Sunset Shimmer is MAD about EVERYTHING

by Justice3442

Chapter 16: Just When You Thought You Were Out…

Chapter 16: Just When You Thought You Were Out…

With a dismayed look on her face, Twilight Sparkle stared down at the pile of crystal shards which sat sharp and lifeless on the floor. “Any ideas?” she asked her orange alicorn compatriot, who likewise had her eyes pointed downwards.

“I’m open to trying the legume adhesive idea if you are,” Sunset Shimmer replied.

Twilight furrowed her brow at Sunset. “You want to try to hold the crystal heart, the Crystal Empire’s most sacred magical artifact, together with ‘peanut glue’,” Twilight spat out.

“Not ‘want to’,” Sunset clarified. “I just said I was ‘open to the idea’.”

“I have an idea! A sunny, bursty idea!”

Twilight and Sunset stifled groans as Starlight trotted over, both alicorns doing their best to cheerfully receive the clearly inebriated mare.

“Hello, Starlight,” Twilight greeted.

“Heya, Starry,” Sunset said. “I see you’re… over here now.”

“Oh, I am so here, you two don’t even know!” Starlight said, her words full of confidence and also alcohol… mostly alcohol.

Twilight and Sunset’s ears wilted slightly.

“Oh, I’m sure we’ll figure that out soon enough…” Sunset bemoaned.

“Sorry, girls,” Spike called out as he followed behind Starlight. “I kinda had to corral her away from Cadance so she could keep her shield up around the baby.”

Starlight pursed her lips into a sour expression. “Yeah! I was trying to talk to her about Sunburst and she started crying about how she was going to freeze to death with her baby and being a really big whiner in general.”

Twilight and Sunset exchanged concerned glances.

Starlight continued. “I mean, come on! Life isn’t fair! Pfffft…” She said as threw her eyes up in no direction in particular. She began to speak in a high-pitched, mock, whiney tone, “‘Oh, the temperature is dropping and who knows how many ponies might die in the storm and how am I going to keep the baby and myself alive with all this snow coming inside?!’ It’s like… We all have problems, you know?” she said with a look at Sunset and Twilight as if she was expecting confirmation of her last statement.

Sunset swallowed and nodded. “Yes, but in this case, that’s kind of all our problem.”

Twilight glanced at Sunset. “Maybe one of us should try to make Cadance feel better?”

On it~!” Pinkie’s voice sang out.

“I’m knitting the warmest baby-cozy I can!” Rarity added.

“Okay, well that’s at least one distraction down,” Sunset said.

Twilight looked up at the large clumps of snow that had begun to invade the library. “Maybe I can put up a barrier to keep the storm out.”

Sunset narrowed her eyes. “Gee, that sure is a great idea that I had back when the shield master was still here!”

Twilight met Sunset’s dirty look with a filthy glower of her own. “You were the one who green-lit him going out and evacuating everypony!”

“I was preoccupied getting unstuck from you!” Sunset fired back. “Also your brother was being a little whiner about it!”

Twilight seemed to mull this over slightly. “Yes, that’s fair. Look, I’ll put up the barrier and…” As discreetly as possible, Twilight wrapped a forearm around Sunset’s neck and telekinetically pulled over Spike who let out a surprised yelp as he was suddenly pulled into an impromptu huddle. “… And you and Spike can try to see if… er… Nightshine Twinkle can help.”

“… Okay, I’m going to assume you don’t mean ‘me or you’ there since we’re having this conversation, but—” Sunset put on a big smile that simultaneously tried to convey that Sunset was ‘willing’ but hardly ‘raring’ “—are you sure you don’t want to help with Dusky Glisten?”

“You and Spike seem to have quite the rapport with her.” Twilight rolled her eyes. “With you all being part of the big ‘no parents’ club and all.”

Sunset and Spike’s eyes shot open wide as they both pulled out of the huddle.

“Twilight,” Spike cried out, “I can’t believe you just said that…” His eyes began to fill with tears.

Sunset glared at Twilight and wrapped a comforting wing around Spike. “Yeah, me either. Sorry you’re jealous about us not growing up with parents, princess,” Sunset spat out. “But that was pretty low.”

