A few seconds passed as the four parties readied themselves. Coughing smoke, the spell-injured Celestia and Sunset hauled each other to their knees. Cinch’s face passed through familiar expressions of rage, fists trembling as her thin patience gave way.
Atop the unicorn, Luna was more than happy to get a moment to recover. The three-story jump from the rooftop was gentler than it had any right to be, but her butt still hurt something fierce.
Finally, Cinch managed a low, strangled, “How?”
Luna sneered and kicked the unicorn to a charge. “Screw you.”
Its massive legs carried the unicorn from one car to the next, faster than even Luna could account for. The charge ended with a clumsy swing that only brought the back of the scythe blade into Cinch. The vampire rolled with the blunt hit, her cape transforming to bat wings as she took once more to the air.
“Stupid scythe,” Luna growled. She gave it an experimental swing rightwards and had to jerk away to keep balance. “Damn it, Zecora, anything else and I would have had her.”
A stirring on the ground brought her gaze downwards. “You okay, Tia?”
“Thanks to you.” Celestia smiled at her, causing Luna to blush and look away. Celestia rose and offered a hand to their third. “Sunset?”
“Fine,” Sunset managed. “What’s the plan?”
“Kill Cinch.” Luna smirked down at her, then turned. “Here she comes.”
The old principal descended with hellish speed, charging to knock Luna from the unicorn. A second scythe-swing forced her to veer off, though proved no more damaging than the first.
Undeterred, Cinch continued the charge into the wounded humans. A feral glee marked her face as she brushed past Sunset and came to her rival. A hand rose to smash open Celestia’s chest, but the raised pistol struck first. Two silver bullets pierced the clawed hand, doing little damage but causing Cinch to jerk back with a cry of pain.
A heartbeat passed, and the cry morphed to a roar. An unseen force with the sound of thunder shot out from Cinch, bowling the humans over and backwards. Sunset caught the corner of Cranky’s jeep and fell with a groan. Celestia fared better, though not by much – she curled around the precious phosphorus bomb and rolled into a tire, saving it from all but an ominous crack. The unicorn held its ground, but the already unbalanced Luna toppled from her perch.
“Enough of you children.” A façade of calmness came to Cinch as she stretched her fingers. The lightning this time was of sheer darkness as it shot to Celestia. Less pain than before, but more damage. Her skin and clothes ripped, and a nervous wobble came to her heart.
Cinch made to fire again, but a voice from behind interrupted her. “Forget something?”
“No,” Cinch sneered, turning to bat aside Luna’s third attempt. “You’re a child with a toy, that’s all.”
Her open palm struck Luna’s chest, sending the young woman staggering backwards. Cinch raised her fingers with a triumphant leer and unleashed her black lighting. A dozen bolts veered for Luna… then turned at the last moment to hit the scythe instead. Once-invisible runes flickered along its blade, leaving Luna untouched.
The last bolt turned to smoke as it struck the scythe. It shaped itself to a skeletal black arm, that pointed to Cinch as Luna reclaimed her footing.
Luna grinned fiercely. “Time to pay the reaper.”
Cinch sniffed. “I owe him nothing.”
They clashed again, with predictable results. Vampiric speed against a clumsy weapon resulted in Luna knocked backwards again. She clambered to her feet once more, slower than before. She was getting tired.
Celestia rose too, though the shocks had her heart fluttering and in pain. The phosphorus bomb was in her hand. Cinch’s back was turned.
Her eyes met Luna’s, very briefly. The blue sister gave no sign of acknowledgement as she helped herself up with the butt of the scythe.
Nothing else for it. Celestia whipped the bomb at Cinch.
Cinch spun. Caught it in her outstretched hand, and leered at Celestia. “Oh, my. Was this your last trump?”
She was speaking, not listening. Luna led with the back end of the scythe, giving balance and heft as she swung it like a baseball bat for the precious jar. The scythe connected, and an instant later the bomb was no more. The liquid inside erupted, nearly too bright to see as it followed the momentum into the vampire principal. Noise like a hammer on sand marked the flash explosion of her side.
