancing and that’s when I got my cutie mark!”
“A partying cutie mark…would never have guessed.” Rainbow joked, idly wondering if this was going to become a thing: ponies telling her their life stories and telling her to be true to herself or some junk. She shook her head, “But then, why aren’t you involved in preparing for the Summer Sun Celebration?”
“Because I couldn’t get a permit for my party cannon.” Pinkie said breezily, as if it were an everyday thing. The idea that it just might be for her was the most startling thing for the other three ponies with her.
The lull in the conversation was filled by the arrival of a harried looking gray pegasus. “Sorry! Sorry I’m late!” They looked up to see Ditzy Doo pushing at the clouds over their heads.
“Hey Ditzy.” Rainbow Dash took to the air. “How are you?”
“Okay! A little busy…but fine.” Ditzy bucked at a cloud, dissipating it. “Had to deliver…” she panted. “A letter from the Mayor…for everypony in town about…the celebration!” She kicked at another cloud, having to hit it a couple of times before it broke apart.
Rainbow flew next to her. “Why don’t you take five and let me take care of it? I can have it done before you say muffin!” Ditzy looked up at her gratefully, but shook her head.
“N-no…I need the money.” She puffed.
“It’s not like I was going to take your pay!” Dash snorted. “Call this a freebee for that time in summer camp when you didn’t tell anypony about me breaking curfew.” Without another word Rainbow, for lack of a better word, dashed about from one cloud to another and quickly bucking them apart. Below, Twilight, Applejack and Pinkie Pie looked straight up and watched Rainbow Dash, their eyes zipping back and forth like a ball in a tennis match. “And loop de loop around…” Rainbow grinned as she jammed her hoof through the last cloud. “Ta da! All finished.”
The ponies on the ground looked around. There wasn’t a single cloud left in the sky. Rainbow grinned at their awestruck faces. She turned to enjoy the look on Ditzy’s face, only to be tackled out of the sky by a fierce glomp. “Gyaah!” Rainbow Dash grunted as she hit the ground, still being hugged by the endearingly wall-eyed mare.
“Thank you so much Rainbow Dash!” Her eyes were tearing up. “It’s just been so hard getting everything ready for the celebration and Dinky and—”
Dash grunted from underneath her. “It’s okay Ditzy, really.” She gently pried the gray mare off and climbed back to her hooves—just in time for Pinky to hop right in front of her.
“Oh wow Dashie that was really amazing! You were whoosh, zoom, vroom….!”
“Aheh, yeah, thanks.” Rainbow liked admirers as much as the next pony but this pony was starting to wear out her not very great reserves of patience.
“Want a cupcake?” Pinkie asked out of the blue as she pulled a tray of cupcakes out of her mane (!) and offered them to the assembled ponies.
Ditzy Doo looked them over with a discerning eye…even if she had to constantly twist her head around to make it line up. “These aren’t muffins…what sort of pony do you take me for?”
“I think I’ll pass too.” Twilight said as she examined the cupcakes for signs of pink hair in them…the pink frosting didn’t help. “How did she even…”
“Don’t ask.” AJ said. “I try to keep her as far away from mah farm as ah can…”
Rainbow Dash shrugged. “They look fine to me.” She flicked the bottom of the tray with her tail, sending two cupcakes hurtling up into the sky. With a flick of her wings, she managed to snag one, then the second, with her mouth and swallow them whole. She chewed noisily, and messily. “Hmnyumhumnm…theesh aw gud!” Rainbow said around a mouthful, swallowing. “They—” her eyes widened suddenly as tears leaked from her eyes, her cheeks suddenly aflame.
Opening her mouth, she spat out whatever was left and started wafting her hooves over her inflamed tongue, trying to cool it down. She gestured frantically at the others, who all looked on with concern. All except for Pinkie.
“I knew you’d love my special cupcakes! You can really taste the hot sauce can’t you? Ooh are we playing charades now? I love charades! Okay, one word or two?” Dash raised one hoof frantically, gesturing to her mouth. “One word! Is it salt? Sugar? Harvey Wallbanger?”
“Water!” Rainbow croaked desperately. “Water!”
Ditzy pointed to the town fountain only to nearly be knocked on her rump when Rainbow Dash shot past her and proceeded to dunk her head in. She emerged a moment later, her mane plastered to her neck as she panted.
“You’re good!” Pinkie Pie said. “I bet I can hold my breath longer though! Ready, go!” She dunked her head into the fountain.
