The aftermath of my fight with Mom felt … strange.
On the surface everything seemed normal around me. The Canterlot night seemed the same as always. A thin throng of ponies continued to wander the streets despite the late hour. I passed the odd patrol of guardponies, and the sky was nearly cloudless as the Mare in the Moon stared down on us.
Yet for all that outward normality, it felt like so much in my life had been upturned recently. So much of my worldview had been upset by the revelations that had been laid on me. First, I had been told that I was the bearer of the Element of Loyalty and that I needed to use the legendary artifacts called the Elements of Harmony to defeat Nightmare Moon, not that I had a real clue on how they were used yet. Then there was the revelation of the Circle’s existence, both what it was and what it supposedly did.
For my entire life, the ponies most important to me—ponies that I loved—had lied to me. They had done so deliberately, conspiring against my grandmother the Empress for the better part of a millennium. I was now relatively certain their true intentions were to put Luna back on the throne, despite all the very good reasons that was likely to be a bad idea. Thus, I was placed in a terribly conflicted position on what to do.
My first talk with Mom on the topic of the Circle had not gone well, to say the least. The follow-up conversations hadn't gone any better. I was just so ... so mad at them. What made it all the worse is that I didn't even have a neutral third party I could talk about it to. After all, most of my family seemed to be involved with the Circle, and I didn't really have much in the way of friends outside of that. But … talking to Her Majesty could have terrible complications, and even worse fallout if things went wrong. I didn't know what to do.
I had gotten into another round with my mom after I found her talking with another one of her Circle agents in my home—Cloud Solaris, if I remembered her name right. She’d gotten caught in the crossfire, and I felt all the worse for exploding on somepony I had only just met. Then Mom had gone and said … well, I stormed out of Sparkle Manor after the argument.
Strange. I used to think of my home as a place of safety; a sanctuary against the world when I needed one. Now, I couldn't help but see it as a den of spies. A mere headquarters of a larger organization with my parents and other family plotting against our grandmother.
I didn't want to get drawn into the conflict brewing within my family, but could I really stand on the sidelines? And I knew they would eventually come to a head. The long-dead Queen Celestia had put plans into motion, built an entire organization that had lasted centuries, to save her sister. They weren't going to stand still once Nightmare Moon returned, and after so many conversations with my grandmother about the subjects of politics and power, she wasn't going to leave Luna in a position where she could threaten her.
And that was the problem, wasn't it? As long as Luna was alive, she was a threat to the Empress. Her mere existence made her a rallying point for ponies to gather in opposition against Her Majesty, and Grandmother wasn't in the habit of tolerating threats.
Which put me in a spot. The Empress wanted me to use the Elements of Harmony to stop Nightmare Moon. If I did so and cured Luna of the madness that possessed her, and then Grandmother went ahead and killed her in cold blood to protect her position, did that make me complicit in a murder? But what else could I do? Aid Luna in trying to overthrowing Her Majesty? No, I couldn't do that to family. But putting Luna on the throne, albeit alongside of Grandmother, was exactly what the Circle and so many of my family members were plotting to do.
I was going in mental circles now. Around and around I went, looking at the problem from every angle, but I couldn't find a solution. It was driving me crazy. I was running out of time as everything threatened to explode on me.
Thus, I found myself before the door to Sunset’s apartment. I didn't know where else to go to so late at night, not when I didn't want to sleep at Sparkle Manor. I needed to get away from ... everything, even if I knew deep down this wasn’t more than a reprieve.
Sunset blinked in surprise when she opened the door. “Twilight? What happened?”
“Happened?!” I blurted out. “What do you mean ‘happened?’ Nothing happened.” I gave her the best smile I could manage, even though everything was far from alright.
Sunset frowned, not looking the least bit convinced. “You look awful.”
“I do?” I asked, trying to sound innocent. I didn't want to just dump all of my problems on her. Though I realized that if I didn't want to do that, then I had made a pretty big error in judgement by coming here to start with.
“Yeah.” She pointed at me from top to bottom. “Your mane's a mess, your eye is twitching, and one of your ears is flicking like crazy.”
“That ... doesn't necessarily mean anything,” I said, feeling my resistance crumbling.
Sunset shot me a flat look. “Twi...”
I let out a long, tired sigh. “Sunset, could I maybe move in with you? At least for a bit?”
“Um...” She ran a hoof through her mane and her face flushed ever so slightly. “That's ... that's a big step. And kinda sudden.”
My eyes widened as I realized what it must have sounded like. “I-I mean, that is, I was wanting to ask, ack!” I covered my face, flushing even deeper red. “Can I start over?”
Sunset took a deep breath. “So ... what is it?”
I took a couple of seconds to gather my thoughts. “I'm kinda having an argument with my parents.”
“Oh. Yeah, sure, c'mon in.”
My shoulders slumped as I realized how that must have sounded too. Instead of me coming to her place for happy reasons, I had messed it up by turning this into an issue about my parents. “Sorry.” I stepped into her apartment, not even able to look at her face to face. “I don't mean to hurt your feelings. I didn't mean to make this sound... Sorry.”
Sunset shook her head. “No no, it's fine.” She closed the door after me. “Stay as long as you want.”
“It is nice to have somepony I can trust like this,” I said, trying to salvage things.
Sunset nodded. “Always.”
“Thanks.” I hesitated for a moment before nuzzling her. “You're the best.”
Sunset nuzzled back. “What happened?”
Deciding there was no point in trying to avoid the topic, I said, “My mom and I got into an argument about ... politics.”
My fillyfriend wrapped a leg around my shoulders and guided me to the couch. “Tell me about it.”
I frowned, trying to think about the best way to put it. Did I really want to drag her into this big mess? Did she deserve to know the truth? Had I already dragged her into this just with my presence? “I ... don't exactly agree with some things she's doing.”
“That's nice and vague.” Sunset nudged me. “Come on, you can talk with me about anything.”
I rubbed the back of my neck, not feeling the least bit comfortable with the topic. But I could feel my resistance crumbling under the need to talk to somepony, anypony about what I had been going through. “Some of what we're arguing about is really sensitive. It's not something I want getting around. Ponies could get into trouble if it did.”
“I can keep a secret, if that's what you're worried about.”
I took a deep breath, steadying myself for the plunge. I told her everything I knew about involving the Circle, about my talks with Argentium the Runescaled, my arguments with Cadance and Mom—everything I could think of.