“Wait… what happened?” Starlight asked in confusion.

Sunset threw a forehoof in the air. “Twilight’s apparently feeling left out on account of all the parents who know and love her!”

Twilight closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “I’m sorry,” she said earnestly. “That was uncalled for. I know it’s no excuse, but today’s been pretty stressful in general culminating in our possible imminent death and I lashed out where I sho—”

“I can fix the no ‘no parents’ thing, pretty easily,” Starlight said.

Everypony went stone-cold silent as they turned to stare at Starlight.

“… Starlight,” Sunset said in a somewhat disbelieving tone, “did you just offer to kill Twilight’s parents?”

“Well… no…” Starlight said.

“Good, because—”

“I mean, if we’re going to immediately take death off the table. I could just transport them to another dimension that we couldn’t get them out of for a while…”

One of Spike’s claws shot up. “I vote we abort this conversation.”

“Agreed!” Twilight and Sunset said in unison.

Twilight looked upwards as the snow continued to pile in. “Barrier!” she said, glancing at Sunset momentarily before looking back upwards. Her horn began to shine with amethyst energy and a globe-like shield extended upwards.

“Right!” Sunset said.

“Starlight?” Spike said as he looked at Sunset and pointed a claw over his shoulder at the wobbly unicorn.

Sunset sighed and turned to Starlight. “Right…” she said unenthusiastically.

“Sunburst!” Starlight said with a wide smile.

“Uh, maybe?” Sunset offered.

“Come on, Sunset!” Starlight implored. “He’s got wizardness coming out of his wazoo!”

“I don’t think I have any method of verifying that…” Sunset said. “Nor would I want to!”

“Seriously! You have no idea just what a whiz of a wiz Sunburst is!”

Sunset looked over at the lonely-looking book fort with the odd sad sob that would occasionally come out from it. “I’m afraid I’m still not entirely sure I can be convinced Sunburst is a whiz of a wiz if ever a whiz of a wiz there was.”

Starlight began to sniffle and look at Sunset with big, pleading amethyst eyes. “But… but… WIZARD!”

Sunset let out a heavy groan. “You’re impossible to talk to like this.”

“Well, why don’t you try to sober her up?” Spike suggested.

Sunset frowned slightly at Spike. “Clock’s running a bit fast for a pot of black coffee there, Spike.”

“Sure but… How about you use magic?”

“Oh!” Sunset said. “Uh…” She looked around the library. “Well, I don’t know a spell for that offhand… er… offhoof and we need to find a spell to fix the Crystal Heart…”

“Maybe Sunburst knows a spell that could help with Starlight!”

“YES!” Starlight exclaimed as she wrapped her forelegs around Spike and picked him up into a tight hug.

“… You think?” Sunset said.

Ooff…” Spike uttered as Starlight released her grip and he fell to the ground. He picked himself back up. “Well, Sunburst and her were drinking and Sunburst did seem to know an awful lot of spells…”

Sunset looked over at the book fort. “Hey, Sunburst! Do you know a spell that can sober up a pony?”

There was a pause. “… No,” Sunburst answered flatly.

Starlight whimpered as Spike and Sunset hung their heads.

“Well, it was worth a shot,” Sunset said.

“There’s like… several DOZEN spells that do that!” Sunburst clarified. “Those old unicorn wizards REALLY liked their wine… Which ones did you want to know more about?!”

“Yes!” Starlight cried out victoriously.

Sunset smiled as she trotted over to the fort. “Spike, I’m not sure how we get anything done without you.”

Spike grinned to himself and shrugged. “Eh, it’s kinda my super power.”

Sunset trotted up to the book fort. “Alright, book-forty… I need something that’ll sober up Starlight quick and leave her coherent enough that she can help us and we can hopefully not all die of exposure.”

Tipsy Tip’s Tome of Thirst Quenching Thaumatology should have what you’re looking for… It’s, er, part of the foundation…”

“… The foundation of what? Magic spells to get blasted drunk?”

