Trigger, Sky Trigger - 19th of Megan, 17 EoHTrigger, Sky Trigger - 19th of Megan, 17 EoH
Buckingcold - Crystal Empire
I spun my chair around to look out the cockpit’s side window, watching the clouds shoot past like puffs of steam in a wind tunnel while casually sipping from a glass of Snake River Sarsaparilla. Too bad there weren't anymore of those burgers. Pinkie made really savory food when you asked her to, and with the Skyranger’s gally, she could still fulfill our little wager.
Of course to be a proper gentlecolt, I’d cook breakfast on the flight back. Hmm, hash browns, pancakes, and- No. Hash browns, french toast, and some caesar salad with sriracha dressing. Yeah, Pinkie would like that way better, and she’d made me burgers she couldn’t digest. I owed her a meal she liked.
I smiled and took a sip of my ‘out of official production soda’. Ah, the perks of being a technomancer raised in a high-tech society. Everypony else would be chugging along in their sleek zeppelins, while Pinkie and I had the Skyranger.
Is it arrogant to put your name into everything you invent? I hope not. Sky’s a good word to use in the names of things. Sounds cool, short, simple, easy to make into an acronym… And in my case, it can identify my property.
It’s also especially good for aircraft. Especially for an aircraft that’s a supersonic mobile laboratory with VTOL capabilities. If it’s basically the king of the skies, it should have sky in the name.
I frowned slightly. A ‘king of the skies’ that I mostly use to go camping in… Maybe I have a problem with over-engineering things. Meh, at least it’s cool.
How much longer did we have to fly for? Depending on how long it took Dash to find a Starstone, whatever that was, maybe we could be back only a few hours after her? Heh, I crack me up.
“I miss everypony,” Pinkie sighed as she spun in circles in her seat next to me.
I felt my ears droop. Sad Ponk is bad! Engage cheer up mode.
“Yeah, it is a bit weird of Celestia to send everypony out alone like this,” I agreed with a nod, spinning my chair around to face her. “I swear it’s like she thinks asking me anything would be an imposition. I’d have flown everypony everywhere. No big deal.
“Probably take just as long for us to do one circuit everywhere as it will take for Fluttershy to get back in a damn blimp. Ring ring! Hello, airplanes? It’s blimps. You win.”
Pinkie smiled just a little. “Hehe… We need to finish that sometime,” she giggled half-happily.
“Would it make you feel better if we went to pick up Fluttershy when we’re done here?” I offered. “She’ll take the longest getting home, and we know exactly where she’ll be. You two can have a ‘we cut time off this quest’ party.”
Pinkie’s ears perked as I mentioned a possible party. “Oh my gosh! We could totally get Rarity too! She’ll be on the way! Is there enough stuff onboard for a four pony party?”
I blinked in surprise. “Um, you didn’t stash party supplies aboard, for party supply emergencies?”
“You asked me not to store things in your things,” Pinkie reminded me with a giggle. “Remember the Skycopter?”
“That was eight years ago. When we just started dating,” I laughed flashing her a smile of my own. “You know how my tech works now-”
“The willing suspension of disbelief?” Pinkie joked.
I rolled my eyes. “Anywho, yeah, we should have more than enough for a little party,” I resumed cheerfully. “We’ll just go pick up this fancy bottle of mineral water, swing down to Neighpone, pick up your girlfriends, and drop everyone off back in Ponyville, and then FINALLY get to just relax and do nothing important whatsoever!”
Pinkie giggled and leaned over to give me a kiss. “Thanks, Triggie.”
“No problem. It’s what I do,” I replied, about to pull her into my chair for a quick cuddle when the auto-pilot chirped.
I looked at the control console. I’d muted the voice alerts for dinner, we kept getting weather warnings.
“Cool! We’re here,” I said happily, setting my drink in a cup holder so I could look for a landing site near the town.
“Can we land in town?” Pinkie asked hopefully. “Celestia said she’d send a letter ahead of us so we could get a guide.”
“Sure,” I said as I flipped on the scanner, searching for a large enough space inside the town to land.
Make that the small as fuck town. Small as fucking town consisting of like fourteen small dome buildings connected together by little tunnels. It looked less like a town and more like a moon base.
I guess that made sense with the town being built just a few degrees short of the north pole. It had to get cold as fuck here.
Right. Buckingcold. I see whatcha did there.
I mean I got it before. Far north, it be cold, yo. Still, seeing those little clustered domes down there all covered up in piles of windblown ice and draped in snow. It was different.
You could see that not only was this town named with a curse, but it had to be. Because the place FELT cursed. Nothing should be living here. Why did this place exist? What resource could possibly justify placing this town here, on the edge of the world next to that gaping hole in the ice which looked way too much like a fanged maw to-
“That spot looks big enough!” Pinkie exclaimed eagerly, pointing with her hoof tip to a spot on the screen.
I shook my head, snapped out of wherever the fuck my mind had gone by Pinkie’s sudden outburst. Looking at the screen and seeing her choice worked, I nodded and tapped the screen to tell the autopilot to land us.