After I finished, Sunset stared at me, wide-eyed as she digested everything. “That ... that's ... wow.”
I sighed. “You’re telling me. Not everyday that you learn about a centuries-old conspiracy that's been tied up with your entire life. You may have noticed that I haven't exactly been on the top of my game lately.” I did feel little better getting all of it off my chest. That was something, at least.
“I noticed you'd been acting a bit weird, but I had no idea.” Sunset shook her head to clear her thoughts. “Does the Empress know?”
I nodded. “Near as I can tell, although I haven’t talked to her about it. I worried there ... might be consequences if I told her that they tried to recruit me. What with us planning on using the Elements against Nightmare Moon. I'm sure you can understand how she would feel about a threat to one of her most important plans.”
Sunset’s ears flattened. “Oh.”
I groaned. “I don't even know what to do about this! What do you do about something like this? I don't want them to all be arrested by the Empress, but they’re plotting against her! And apparently they've been around since the founding of the Empire, and the Empress knows all about them.”
“Really? That's ... kinda crazy. You sure?”
I nodded. “That's what Cadance told me, and I don't see why she would lie about it when she’s trying to get me on board. So now I'm asking to stay with you for a while because I’ve been arguing with nearly everyone else I know and love, and now I'm keeping secrets by proxy. It's like my whole world is getting overturned on me, and I don't know how to fix any of this.”
Sunset bit her lip. “That’s pretty rough.” She drew me into a hug and I hugged her close. At least I could depend on Sunset to stand by me. “I'll do what I can to help you figure it out.”
I nuzzled her. “I could certainly use the help.”
She nuzzled me back. “Anytime.”
“You're the best.”
Sunset ran a hoof through her mane, looking slightly embarrassed. “Just trying to do the right thing.”
“Any idea what my first step should be?” I asked. Getting a second opinion on this might be exactly what I needed.
Sunset tapped her chin in thought before shrugging her shoulders helplessly.
I sighed. “I figured as much.”
“Sorry,” Sunset apologized. “I just ... finding out so much of your family are traitors is huge.”
“They're not traitors!” I snapped, the words whipping out of my mouth before I could stop them.
Sunset blinked and leaned back. “Right, right, sorry.”
I sat back as well. I really was a mess if my temper was that out of control. “Sorry. My nerves are a bit shot right now. The last good night's sleep I had was ... I don't remember.”
“It's okay.” She took my hoof and gave it a reassuring squeeze.
“Thanks,” I said, feeling relieved. “I have no idea what to do next.”
“Maybe you just need a few days to clear your head?”
“Maybe.” It was at least the start of a plan, even if it didn't go beyond step two yet. But that was better than anything else I had at the moment. Getting into arguments and making myself sick with worry certainly wasn't working.
“Stay as long as you want, okay?” She patted my hoof. “We can pick this up again once you've had some time to relax.”
“That sound like a pretty good idea.” I looked around Sunset’s apartment and immediately noticed an issue. While it wasn't spartan, the apartment was clearly a small bachelorette pad, mainly intended for a single student. The amount of guest room was pretty negligible.
“Oh. Right. Um...” She picked up on the problem as well, and pressed her lips together in thought. “Well I have a couch and some spare blankets and pillows. That should work for now.”
I nodded in agreement. “Right, I can sleep on your couch for a couple of nights. That should be alright.” It wasn't really a good long term solution, but it would serve for now.
“Or I could take the couch,” Sunset suggested.
I shook my head. “Oh no, I couldn't ask you to sleep on the couch of your own home.”
“I don't mind,” she assured me. “It's pretty comfortable, and you look like you could use a good bed.”
She did have a point there. I was pretty badly strung by this point and in need of a good night’s rest to pull myself together. Still, I'd feel bad about exiling Sunset from her own bed. “You need sleep too, and by the sounds of it, I might be here for a while.”
Sunset rubbed her chin. “We can trade off, then.”
“Maybe.” I mulled over the idea when an idea struck me—one that immediately made my cheeks flush. Still, it was a potential solution that was at least worth exploring. “Um, how big is your bed, by the way?”
“Full size,” Sunset said, not catching on to where I was going with this yet.
I had to fight down my reflex to drop the embarrassing proposal, and went ahead with my suggestion. “We could, um, if you want to, that is, we could ... share your bed.”
Sunset’s eyes widened slightly and her face flushed. “Er... I ... suppose it does have sufficient room for two fully grown mares.”
“Right. I mean there's nothing wrong with us just sharing a bed,” I said as much to assure myself as Sunset. “We've been dating how long now?”
Sunset nodded in agreement, much to my relief. Part of me had worried that I might get my rear kicked out for the somewhat scandalous suggestion. “From what I've read and seen in film, it's not unusual for couples who've been together as long as we have to cohabitate and share a bed. So it wouldn't be considered inappropriate.”
That all sounded perfectly logical to me. “And we're two responsible adults, right?”
“Yes. Yes we are.” Sunset had tried to make her words sound confident, but I couldn't help but notice a trace of uncertainty in her tone.
“So there aren't any problems with us sharing a bed,” I reasoned. “Especially when it would help make sure we're both sleeping well tonight. “
Sunset squirmed slightly on the couch. “Everything you've said is true according to all accepted social norms.”
“Right, so let’s go ahead and use the same bed,” I said, not feeling nearly as sure as I was trying to make myself sound. Still, I gave her the best smile I could manage. “Not like we're having sex or anything crazy like that, right?”
Sunset’s face grew even redder. “Um, I suppose that is true, yes. Not that I would ... uh ... that is to say that ... er...”
Oh no, what did my mouth get me into this time? I said the first thing I thought of to salvage the situation. “Not that I don't find you physically and emotionally attractive! Because I do, and because you are.”
“Uh, yeah, likewise.” She didn't look directly at me when she said that, but I could only guess why she didn't. “I certainly find you attractive enough to desire. It's just a matter of ... er...”
“Er, what?” I asked, curious.
“You know.” She waved her hoof vaguely.
“Neither of us have actually done that before?” I hazarded.
Sunset wrung her hooves together while not looking at me. “Uh ... well ... I haven't.”
“Neither have I,” I admitted, shuffling uncomfortably. “I hadn't even kissed anypony before you.”
“I was never really into that kind of thing either.”