Rainbow Dash facehooved and resisted the urge to kick the strange pony right in her pink rump. “Ung!! She is just so…so…”
“Random?” Applejack offered.
“YES!” Rainbow shouted.
Ditzy shrugged her wings. “She’s just being Pinkie Pie. You get used to it…I think.” She added. “Try to relax Dashie.”
“Whatever.” She grumbled. “So, that takes care of the weather. What’s next Twilight?”
Twilight checked her list. “Decorations.” She said simply. “Um, Rainbow Dash? What you did for your friend, that was…neat.” Her purple cheeks pinkened slightly.
“Neat?” Rainbow Dash pulled a face then softened it when she saw Twilight flinch as if afraid she had said the wrong thing. “Yeah, I’ll accept that. So, who’s in charge of that?”
Ditzy waved her hoof in the air. “I know, I know! It’s Rarity! I know because she told me when she said she’d make Dinky a special dress for the celebration!” She smiled, one eye wobbling up and away.
Rainbow Dash groaned. “Oh no, not Miss Priss!”
“Aww, c’mon it won’t be that bad.” Applejack nudged her. “C’mon, now, y’all have a job to do and you need to see it through.”
“Fine…” Rainbow grumbled.
Ditzy gave her a comforting nuzzle and draped her wing over her back. “Why don’t you walk with me as we go?” She suggested. “I’m sure Applejack can keep Twilight company.”
The cyan pegasus nodded as the four mares made their way through town.
Pinkie Pie meanwhile still had her head in the fountain. A chestnut brown stallion with spiky hair and an hour glass cutie mark walked past and regarded her curiously for a moment. “Strange folk these ponies….love it!” He whickered and went on his way.
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Ditzy Doo and Rainbow Dash walked side by side, Applejack and Twilight hanging back to give them some privacy. After a few moments Ditzy spoke up. “So, what’s put the thunder in your cloud?”
Rainbow twitched her wings. “Nothing.”
Sighing, Ditzy rolled her eyes…in opposite directions. It was quite a sight. “Don’t give me that Rainbow. It’s obvious something’s bothering you. So tell me…without the attitude.” Ditzy nudged her. “I may not be that much older than you, but I can still bend your flank over my lap!” She flicked her wings menacingly as if to slap Dash’s backside with them.
The blue pegasus opened her mouth to protest at the very idea only to quail under Ditzy’s gaze…when she broke out the ‘mom eyes’ there was no refusing her. Ditzy might be a silly pony most of the time, but when she got in mom-mode…
“Okay…” Rainbow Dash sighed. “I just…I don’t even know where to start.”
“How about the part why you didn’t want me to know about you being the student of Princess Celestia?” Ditzy’s question came out so neat and pat that it actually took a moment for Rainbow Dash’s brain to actually register it.
“Y-you knew?!” She yelped. “Fluttershy *promised* me…”
Ditzy gently cuffed her with one wing. “Fluttershy would never break a promise, you dodo—you know that. You think I wouldn’t keep track of my old campers?” She gave Dash a look. “Or that Fluttershy would never talk about you? Hay, she talks about you all the time.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, she’s always saying, ‘I wonder what Rainbow Dash is doing,’ or ‘Rainbow Dash’s birthday is coming up, think I should send her something?’ ‘I just sent Rainbow Dash another letter, I hope she gets it’ or ‘when is that featherbrain going to take five minutes to write me back?’ ” She paused. “Okay, one of those things she didn’t say, but I’m not telling you which.”
“I…I…” Ditzy’s golden eyes softened as Dash struggled to form a response.
“Hey, c’mon now…I didn’t tell you that to make you feel bad. When you do write Fluttershy a letter she’s on cloud nine for days afterwards. And we’re kind of getting off topic: the point is that I knew you were Princess Celestia’s student for a while now. Fluttershy and I are really happy for you…I’m just wondering why you’re not.”
Rainbow trotted in silence while she thought. Ditzy recognized the rare expression on Rainbow’s face and gave her time. Exhaling softly, the rainbow mare explained. “I guess I didn’t want ponies to see me as a failure.”
The incredulous look on Ditzy’s face said it all, but she still felt obliged to say out loud: “You’re not a failure! Where did you get such a—a derpy idea as that?” She broke out the unkind nickname some ponies used for her.
“When you think of somepony that’s supposed to be Princess Celestia’s student, what do you think of?” Dash asked. “Everypony thinks of some super magical, super smart and wise and nice and classy pony…whenever they look at me, they don’t see that. Mainly because I’m NOT that.”
