//------------------------------// // Avoidence // Story: Paradoxes, Timelines, and Consequences // by Frost Bear //------------------------------// “Last stop, Crystal Empire!” the conductor announced. Twilight looked up to her daughter, “Ready to meet your uncle?” As soon as the train stopped, Starlight jumped out of her seat and ran to the door. She looked around for Shining Armor. Among the crowd were numerous white ponies with blue hair. “Wow,” Spike whistled, “What are the odds of so many same colored ponies being in the same spot?” “Do you see uncle Armor?” “I don’t think so. We should get out of the crowd.” The pair struggled to move past the herd. Careful steps were taken to avoid stomping on someone’s tail. Even though there was an accidental trip or two. Starlight accidentally bumped into a royal guard when Spike pushed her. “Woah, you ok there?” the stallion asked. “I’m fine, just didn’t expect my brother to shove me that hard,” Starlight glared back at Spike. “HEY! It’s not my fault some green filly crawled under me.” “Put a cork in it, Spike.” Suddenly the crowd froze. “Did she say Spike? Like the hero of the Empire?” a random mare gasped. “It can’t be! But I did hear dragons age differently.” some stallion whispered. “Spike! Over here! You gave me an autograph at the Equestria Games, remember?” many rapid fans foamed at the mouth. “Ah sh-“ an etherial bubble formed around Spike, Starlight and the royal guard, “-ining Armor?” “Eeyup,” the royal guard nodded with a grin behind his helmet, “Didn’t recognize you with that growth spurt, Spike.” “What’s with the Armor? Did the Crystal Empire get attacked again?” “Worse. Cadence has been having mood swings and cravings!” Shining Armor trembled. Spike’s many fans bounced off the bubble shield. Starlight was almost terrified by the screaming mares wanting to have their way with her brother. Spike and Shining Armor ignored them as pests. Spike had experience being in their position over a certain unicorn. Shining Armor was more interested in avoiding Cadence for the next few months. “So, I hear you got a daughter now,” Shining quipped. “Um…” Starlight stared at him, “Do… Do you think I’m Twilight?” “Well you are a purple unicorn traveling with a dragon.” “You can not be this dumb,” Spike groaned. “I’m pretty sure I’m pink,” Starlight pouted, “You should get your eyes checked. I’m your niece.” “That’s funny, Twily, next you’ll tell me that gorgeous alicorn is our mother.” Looking to where Shining Armor was pointing at, they saw Twilight trotting over to them. The crowd dispersed to clear a path for her. The stallions stared at Twilight as she passed by. The mares gossiped about her behind her line of sight. Fillies and colts were amazed by her appearance. One of the mares smacked her boyfriend for ogling Twilight. “BBBFF! It’s me, Twilight!” she yelled. “Wait, really?” Shining Armor glanced at Twilight, then to Starlight, back to Twilight then Starlight again, then he stared at Spike. “I’m serious. There is no way you are this stupid,” Spike growled as he threw his arms towards Twilight. Shining Armor dispelled the shield, leaving Spike to be assaulted by his fans. Starlight dove away from him. “Wow, The letter you wrote didn’t mention you looked this good,” Shining’s jaw dropped. “Thanks,” Twilight smiled, “Is Cadence doing ok? I know she’s been pregnant for um… how long has it been?” “Two months,” Shining frowned, “Only seven more agonizing months of near executions and broccoli pizza.” “Broccoli?! On pizza?!” Twilight shrieked, “What sort of monster would create such a thing?” “It’s trending in San Faundisco.” A nearby deer with an afro and bellbottoms huffed as he carried his boombox onto the train. “Those deer were nothing but trouble when they got here,” Shining glared as the train left the station. “Thankfully a better crowd showed up.” “Um… that sounds kind of… racist, uncle,” Starlight stated. “What? Do you know how hard it’s going to be for Cadence to find me in this crowd? I hope these guys stay for a long time.” “Well, we really should be going to the castle to check on Cadence, the mirror portal, maybe a little lesson on love for Starlight…” “Or we can take a tour of the Empire! It’s changed a lot since you last visited! We got a sports arena that held the Equestria Games.” “We were here for that,” Twilight deadpanned, “Everyone was here when that happened.” Spike dragged himself away from his fans, “I just signed a photo of me saving everyone from that giant ice cloud.” “I wasn’t,” Starlight squeaked, “But it sounded like fun.” “Then it’s settled! We’ll go to the Crystal Stadium first!” Shining Armor pulled the three of them to the stadium. They tried to tell him to stop but he didn’t listen. When they arrived at the stadium, Shining Armor began talking about the Equestria Games. “Um, This is nice but… I don’t really care about the sports, Uncle Armor,” Starlight stated. “Please, call me Shining,” he began to sweat, “How about some authentic Crystal Empire food?” “I’m not hungry. Maybe la-“ “GREAT! Let’s go!” Shining Armor dragged them to a nearby restaurant. “Shining, please, we really need to go to the castle,” Twilight pleaded. “But there’s so much to do outside the castle!” he panted, “You wouldn’t want to waste a day like this? Would you?” “Uncle Shining, there are plenty of days to hang out with you but mom needs to use the um… mirror portal thing… and I want to see aunt Cadence.” Shining Armor stopped and sighed, “Ok fine. Guess I can’t avoid her all day.” “Geeze, you act like Cadence wants to kill you or something,” Spike grunted. “It’s the pregnancy! Her mood swings go off and on at random! She’s either very happy or ready to eat my face, both in a bad and good way!” “How can having your face eaten be goo-,” Twilight gaged, “Never mind. Now that I think about it, mood swings are normal for a pregnancy. However, they may have a stronger affect on alicorns. Wonder if Luna or Celestia can confirm this theory, hmm…” Starlight gave her mother strange looks. “Alright… So, the castle…” Shining Armor trailed off, “Um… where is the castle?” “It’s in the center of the Empire, right? Starlight stated, “So we should head to the center… where ever that is.” “Where are we?” Spike asked. Twilight looked up to the nearest street sign, “We’re on 7th Road. Um… is that north or south of the castle?” “Which way is north?” Shining tilted his head. Spike facepalmed, “How is the prince of the Crystal Empire lost in the Crystal Empire?” “I married into this position, I didn’t ask for it.” “Then let’s split up. Me and Shining will go south while mom and Starlight go north.” “What is we don’t find the castle?” Starlight inquired. “Head the other way, duh.” “Ok, see you two at the castle oh and Shining,” Twilight pulled her brother close, “Do not lose Spike. If you lose Spike, Cadence won’t be the only alicorn you’d have to worry about.” Shining Armor gulped. “Don’t worry, mom, I’m kind of a celebrity in the Crystal Empire,” Spike gloated. “I’m just worried about you,” Twilight pinched Spike’s cheek, “Stay safe!” As Twilight and Starlight headed north, Spike and Shining Armor headed south. “You had a compass on you,” Shining accused. Spike flipped his compass like a coin, “I’ve been around. Still takes some getting used to.” “You know a good place to get some drinks?” “I’m considered a teenage dragon so I’m not sure if I can legally drink or not.” “I’m the prince of the empire! If you can’t, I’ll say I just changed the law.” The two laughed as they headed down to a nearby tavern.