“Right, before I hooked up with you, anyways.” I groaned and rubbed at my face. I was going to die of embarrassment at this rate. “I mean, the two of us do seem to be compatible. We get along, find each other attractive, and have a number of similar hobbies. Those are all good signs.”
Sunset nodded. “Yeah, I don't see any reason we couldn't do such things if we wanted to and felt emotionally prepared to do so.”
“Exactly. So, um, we certainly could, if we decided too.” I gave her a smile that felt terribly strained at the edges and my cheeks burned.
Sunset blushed equally as brightly. “Yeah, we could.”
“W-would you like to?” I croaked out.
“I ... I wouldn't dislike it,” she managed to force out.
“I think I-I would like it.”
“I think I would too,” Sunset said. “I mean, I haven't actually actually done it, but I'd imagine I would like it. I mean, I've heard it's enjoyable.”
“That's what my books have said.” I continued, trying to keep an awkward silence from filling the void. “And I haven't heard of anypony saying they didn't like it. I mean it is supposed to be one of the perks of a successful relationship, right? I mean, if nothing else we could ... cuddle, if we’d both be comfortable with that.”
Sunset fidgeted, her eyes flicking between the bedroom and me. “Cuddling doesn’t sound too bad.” She offered me a hoof.
I tentatively took it, my smile feeling like it was going to strain my face into a permanent grin by this point. “We could go to your bed, and see where it goes.”
Sunset squeezed my hoof. “Yes. Yes we could.”
Deciding to go for it, I pecked her on the lips. “So shall we?”
She pecked me back. “Yeah, we shall.”
The two of us went to Sunset’s bedroom to get some badly needed sleep—with the option of some other pleasurable activities to go with that sleep.
A week later I was in the Empress’ vault studying the Elements of Harmony. I still hadn't figured out what I was going to do concerning my family and the Circle. That was a knot that was beyond me at the moment, so instead, I decided to concentrate on something that at least had some basis in science of the tricky world of interpersonal relationships, spies, and lies.
I had hooked up the Element of Loyalty to an arcane-magic scanning device I had dragged down with me. Wires ran from the solid stone orb to my scanner, and the machine hummed with power as it scanned. The results were less than satisfactory. I let out a frustrated groan when I realized I wasn't getting anywhere and turned the scanner off.
I heard a soft sigh behind me. “Any luck?”
I sighed and shook my head. Turning around, I saw Fluttershy lying in a couch, impassively staring at her own Element and making about as much progress as myself from the looks of it. “No. I can tell there's some sort of magic in these things, but it's so inert that I can't get a proper reading of them. I don't even have a clue what they might react to”
Fluttershy stood up from the couch and placed a hoof on my shoulder. “We still have six months, I'm sure we'll figure it out.”
“I hope so. Otherwise we're going to be in a lot of trouble.” I ran my hoof down my face. Whether I wanted to admit it or not, I wasn't making any progress on this project. Which was really bad considering what consequences were going to be for failure. If we didn't succeed in using the Elements, then the most likely result was a god-tier throwdown between Nightmare Moon and my grandmother. Unless the Empress had some sort of backup plan to pull out first, which was a possibility. She had been planning for this for the better part of a millennium, after all.
That still left the rather unpleasant thought that the Empress was likely to kill Luna unless the Elements worked.
“I'm sure we'll find a way.” Fluttershy sighed softly. “Maybe I would be making more progress if I wasn't so...”
“Something on your mind?” I asked. Given how much I had been focusing on my own problems as of late, it would probably feel refreshing to deal with somepony else’s problems.
“It's one of my friends, Cloud Solaris.” Fluttershy bit her lower lip. “She's missing.”
I frowned, the name sounding familiar. “Missing? Have you told the Guard?”
“Of course.” Fluttershy’s lip quivered slightly as she continued. “She’s in the Guard, after all. So far, all I've heard is that her ex is a pony of interest in the investigation.”
That’s when I recalled where I had heard the name before. Wasn't Cloud the name of the Guardpony that mom saw the previous week before we got into our last argument? I tried not to grimace as I remembered how I had driven her off. That had probably not been the correct way to deal with that situation.
Fluttershy was starting to stare at me, so I pushed the memories aside to try and deal with the current problem. “Okay, how about you start from the beginning?”
“About a week ago we were all at the theater, and Cloud saw her ex-fillyfriend, Starlight Glimmer,” Fluttershy explained. “Cloud said something about wanting to talk to her. She was afraid Starlight might be in some kind of trouble. After that ... all I know is they found some of her blood on the street near her house. I'm really worried. She wouldn't be gone this long unless something was wrong. She’s not the type of pony to go AWOL, especially for an old flame.”
That all certainly sounded bad. I wasn't familiar with Starlight Glimmer, so I slotted away her name in my memory. “And the Guard hasn't told you anything?”
Fluttershy shook her head. “Nothing beyond Starlight being a pony of interest and that the investigation is ongoing.”
I rubbed my chin thoughtfully. “And you said that your friend's name was Cloud Solaris? And that she was in the Guard?”
“That's right. She's a major in the Phoenix Guard.”
“Could you describe her for me?” It struck me as a good idea to confirm that this was the same Cloud Solaris as the one I met at Sparkle Manor. No sense jumping to crazy conclusions without making sure I had my facts straight.
She nodded. “Alright. Um, lavender coat, yellow mane, pegasus, a bit on the tall and well-built side, but not huge or anything.”
“I see...” I turned away from Fluttershy, I didn't want her to see my face at that moment. That sounded exactly like the pony meeting with Mom. I didn't have any real proof at the moment, but my gut told me that all of this wasn't a coincidence. Though the question now was how were Cloud, Starlight, Mom, and Cloud’s disappearance related.
Fluttershy tilted her head to the side. “What is it?”
I shook my head to keep myself from falling too deep in my thoughts. “I'm just thinking about a few things. Exactly how many days has she been missing?”
“Eight days.”
That lined up with how long ago it was since my last argument with Mom, but now I found myself wondering what I should do next. There were a few things I could try to figure out what really happened. “Maybe I could look into it,” I said hesitantly.
Fluttershy’s face brightened up. “Really? That would mean a lot to me. Maybe some of your spells could help?”
