//------------------------------//
// The Room, Part One 
// Story: The Curse of Cryonics 
// by Mine_Menace 
//------------------------------//

At nearly eight in the morning, I was reading on the floor of the bathroom, fully clothed in jeans and a T-shirt, lying on my stomach, with The Devil's Dictionary, Tales, & Memoirs propped up against the wall. Quite an interesting start to my day, considering I'd been doing that since maybe two in the morning. But I didn't care, even though my eyes were baggy and I was tired.

...Okay, I did care a bit. But I hadn't slept.

I chuckled a bit at the book as I heard the door in the main room that led to the hall open and the clopping of hooves. In seconds, I spotted Firefall Strider in my peripheral vision.

"Good morning, Patrick. What are you doing?"

"I'm reading," I told him without looking up.

"...Yes, but why?"

"Because I couldn't sleep, and this bathroom gives me light when that main room doesn't," I explained matter-of-factly.

"Oh." He paused. "What are you reading?"

I stuck my right index finger in the book to mark my page and closed the book around it, looking toward him and showing him the cover.

Firefall frowned. "I can't read that. The letters are all wrong."

I felt my face heat up from embarrassment. "Sorry. I forgot you had a different alphabet. This is called The Devil's Dictionary, Tales, & Memoirs, and it was written by a Civil War veteran called Ambrose Bierce. It's a book with pretty dark humor, and the dictionary part is just glorious."

I glanced at the unicorn's face and noticed a look of confusion. "Here, I'll show you," I muttered, looking at a page and smiling as I found something. "'Piano, noun,'" I read aloud. "'A parlor utensil for subduing the impertinent visitor. It is operated by depressing the keys of the machine and the spirits of the audience.'"

Firefall raised his eyebrows. "Uh, okay..."

"Black humor not your thing?" I muttered, glancing up at him again.

"...No, not really," he admitted. "Actually, I don't think I know any pony who uses that kind of humor."

I shrugged. "Okay..."

"Anyway," Firefall said, "I brought you some breakfast, but we have to meet up with Princess Celestia in one hour. I wouldn't waste too much time if I were you."

Breakfast. In the last couple of days, I'd completely forgotten about food. But now that this unicorn mentioned it, I was hungry. As if on cue, my stomach rumbled.

I shut the book, stood up, and stretched. "Thanks. I'll try to hurry," I said to Firefall, brushing past him to my bed, where I could see a metal tray sitting, laden with food. Setting the book on one of my open bags, I sat on the bed cross-legged in front of the tray of food.

Without thinking too much, I grabbed the first thing I saw--a sandwich--and brought it up to my mouth, taking a huge bite out of it--which was a mistake. Something tasted wrong...

With difficulty, I chewed and swallowed against the weird taste. I paused, lifted the top slice of bread to see what was underneath, and found...flowers. Daisies, specifically...if I remembered right.

I eyed Firefall, frowning. "Did you just give me a daisy sandwich?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. At his nod, I sighed. "Humans can't digest flowers. At all."

He turned red--at least as best he could with his teal coat color. "Oh...gee, I'm sorry. I should have asked. What can you eat?"

I looked at the rest of the food--a small salad and a glass of water. "The rest of this looks fine as far as I can tell, as long as the salad doesn't have hay or anything," I said, picking the daisies out of the sandwich. "But eventually, I'm going to need meat, or else I get unhealthy. Humans are omnivores."

Firefall pursed his lips. "Don't worry, there's no hay; I'll be sure to let the cook know for next time," he told me before turning away a bit. Nevertheless, I could hear him mutter, "Well, the eating meat would explain those canines Full Life found..."

Pretending I hadn't heard anything, I finished picking the daisies out of the daisy sandwich--making it a blank sandwich--and took a bite out of it, eyes wandering as I did. As Firefall's back was turned to me, I caught sight of a tattoo on his upper hind leg--a thin line of fire that curved like a snake, headed by a fireball. I decided not to comment on it and went back to my food, eating somewhat more quickly.

There was silence for a couple of minutes as I ate, with neither of us speaking--but I felt it was still weird talking to a pony. For all I knew, our brains could function very differently, not to mention the doubtless differences in our societies, and I didn't want to make it awkward. I couldn't guess what Firefall was thinking until he turned and broke the silence.

"So...Patrick," he said curiously. "What kinds of things did you bring in those bags of yours, besides that book?"

I swallowed, trying to remember what I'd put in there. "Let's see...a few more books...a little poster...clothes, obviously...my laptop and smartphone and their cables...a watch...maybe other things too, but I can't remember right off the bat."

Firefall gave a confused look that I was starting to become very familiar with. "What's a 'laptop' and a 'smartphone'?"