“Come on,” I said standing up. “Let's grab the snow suits and see if we can’t get this thing done within ten minutes.”
“Okie dokie lokie!” Pinkie sang hopping up from her seat and bolting through the door.
A few minutes later, with the Skyranger’s engines spinning down and the howling winds shaking the hull, I finished slipping into my environment suit.
Pinkie may have felt fine with a scarf, a hat, and a fluffy coat but I was not. Not when the winds at ground level were already icing up parts of the hull. I was going to have to leave the heat on. And probably run a full ice check before we took off.
Which meant sealed environmental suit with built in heater it was. I’d picked the one I’d painted up like the HEV suit for this outing.
“Aww come on Trigger, you don’t need that,” Pinkie giggled for the third time.
“I don’t want the cold to give me a gelding. Buck me, right?” I mumbled with an eyeroll.
Pinkie giggled. “Again? Shouldn’t we get the water first?” She asked giving me a playful wink.
“Got the bottle?” I asked with a smile.
“Yepperooni!” Pinkie exclaimed, fishing a small glass bottle out of her mane with her tail.
“Awesome, let’s roll,” I said as she stuck the bottle back into her ‘purse’ and I smacked the door release button.
The door hummed open, the anti-dust shield crackling and sparking angrily the second the flurries of snow battered against the field. I could see a group of three ponies in the distance, each one dressed in a similar suit to my own. In fact, yes! Those were production models I sold.
Heh, and Pinkie was calling me silly for putting on the proper clothing.
The three ponies gave me a wave through the snowstorm as I hopped out of the Skyranger into knee deep snow. I waved back, turned around, helped Pinkie out, and used my watch to close the door behind us.
As I expected, despite the minor blizzard going on, Pinkie was perfectly fine with her crochet cap.
“She’s going to freeze to death!” One of the three ponies greeting us called urgently.
“It’s not so bad!” Pinkie replied with a smile and a wave as she zipped off to stand in front of the three.
While all three of their suits were the stock blue with orange highlights, they had the ‘b’ option helmets with the three large glass panels allowing you to see all of their faces with the included LED lighting.
The one in the middle was a unicorn, whose fluffy ears, slate-gray fur and purple mane indicated they were half batpony, with the unicorn half replacing the wings (Unless there was an alicorn nopony knew about who had the thinnest wings ever and could fit inside unicorn built clothing). Based on the face I was guessing she was a girl.
On her left a changeling, with bright pink eyes and some pink LED strips glued to her exoskeleton in a vine pattern. I immediately approved of this fashion choice, and snapped a picture with my helmet to spread the idea around back home. That mare had the right idea for how to look fucking awesome.
On the unicorn’s right, a half changeling, half pony, hybrid. Though the only way I could tell was silky blue fur and bright orange insect eyes rather than pony ones. Then again, she could be a normal shiftybug, just shifted a bit.
“Hi! I’m Pinkie Pie!” Pinkie greeted happily. “This is my husband Triggie! What're your names?”
“I’m Penny Cart,” the unicorn mare replied with a worried frown. “It’s forty-six below. You need proper winter clothing.”
“I’m fine, Penny! Magic scarf,” Pinkie said soothingly while beaming the mare a huge smile. "Twilight made one for everypony! Well, not Everypony everypony. Just the girls and I. But I'm pretty sure she COULD make one for everypony every pony if she really really wanted to. Oh! We could totally ask her really really nicely if you want one too!"
“Oh, okay,” Penny said with a relieved smile, while the rest of her face showed just a little stress from dealing with Pinkie's overeager personality. “Good. On my Right is Clip, and the buggie on my left is Stick. She’s my mate and will be taking you two into the mines. We got Celestia’s letter, and, um… Well, this kind of sucks but the part of the mine you need to enter isn’t exactly stable this time of year. It’s not too long of a trip, but don’t be too loud or you could collapse that ice tunnel.”
I raised an eyebrow. “Wait, you’re mining IN the ice sheet, not under it? What’s so important that you’re digging it out of ice way up here?” I asked, needing a concrete answer.
Penny frowned, biting her lip worriedly. “Sorry, that’s classified.”
I closed my eyes in irritation at the stupid. “I’m going to be in the mine shortly, I’ll see whatever it is…”
“It’s still classified, I can’t just tell you,” Penny protested politely while giving me a sheepish grin.
Clip shook her head and rolled her eyes. “Penny, it’s Sky Trigger,” she said with a sigh.
“I know,” Penny replied.
“He’s Ayna Trigger’s brother,” Clip continued. “She’s a Library Licensed Wizard. I attend her lectures. I’ve seen Sky in the Library with her before. Mister Trigger-”
“Doctor,” I corrected impulsively. “I didn’t go to superscience school for thirty years to be called mister.”
Hehe! References. Must contain smile!
“Doctor Trigger,” Clip corrected with a polite nod. “Do you have Dragon Level Clearance? I know you won't have your sister’s clearance but presumably-”
Wait what? What the hell was sis’s wizard university doing up here that needed that kind of clearance? I mean that wasn’t the top level classified stuff, but the number of my inventions that used Dragon Level classified research was pretty damn high. It was serious shit.