“I can't promise anything,” I quickly said. “I mean, I've never done anything like this before, and...” To be honest, if I kept right on going, I may very well have talked myself out of helping find Cloud, but then I saw the desperation in Fluttershy’s eyes. Eyes that, possibly futilely, hoped that her friend could be found. Found by me. I couldn't bring myself to say no to eyes like those. I sighed. “I’ll see what I can do.”
Fluttershy’s mouth spread into a gracious smile. “Thank you.”
I hoped I was making the right decision.
Feeling slightly out of my depth by offering my help to Fluttershy, and not having a long list of ponies to go to for assistance, I decided to seek Sunset’s help. Return to her apartment—our apartment? I wasn't sure where the status that stood at the moment, considering I wasn't exactly in a rush to return home quite yet.
In any event, I walked into the apartment and found Sunset reading a book on the couch. “Hey, Sunset.” Feeling like it was probably the fillyfriend thing to do, I gave her a nuzzle.
Sunset returned my nuzzle. “Hey.”
I sat on a cushion opposite of her. “Could I talk with you about something? It’s kinda serious.”
Sunset closed her book and placed it to the side to give me her full attention. “Of course.”
Deciding there wasn't any sense in beating around the bush, I dived right into the issue that had brought me here. “You see, I offered to help Fluttershy with a problem of hers. One of her friends in the Phoenix Guard went missing last week. From what Fluttershy told me, Cloud ran into her ex last week, and after chasing after her… well, she disappeared. So far they’ve only found a little of her blood.”
Sunset leaned back into the couch and rubbed her chin. “That’s something alright.”
“And it actually gets weirder from there.” I grimaced despite myself, not enjoying the next part. What I was about to tell her might be considered a breach of trust, or even set some unpleasant events into motion, but if I was going to get Sunset’s help in this then she was going to need to know everything I could tell her. “Cloud was at the manor the night she disappeared, meeting with my mom.”
Sunset blinked. “Wait, what?”
“I think it was Circle business.” I explained. “Though I can't really confirm that at the moment. It just struck me as ... more than coincidence. I don't have any proof of that, but I just have a feeling there’s more going on here than what we know at the moment.”
“Agreed.” Sunset frowned. “Yeah if she was mixed up in the Circle and just mysteriously vanished...” After a moment she added, “I suppose you still don't want to go to the Empress about it?”
I frowned as I considered that option. It was a potential solution to the problem. If she was inclined to help, the Empress could bring a lot of resources to bear to figure out what happened. And that was assuming she didn't already know what had happened to Cloud or had investigators on the case. At least besides the ones Fluttershy had talked to. Of course, if I did bring what I knew to Grandmother, then that could set a lot of unfortunate events into motion. Events I would have no idea how to manage, that could get a lot of ponies I did and didn't know arrested, and who knew what else.
“No.” I shook my head. “Not yet, anyways. Frankly, we don't know what's going on here. All we know was that Cloud was visiting my mom the same night she disappeared, with some of her blood found near her home. It’s suspicious, but it’s only a start to figuring out what happened.”
Sunset crossed her legs over her chest. “So what, you want us to do our own investigation?”
“I guess?” I sighed and covered my face with my hooves. “I told Fluttershy I would look into this. Though I don't know why I did that. It's not like I'm an investigator or anything like that.”
“Me neither,” Sunset said. “But I suppose we do at least know something the Guard doesn't. And if we can't report it to them...”
“Right.” It looked like I was stuck. Either I fulfilled my promise to Fluttershy and did everything I reasonably could to find out what happened to Cloud or I was going to give up without even really trying. I had been taught a number of things but being a quitter wasn't one of them. Even if that sometimes lead me to some uncomfortable situations. While I didn’t like it, there seemed to be one clear path for me to follow at this juncture.
I took a deep breath as I decided my course. “I think I need to have a talk with my mom.”
I stood outside staring at Sparkle Manor for a long time, unable to force myself to go inside. I kept telling myself that I needed to mare up and get moving, but that was easier said than done. It wasn't hard for me to imagine what waited for me in the manor: the place that had been my home for most of my life and I didn't look forward to it.
But I had come here to do a job, and I wasn't going to get it done standing around. A pony’s life was quite likely in danger, assuming it wasn't already too late. Either way, I wasn't helping matters by standing around doing nothing. I let out a long breath, drew myself up, and opened the door.
It didn't take long for me to find the pony I sought. Mom was scribbling away with her quill in her office. She didn't seem to notice me as I approached, engrossed in whatever she was writing. That being the case, I knocked on the office doorframe to catch her attention. “Mom?”
Her body immediately tensed, and there was a forced calm in her voice as she spoke without turning. “Hello dear.”
Well wasn't this a perfect start? Already the air felt thick enough to be considered a solid. “So ... how have you been?”
“Fine.” Mom finally turned to face me. “And you?”
“I'm getting along,” I said through gritted teeth. “Though there's something important I wanted to talk to you about.”
“Very well then,” Mom’s eyes narrowed. “I'm listening.”
Jumping right to business might not have been the best way to approach the conversation now that I thought about it. Not after I hadn't seen her for a week. Still, I'd come too far to stop yet. I cast a privacy spell to keep anypony from listening in on us. “It’s about Cloud Solaris.” Mom’s face went carefully blank mention of her fellow Circle member. “I know that she went missing last week—on the same night you met with her. Near as I know, nopony has seen her since, beyond a few specks of blood was found near her home. Some mare named Starlight is a pony of interest in the disappearance.”
Mom revealed nothing, her face a careful mask of neutrality. “And how exactly would you know all of that?”
I sighed and turned my eyes away from Mom. I could sense that she was mad at me, and she had good reason to be. After what some of the things I had said to her... I wondered if it was going to take a miracle for me to get anything useful out of her. “Dame Fluttershy of the Order of Sol Invictus asked me if I could find her. She's one of Cloud's friends, and she's really worried about what happened to her.”
“I see.”
I flinched at the utter lack of recognition in her answer. I couldn't remember a time when Mom had spoken so coldly to me. She was normally so warm and inviting. Now? Now I wondered if I had done irreparable damage to our relationship.
“Look, it's not hard to figure out that Cloud’s visit and disappearance are related somehow,” I said, trying to overcome the wall of frigid hostility I was getting from Mom. “Not when she was meeting with you during the middle of the night.”
“And who have you told about this?” Mom demanded.