I paused for a moment as I finished the last bit, my tray now clean. "Uh...I'll tell you, but shouldn't we be going to meet that princess of yours?"

"Oh! Right. Yes, all right."

"I'll explain on the way...or I'll try to," I said as I found my sneakers in a bag and slid my feet into them. "Lead the way."

Firefall gave me a half-smile and trotted to the doorway. I followed, closing the door behind me.

"So...start with the laptop thing," he prompted as we started heading down the enormous hallway. "What is it?"

I scratched my chin as I thought of an appropriate place to start. "All right...do you ponies have computers?"

"Yes...but there's only a few of them in existence so far, and they're only owned by Princess Celestia herself, her school, and a couple of other wealthy ponies," Firefall said.

"...How big are they?" I asked.

"...Well, let me think...I've seen one, and I'd guess it would be...about as big as your room. Maybe even bigger," he said. "Why? Is this 'laptop' of yours a computer?"

"...Actually, yeah. It's just a lot smaller and probably more powerful."

"Smaller and more powerful?" Firefall said, sounding slightly in awe. "This is something ponies have only invented within the past few years!"

"Just wait a few decades," I muttered. "Yeah. Smaller--probably the size of that food tray--and more powerful. The smartphone is similar, except you can contact anyone who has another one of those from anywhere in the world, too. Also, that's even smaller."

Firefall frowned. "If I were almost anypony I knew, I'd say you were making it up."

"Why would I lie about something like that?" I asked rhetorically. "In any case, seeing as you don't seem to think it's definitely possible, I'm guessing you don't have any. Without other phones and a satellite, it's useless if I want to call anyone."

"We have a satellite. Two, actually. The sun and the moon."

I frowned. "Okay, now I'm starting to think you're making crap up. The moon I get, but the sun isn't a satellite to the Earth. The Earth is a satellite to the sun."

Firefall actually stopped at that point and glared directly at me. "No, the sun goes around the planet. Just as it always has. It rises in the east, goes across the sky, and sets in the west, like it does every day."

Oh, god, he's serious. In spite of this, though, I couldn't help but crack up as I stopped with him. In the position I was in, there was no other option.

"Why is this so funny?" I heard Firefall demand.

"I'm standing here...talking with a unicorn wizard pony...who understands perfect English...and believes the solar system is fucking geocentric!" I chortled, beginning to walk away in the direction we'd been heading. "You can't make this up!"

"Bu-wh-I'm not, though!" he protested, trotting quickly up to me. "It's common knowledge! Princess Celestia raises and lowers the sun and moon every day and night! It's one of the first things us ponies teach our foals!"

"Oh god, it gets even better!" I cackled. "Now a magic pony moves the sun and moon, and it's not gravity or anything!" I looked down at the little wizard, trying to contain myself. "Look, us humans proved heliocentrism was real hundreds of years before I was born. We've walked on the moon. I think I know what I'm talking about."

Firefall rolled his eyes. "You've walked on the moon? Impossible! Forget your smartphones, there is no possible way anyone--pony or not--could have walked on the moon!"

"You'll be eating your words soon enough!" I shot back. "You just gotta wait until we get into those computers and it'll tell you all you need to know!"

"Reliable historical records tell us that Princess Celestia has been raising and lowering the sun and moon for around a thousand years," Firefall countered, undeterred, "and the unicorns before her!"

"Oh, really? Then who did it before the unicorns? Helios, the sun god? Or was it Apollo? Hell, for all you know, the Grim Reaper himself raised the sun and all that!"

Firefall looked for a second as if he was going to give some kind of nasty retort--then he stopped. "Wait a second," he mumbled to himself. "Who did raise the sun and moon before the unicorns?"

"I rest my case," I concluded smugly.

"Oh no you don't!" he said, clearly irritated. "I still don't believe you! I haven't seen evidence to your...heliocentrism!"

"Oh, but you will."

"Will what?" a new voice from just around the corner asked. As we turned the corner to see who it was, we saw none other than Princess Celestia herself.

After discussing heliocentrism versus geocentrism openly and rather forcefully, our reactions went about as you might expect.

"Princess!" Firefall exclaimed in shock and slight terror, throwing himself at her hooves, bowing, while I hurriedly dipped into a bow myself, hoping she hadn't seen my face, which had probably been blushing like mad, judging by how hot it felt.

"No need for that, Firefall, Patrick," she said casually, and we straightened up. "What were you discussing?"

I froze. 

Firefall and I had been discussing heliocentrism. If what he said was true, then Princess Celestia could move the sun, and could probably, by extension, vaporize me with a touch of magic, which seemed possible if she knew I was trying to argue against heliocentrism. Even if I was right, and she couldn't move the sun, it was obvious to even me--who had almost no magic--that she was very powerful, and could probably still harm me just to silence my dissenting views.

