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// Progress Report Week 49 
// Story: A Muffin For Muffins 
// by BatwingCandlewaxxe 
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Progress Report Week 49
Muffins died.  Twilight wanted to perform a necropsy to see how bad the damage is, and investigate some possible avenues to reverse or at least stabilize the degenerative process.  I resisted at first, but she was right.  We... I... need to know.  I helped with the necropsy even though I felt like breaking out in tears the entire time.  Afterwards, I buried Muffins in the garden behind the castle.  I left a muffin on her grave, not really sure why, it just seemed appropriate.  Maybe some of the wild mice will eat it.  A nice treat for them in her memory.  All of Princess Twilight's inner circle stopped by to offer condolences, even Rainbow Dash.  They were very sweet, but I hardly heard any of it I was so lost in grief.  I would have completely lost control of myself had it not been for Rosie.  I will write them a more suitable expression of my gratitude as soon as I am able to compose myself adequately.

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My mind is rapidly degenerating, more rapidly than it improved.  I can't research the UToM anymore.  I can't understand half of it, can barely even remember what I was trying to do with it.  All that work, and I am now too stupid to keep up with where and who I was even a few weeks ago.  Twilight says she can see where I am trying to go, understands the avenues I was purusing, and will continue my research as closely as she can; Sunset and Sigil say they will help with it.  She said I'll even be listed as the primary author, since I've done all the hard work already, but I told her she's being too kind.  There's still a lot left to prove, and I'll never have the oportunity now.  I saw tears on her face, though she tried to hide them.  I think she feels responsible, but she shouldn't.  That flaw was far too well hidden.  Meadowbrook was an idiot.  A dangerous idiot.  My head hurts again.

Rosie stays with me a lot.  Several nights a week.  I told her that wasn't necessary, that she has her own life, and her Pasture, but she insists.  She seems so sad.  Pasture has been very understanding and suportive.  He can see how much we mean to each other, and says he considers me her family as well.  He is very sweet, I really hope things work out for them.  I'm so sad I'll never get to see them finally tie the knot, if they manage to do so.  He might have made a good big brohter.  She's so good to me, even when I'm being waspish and abrasive from the pain.  I can see that it affects her, but she never lets it get in the way of supporting and comforting me.  She's the most wonderful pony I've ever known, aside from my mom.

I'm sleeping a lot more now, six to seven hours a night.  Partly as a side effect of migraine treatments, partly due to the fatigue from all the work I'm doing, partly due to my brain degeneration.  At least I can still multi-focus, that's helpful.  Another seizure this week, but not as bad as the previous one, didn't need to be hospitalized this time.