Ditzy gently pushed her nose against Rainbow’s neck. “You’re an amazing pony Rainbow Dash.”
“I know.” Rainbow’s voice was matter of fact. “I know I’m good. I’m Rainbow Dash, I’m bucking awesome!” She gave Ditzy a look. “But that’s because I’m being me. When I’m being Princess Celestia’s student…I can’t ever meet the expectations! It’s like expecting an earth pony to be a great flier, it just can’t happen. I like challenges…but I don’t like the impossible. I don’t care about ponies judging me…but they aren’t judging me by my flying or anything I can do or care about. They’re judging me by all the stuff I *don’t* care about. It’s like I can’t win. And you know I hate that.”
She paused. “So why should I tell ponies here that I’m Celestia’s student? When they’d ask how it happened I’d have to say, ‘Oh I just did the most spectacularly amazing thing ever but I can’t do it again even though I’ve been trying and training forEVER…” Dash groaned. “My greatest achievement and nopony here would even believe that I did it. It’s like I haven’t accomplished anything at all—THAT makes me a failure.”
After a minute Ditzy leaned over and gently rested her head atop Rainbow Dash’s mane. “Funny, from what I recall making the impossible happen is what got you your cutie mark.” She tapped Rainbow’s flank with her wings.
“Ditz…”
“If ponies are seeing somepony else instead of you, then MAKE them see just how much more amazing you are than whoever they expect you to be. Don’t let some imaginary pony set the standard—make a completely new one.” Ditzy smiled encouragingly. “And anypony who doesn’t like you after all that is the kind of pony that’s *never* satisfied, so who cares?”
Rainbow Dash gave a rueful sigh. “Yeah…thanks Ditzy. When did you get so wise and stuff?”
“I’m a mom.” The gray mare winked, “It’s part of the job description.”
“It’s kinda funny…I remember you when you were a counselor in training...we loved having you because you were so much fun to be around, especially when you did something silly.” Dash cracked a smile, and Ditzy returned it, albeit somewhat sheepishly. “What is it you used to say whenever you messed something up?”
“It’s my first day?” Ditzy suggested.
Dash shook her head. “No, not that, the other one.”
“The Daleks did it?”
“No….”
Ditzy’s eyes widened in realization. “Oh. You mean…”
“I just don’t know what went wrong!” They said together, sharing a laugh. After taking a minute to let that out of their systems, Ditzy brought up a new line of conversation.
“So what do you think of Ponyville?”
Rainbow shrugged. “Eh, it’s okay. Could be cooler. I mean, there aren’t any racetracks or anything but there’s a definite lack of snobbishness, so I guess it evens out.”
“The ponies here are really nice.” Ditzy informed her. “Dinky really likes it here.”
“I guess being a unicorn and living in Cloudsdale wasn’t an option?” Dash guessed.
Ditzy Doo smiled with a touch of sadness. “Yeah…”
Sensing she’d said the wrong thing, Rainbow Dash thought of something to lighten the mood. “I bet Ponyville has better muffins though.”
“Yup!” Ditzy giggled, her eyes gleaming. “Oh muffins muffins muffins!” She hugged herself giddily. “You’ve got to try the blueberry muffins! Or maybe the cranberry! Hm…don’t tell me, I’m really good at guessing the perfect type of muffin for each pony.”
“Yeah, I bet you are.” Rainbow Dash looked behind her to see Twilight and Applejack, wondering what they were talking about but mostly making sure they weren’t paying attention to her and Ditzy Doo. “Thanks D. You’re the best.”
Ditzy smiled her most endearingly goofy smile. “Aww, you’re being silly.” She cooed as she nuzzled Rainbow Dash like a filly, making her blue cheeks flush crimson.
“C’mon Ditzy…cut that out.” She mumbled, embarrassed and strangely buoyed.
“So tell me, what’s the Princess like?” Her companion asked, prancing about on her hooves. “Is she really nice? I bet she’s nice…and pretty! Do you think she’d like muffins?”
An easy smile worked it way across Rainbow’s face. “Well, I DO have a few stories…Promise to keep them to yourself?”
“Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a muffin in my eye!” Ditzy said solemnly, making the appropriate gestures with her hoof to imitate crossing her heart, flapping her forelegs like wings, and then sticking her hoof in her eye.