Sure, it wasn't 1984 or anything like that, but I wasn't willing to take any chances.

All of this went through my mind in less than one second, and as Firefall started to reply to his ruler, I knew what I had to do.

Firefall blushed. "Uh...we were discussing his hel--"

"My heels!" I cut in, pointing to my feet. "Yeah, I was just telling Firefall here how I had trouble with my heels back a long time ago, but then they got better, and now they're perfectly fine!"

I held back a grimace, hoping my story would stick.

"I'm sorry to hear about that," Celestia said without much change in expression, "but we do have something to do." She stepped aside and gestured to a simple door in the wall behind her. "This is the quickest way to the mine you were found in, Patrick."

I nodded, hoping she actually had bought my story, and she turned, magicked the door open, and stepped through. Behind her back, Firefall mouthed Your heels? at me before he followed.

I stepped after them, closing the door behind me, and squinted against the sunlight as I breathed fresh air in.

And it felt good.

My eyes quickly adjusted to the sunlight, and I could tell that we were on some kind of cliff. Fortunately, the cliff side itself was a fairly good distance away to make room for a wide dirt road that ran left and right at a slight curve.

"Are you coming?"

Firefall's voice jerked me back to reality. I looked to my left and saw him and Celestia looking at me curiously, a bit down from my positions because of the slant of the road.

"Sorry," I apologized, heading after them.

As we resumed our walk, I tried to take careful notice of my surroundings. The road we were on seemed to wind around what looked like a mountain--a mountain that looked like it had a huge white castle on top of it. It looked like we had just come out of the castle--the castle I'd been living in for the past couple of days. Out from the mountain were mostly grasslands and a river, with a big forest out a ways and a small town just visible beyond.

In a split second, the thought of leaving the path and skidding down the rock face sped through my mind. And they wouldn't be able to catch me. Magic doesn't work on me. If I was careful, I might actually survive and make it away from here.

I shook my head, banishing the thought. Where had that come from?

Deciding to pretend that hadn't happened, I stuck my hands in my pockets and aimlessly kicked a loose pebble on the road as I walked. It skidded to my right, fell over the ledge, and bounced down the rock face.

Roll when you land. I shook my head again and flicked a finger against my temple. It's like my subconscious is telling me to roll down the mountain and probably kill myself...

As I returned to reality, looking toward Celestia and Firefall again, a large wooden cart laden with what looked like crystals came into view ahead of us. As we got closer, I could see a copper-colored pony with a miner's hat and without wings or a horn tossing crystals into the cart. Not noticing us, he moved back away from the cliff, where I was starting to see the opening to a mine and a mine cart sitting on rails.

The miner pony reached into the mine cart, grabbed some crystals, and made a move to toss them into the wooden wagon before spotting us. "Princess!" he said immediately, dropping into a bow and dropping the crystals, his attention firmly focused on the princess. "What brings you here?"

Another pair of hornless, wingless miner ponies--one with light gray-blue fur and the other with a more purple fur color--looked around at us from their positions by the mine cart. "Princess?" they said, before dropping into bows before her.

"Rise, my little ponies. My companions and I simply need to go to the...metal room your coworkers found the other day," Celestia said softly but firmly.

The miners stood up from their bows. "Of course, your highness," the copper one said, his eyes traveling over us. He looked at Firefall and gave no reaction, but when he looked at me, he jolted back slightly.

"You?"

"Me," I said simply, crossing my arms.

The other two looked at me and then at one another. Wordlessly, they returned to their original spots, eyeing me suspiciously.

The copper-colored miner paused briefly, then nodded. "Okay. You can walk, or you can take the mine cart. The mine cart is quicker and it's safe, so if you wanna use that, go ahead."

I shrugged. "Works for me," and Firefall nodded.

"Okay then. We can take you two--" he pointed at Firefall and I-- "down together in this mine cart as soon as we're done unloading it, or we can take you, your highness--" he nodded to Celestia-- "alone. There isn't a lotta room in these things. Whoever doesn't go first will have to wait."

"I can simply fly down," Celestia offered.

"Right, your highness. Well, you two, just wait a second and this thing'll be ready for you."

The miner briefly bowed to Celestia again before turning to his companions. "Well, what are you waiting for? Let's empty it already!"

He promptly stepped over, scooped out a handful--hoofful--of crystals and tossing them into the wooden cart, and his companions copied him. With their speed, it was done in less than a minute, and they stepped back.

"Okay, this is how it's gonna work," said the copper-colored miner. "You, big guy--" he pointed to me-- "you're gonna wanna get in first."

I did wordlessly and found that, even when crossing my legs beneath me, I occupied almost the entire floor of the mine cart.