“Yeah I do,” I said with a nod. “What’s the Trottingham Library interested in that needs Dragon Level?”
“A room temperature liquid superconductor for thaumaturgic current,” Penny said quietly, clearing her throat afterward.
“Oh shit! Yeah, okay, that is a big deal,” I agreed with a nod.
Now I wanted a sample.
“Yeah, and as far as we can tell you can only find it here,” Stick added with the tell-tale voice of an eager mage. “It freezes solid into a red crystal at zero too! When solid it’s as resistant to magic passing through it as zinc, but still able to be affected by spells. Meaning we can magically freeze and thaw it. This stuff could revolutionize enchanting. I’ll happily show you some if we happen across any. That section of the mine is mostly depleted.”
Now I REALLY wanted a sample. You could use that to build a magic based transistor. I wasn’t exactly sure what could be done with one, not in any way where I couldn’t just use an electrical version to better effect because well, knowledge of a whole engineering crew in my head! But I was pretty certain I could sell enchanters magical transistors. For an assload to the power of a fuckton of bits.
“That’s pretty damn cool!” I exclaimed with an honest grin. “Um, Pinkie can we-”
The wind shifted, my ears twitching under my helmet in response to its odd sound. The wind carried the unmistakable sound of heavy labored breathing. The bone chilling sound carried over to us from the mine itself.
“Yes, we can take a tour afterward. Fluttershy probably won't even be in Neighpone by the time we get there anyways,” she said thoughtfully, rubbing her chin with a hoof. "Ooo! Do you have souvenir shops here, Penny? Everypony would love to get something nice!"
I blinked, Pinkie’s voice drawing my attention away from the strangely creepy wind. We were surrounded by literal mountains of ice. Nature can make for some creepy shit when it feels like it.
"Sorry Pinkie, no souvenir shops up here," the unicorn apologized with a slight frown.
"Aww..." Pinkie lamented, her ears drooping sadly.
"As for Fluttershy..." I shrugged. “I don't know. Those new airships are pretty speedy. I think she’ll be there by the time we arrive. What would that be, a total of thirty hours? We just throttle it down a bit, no biggie. We have the fuel to do that as long as we take things slow.
"A tour would be fun, we'll have the time for one, and I would like one.”
I had planned on refueling the Skyranger this weekend. There hadn't been time to refuel before leaving for this whole mess. But as long as I didn't do anything crazy with her, she should be able to make that round trip.
Penny hummed stroking her own chin with a hoof. “I’ll authorize a tour, but only if you sign an NDA, and agree to work out a contract for better mining tools. Magically hardened steel is well… It gets soft. Something about this place is… Well, it’s a bit weird. We originally came here chasing a rumor saying Mage Meadowbrook's tower is down there somewhere.
“I think it is. The mines have odd ward-like effects in some places. Oh! Nothing dangerous, just odd sounds, tricks of light and shadows, the worst thing so far is communications equipment is… Spotty down there. Magic or tech.”
I raised an eyebrow. “Odd… I don’t know of many things which block both EM and MW,” I mused.
I wonder if it would mess with a quantum link? Not that very many things could. Though Ayna had found a spell which did it once, not that she had ever dared to cast it again.
“Can we go into the mine now?” Pinkie asked eagerly. “I want to see the super crystals. Hmmm, that’s a silly name for them! They are red and super duper magic, but that doesn't’ sound right..."
Penny shook her head. “No, sorry. But soon! Come on inside for a minute and will get those NDAs done, then you have free reign. Stick, are you still okay with taking them down there?”
“Of course!” Stick agreed, her LED strips pulsing in time to her emotional outburst.
Yesssss! Litteral mood lighting for buggies! I need the tech spec for that. So awesome!
It shouldn’t have been possible, but the icy chasm cut into the ground looked like a fanged maw from the side too. At least, it wasn’t possible with a natural formation of ice. Not with this much detail.
“Okay, Stick, the fuck?” I demanded as the changeling stepped between two ‘fangs’.
“Humm?” she asked turning her head back to look at me.
“Why is the entrance carved to look like a mouth with teeth?” I asked pointed to the entryway with both forehooves and a raised eyebrow.
“Because Rarity isn’t here to tell them that looks terrible?” Pinkie guessed with a little grin.
“Actually, it’s to prevent the wind from blowing across the entrance. The ‘fangs’ break up the wind and prevent the bulk of the wind from blowing down and burying us all alive in the snow while producing the most terrifying shriek you’ve ever heard in your life,” Stick explained with a laugh. “Sorry! It’s been so long that I’ve kind of forgotten that it looks like a mouth. It’s really just a dome shape with cones.”
Humm, a wind wall. That made sense. It still seemed like an odd shape for one. Normally you’d use a series of vertical posts. But then again, this had to keep out the ever-shifting snow drifts too.
“Trust me, if this creeps you out, don’t look into the ice walls inside,” Stick added while unclipping a lantern from her suit’s side with her magic and lighting it.