“…That’s a yes, right?” A confused looking Rainbow Dash half-confirmed, half-asked. “Aaanyway, so this one time for April Foals Day, Celestia promised she’d spend the day with me. But of course some kind of prissy noble had a hissy fit about something dumb but couldn’t wait a day to see her. I was pretty bummed, but Celestia had an idea so she could do both things at the same time.”
Dash’s grin grew toothy. “She put me on the throne and put her crown and stuff on me. Then she hid behind the curtains and used a spell to cast her voice through me, like some kind of weird ventriloquist act.” Ditzy smiled as she started to picture it. “So here was this rich aristocrat, huffing and puffing about something so stupid I can’t even remember it. About five minutes into his rant he looks up and sees yours truly sitting on throne, wearing the crown and all that.” Rainbow Dash grinned as Ditzy started giggling. “But wait, we haven’t gotten to the best part! After he finishes picking his jaw up from off the floor, I announce—in Celestia’s voice—that everything’s fine and I AM Celestia, I’ve just been changed into a filly by a magic spell.”
“Hee hee!” Ditzy Doo’s eyes were getting moist the more she pictured it.
“So after this bozo finally shuts up he asks if there’s anything he can do to help. So Celestia says that she can transfer the spell to another pony, but only one who is currently having a worse day than her. And since Duke Whatsits was just telling us how awful things were for him and she knew he was a loyal subject…” Dash’s composure cracked as she started laughing too. “He went dead white in like a second flat! Fell all over himself explaining how it wasn’t a big deal and that while he’d just LOVE to help, he was in fact having a good day! A great day even! Then he just gave me a quick bow and bolted for the door! Best April Foals Day ever!”
Ditzy fell on her side, laughing. “Hahaheehee! That’s so funny!” She and Rainbow laughed together for a minute while they waited for Twilight and Applejack to catch up. Wiping her eye, Ditzy pointed out an ornate building. “That’s the Carousel Boutique, Rarity’s shop.”
Rainbow Dash’s mirth had considerably subsided. “Yeah…thanks Ditzy.”
“Thanks again for helping me with the weather Rainbow Dash!” Ditzy smiled. “I’m gonna go fly past the school to see how my muffin’s doing.” She flapped her wings. “See you later!”
“Bye!” “So long!” “Take care, darlin’!” The three ponies below called as she flew off.
“She seemed very nice.” Twilight Sparkle said to Rainbow. “Did you two have a good talk?”
“Heh, yeah.” Rainbow Dash nodded. “We were just catching up…she used to be my counselor in flight camp. Good times…what were you two talking about?”
Twilight shook her head frantically. “Nothing!” Applejack nodded, her nose crinkling as her eyes darted from side to side.
Dash shook her head. Worst liars ever. Still, she didn’t want to press them if it meant they would dig into her talk with Ditzy. “Whatever, let’s go see how Rarity is doing with those decorations.”
Walking up to the door of the boutique, Rainbow knocked. “Coooo-ming!” Came the far too cheery voice of Rarity. It made the fur on the back of her neck stand up. The door swung open “Welcome to the Carousel Boutique, where everything is chic, unique and magnifique!” Rarity beamed. “Oh it’s you darling! I knew you couldn’t stay away for long!”
Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes only to think that if she kept that up, she’d end up looking like Ditzy Doo by the day’s end. She walked inside, followed by Applejack and Twilight. “Look, we’re here about the decorations for the Summer Sun Celebration? How’re those coming along?”
Rarity’s eyes sparkled as they lit up. “I just *knew* a mare from Canterlot with your natural beauty would of course be interested in MY exquisite plans for the Celebration!” She danced on her hooves. “I have them all at town hall, just waiting to be hung up.”
“Well, great we’ll just be going—” Dash turned for the door, only to find it shut. She slowly turned around to see Applejack whispered something into Rarity’s ear. Rarity’s face took on predatory look that a timberwolf would’ve been intimidated by.
“Indeed we are going…we’re going to the spa!” She said delightfully.
Rainbow Dash was dumbstruck. “To the what now?”
“Maaaake overrrr!” Rarity called as she magically dragged Rainbow to the spa by her tail.
“Heeeeeeelp!” Rainbow Dash reared, batting her hooves as she pawed at the floor. “For the love of Celestia, HELP ME!”
Applejack and Twilight fell against each other, laughing as Rainbow Dash was left alone in Rarity’s magical grip, to work her torturous magic upon.
“Nooooooooooo!”
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