“Well, uh, yes! Though, I meant it’s literally part of the foundation of this book fort, excuse the pun.”

Awww…” Sunset uttered disappointedly as she began scanning the bottommost plane of books. “Mom would have loved that pun… Found it.”

“Okay, just make sure you find something to repla—Ah!” The book fort suddenly collapsed in on itself as Sunset took up the book with a turquoise glow. “Ow…” Sunburst uttered from the center of the book pile.

“Sunset, what the heck?!” Starlight exclaimed.

“We’re in a hurry!” Sunset said as she floated the book up in front of her and started magically going through the pages. “Spike, could you dig Sunburst out?”

Spike strolled past Sunset saluting as he did. “On it. Digging ponies out of piles of collapsed book structures is also a super power of mine!”

Sunset smirked and glanced at Twilight. “Oh, really…” she purred.

“Hehehe… Yeah,” Spike said as began pulling books from the pile and neatly stacking them. “You see Twilight—”

“Less embarrassing me, more SAVING everypony!” Twilight called out in a slightly haggard tone. “With the storm I can’t hold this barrier up forever, or even all that long, really!”

Sunset aimed her smirk at Spike. “Tell me later, alright.”

“Done and done!” Spike said as he pulled out another book.

Sunset flipped through a few more pages and looked down at the book floating in front of her. “Hey, Starlight?”


“Taste sobriety!” Sunset exclaimed as she fired off a pulsating turquoise beam from her horn.

“Ghuh!” Starlight cried as the beam hit her. Starlight’s entire body shone briefly with Sunset’s magical energy before it quickly abated. Starlight shook her head as her eyes started to noticeably focus better than they had been moments before. “Whoa… What a rush…”

Sunset cocked her head slightly. “You done with the rampant drunkenness there, Starry?”

“Yeah, sorry… My head was a bit foggy there… It’s cleared up quite a bit.”

Sunset nodded. “Good, because we could really use your—”

Starlight gave Sunset a very serious look. “Go get Sunburst to help you, right now, or I’ll blow this whole empire off the map… And I don’t just mean the map in Twilight's castle, either.”

“Whoa. What the heck?!” Spike exclaimed as a couple of orange legs with white fetlocks poked out from the book pile.

“—help!” Sunset called out to Twilight.

“I’m just trying to keep the storm out and us all alive!” Twilight said. “You better at least try what she’s suggesting!”

“Pretty sure it was less a suggestion and more an ultimatum, Twilight!”

Starlight lowered her eyes slightly as her horn began burn with a sky blue aura. “I can’t help but noticed you haven’t asked for Sunburst’s help since I threatened to blow up this empire made out of brittle crystal a few seconds ago.” The intensity of her horns glow increased as a dangerous sounding ‘hum’ resonated from it. “Seriously, one sonic-vibration spell and everything goes!”

“But… but…” Sunset scowled at Starlight. “Do you realize that means the whole castle would come down on top of us? You and Sunburst included?”

“Are you suggesting I haven’t thought this all the way through? You should know by now that won’t stop me.”

Sunset pondered this for a moment. “Good point… But uh… How about you help us fix this crystal and then we can talk about Sunburst’s possibly great wizard skills?”

“Sorry Sunset,” Starlight replied, “but breaking things is more my speed.”

“Huh… I can respect that.”

Starlight lowered her head slightly while maintaining eye contact with Sunset, the brightness of her horn and the volume of the humming increased. “Tick-tock, by the way.”

“Alright, already!” Sunset replied, her wings suddenly thrown up in the air in exasperation. Sunset turned and looked at her wings. “Wow! I didn’t… I didn’t even try to do that!”

“Uh… Sunset?” Spike said as he walked up.

“Right, sorry,” Sunset said as she focused her attention on the book fort. “I forgot how scatterbrained ponies can be, and it seems that doesn’t go away just because one spends a few years as a human.” Sunset turned and glowered at Starlight. “You know, for the record, you could have asked nicely or even pathetically and I probably would have asked Sunburst for help.”

