//------------------------------// // Wading Deep // Story: Roadtrip // by enamis //------------------------------// . Have you ever faced death? Me? Not really. The worst that’s ever happened to me was ramming my fingers in the car door, finding a bunch of harmless snakes in our sandbox when I was eight, falling off my bike and cutting up the side of my leg, and falling off my bike again and banging my foot up real freaking bad. I played life safe. I was terrified of getting hurt. I didn’t want to die. . I never learned how to swim. . . . . . It’s weird when you're underwater. I can't say I've had much experience with it since I hated the fucking thing. I hated the coldness. I hated how it got in every hole. I hated the hour it took for my hair to dry afterwards. I hated that I was too skinny to float. I hated it because fuck you, that’s why. . It’s the bubbles that are freaky. How they move how you do. Like its air but it doesn’t do anything. Just there. In the water. Useless. Like me. . And it’s like you're in a nothing. The absence of everything but yourself and nothingness. Because the nothingness is a somethingness. So color me surprised when there was something else there. . A shape against shapes. It was there. In the nothing. Just… being… And it reached out. And I felt starlight all around me. And I felt the warmth of the moon. And I heard the sound of the universe above. And I saw the pain radiate from its very being. And I could taste the wind and it was static and ozone and blood and color. And I saw it stare into me with the night of its eyes. And then came the pulling. And then came air. And then came sound. And then came cold. And then came pain. And then came nothingness. And then everything went kinda blurry. . . . . Did you know bats could swim? There was gif once upon a time, but it’s gone now. Just like the rest of the internet. I miss the internet. I think I've said that before. … I'm stalling. I know. Mostly because if I think too hard about all the shitwater in me I want to puke. And I don’t want to puke. It’s not very fun. Can griffons even puke? I think I might’ve, but I don’t remember. … So… um… Kaja pulled me out. Well, Kaja and Bella, from what I've been told by said saviors. . Gah, this stupid situation is a mess all around. I just don’t understand. I feel like I'm still underwater. Like I'm floating through nothingness but it’s not me this time it’s just my head. Is that what dying feels like? I don’t want to die. This is a shit way to die. If I drown at least let me drown in a storm in the sea. At least that’ll be poetic. Not this. Not drowning by the shore of a shit-filled river in fuckall nowhere. . BATS. BATHORSES CAN SWIM. Who knew? Also griffons float. Since… since apparently even if my feathers soaked up so much water and I went down like a rock I just sort of… stayed in this one spot until Kaja could dive down to me. . Oh and Carl can't swim. Just want to point that out. He’s also scared he’s so much muscle he’ll just sink. I can see the reasoning. We should… we should probably re-fit some life vests, huh… … I'm ignoring it aren’t I? The thing in the water. I want to say it was just a nightmare of a dying child but I can't. I remember how the colors tasted like. It was a familiar thing. As familiar as the rune circle. . We need to leave. It’s not… safe. Which is ironic considering everything that’s happened put into context. Feels like we’re running from the monster under the bed. Something there, on the edge of our existence, causing… this… And like kids we need to get away. And you know the worst part? I never believed in monsters. . He’s coming up the stars. Carl. Not the monster. I can tell by his dumb, stomping footsteps. He’s staring at me and he’s staring at you, lappy, and my fingers still dancing across your keys. Oh, food. That’s nice. I'm still not saying anything. Mostly because my throat’s still sore, but also because reasons. He’s asking me if I'm okay. The fuck do you think, I almost drowned of course I'm not okay. He’s telling me they're worried about me. I know Kaja is. You I'm on the fence about. He just asked why I'm not saying anything and I think he’s looking at my fingers to see what I'm spel What are you doing No stop dont close my screen dont you fucking dare snap my fingers in my own fucking laptop if you do this i wi . . . . . . . . . . “If you ever close my laptop when I haven’t saved and minimized everything again I will fucking end you.” Yeah that didn’t sound very good in a strained voice. Or maybe that just made it better, what did I know. “Aaaaand, you're alive.” He said with a twinge of sarcasm, but the worry was still evident all over him. He sighed. “So are you going to tell me if you’re feeling better?” I didn’t reply for a while, dutifully examining the pack of my favorite bacon jerky, a cola and a can of whateverthefuck. “We need to leave.” I stared up into his dark redwood eyes. “Yeah, you’ve made that pretty clear.” The deadpanness was back. “I'm serious. Now more than ever. We need to leave before weird shit hits maximum.” I croaked, turning away. “As if it hasn’t already? What with you throwing yourself overboard.” I didn’t reply. “If I didn’t know any better I might’ve thought you were trying to kill yourself which would have wonderfully stupid considering you managed to get me and Kaja off our asses, as per your violent instruction.” My knuckles had been slowly balling into fists the entire conversation, but I had only now noticed because my claws were starting to puncture tiny holes in the blanket covers. “Seriously though, get a grip, were about to set off for a months long trip with us packed like sardines in a literal sardine-tin-can. There's already plenty of crap between us from when you diced my face in half.” Hgnnn don’t do this shit to me, universe. “I get that you hate me for whatever stupid reason but you’re no saint either.” Oh fuck this. “Ya know what?!” I sat up straight I stared him right in his dumb fucking red eyes with every last bit of fury inside pouring out. “You are a piece of shit.” He recoiled. Man that felt good to say out loud. There was a pause. His brows furrowed, mouth floundering like a fish. Then a snap to senses. “Fuck you!” Huh… His anger gathered. “FUCK. YOU. YOUR DUMB ASS ALMOST DIED AND I'M TRYING MY BEST TO BE NICE TO YOU AFTER ALL THE FUCKERY YOU’VE SAID AND DONE AND YOU CALL ME A PIECE OF SHIT?!” He knocked over the food he had brought as he stood up. “You are the worst! You are so incredibly, impossibly entitled its insufferable! Always thinking you're soooo great just cuz’ some of your batshit ideas worked, well guess what, being right does make you any less of a CUNT!” “Oooo look at me, I'm so much better than this dumb neckbeard and this retarded old lady, well you fucking ain’t! You're just as bad as the rest of us mortals!” “In fact, you're worse! Because at least we try to be nice to each other but you just don’t give a fuck do you? You showed up one day and we gave you everything we had what do you give us in turn? You shit on me for trying to debate with you, you turn our lives upside down because of what? Some grand imaginary quest? FUCK. OFF. You're not fucking Luffy and this aint’ a Y.A. novel so stop acting like you're some unkillable destined princess deadest on finding the secrets of the universe. You're a nobody. Just like the rest of us. So act like it!” He snorted and it almost seemed like steam billowed from his nostrils before he snapped around and left, shoving over a chair and sending it sailing across the room as he went. . I watched him go and listened to his stomping footsteps echoing through the window to the plaza outside. When they faded is slid my laptop back in my lap and cracked open the screen and started typing those last bits. With that done I ripped open some bacon jerky and munched. . Whelp… That was a situation that just occurred… … I feel… I feel like I should be feeling something, but I don’t? I mean… I kinda’ already knew all the stuff he said? Like… I did kind of warn them? Like…? What did he plan to accomplish? I mean… what did I plan to accomplish? Maybe I should have elaborated? … Yeah probably should have elaborated why he was raging pile of horsecocks. . . Mmmm, bacon. o.O.o