//------------------------------// // III - Pancakes With a Side of Sorrow // Story: Spike's Journey // by Integrity //------------------------------// "Hi, Spike! What was it like nailing Scootaloo?" [record scratch] [freeze frame] Yep, that's me. You're probably wondering how I ended up in this situation. Everything was going so well-- we woke up together, dug up a couple bits, and walked to the front of the building unnoticed. When we sat down, things were fine, but then Pinkie "open wide" Pie had to come over and make both of us spit our coffees out. The party horse managed to pull napkins out of her demon magic hair and wipe it all up in seconds. "W-What?" Scootaloo actually looked like her coat turned colors; I felt kinda bad, actually. Imagine losing your family, house, money, then all of a sudden your virginity and dignity in one single nuclear cart crash. Actually, Virginity Dignity sounds like a kickass album. I'd so buy that. Back to the point-- I sit here and look up at Pinkie "whoops, I don't have any money to pay, pizza guy" Pie, who's sitting there grinning like she just figured out how to snort sugar up her uncharted crevices. "Pinkers, I don't think that's any of your business." "Sure it is! Also, it's Pinkie." "Plinko." "Pinkie." "Ponka." "PINKIE." "Minka." "PINKIE." "Panko." "PINKIE!" "..." I waited for the penultimate moment. Everybody eats that up for breakfast, after all, if I could ever get Pinkie "the backdoor is always open" Pie out of my damn face, but then Scootaloo interrupts me. "Pinkie the Piggie." And just like that, it was over. The horse dropped to her knees in such absolute fire, I almost felt steel beams melt directly off of jet fuel. It was that incredible. The Pink had been stinked. The war was over. Unfortunately, she started crying and ran into the back room, meaning... "Hey Scoots? Now we ran out of bottomless pancakes." "Oh. Damn." "That was still an incredible roast, though, just--" "No batter to cook it on?" "Yeah." Scootaloo began to think. "Oh wait-- Applejack always has pancakes made this time in the morning!" Now that was when I jumped up. "Shit, yeah! PAN-CAKE-RAID! PAN-CAKE-RAID!" The adorable fuel began to join in the chant. Today was not a day to meddle in puny horses, inhaling illegal substances through unspeakable methods-- it was time to have a true adventure! With pancakes! ~One Sudden POV Switch Later~ "APPLEJACK!" The entire family, consisting of Applejack, Big Macintosh, Apple Bloom, and good old should-be-in-the-ground-by-now Granny Smith, all turned to find an interesting sight; Scootaloo was riding on Spike's back, her wings pushing the torque of the scooter that Spike was, admittedly, completely terrible at. Both of them were wearing mud as facepaint and a small stick was in Spike's claw, but a small pebble got in the way of their warpath, sending them topping down into the pig's area, where they were promptly covered in mud. As the farm pony came to help, the same stick made by Noble Warrior and Slayer of Fillies Spike the Brave and Glorious (as he titled himself) exited the pool of filth; soon after, Scootaloo rose as well. "We have come for your breakfast produce, nomad of orange!" "Yeah, what he said!" Applejack was utterly frozen for a few seconds, right before bursting into tears on the spot with unstoppable laughter. Scootaloo had to interrupt soon after. "Uh...so...food, please?" The pancakes were absolutely delicious, with coatings of blueberry, strawberry, chocolate, and huge platter-sized dollops of whipped cream. Not even half of them were gone by the time everypony was absolutely stuffed, with Spike and Scootaloo being incredibly thankful for the otherwise unnecessary help. Absolutely nothing could ruin this moment; that is, until Apple Bloom decided to strike up a conversation. "So, Spike, Ah guess ya' got everything worked out?" Spike looked up from the table. 'Worked out'? There wasn't anything wrong with his lack of muscles, and there surely weren't any problems with him as far as he was aware. Unless...no, she couldn't possibly manage to say the one nuclear comment that would ruin this entire moment. But, Spike was sure taking the completely nonchalant idiot path wouldn't possibly endanger everypony's sanity. "Whatever do you mean?" Apple Bloom frowned. "Well, i o'erheard a conversation with Twilight and Applejack that you ran away from Pon-- oh." THAT'S IT, FOLKS. PACK IT UP. IT'S ALL OVER NOW. Big Mac and Granny Smith had just remembered very important events they had to do on 123 "Anywhere But Here" Avenue. Applejack was just staring at Apple Bloom like she had just bombed Zebrica, and worst of all, Scootaloo slowly rotated her body to look at Spike, who was simply looking towards the ceiling now, not even wanting to control the damage that had been done. He'd let this one grow to the maximum height. Spike's mind wasn't filled with anger, hyped up panic, or even smug anime grins. His entire emotional spectrum went pure white; he was at peace now, for soon, his head would be on a pole and the rest of his body incinerated by the mighty force of karma itself. However, he had taken a moment to enjoy this ceiling; it was an incredibly nice ceiling. This ceiling had connected to Spike; it was tore down by it's family and friends, too, and rebuilt to a brand new form. Yes, truly, the old yellowish green ceiling could not match the beauty of this completely identical somewhat lime ceiling, as it had not related to the suffering that this ceiling was born out of. Oh, wait, Scootaloo's yelling at you, bud. You should probably take a listen, in the rare chance that she paraphrases at the end of her tantrum. "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU!" Scootaloo pounded a hoof at Spike, who finally looked towards her with a minuscule tilt of a smile. "I TRUSTED YOU NEXT TO ME! I HAD YOU! I...I..." Tears were starting to stream down her face. "I loved you..." Spike looked to the side at the Apple sisters. Apple Bloom was almost crying from the eruption she caused. Applejack was just looking on with widened eyes, catching Spike's glance and simply nodding. The nod was enough to break him out of his meditated stupor; he needed to do something, ANYTHING, to get out of this situation, and just with that, it clicked. Everything fell into place, and his mental state was completely powered with the greatest answer he's ever come up with ever; he had to lie, more than he ever had than his life, right in front of the Element of Honesty, and it needed to be GOOD, or he was 100% no satisfaction guaranteed fu-- "WELL?" She was waiting. "...You see, Scootaloo, it was the mules." The entire room went silent. The orange filly was shocked. "What?" "The mules. They did it all." Apple Bloom decided to pop in. "How did mules make you move out of your own house?" "Watermelon." Spike was beginning to sweat bullets. "...I...KNEW IT!" Scootaloo pounded the table, the long abandoned pancakes bouncing once again. "THOSE DIRTY MULES! COME ON, APPLE BLOOM!" With a gallop, both of the fillies were out of the door. Spike sighed; thank Celestia for the mule strategy to once again never fail. A single cough, however, made him turn to Applejack. "So ya' made my sister a racist." "...No, you see, the mu--" "Spahke." "Alright, sorry." Applejack sighed. "Well, ya' know Ah can't let ya' stay here, and Ah gotta tell Twilight that I saw you stop by. Honesty and all that." Spike doubled that sigh. "Yeah." As he closed his eyes, he heard the door being pushed open. "Run." The dragon peeked to see the farm pony waving him out the door. "W-what?" "Ah can't turn ya' in if ya' ran away, now can Ah?" Spike jumped up and ran out the door, catching her hint. "Thank you thank you thaaaank youuuu!" The orange pony sighed and walked into the next room to find Big Macintosh and Granny Smith around the corner. "Come on, Big Mac, we gotta stop them from going mule hunting." "E'yup."