“NO!” Cinch staggered, and black smoke curled around the wounds.
Luna gave her no time. She reversed the scythe, now leading with the point. The immobile Cinch offered no defense as it pierced what was left of her chest. The tip met the heart, and Cinch gave one violent spasm before exploding into dust.
Dust that immediately shot to the back of Luna’s mouth. She dropped the scythe and doubled over, hacking violently and spitting out the remains of their enemy.
Across the parking lot, groans and stumbles marked the end of the mob. The infected students collapsed together, some coughing or babbling randomly before reaching the ground.
The gym door slammed open, accompanied by a voice from inside. “Fluttershy, wait! It’s too dangerous!”
“They might be hurt!” The yellow girl dashed from the building, followed some steps later by her bat-armed friends. She picked quickly through the fallen mob, scanning for anyone who seemed more hurt than the rest.
One such student was quieter than her groaning peers. Sour Sweet stared to where Cinch died as Fluttershy lifted her gently by the shoulders, pressing a cold pack to the beanbag welt on her face. “Sour Sweet, are you okay?”
The words seemed to bring the girl to the present, and she beamed a freckled smile at Fluttershy. “Me? I’m just peachy!”
Her smile maintained, and she offered nothing more. The Rainbooms let a few seconds pass before Applejack asked the obvious. “And?”
“And what?” Sour Sweet tilted her head, but her bright smile remained.
Rarity gave a tittering laugh. “Usually you, ah, follow your pleasant offerings with a bit of sarcastic wit.”
“Oh.” Sour Sweet blinked and shook her head, turning her gaze back to the battleground. “Not this time. I’m peachy. One-hundred percent.”
“Really,” Rainbow asked dubiously.
“Are you kidding!” Sour Sweet rocketed upwards, bumping her head against Fluttershy and almost getting five bat-swings for her trouble. But instead of biting, she just grinned even wider and pointed. “Did you see that? Did you see that!? Your vice principal just rode to battle on an honest-to-goodness unicorn!”
“I saw them leap from the rooftop!” Sugarcoat squealed as she reclaimed her feet. “Miss Luna was screaming her battle cry!”
A last cough let Luna regain her voice, though not much volume. “Actually that was a regular, old-fashioned scr–”
“And the scythe!” Pinkie cheered, now bouncing on her heels with an equally-giddy Adagio. “We were watching from the gym! How cool was that?”
“Best principal EVAH!” Sonata shrieked.
Flash Sentry gave a chuckle from the doorway. “Heh. ‘I am the Night.’”
“Trixie wants to be her.”
A clenched, beefy fist raised from a prone teacher. “When Luna rides, THE VAMPIRE DIES!”
“I love her hair,” Blueblood whispered.
“Are you all forgetting the best part?” Redheart’s shrill voice blew out as she clambered onto a car. “Luna hit the vampire, and it exploded!”
Luna pointed dumbly to her sister, voice drowned by the cheering mob. “It didn’t… I mean, if Tia hadn’t…”
“Lulu.”
The voice caused Luna’s eyes to follow her finger. Celestia sat propped against the jeep, left hand clutching a lightning burn on her shoulder. Her face was a kindly smile, though an eyebrow betrayed it – raised upwards, high enough to unveil the good humor within.
“You deserve it,” Celestia said quietly. Luna made to protest, but the mob engulfed her. They carried her towards the gym, tossing her up and shouting her name.
Celestia hissed as an errant twitch shot pain through her chest. She closed her eyes with the wince, but a new sound opened them just as quickly. Somehow both heavy and gentle, the grey unicorn’s hoofsteps drew it towards her. A soft white glow surrounded its horn, chasing away the pain and injury as it touched her shoulder.