“You don’t know a light spell? Or is this part of that ‘magic works weird below’ thing?” I asked as I walked up to the entrance myself.
“Some of column A some of column B. I’m total crap with light spells,” Stick laughed as she trotted into the mineshaft. “We’d get a dull, dim green light if I did it, and sometimes light spells just die. The effect that does it moves. I know I know, it’s a bit creepy, but if we find Meadowbrook's tower below all this junk we’ll get to turn it off. My money's on her as having worked out the ‘super duper crystal’ as Pinkie called it. Finding her notes on the stuff is well worth the occasional mini-heart attack.”
“Is it really that bad down here?” Pinkie asked uncertainly as the three of us began to walk down the hewn ice corridor.
The mine was definitely quarried by changelings. You could tell if you spent any real time in a changeling hive. While they had made the floor flat the walls were rounded, more organic in shape. That was good! Changeling dug tunnels naturally distribute the weight of the land above thanks to the distorted arch shaped roof. It prevented the need for their tunnels to be braced or buttressed.
It was also bad. Ice is not stone and cuts very differently. The combination of smooth curves and tons of cracks, facets, and fragments sent the light of the lantern scattering all over the place. The dim yellow light bounced off the ice, refracting and reflecting around to create illusory lights which twinkled in the distance.
As well as a whole heap of tangled shadows. They slid over one another, looking almost alive as we moved and the lantern swung back and forth. Guh, why was this place so creepy?
“So, Stick, you know that these suits have flood lamps in them, right?” I asked, tapping my watch to switch on the barrel mounted lamps.
“Wait! Do-” Stick yelped.
It was too late. The bright white lamps flashed on, immediately filling the mine shaft with noon-bright light. Noon-bright light which reflected, refracted, and focused through the ice and turned the entire hallway into a massive lens flare of death.
“AHHHHH!” I yelped, turning the light off as quickly as I could.
“My eyes!” Pinkie whimpered, ears drooping under her cap as she reached up to rub at her eyes with her hooves.
“Sorry, hon… That was dumb,” I mumbled blinking the light out of my eyes.
“Yeah, there’s a reason we’re using dim yellow light. The freaky shadows are way better than transforming the ice into the sun,” she grumbled shifting her eyes away for a moment before putting them back. “There, reset.”
“Why is this ice so refractive? It’s like optical quality glass!” I grumbled, shaking the spots from my eyes with a few good blinks.
Stick sighed. “As far as we can tell, most of the ice is made from distilled water. So it’s pure, and almost totally clear. But it’s got chunks of other kinds of ice in it too, a lot of which is as reflective as snow. The whole mine basically acts like an optical amplifier, and we get the Megabright Light of Doom diffused across basically everything within fifty meters.”
How the fuck do you even get this much-distilled water!? Let alone not have a chunk of ice sheet made up of frozen normal mineral enriched water.
Magic. That’s how. Stick was right, there had to be a mage’s tower down there someplace.
“Right, well… Lantern it is,” I agreed as we resumed our walk down the dimly lit tunnel. Descending deeper and deeper into the ice.
I had expected twists and turns as the mine wound around to follow the ‘ore’ deposits. That was not the case. Everything was nice, neat, and symmetrical, with a main corridor running for who knows how long to the east, and with branching tunnels to the north and the south along the entirety of the main tunnel.
The dig looked more archaeological than well, resource gathering. But that fit with the story. Frankly, with how damn creepy it was down here, if it had looked like a standard mine I would have begun questioning things. Like ‘why would a science team dig for ruins like this?’
I could tell Pinkie was disappointed too. Her sad, slow, unenthusiastic steps echoed through the mine, slightly out of step with Stick and I.
“You wanted the whole place to be a twisted maze, didn’t you?” I asked her with a smile.
She nodded and sighed. “Yeah… It would fit well with the creepy entrance and could have been like a corn maze.”
“Well, if you’re disappointed at a lack of interesting things,” Stick said casually as she stopped walking near one section of wall and held the lantern up to it, squinting through the ice before nodding. “Yep! You can see it from here. Look right where I’m looking, squint a bit and you should see it.”
I frowned, nodded, and trotted over to the wall along with Pinkie. Squinting through the ice I searched around, looking for anything before I saw it.
A huge reptilian creature, three times the size of a pony, frozen in position as if curled up, afraid and hiding.
“Woah… This ice sheet froze FAST,” I exclaimed, snapping a picture with my helmet camera.
“I wonder if we can thaw the poor thing out?” Pinkie mused worriedly. “Do you have a big enough bowl? I don't think we should microwave it, that could hurt!”
“Pretty sure it’s dead,” Stick said regrettably. “If we ever get permission to disturb the remains, Penny wants to dig that thing out and dissect it. I’d rather leave it alone, but hey, unknown species is unknown.”
“Yeah, and with a mouth like that, it's probably a monster,” I mused thoughtfully.
Stick shrugged. “No way to find out unless we can prove it ate ponies. Whatever it was, the poor thing clearly died from being frozen solid. Is that Nightmare Night enough for you, Miss Pie?” Stick asked with a playful giggle.