The copper miner nodded. "Thought that would happen. Now, I hate to say this, but you--" he pointed to Firefall-- "are gonna have to sit on his..."

He paused, clearly struggling to find an appropriate word. So I helped him out.

"My lap," I finished for him. Ponies, I assumed, didn't exactly have laps.

"Right, his lap."

Firefall frowned slightly, but didn't complain, went over to the mine cart, and climbed in, sitting right in my lap like a dog--though more careful of how he placed his hooves and tail.

The copper miner looked at us carefully. "Okay then, looks as good as I think it can get. This thing is one speed only, and I wouldn't stick your legs or heads out if I were you, but you're not gonna fall out. It'll take you to the end of the tracks as we've made them so far, but that's not very far from where we found that...room of yours."

I shrugged and nodded. Looking past him, I could still see the other two miners glaring at me distrustfully. So I simply glared back for a few seconds.

The miner moved behind the mine cart. "You might wanna hang on to something, though. Get ready, because this is goin' down in three...two...one..."

And he pushed hard. We rolled slowly at first, but at the first incline, we immediately picked up a ton of speed--speed at what some might call sickeningly fast and sharp turns out of nowhere.

Essentially, it was a five-minute roller coaster ride, except in the dark and without seat belts. As I once loved roller coasters, I probably would have loved it, but I didn't care so much anymore. Whoopee...

Firefall, on the other hand, felt tense. It was especially clear when I stroked his back, forgetting for a moment that he was sapient and not a dog--I'd known dogs his size. When I stroked him, he stiffened up even more, and I remembered who he was and I stopped. I would have apologized, too, if not for the racket the mine cart was making and the loudness of the wind blowing past us--my apology would have gone unheard.

The mine cart eventually slowed down as we neared some lights, which reflected off of crystals still embedded in the walls of the mine. We neared the buffers at the end of the track, but the mine cart slowed down enough so that when it hit the buffers, it was more of a tap than a slam.

Must be magic again...

Firefall began to climb out, careful not to hurt me, and as he did, a couple more miners with dull coat colors and lit helmets spotted us and came over. "Hey!" one of them, a greenish-gray one yelled out. "What do you think you're doing--oh, holy Celestia, it's you!"

The last bit was directed at me as he saw me behind Firefall, and he backed up slightly. The other miner--this one with a dull yellow coat--did the same. "What are you doing here?!" he yelled.

"Jesus Christ, I'm not gonna eat you or anything!" I yelled, carefully standing and stepping out.

"No, he won't, will you?" said a voice from behind me. I turned and saw Princess Celestia standing behind me with a smile.

"Jesus!" I yelled in surprise, backing up a step. "Where did you come from...your highness?"

"I've been following you and Firefall," she told me without losing her smile. "I did say I was going to fly down."

"R-right," I said, smiling weakly.

"Princess!" said the two miners, running up and bowing.

"What can we do for you?" asked the greenish-gray one.

"And why are...they here?" added the yellow one.

"Rise, my little ponies. No doubt you remember the metal room you and your coworkers found Patrick here in, don't you?" Celestia said while pointing to me and getting a nod in response as the miners stood. "Well, we think there are things in there that can help us. Which way is it?"

"It's right up there, your highness," said the yellow one, pointing behind us. I turned and saw the edge of something metal on a ledge five feet above us and about twenty yards away.

Looking up reminded me of how deep we were underground, and I tried to follow the mine cart tracks with my eyes. They disappeared quickly, though, and the only lights I could see were not that of the mine entrance, but of the miners' headlamps and of some other artificial lighting that seemed attached to the walls. Must be freaking magic.

"There are steps to get up to it," the greenish-gray miner said, "and it's open, too. It's exactly as we left it."

"Excellent. Thank you."

Out of my peripheral vision I saw the miners go to their work and Celestia turn towards the room. What I didn't fully expect was Firefall to turn to me and approach me.

"Patrick, is something wrong?" he asked in a surprisingly caring tone.

"No, I'm just looking around," I muttered.

"Why, is something interesting?"

I pointed to the lights on the walls. "What are those made from?"

He gave me a look as if I was stupid. "That's magic; how do you--oh, right. I'm sorry, I forgot you're not used to magic. We use magic to light caves and mines, too; not just buildings."

I sighed and held back an eye roll. "Of course."

I followed the two of them up the steps the miners had pointed out and, within a minute, was facing the gray, metal room I'd spent god-knew-how-long in. It was completely dark inside and the sliding door had been forced nearly all the way open.

And it was human-made. Probably one of the last of its kind left.

"After you," Celestia said, gesturing me forward.

I took a breath, staring into the darkness, and stepped through the open doorway.