It was not a creature of lengthy affection. The unicorn gave a brief nuzzle of Celestia’s cheek, then moved to heal the fallen Sunset. Once that was done, it turned away and began trotting through the parking lot. The steps brought it to a dark skinned woman, leaning against Celestia’s car. Zecora gave a wave, and a smile that seemed both mocking and friendly. She hoisted the scythe, swept onto the unicorn, and kicked the beast into a gallop away.
Celestia did not rise immediately. She closed her eyes, exhausted by the crisis and thankful for its end.
She felt, rather than saw, Sunset scooch closer. Her pink arm wrapped around the teen’s shoulder, and Sunset leaned into the hug.
“You okay?” Celestia murmured.
“That was close,” Sunset whispered. “She really wanted us dead, and… I thought it was gonna happen. If Luna hadn’t have shown up…”
“Shush, you.” Celestia squeezed her a little tighter. “We’re alright.”
That at least chased a little fear out of Sunset’s voice, though it was replaced by authority. “Mom?”
“Yes?”
“I want ice cream.”
Celestia’s eyes blinked open. She looked to Sunset, seeing no trace of a joke on her face.
Celestia smiled weakly. “Sweetie, it’s January.”
“Yeah, but I want ice cream.”
Celestia gave a soft laugh, and her daughter cracked a grin. They rose together, still arm-in-arm. “Alright. We’ll get ice cream.”
“Thanks.” Sunset gave a distracted glance to the sounds of celebration from the gym. “But is this okay? What about the brain worms? And Dean Cadence?”
Celestia smiled contentedly and slid out her phone. “Cadence will fare same as the students. Brain worms can’t survive in our world without a source of black magic. When they died, everyone lost consciousness for a few seconds as their minds filled in the void.”
Sunset made a face. “So, what? They’re all stuck with dead brain worms in their system?”
Celestia paused her stride to tap the phone. “Just telling Luna… ah, yes and no, Sunset. The worms are still there, but the human body purges them very quickly.”
She winced, sucking in a slow breath. “Very quickly.”
“Huh?” Sunset blinked, looking quizzically at her.
“I learned this last time.” Celestia closed her eyes. “Diarrhea.”
“Oh.”
“Yes.” Celestia’s smile was a wincing one. “Copious amounts, over the next twenty-four hours.”
“Wow.” Sunset walked on another step, then gave a dry chuckle. “Crystal Prep’s going to be terrible tomorrow.”
She startled. “Wait, here’s going to be terrible! They got all but like forty of us!”
“I know.” Celestia’s words came out pained. She shook her head hard and resumed the march forwards. “But that’s tomorrow’s problem. Today I am getting ice cream with my beautiful daughter, and then we will get seconds.”
Luna stood paralyzed at the gym entrance. Inside, the ceiling had been painted her skin tone and decorated with a motif of the night sky. A giant poster covered each of the short walls: one her school photo, and the other of her charging into battle atop the unicorn. Students wore wigs of her hair that doubled as rally rags as they gathered around the dance floor and snack tables.
“Pinkie Pie,” Luna growled.
Deep blue curtains backed the center stage, with a spotlight-lit podium sitting there. Any doubts as to its purpose were settled by the large banner strung behind saying, “Our hero, Luna! The best principal ever!”
Luna entered, and was the immediate center of attention. Students of both schools cheered and crowded around each other to flash pictures and shout her name. Luna ignored them, reluctantly guided by velvet fences to the stage.
A quick check of her phone revealed a text from Celestia. “Sunset’s a little shaken. I’m taking her out for ice cream.”
“Best principal,” Luna whispered with a little smile.
Drawing near, she saw a tan-skinned woman crouched beneath the podium, arranging the wires with her one good hand. A last plug left her satisfied, and she stood away from it and traded a cool glance with Luna.
Luna gave an unenthused wave. “Hi, Nagatha. You think I’m awesome, too?”
“Of course not.” The older woman raised her nose. “This cancels nothing of what I told you on the roof. But by all means: enjoy the cheap fame from your accidental victory.”