“No, it’s just sad. I think she was nice,” Pinkie sighed, putting one hoof against the ice wall.
I looked back at the frozen reptile. Pinkie’s hunches were usually spot on. I’d known that long before we’d dated. I made a mental note to come back here one day and see about digging that thing up. Maybe enough DNA would be preserved for Lily to do something with it.
Still… It’s presence raised another question.
What conjured this much pure water and had frozen it so quickly that the creature could not escape?
“Okay, so, like… How much further is it?” I asked Stick with a nervous frown.
The ice moaned and creaked this far down. But it seemed to be more than just the ice moaning. The now twisting and curving tunnel took the groans and screams and distorted them.
At least, that’s what I knew. What I felt was completely different. One can only giggle at the ghoulies if they can see where they are. The dull pained moans seemed to come from everywhere, nowhere, and elsewhere all that the same time.
“Don’t worry, we’re close,” Stick promised. “I’ve got the heebie-jeebies too. It’s just the ice.”
“It’s not so bad,” Pinkie giggled springing ahead of our little party for a moment. “If you listen closely it’s like a thousand voices whispering ‘log sloth’ over and over and over and over! It’s hilarious! Hehe.”
I blinked in surprise and stopped walking, cocking my head to try and listen to the sound as closely as I could. If Pinkie was right, that would definitely-
Yes. Yes, it did sound like words. “Huh. I hear ‘Logs a moth’,” I snickered.
Stick paused as well, looking back up the hallway. “Penny insists he hears words in the moans too. I never have. I guess my hearing is just bad?” She mused worriedly.
I shook my head slowly and took a step forward. “Nah, changelings are less prone to apophenia is all,” I said with a reassuring grin. “Thanks, Pinkie, that helped.”
“Of course it did!” She giggled trotting a few more steps over the hewn ice before stopping and staring at the floor, moving her nose close down to the ice itself. “Um… Sticky-stick? Can you get the light over here, please?”
“Sure,” the changeling agreed, moving the lamp over next to Pinkie.
Curious, I stepped over as well looking downwards through the ice at… At… What was that?
I squinted more, trying to get my eyes to focus on the shadowy thing deep within the ice below. But they didn’t give a buck. I was tempted to try using thermal imaging, but the copious amounts of ice in here would likely block any heat sources, even if there were any to be had.
“Odd, I’ve never seen anything down there before,” Stick mused. “The ice must have collapsed below us. There’s a few bubbles in the ice sheet, we’re headed to one. There must be another below us and some of its roof fell off, thinning the ice and revealing it.”
“Yeah, but what’s in it?” I asked. “That looks sort of like… A structure, maybe?”
The shadows below hid almost everything, but I swore I could see five obelisks, arranged in a circle, or maybe a diamond. The way light rippled and warped through the ice made it impossible to be sure what exactly was below.
“You’re guess is as good as mine. We'll have to dig down there later. That could be the tower. Well done Pinkie!” Stick exclaimed, holding up a hoof for Pinkie to bump.
Pinkie smiled and returned the hoof bump. “No problem! I just wanted to see if I could see my reflection in the ice and poof! There it was. Um, but are we close to the pool? It’s colder down here than up top and this is only a magical scarf, not a miracle scarf.”
I couldn’t help but laugh at her joke as I checked the temperature via my suit’s systems. “Holy crap! It’s minus sixty-three!” I explained eyes widening in horror. “Pinkie, how much does that enchantment offset? There should be an emergency blanket in the left flank pouch of-”
“It’s okay Triggie, I’m just starting to get a bit cold. Like a winter day in just your fur. It’s not that bad yet,” she soothed giving me a reassuring smile.
“It’s normally never below minus forty in here,” Stick said worriedly looking down the tunnel ahead. “We have about a minute more walking to do. Let’s get this over with quick. If some kind of super chilled air pocket broke open or something… How cold can these suits handle?”
“Yours? Assuming it’s stock it’s okay down to um, well, minus sixty,” I admitted with a cough. “Don’t worry, three more degrees shouldn’t be a problem immediately. But you’ll want to check for damage when we get topside. I’ll replace it with a spare if you don’t have the means.”
No need to tell her that mine was good for another forty degrees. Sure I skimp a bit with my civilian grade stuff, but the box did say ‘good to minus sixty’. I’m not a liar.
“Appreciated. Without these things I’m toast up here,” Stick said with a relieved sigh. “Come on, almost there.”
I was now convinced that Stick had no idea what a minute was. Because that was five minutes. I know. I’d timed it.
I’d also kept an eye on the temperature read out. We were now at minus motherfucking eighty!
Stick’s suit was growing ice crystals around the seals, and the poor change bug was slowing down. I’d decided to carry her on my back, the suit should preserve heat long enough to get her out of here if she went into hibernation.
At the moment, she was still able to hold the lantern up for the three of us.
We’d also had to wrap pinkie in the silvery survival blanket like a cloak. The magic her scarf held was NOT equipped for an air temperature just a bit colder than dry ice. I was mentally kicking myself for not insisting she bring an environment suit.