“Sunset.” I knew Mom wasn't going to like hearing that, but I decided I wasn’t going to get very far if I just lied to her. The thing with a secret organization is that it kinda needs to be secret to remain effective, and here I had gone and told my fillyfriend everything about the Circle. If she went ahead and decided to tell the Empress in turn...
Mom’s narrowed. “And who has she told?”
“No one,” I said, perhaps a bit too quickly. “I asked her not to.”
“Is that so?”
I winced at the accusation in her tone. “I ... don't want you to get arrested or anything like that. You're my mom.”
Something flashed over Mom’s features that I couldn’t put my hoof on. She took a deep breath and I could see her dropping her mask, if ever so slightly. “Thank you.”
Some of the ache that I had been feeling in my heart dissipated at the change in Mom's tone. “I don't like fighting with you, you know.”
“Neither do I,” Mom said quietly.
I pulled my head up to look at her. “It's just hard to have everything changed on you like this. The secrets, the lies, the everything.”
Mom’s shoulder drooped. “I never wanted to hurt you either.”
“It still did.”
I instantly regretted saying that, as Mom suddenly looked very old and tired. She had always had a certain vitality and energy to her, but now... “I know. In truth, what I wanted was to spare you of everything. I knew all of this would be hard on you. It was hard on me when I first found out. You were just so happy being the Empress’ student and ... I didn't want to take any of that happiness away from you.”
My eyes fell back to the floor. “All I want to do is the right thing, but that's so hard to figure out these days. It's looking like my family are lining up on different sides of a battlefield and I'm being asked to pick sides. What are you supposed to do in a situation like that?”
“We're not battling against each other, you know.”
I gave Mom a level look. “You think our grandmother feels that way about it?”
It was a long moment before she answered. “I don't think we're her enemies, and I hope she feels the same.”
That was a very diplomatic answer. “You can't be blind to how she feels about threats. You learned from her too.”
“We aren't a threat to her,” Mom tried to assure me. “We're helping her.”
I clenched my teeth as I felt my anger resurface. “She's not going to see it that way when you try and put Luna on the throne!”
Mom blinked. “Put Luna on the throne? Is that what you think we want to do?”
I quirked an eyebrow. This hadn't been the reaction I had expected. “That's what Argentium told me.”
A slight frown worked its way into her features. “Ah.”
“‘Ah’?” A realization dawned on me. “You're not all on the same page, are you? Within the Circle, that is?”
Mom took a deep breath, and I could hear an annoyed grumble in her words. “Every group has a few differences of opinion.”
“This is a pretty big one,” I said, pointing out the obvious. “Argentium wants to give the Moon Mantle to Luna after—” I bit down on my tongue before I accidently said anything about the Elements. “She comes back.”
“I've heard she and the head of the organization favor that,” Mom admitted with obvious reluctance. “To be honest, Siren—Cadance and I favor a different course.”
“And that is?” I still wasn't happy about the fact that Mom was in a big conspiracy like this, but that still couldn't suppress my natural curiosity about the Circle and its workings.
“Working within the existing Empire as it is and pushing reform policies,” Mom explained. “Putting Luna on the throne is not something I can imagine the populace ever supporting.”
“Considering she wants to inflict an eternal night on the planet? I think everypony would kinda object to the slow cold death of the planet.
Mom shook her head. “Only on account of her madness, or that is what our leader and Argentium believe.”
“Right, that.” I had to wonder who this leader was, but I had a good feeling Mom would deflect any questions about her identity. Better to focus on questions she was likely to answer for now.
Mom stared at me for a long moment, and I got the sense she was thinking very hard about something before she finally spoke. “How determined are you to look into the matter of Cloud Solaris?”
I was slightly surprised by the change in topic, but part of me was happy to get back what had brought me here. “Considering I've already talked it over with Sunset, made a promise to Fluttershy to look into this, and I've already come this far with you, pretty determined.”
Mom sighed and rubbed her nose. “Starlight is a member of the Circle as well. Or rather, a former member. Much like myself and Argentium, we had our ideological differences.”
Now we were getting to something I could actually use. That being the case, I decided learning more about Starlight was a good idea. “And what does Starlight believe in?”
“That we can't work within the existing system.” Mom shook her head to herself. “It's why she's a former member now—she’s gotten it into her head that the only way we’re going to change things is through revolution. She’s always had strong beliefs like that, and revolution was something the Circle never believed in.”
“Did she get kicked out or just leave?” I tried to get an idea of a mare I might be dealing with in the near future.
“We asked her to leave.”
At least I was getting good information now and putting the pieces of the puzzle together. “And what has she been up to since then?”
“Gathering a few like-minded individuals in Manehattan,” Mom said. “As far as we can tell, she came back to Canterlot either to expand her group or as damage control because some extremists with potential ties to her were purged by the Empress' forces.”
I suppressed a grimace. There had been that story in the news where a group of dissidents had been eliminated a while ago, though the details about that had been limited. Was Starlight involved with that somehow? “And let me guess: that's what Cloud wanted to talk to you about?”
Mom nodded, but a frown found its way to her lips. “The two of them had ... personal history.”
Another piece to the puzzle. “The good or bad type of history?”
“The complicated type,” Mom answered. “They dated for a while, and Cloud was the one who introduced her to the Circle. The relationship fell apart around the same time Starlight was asked to leave.”
“Ah.” I mulled over the facts presented to me. “Think they might have seen each other the night Cloud disappeared?”
“Cloud did intend to find her.” Mom rubbed at her temple. “After she left the manor, nopony we could find has seen her since.”
What had just been revealed to me certainly painted a picture and gave me a couple potential explanations for what might have happened to Cloud. The first explanation was that Cloud had simply joined with Starlight after they had met. They had been an item in the past, and the heart causes ponies to do crazy things. Though that didn't seem quite right to me; according to Fluttershy, Cloud was an inherently reliable pony, which flew in the face of that entire hypothesis. Especially when she hadn't even told her parents she was leaving. It was still a possibility that she had dropped everything to become a revolutionary, but a very, very remote one.
The other big possibility was that Starlight had done something to Cloud if she managed to catch up with her. The investigators had Cloud’s blood near her home after all.
“How dangerous is Starlight?” It struck me as a good idea to know exactly who we were dealing with here.
“She was going through magus training, and only failed due to being too outspoken and disruptive when it came to politics.”