Harshwhinny held out the microphone. Luna watched it for a few seconds before accepting, blowing out a sigh. “I’m not.”
An arched eyebrow prompted her to continue. Luna gave a limp chuckle and gazed away. “Help me out here. I’m the big damn hero who saved the day, and everybody knows it. So why am I… like, really actively ambivalent to all this? Like I’m annoyed and impatient and just want it to be over?”
Harshwhinny scoffed. “Impatient for what?”
A second’s thought, and the answer proved obvious. “Tia and Sunset got the shit kicked out of them back there. They’re going out for ice cream, and I want to go too.”
“And miss your own party?” Harshwhinny asked drolly.
She flinched back, just a little, as Luna locked the gaze. “In a heartbeat.”
Harshwhinny scratched the sling of her broken arm, dodging a stare for the first time Luna could remember. She looked down, then over to the crowd roaring for a speech.
Then she arched her nose once more. “That was unprofessional of her. The fewer hands we have, the harder the cleanup will be.”
“Yeah,” Luna said. Then, with a wheedling smile, “Want me to go bring her back?”
Harshwhinny returned with a flat glare. “Can you be trusted to do so?”
“Not in the slightest.”
Smile growing, Luna proffered the microphone. Harshwhinny made no move to accept, and ten seconds of impasse creaked between them as the surrounding party went on.
With a fluid motion and aggrieved sigh, Harshwhinny snatched the microphone. “You owe me.”
“Never change,” Luna said, already turning away.
“I can’t say the same for you,” Harshwhinny muttered as she faced the podium. “Now excuse me.”
Luna dashed, giving none of it a second look as Nagatha’s stern voice boomed out over the speakers. “Children, we have much to do, so this is how things will be. Work crews will be organized by homeroom. Homeroom A-1 will assist Miss Redheart in triaging injuries. Homeroom A-2 will begin tallying personal belongings left in the halls. Homeroom A-3 will return the gym gear to its proper storage. Homeroom A-4 will dismantle the party equipment and remove these silly posters from MISS DAZZLE, YOU GET BACK HERE THIS INSTANT OR IT’S DETENTION FOREVER!”
“Guys!” Luna sped through the parking lot, calling at the top of her lungs. “Wait up!”
Celestia had left the driveway, but her car was on the street by the school. It pulled over, and a lowered window revealed Sunset’s questioning look.
Luna threw open the back door and clambered in. “I’m coming with.”
“Luna?” Celestia asked.
“Keep driving, sis.” Luna pulled the door shut and sat up in her chair. She leaned forwards, wrapping her arms around Sunset in the passenger seat. “You did good, kid.”
Sunset blushed and grinned. “Not as good as you.”
“Yeah, but that’s just because Deus Ex Zecora showed up at the last minute.” Luna rubbed Sunset’s head roughly, causing the girl to laugh and pull away. “Anyway, where are we going?”
“Donut Joe’s,” Celestia said from the driver’s side. “It’s the only place I know that does ice cream all year.”
Luna nodded. “Plus, he totally owes us for that one time with the ants.”
Sunset grimaced. “We’re going to a place with ants?”
Celestia gave a brief smile, eyes on the road. “200-pound ants, burrowing up from the earth. Don’t worry, we haven’t seen any in months.”
“Days,” Luna corrected. “Iron Will bumped into one in the next building over.”
The car slowed, just a little bit. Celestia’s mouth moved in an “Oh,” shape without making the word. She got a hold of herself, smiling kindly to Sunset. “Um, if you’re scared, we can go somewhere else.”
Sunset laughed and put her feet on the dashboard. “What’s there to be scared of? I got a rocket launcher.”
Celestia pushed the gas, bringing the car back to its former speed. She took one hand from the wheel and set it on her daughter’s shoulder. “That’s my girl.”
Then, a moment later, she reached forward and slapped a yellow knee. “Legs down, Sunset.”