Especially since each breath she exhaled turned into snowflakes as the carbon dioxide froze a few seconds after leaving her mouth…
The tunnel suddenly opened up without warning. We’d entered into a big bowl shaped room which had not been carved from the ice but had clearly been an air bubble trapped forever beneath the surface.
“T-t-t-this i-i-s… it,” Stick stammered through a mouth of chattering teeth.
“Pinkie, go for it. But try not to get… How the buck are we supposed to get liquid water down here at these temperatures!?” I snapped, realizing just how im-fucking-possible this whole quest was.
At least without bringing a motherfucking white phosphorous grenade!
Pinkie shrugged and slipped the bottle out of her mane. “Ice melts into water. That will be just fine. I think,” she decided trotting forwards slowly.
I followed along so Stick’s lantern would light her path. With an air pocket like this, the risk of holes in the floor was very hi-
“What!” I demanded as the lantern's dim glow revealed a pool of sloshing liquid in the middle of the air bubble.
“C-can’t b-b-be w-w-water,” Stick said worriedly.
“Pinkie, listen very carefully,” I warned, holding up one hoof. “The only thing that’s liquid at these temperatures is chlorine. Do not touch that stuff.”
Pinkie frowned worriedly and bent down, sniffing at the pool uncertainly. “No… This is water,” she said adamantly.
“It can’t be water,” I warned again. “Not unless it’s magic.”
“It’s kind of warm over here,” Pinkie reported. “I think it’s regular water.”
“D-d-ump- me in,” Stick begged.
I heard the distinct sound of a drop of liquid falling into a pool. Looking up, I was able to see a drop glitter in the lamplight as it fell from the ceiling into the pool. When I looked back down, to my intrigue, I could see small veins of red leaching away from the pool of liquid beneath the ice. That must be the superconductor. This pool of water had to be insanely magically charged.
“Not in your life! You hang on. I know the way back and we’ll get you out asap,” I promised.
"N-no!" Stick stammered. "Not S-s-sui-cidal. S-she-said-w-warm!"
Oh. Well, still no. Could be bottomless. Or Acid. Bottomless acid… Botcid.
“Magical water makes perfect sense to bring back as a part of the Elements,” Pinkie said as she dipped the bottle into the pool, careful not to touch it herself. “Do you think the mirror pool would work? That’s also magic water and it’s always warm! We could have saved a huge trip.”
“If it’s magic IN the water, that explains why Celestia insisted I couldn’t just blend mineral in the right ratio and make some then have you scoop it up,” I agreed, the superscientist in me intrigued by the anomaly.
Not the water being liquid at this temperature. Magic could do that. The intriguing question is, why water would be enchanted to remain warm at this-
A sharp crack echoed through the chamber as Pinkie pulled the bottle out from the pool. My eyes flew open with terror, my heart screaming terror at the thought of Pinkie falling through the ice. She remained still, tail raised in alarm.
The crack hadn’t come from the ice under her. But… Then where?
As I turned to make sure that our exit had not collapsed, the lantern grew brighter. The cold had made the old fashioned device burn much more dimly as it’s fuel failed to flow properly. Perhaps things were warming up?
Wait a second… The light reflecting off the walls wasn’t yellow. It was blue.
My watch chirped, making me jump a third of a meter into the air. While my heart beat at nineteen billion lightyears an hour, Dash’s voice crackled faintly over the speaker.
“Sky, it’s Dash. Help. Ponyville… Tartarus, breaking loose. Literally,” she moaned, sounding honestly hurt.
Oh, buck! That couldn’t be good. But I couldn’t exactly help this second.
“Sorry!” I apologise, meaning to tell her I’d be there as soon as I could. “Can’t talk now, kind of-”
“OH DEAR SWEET LUNA, IT’S ANGRY!” Pinkie screeched in blind terror.
For whatever reason, rather than looking back at Pinkie. I looked up.
I looked up into six blue glowing eyes formed from chunks of ice, which broke free from the ceiling as I looked up into their hate filled, cross-pupiled eyes. They broke free with a loud snap, all six of those malevolent pools of hatred were attached to a mound of ice in a circle around a gaping hole filled with sandpaper-like grit and fangs.
Fangs which began to spin around the edges of the walls like a wood chipper.
“FUCK EVERYTHING AND RUN!” I screamed, turning around to bolt down the passageway.
Pinkie bolted for the tunnel entrance, rushing past me in a blur and tucking the water bottle into her mane as she fled past me up the tunnel. Stick moved on my back, twisting to look up and scream as I launched forwards, sprinting after my wife with every ounce of energy I had.
The ceiling cracked again, this time accompanied by a huge crash which echoed off the tunnel walls deafeningly.
Stick squeaked in fright and clenched her legs around my back tightly. “It’s a huge worm!” She screeched, just before a sound like exploding glass blasted into me hard enough for me to FEEL the pressure wave.
“RUN! RUN! IT CAN EAT THROUGH THE ICE! RUN!” Stick squealed.
Her encouragement was unnecessary. My hooves could not possibly need any more reason to blast up the tunnel at top motherfucking speed.