The light from Starlight’s horn faded. “Oh well…” She put on a pair of sad eyes. “Sunset Sh-shimmer? My dear, dear, friend… Sunburst’s talents have been languishing unused and unappreciated for so long, and I thought that maybe, just maybe—”

“Ugh! Forget it, you already threatened us all with slightly more imminent death!” Sunset turned. “Sunburst! We need your help!”

“I’m, uh, right here behind Spike,” Sunburst said.

“Right, sorry,” Sunset said. “Didn’t realize Spike was so good at digging ponies out of book piles.”

Spike chuckled. “I told you. Lots of practice moving stories and lots of stories to share regarding that topic.”

Twilight let out an irritated grunt. “Tick-tock, tick-tock, everypony!”

“Right!” Sunset exclaimed. She floated over the book she and Twilight were using earlier. “Twilight and I tried this, but—”

“The spell of Relic Reconstitution,” Sunburst finished. “No, that won't do it.” He said, shaking his head. “The Crystal Heart's been around for millennia. Restoring a relic like this is way beyond one spell. You need to combine it with something else. Something unique to the relic itself. Something that strengthens it and provides it with power...?” he said, trailing off expectantly.

“Like a fruity-tooty breakfast smoothie!” Pinkie chirped happily.

Sunset shot the pink pony a smoldering glare. “That doesn’t make any sense, Pinkie!”

“I know,” Pinkie replied, “but I’ve only gotten one line this chapter. Speaking of speaking, say something, Rarity!”

“Ummmm… I err… Uh…..”

“Good job, Rarity!” Pinkie bubbled. “Cadance?”

“I would really appreciate it if my home wasn’t full of snow and also that we all don’t die if it’s not too much trouble!”

“Working on it!” Sunset called back. She turned towards Sunburst. “So we need to perform the Crystalling?”

Sunburst nodded. “We’re also going to need another spell book.”

Sunset looked around at the library with its shelves upon shelves of books. “Alright, well, do you know—?”

“Oh, it wouldn’t be here,” Sunburst said.

Sunset cocked her head at Sunburst. “How could you possibly know that?”

“Oh!” Twilight exclaimed excitedly. “Maybe he knows every single book that’s in the library,” she suggested.

“What? No,” Sunburst answered. “It’s not here because I’m the pony who checked it out.”

“Oh…” Twilight replied sheepishly.

“Yaaaaaaay!” Starlight exclaimed. “Sunburst is going to save everypony!”

Sunset glanced at Starlight then frowned as she looked up at one of the many holes in the library as snow whipped at Twilight’s amethyst-tinted shield. “If you checked out the book, that means…”

Sunburst nodded. “I need to retrieve the book,” he said. “From my house.”

“Which is outside,” Sunset sighed.

“Yay?” Starlight said.

Spike chimed in, “Don’t we need to get a bunch more ponies for the Crystalling, too? I mean… guessing we at least need Shining Armor.”

“… Yay…” Starlight murmured somewhat insincerely.

“Alright,” Sunset said resolutely, “guess we need to figure out a new plan and get the Crystal Heart shards back to the Heart’s pedestal.”

“Why’d you all take them into the library, anyway?” Starlight asked.

Sunset wrinkled her muzzle in annoyance, “Because I pointed out leaving the small, light shards unattended in a ‘room’ only separated from the elements by a bunch of curtains was probably not a great idea.”

“I, um, fair point…”

Floating the shards and the book behind her, Sunset began to trot towards the library’s entrance. “Alright, everypony let’s move out!” she shouted.

Almost everypony converged on Sunset, Cadance’s marshmallow and stitched together shield around the baby failing right before Sunset threw up a barrier of her own around the baby, floated it towards her, and began making faces at the baby who giggled and cooed in delight in response.

“Uh, Sunset?” Spike said. “We’re missing a pony…”

Sunset looked around at the group that was making their exit and did note the absence of one pony. “Twilight?!” she called into the library. “We need to leave. We’ve got everything from the library that’s going to be of any use!”

“Buuuut, buuut…. Booooooooks!” Twilight wailed.

“It’s you or the books, Twilight!” Sunset called back.



“I’m thinking!”