“Sounds like she's a true believer,” I commented. “Do you have any idea where she is now? Or Cloud, for that matter?”
“Not for certain, but we've sent an agent to Manehattan.” Mom shrugged. “It was where Starlight set up shop after she left us. We’ve been too busy with other things to keep track of her. Honestly, we were hoping that she would rejoin us after taking some time to cool down and see the world. That type of thing has happened in the past.”
“Great, that’s only one of the biggest cities in the Empire,” I grumbled and ran my hood down my face. “How hard can it be to find a pair of mares?”
Mom nodded sympathetically. “That's been our problem. It can be very hard to find somepony in a city who doesn't want to be found.”
“And I'm going to guess you've already tried some scrying or divination spells?” Might as well cover the basics while I was here.
“Of course. Starlight has her defenses up.” It wasn't hard to note the frustration in Mom’s tone. “Otherwise, the only question would be whether we'd beat the EIS to her.”
“It figures that it wouldn't be that easy.” Tapping my hooves together, I considered the problem from another angle. “If I were her, I'd have defenses up against all the regular magical means to find somepony.”
Mom nodded in agreement. “She is, for all intents and purposes, a magus. She knows all the tricks of the trade.”
“So, I have to find her or Cloud. At least one of whom doesn't want to be found, and has magical means to make sure she isn't found,” I grumbled. “Oh, and Starlight is part of her own organization of political radicals in one of the most populous cities in the Empire. Is there any other bad news I should know about, or does that cover everything for the doom and gloom report?”
Mom grinned wryly. She had probably been working with these frustrations longer than I had. “The Empress will likely object to you running off to Manehattan.”
The mention of the Empress made me pause for a moment. Mom had a point there. “If she knows about it, yes.”
A dry smile showed on Mom’s lips. “Twilight, do you really think she doesn't have you watched?”
I felt myself deflate. That was a rather large hurdle for me to overcome if I was going to help Fluttershy. “She most likely does, and I’m going to guess saying she hasn't told me not to go to Manehattan isn't going to cut it?”
“She's taught you for years,” Mom replied dryly. “How do you think she'd react to that?”
“She's not very keen when ponies go against her intentions,” I admitted.
“Just so.” She leaned back against her desk, looking old and tired again. “It's up to you, dear. You obviously won't let me tell you what to do.”
I winced at the well-played guilt trip. I was justified with a lot of the issues I had with her, but that didn't mean I liked rift between us. “Mom...” I extended a hoof towards her but stopped short.
For her part, Mom stared at my hoof, her own twitching on the desk. “Will you be coming home soon?”
I shuffled in place. This was one of those questions I had really hoped I could avoid. “I'm not sure what I'm doing right now. I was just wanting some time to think things through, get my thoughts together—and then this came up, and Sunset's been really nice, but her place isn't that big for two ponies, but I didn't want to come back here and get into another big argument with you or Dad, but all my stuff is here, so it makes it really awkward when I keep having to buy stuff I already own like toothbrushes, otherwise I end up using Sunset's stuff, which still feels really weird, aaaand I'm rambling, aren't I?”
Mom chuckled softly. “A little bit.” The slight smile on her lips died as quickly as it had been born. “At least pack a proper bag?”
I rubbed at my leg, feeling extremely uncomfortable. “For Manehattan, or for Sunset's?”
Something briefly flashed over Mom’s face. “Both.”
“Right.” I couldn’t exactly disagree with that idea after everything that had happened between us. I just needed a few more ... what? Days? Weeks? Months to figure things out? One thing at a time. Figuring out what happened to Cloud was my first priority at the moment. “That makes sense. I'll make sure to do that.”
Mom nodded. “Good. Remember your manebrush.”
I smiled sadly. “I'll make sure not to forget it.”
“And a couple nice dresses,” Mom added.
“Um, right, for formal occasions,” I agreed.
Mom studied me before saying, “And I do hope you and Sunset are at least being ... safe.”
Okay, how to address that in the fastest and most non-detailed way possible? “Um, yes, we are.”
Mom nodded again, though the strain in her face hadn’t dissipated. “Good.”
Feeling now was as good of a time as any to say something I had been meaning to, I added, “And, um, I'm sorry, Mom. For everything.”
Mom sighed and drew me into a hug. “So am I, dear. So am I.”
I hugged her back, wondering if things between us could ever be like they were before.
“... and that's everything I found out,” I finished telling Sunset.
The both of us were back in the Empress’ vault. Thankfully there wasn’t anypony else there, which gave us plenty of privacy to talk. I hadn’t even seen Lyra for weeks now. Whatever was keeping her busy was keeping her from watching all of us. The fact that all the Element Bearers weren’t here to study the Elements was probably testament to the progress we were making at the moment. I didn’t know what made me feel worse: how little progress we’d made with the Elements, or whether that time would have been better spent looking for Cloud Solaris.
Sunset pressed her lips together thoughtfully. “I guess it shouldn't be a shock the Circle has its own factions.”
“I guess not.” I rubbed the back of my neck. “Kinda makes me feel a bit bad about yelling at my parents partially over some misconceptions. And I still get the impression I don’t know a tenth about everything there is to know about the Circle.”
Sunset shook her head. “No way you could've known. It's not like they told you about all this before.”
I scowled at that little reminder. “That's kinda one of my core issues, yeah. That problem hasn’t gone away.”
“I think you weren't wrong to be mad.” Sunset huffed as she plopped down on a couch. “Anyway, we still going after Cloud Solaris?”
My gaze fell to the floor as I thought the proposition over. “I'd like to because ... if I'm going to be honest, I feel guilty.”
One of Sunset’s eyebrows rose. “Guilty?”
I began pacing as I tried to put my feelings into words. “I ran her out of the manor the night she disappeared. She was in the middle of a conversation with Mom when I came across them, and I didn't react well. I can't help but wonder if I'm partially responsible for what ended up happening to her. If I hadn't been so angry, then Mom might have asked me to help Cloud.” I shrugged helplessly. “Or maybe Mom would have gone with her and kept Cloud from disappearing instead of going into another round of arguments with me, or maybe have arranged somepony else to go with Cloud. I mean, Cloud was Starlight's fillyfriend. Which means she could have made a bad mistake while dealing with some political radical she didn't really know anymore.”
Sunset stood back up to lead me to the couch. “Hey, you can't blame yourself for that. You're just speculating on what could've happened now that you have perfect hindsight. There's no way you could've realized what was going on.”