I could see Pinkie just ahead of me, her tail flowing behind her horizontally, the emergency blanket likewise extended from her sheer speed. I could keep up with her, barely. The slick uneven floor forced my ankles to roll and slide. Traction was nearly meaningless.
The glass exploding sound of the beast behind us grew louder. The pale yellow light of Stick’s lantern vanished while she became nothing but dead weight on my back. Out cold. Lanturn dropped.
Only the light from the monster’s eyes to see ahead by.
"WHY AREN'T YOU USING YOUR TECH TO FIGHT IT?!" Pinkie sobbed in blind terror.
"I THOUGHT THIS WAS A FETCH QUEST!” I screamed back, heart starting to jackhammer against my barrel. “ I DIDN'T BRING SHIT FOR THIS! RUUUUUUN!!!!!"
“CALL SAI!” Pinkie begged.
Yes! Sai! Sai could teleport me some weapons. I could fight this! I could fight this! I could-
“ON IT!” I gasped.
“SAI! SAI FOR THE LOVE OF LUNA, ANSWER!” I yelled, knowing that my voice was enough to activate my watch.
“Hey boss, what’s up? You do know it’s my day off, right?” Sai asked irritably while the sound of shattering ice and the shriek of the monster's body against the tunnel shook the earth.
"SAI! I DON'T GIVE A SHIT IF IT'S YOUR DAY OFF! I NEED HELP RIGHT GODDAMN NOW!" I yelled, my right hind leg suddenly losing all traction, sending me skidding across the icy tunnel floor. “NOOOO!”
Oh god, I was dead! Oh god, oh god, oh god-
"Actually, I needed to talk to you,” Sai said reluctantly. “Something happe-"
The adrenal surge of a lifetime sent me rocketing back onto all fours and shooting up the tunnel. The ever brightening tunnel.
"NO FUCKING TIME! YOU SEND PINKIE DANGER, AND YOU FUCKING SEND IT, RIGHT FUCKING NOW!!" I ordered.
Oh. Yes. Good choice brain. Very good choice. That would help!
Sai sighed irritably. “I can’t the teleporters are on the fritz,” he said in the most bullshittium of ways he possibly could have.
The blue glow from the monster’s eyes brightened even more, then surged like somepony stuck an LED into a power main. The tunnel blazed bright white, blinding and searing pain lancing through my body from my eyes while the monster roared like a dying skill saw scraping against a blackboard.
“Guh! Boss, that power tool needs serious maintenance,” Sai spat in disgust. "Stop hurting the poor thing!"
“WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE TELEPORTS ON THE FRITZ!?" I demanded before crying out in pain as I ran shoulder first into the tunnel wall.
Gritting my teeth against the pain I ran along the wall, scraping the side of my suit while I used the tunnel wall as a guide.
Was pinkie still ahead of me? Please be ahead of me.
"I mean I’m not manning them at the moment," Sai explained. “It’s my day off.”
I felt my eyes start to work again in the same way I imagined you’d feel molten lead pour down your back. "FUUUUUUUU-”
“Okay, seriously, the fuck are you even doing?” Sai asked curiously, interrupting my rage/pain scream.
“Running! Eldritch Ice Horror!” Pinkie screamed from just in front of me.
She was still there! Thank Luna!
“Sai!” I demanded gasping through my starting to burn lungs. “You get your binary ass to that transporter and send me the biggest batch of not-die in my lab!"
"Well if you're gonna be like that, then I will take my day off seriously," Sai snorted in irritation.
The monster’s light began to flare again. I clenched my eyes shut tight as I could. No way in Tartarus was it blinding me again!
"SAI, I SWEAR TO FUCKING LUNA!" I beg-screamed.
"Have fun with the ice whore. Pinkie too. I’ll see you two later… Or will that be three? I’ll set the table for three. If you two are doing a three way and want to impress her with a mech she must be something special," Sai said decisively.
My watch emitted an old school analog phone hangup click. The ice monster roared again this time adding the sound of a dying pig to the mixture of pants darkening fear spewing from it’s maw.
"YOU SONUVABITCH, SAI!” I sobbed, gasping for air, legs starting to burn. “YOU CAN'T HANG UP, YOU'RE INTEGRATED INTO MY WATCH!"
My watch beeped loudly three times in a melodic sequence. A stock female processed voice followed the beeps to proclaim, "Ｔｈｅ ＡＩ ｙｏｕ ａｒｅ ｔｒｙｉｎｇ ｔｏ ｒｅａｃｈ ｉｓ ｕｎａｖａｉｌａｂｌｅ. Pｌｅａｓｅ ｈａｎｇ ｕｐ ａｎｄ ｔｒｙ ａｇａｉｎ ｌａｔｅｒ."
"RRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!" The monster screamed for me.
Pinkie shrieked in terror, suddenly slipping and going skidding on her belly across a dozen meters of ice-rink flat ice. I had to save her! I had to!
I gave my legs everything I had and rushed towards her, each hoof sliding and slipping over the insanely smooth surface. The insanely smooth surface above the other bubble. With the thinned roof. The thinned floor.