“Maybe.” I rubbed at my face, feeling very worn down all of a sudden as I sat with her. “But I might have had a better understanding of what was going on if I listened instead of just yelling at them.”
Sunset wrapped a leg around my shoulders. “Remember what I said about hindsight?”
I sighed and nodded.
“Nopony's perfect, Twilight.” Sunset nuzzled me. “Not even the Empress.”
Not able to argue with that, I decided to move onto something more productive than self-recrimination. “How about we figure out our next move then?”
“Finding Starlight, right?”
“Her or Cloud,” I answered. “Cloud would technically be better, since she’s the one Fluttershy wants to see again. Catching the crazy radical pony isn’t exactly our mission here.”
“Whichever one we can find,” Sunset agreed. “It seems our best guess is they're at the same place.”
I crossed my hooves over my chest, feeling better about working on a problem that I could actually come to grips with rather than messy emotional issues. “The problem is that Starlight's magically protected herself against scrying, and magic is our best bet.”
Sunset grinned savagely. “Yeah, but we're better than her.”
Despite myself, I grinned back. “I would hope so, with the amount of bits that's been put into our educations.” I stood up again to start pacing around again. “So, she has magus training, but didn't graduate. Let us assume she knows all the basic anti-scrying tricks. Otherwise the Ministry would have found her by now.”
Sunset nodded in agreement. “Obviously. They'll have full magi on staff.”
I rubbed my chin. “So how do we beat the most commonly used and effective anti-scrying methods available?”
“Nonmagical tracking methods,” Sunset replied. “Ponies worry so much about magic they forget about more mundane options. Of course, the Ministry would have those too.”
“Right, and apparently they haven't caught her yet with those methods either.” That was one of the big problems we were facing: we didn’t have near the resources available to the Ministry of Hearts, and they hadn’t caught Starlight yet either. It didn’t fill a pony with confidence.
“So ... we have to try something that's not in the book,” Sunset grumbled.
“Either something she isn't ready to counter or hasn't been tried by anypony yet.” I was deep in thought when my eyes fell on one of the doorways in the vault. Specifically, the one that had a large portrait of Midnight Sparkle besides it and led to where the Empress kept all of her daughter’s possessions. An idea struck me. “What if we tried something that hasn't been done in centuries?”
Sunset frowned ponderously as her gaze followed mine. “A spell so old nobody thinks to defend against it? That could work”
“What I was thinking.” I pointed to the Hall of Midnight. “Didn't the Empress use her daughter to hunt down a bunch of people when she was alive? You know, warlocks, rebels, foreign leaders, the works? At least according to the history books, she always succeeded in catching whoever she was looking for.”
Sunset stood up from the couch to approach the doorway. “She was pretty good at it from what I’ve read, yeah. That’s why the Empress depended on her so much early in her rule.”
“So it stands to reason that she probably had a bunch of spells to find people,” I concluded. “A lot of those she hunted would have had counters to tracking magic.”
Sunset nodded. “Well, they developed counters for her tricks, but then she just came up with new tricks. It's been 800 years since she’s been able to flesh out her repertoire, though.”
“That is one of the issues with magic,” I agreed. “One counter leads to another counter, on and on forever. Buuut we know all the culmination of all that back and forth and where magical theory now sits.”
“Yeah, we can go through her whole big list of tricks and see if there are any that are so old and outdated that Starlight didn't think to counter them.” A smile spread across her lips.
“That's what I'm thinking.” I stepped next to her in front of the door, and a problem occurred to me. “Of course, we were told not to go back there.”
Sunset’s smile vanished. “That's true.”
“Buuut there should be a goldmine of material back there,” I continued. “Stuff nopony has looked through in centuries other than the Empress. And it's not like we want to damage anything. We're responsible adults.”
“Yeah, but if the Empress finds out we went into Midnight's things...” She let that hang in the air. The possibilities were not pleasant. Not at all.
“True, but this doesn’t seem like something she really needs to be bothered with,” I tried to reason. I didn’t know for certain, but I had a good feeling that exactly what we needed lay with my ancestor’s things. If only we could get into the room. “It's not like we're asking to shift through the Sealed Repository. They're just things my distant ancestor owned centuries ago.”
Sunset nodded in agreement. “Nothing wrong with what we're doing.”
“Right. We have nothing but the best intentions.” With it being established that it was perfectly fine for us to look through Midnight’s things, the only thing to do was enter the forbidden reaches of the vault and risk the Empress’ wrath for disobeying her directions.
Neither of us moved forward.
“Think she'll buy that?” Sunset asked, sounding very, very uncertain about the prospect.
I sighed. “Not in a million years. Maybe we should just bank on not getting caught?”
Sunset frowned, not looking the least bit convinced. “You think we can actually pull that off?”
I stared long and hard at the open doorway, its darkness beckoning. “Maybe we should check if there are any magical defenses in place first?”
Sunset rolled her eyes. “Sure, that won't end badly. You know how many magical defenses can be set off just by trying to scan them?”
Admittedly, I wasn’t overly eager to get burned to a crisp by setting off a dozen wards by the most magically skilled pony in the world. “Do you have a better suggestion? Chances are this is a time-critical situation.”
Sunset’s brow furrowed in thought. “Maybe try asking the Empress for permission to see the books?”
“Think that would work?”
Sunset shrugged. “If we gave her a good reason, maybe.”
“What reason could be give her?” I asked. “Maybe that we're just really curious about her daughter? If we're being honest, we are a couple of bookworms. We could give it a shot at least.”
“Sounds a lot safer than going behind her back,” Sunset said, sounding more than a little bit relieved.
“Let's go see her and see if we can work this out.”
A little while later, we were allowed into the Empress’ office. She seemed to be in the middle of a snack, with a small bowl of soup before her.
“Empress?” I called out from the doorway. “Can we have a few minutes?”
The Empress put aside her bowl and gave us a welcoming smile. “Of course, my children. What is it?”
Sunset stepped forward first. “We ... wanted to ask you for something.”
“Right.” I stood next to my fillyfriend. “We were, um, curious about the room where you keep all of Midnight's things.” A very strained smile spread across my lips.
The Empress raised an eyebrow. “And why would that be?”
My smile became all the more brittle. “We're really curious about it. We've been studying in your vault for months now, and we've never been allowed to go into that room.”
“My daughter's personal effects are inside that room,” the Empress said neutrally.
I nodded. “We figured that much, but we were wondering if we could go in there and look around?”
I could feel it as the Empress’ concentration bore down on me. It made me feel like a mouse under the gaze of a hungry cat. “Just to satisfy your curiosity?”
Now we were entering dangerous waters. We needed to get into Midnight’s section in the vault, but without getting shut down by the Empress. For whatever reason, she didn’t seem keen on the idea of even her students seeing her daughter’s possessions. “We are kinda a couple of bookworms like that. Remember how much we like to visit museums?”
The Empress frowned slightly and a reproachful tone entered her voice. “This isn't a museum. It's where my daughter's personal possessions are.”
My ears wilted and I grimaced. This wasn’t off to a good start. “Sorry. I know Midnight’s things must be important to you. It’s just that I wanted to learn a bit more about my ancestor.” I widened my eyes with the best sad-puppy dog look I could manage.
The Empress’ eyes narrowed. “Twilight, I know when I’m being manipulated. You are not the first pony to try that look on me.” The Empress studied me for a long moment, making me feel very guilty before she sighed and stood up. “Though I suppose there isn’t any harm in it. Lucky for you, I have a soft spot for my grandchildren. Very well then, I'll lead you there.”
My ears perked. “Really?”
My grandmother nodded. “Of course, my children. Now follow me.” My heart felt much lighter as she lead the way back the vault. This was a huge step in the right direction for finding Cloud.
Soon we were before the entrance to Midnight’s things. “A moment, my children.” Her horn lit up as she started unlocking several potent protection spells.
Sunset leaned closer to me to murmur, “Good thing we didn't try to sneak in.”
“No kidding,” I murmured back. “That could have ended badly.” Whatever was in this section of the vault, the Empress really wanted to protect it. Most bank vault and sensitive military installations were less protectively warded than this doorway was, and that was on top of all the formidable defense measures she had placed over the vault itself. It was difficult to even tell just how many of the wards there were and how they were all interlinked. It likely wouldn't have turned out well for me or Sunset if we had tried to disarm them ourselves.
After a few minutes the Empress finished disarming all her wards. “There, now it’s safe to enter.”
The three of us walked through the doorway and I stared wide-eyed at what was within. Instead of just one room like I expected, I found myself in a set of very large chambers that more closely resembled living quarters than a vault. All around us were Midnight’s personal possessions: furniture, bookcases filled with tomes, arms and armor, old clothes, oh, and lots and lots of skulls—many of them covered with faded pink paint. It all gave me the sense that I accidently stepped into the storage basement of some evil overlord. Without trying, I could sense the preservation magic that kept everything from degrading. It was almost like I had entered a time bubble to the first century.
Sunset whistled. “Wow, this is ... extensive.”
“I had no idea there was so much in here,” I agreed.
Sunset’s attention fell on what looked like shelf covered by old enchanting tools and materials. “Yeah, it looks like she could move in tomorrow.”
That got Sunset a sharp look from the Empress, and Sunset smiled sheepishly in reply. It seemed that her deceased daughter was still a sore topic for her even after all these centuries.
“Sorry, but this is amazing,” I said, trying to draw some of the heat off of Sunset. “It’s like a historian's dream in here.”
That at least seemed to end the Empress’ ire for Sunset. “Glad you like it.”
I turned to one of the bookshelves to see if I could find where Midnight’s books on magic were stored. Then I realized a problem: there were a lot of bookshelves covered by books. I was reasonably sure at least one of the chambers was filled by nothing but books as I glanced through its doorway. Normally, I wouldn't have considered having so many book available to me to be a problem, but we probably didn't have time to go through everything. Though the Empress was very good at hiding what she was thinking, I got a sense of slight apprehension from her as her gaze shifted back and forth between me and Sunset—like a mother trying to keep track of her children inside of a shop with many easily breakable objects. Considering how she had acted thus far concerning Midnight’s belongings, it didn't seem likely that she would let us stay here unsupervised.
The Empress smirked as she watched me ogle the books. “Anything in particular you’re looking for? It would save us both quite a bit of time if you just told me what you wanted to see.”
It did seem best to get the Empress’ help. I would be surprised if she didn’t know this whole place like the back of her hoof. “We were pretty curious about what spells she used, considering she did a lot when she was alive. Her spellbooks should be really interesting.”
“We were interested about her tracking spells, specifically,” Sunset added.
“Simple enough,” the Empress said. One of the large tomes floated off the shelf to levitate before me. “And here you are.”
“Thank you!” I grasped the book with my magic, but then found it didn’t move when I tugged on it. Momentarily confused, I looked to see that my grandmother was still holding onto it, a mischievous twinkle in her eyes.
She grinned, in no rush to let go of the spellbook. “So who are you trying to find that needs an eight-hundred-year-old book of tracking spells?”
My heart sank as I realized that we had been caught. It had been a gamble to try and get Midnight’s tracking spells, and we had just lost. My grandmother knew we were up to something, and I didn’t see a way out of admitting what we were doing. We probably should have known better than to try and pull a fast one on our teacher.
Sunset broke first and sighed. “Cloud Solaris.”
My ears wilted. No sense keeping secrets now. Maybe there was still a way to make this turn out alright if we told the truth here and now. “Right. Her. She's one of Fluttershy's friend, and she went missing a number of days ago. We were hoping to use one of the spells in this book to try and find her.”
“I'm aware of the situation.” The Empress tapped her chin thoughtfully. “So you think one of Midnight's spells could find Cloud or Starlight? Interesting. Some of her tracking spells were certainly unique. One of these spells might offer an angle of attack the Ministry hasn't tried yet.”
Sunset nodded. “That was what Twilight was thinking.”
“It at least seemed worth a try,” I said. “Better than any other idea we could come up with, anyways.”
“Alright then.” The Empress released the tome to me. “Try it. If the results seem promising, I'll have somepony help you to see this through.”
“If that's alright,” I said, still feeling slightly confused. Was she actually authorizing us to find Cloud and all that intoned? It felt like there was a lot more going on than I could see right now, but my thoughts were still whirling to absorb everything. “We'll give it our best shot and tell you whether it works.”
A proud smile showed itself on my grandmother’s face. “I would expect nothing less. Well done, my children.”