NO! NO! NO!
I grabbed Pinkie by her jacket and threw her across the floor, dumped Stick off my back and kicked her unconscious form as well. The two mares slid over the ground, stopping just as the monster reached the thinned patch. The ice splintered, shrieked, and with an ungodly roar collapsed under the weight of the monstrous creature.
The buckling floor broke apart too fast for me to run to the other side. The monster plunged down into the darkness with a screech. I opened my wings reflexively righting myself in the air, hovering over the chasm which had opened up below me and swallowed the ice worm.
Breathing heavily, I stared down into the pit, wincing as the creature's body smashed into the ground several seconds later. To my horror, the shadows covering the thing at the bottom of the pit stirred. A low moan whispered up from the depths, followed by the crunch of ice breaking. Then another. And another.
My eyes widened in horror. The shadows were eating the worm. The groaning creaking and moans of the shifting ice were louder now that the floor was gone entirely. And the words were clear.
“Yog… Sothoth…” It whispered almost silently. “Yog… Sothoth…”
I was completely unnerved at my proximity to a nameless thing at the bottom of a pit.
It was time to board the nope train to Fuckthatville. Before the other thing decided to awaken. The thing which was eating the first thing.
I slowly and carefully flew to the edge of the pit and landed next to Pinkie, who had pulled Stick further away from the edge.
“Nope,” I said simply.
“Nope!” Pinkie agreed.
I picked Stick up and set her on my back once more, and turned my suit’s lamp onto its dimmest setting possible. Only now realizing that the ice horror’s light still clung to the tunnel walls, providing the dimmest possible, haziest view of the path ahead.
“Nope,” I said again, and slowly, quietly, and stealthily crept up the tunnel towards the surface.
The Skyranger flew through the air once more, this time fully loaded. While my suit’s recordings of the day’s pants shitting fear fest had been grainy, spotty, and inconsistent they had been more than enough to convince Penny to pack her shit and get the fuck out.
The whole town was sitting down on the passenger deck. Full evacuation. The nope train was going to Trottingham.
If the Library wanted to keep mining that stuff they would need to send a different crew up there. And probably a platoon of battlemages.
Or maybe I should convince Captain Skritt to let me nuke the site from orbit. That would be the only way to be sure…
The cockpit door hissed open, snapping me free from my thoughts and practically magnetizing my eyes to the door. I let out a sigh of relief as Pinkie entered, the bottle of water held in her left hoof.
“Oh! Good… Sorry, Pinkie. Still a bit spooked,” I sighed, sitting back in my seat and quickly checking the autopilot.
Oh shit! Her hair was de-poofed! NOT GOOD!
“S-sky,” Pinkie said worriedly, sitting on the deck next to me to rest her head against my flank.
Oh shit. She was worried. Really really worried!
I wrapped a foreleg around her tightly. “It’s okay. We got away. We’re fine,” I promised.
“But what if that thing was there because the elements broke?” Pinkie asked looking up at me with wide wet eyes. “There could be one guarding everything everypony needs to get. My friends could be… They could be… I-”
Pinkie gulped, trying not to cry.
I narrowed my eyes. “Like fuck they could be!” I snapped, pushing my seat back and scooping Pinkie up into my lap to hold close. “Pinkie, you look at me. We know exactly where everypony except for Dash and Roboshy had to go. Dash is back by now for certain. But Original Fluttershy is still out there and… Going… To… Neighpone… Oh...”
Pinkie nodded. “Kaiju,” she whispered with a distressed whimper.
I felt my eyes narrow.
Reaching over to the control console with a wing I tapped the intercom. “Attention everyone. Find a seat and strap in. You have two minutes before I punch this thing up to full throttle. Our estimated time of arrival in Trottingham is changing to T-minus forty five minutes. Congrats, you get to tell your friends you’ve been to space. Cuz we’re going suborbital.”
I let go of the button and gave Pinkie a kiss. “Strap in too, love. We’ll need to refuel at the Phoenix after this burn, but then we’re going to intercept Fluttershy’s airship and make sure she gets things done safely. Then we’ll do the same for Rarity,” I promised.
Refueling wasn’t optional at all. The Skyranger had been kinda low at the start of the trip. More than enough to make it there and back but well, full speed suborbital flights do use a lot of fuel. I didn’t want to risk it.
“Pinkie promise?” Pinkie asked as she slid from my lap to buckle in.
I gave her another smile. “Sweetie, you know everything I ever say to you is a Pinkie Promise. We’ll get them. They will be safe.”
“W-what about Applejack?” Pinkie asked with another frown. “What if she’s missing because a monster got her?”
“She’s too stubborn to just lay down and die,” I said without a hint of sarcasm. “But if something did hurt her, and by proxy you, well… You remember what happened when that timberwolf broke your leg.”
Pinkie's hair re-poofed. I smiled at my job well done.
Nothing hurt my mare and got away with it. Nothing. Especially not that thing in the pit. I should convince Captain Skritt to let me nuke the site from orbit. That would be the only way to be sure…