Opening Theme:
So here you are, having the living daylights squeezed out of you by the pegasus who is simultaneously one of your best friends, and worst enemies. Though even when you were enemies, you don't think he's ever hurt you as he is now. Your ribs feel like they're going to crack.
Kichi's Comment
You try as hard as you can to get free of him, but his grip is like iron. Frustrated, you turn your head to the departing train as it disappears into the distance.
Your ears wilt as you realize that that was the only train back to Appleloosa for a good long while. Thanks to Twilight's meddling, you are in fact not leaving anytime soon.
Crafty witch.
"Nooo. I was supposed to be on that train!!!" you "shout" in a low voice as you can't get air from the hug.
"Baker! I thought you were dead! I knew a month ago you weren't, but I couldn't tell anypony! It's so good to see you again!" he joyously cheers.
"Come back train...come back..." you weakly mutter as you reach out a hoof to the train, right before it disappears completely.
And like that...It's gone, you think in sadness.
Kill Him! Maim Him! Destroy the waifu stealer!
Ugh! Why can't we drug these voices to high heaven? Selena moans.
A bit peeved that your way home was blocked, AGAIN. A part of you considers listening to the voices, but you shake off that thought. Even if it did screw up your plans, this guy is a bro. And you will be damned if you break the bro code.
BrownDog's Comment
After surviving a lot of hugs, and a tear stained panama hat, you finally get Flash under control. Seeing as how you’re still getting amused stares from the town, you take him away from prying eyes into an alley way.
“Flash buddy, it’s great to see you and all, but for crying out loud, calm down.”
“A-a-alright bro. I’m sorry, I just didn’t expect to see you so soon. Your bounty hunter brother told me you were in Neighsa.”
“Ah, so you met my brother eh?” you say sounding surprised.
“Heck ya I did. We were both at ground zero for the Beigh v. Shamalamadingdong fight, taking on some Crimson Knights. Why didn’t you ever tell me you had a brother?”
“It never came up before,” you say.
“How? I told you all about my little brother and then I asked you if you had any siblings way back when.”
“Well…the truth is, he and I were kind of strained, but we’ve made up a bit. He invited me and Nightshade to come settle down with him. He said he had a lot of bits, and would make sure nopony would try to harm us.”
“Oh, right. Well he was a pretty cool guy, and it meant the world to me when he told me about you not being dead. The minute I found that burnt piece of scarf…I felt terrible man.”
He then pulls out from his saddle bags the burnt scrap of scarf he found that day.
“I kind of held onto this, at first to remember you by, but then after I met your brother, I knew I had to give you at least something back. I know how much you loved this thing.”
“Yeah…I did,” you say as you accept the burnt scrap of what was once your amazing and awesome scarf.
“Thank you Flash, and I gotta say, it really is good to see you too.”
“Yeah, I know it is,” he says with a smirk. “Keep that in mind while I do this,” he says.
“When you do wha- *PUNCH* OW!” you cry out as he sucker punches you right in the mouth.
“What the buck Flash?”
“That’s for making me, all those poor stalkers, and most of this town sad for making them think you were dead!” he chides.
“Oh for Pete’s Sake! I already went through this like two weeks ago. I got enough punches and smacks for my mistake,” you whine.
He then picks you up from the ground.
“Yeah, I figured, but I had to get my two bits in,” he smiles and you roll your eyes.
“Anyway, now that I’m here, let’s go get Twilight and the girls, and we can hang out and catch up. I took a couple of days off of work to come here,” he beams.
“Well, bad news there Flashy, Twilight and them went off to the Crystal Empire literal minutes before you arrived.
His eyes widen at that.
“Seriously?” he asks.
“Eyup. They went to kiss some Games Committee agent’s butt in order for the Equestria Games to be hosted there.”
His ear wilts at that.
“Oh. Well she didn’t say anything about that in her letter,” he says as he pulls it out. “I kind of thought, well, you know, that we’d all be able to hang out…” he says a bit sadly.
Smirking, you say,
“Oh, what’s this? Are you upset a mare ditched you to hang out with her friends?”
He looks up startled at that.
“What?!”
“Oh I get it, she’s…adorkable I guess you could say,” you tease.
“I-I-I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he says with shifty eyes and a blush.
“No no, to each his own. Although I think it’s kind of dangerous, ya know, since she is your boss’s little sister,”
“Shut up! I wasn’t thinking anything like that I swear,” he says with eyes darting in fear as his cheeks turn redder.
“Not to mention she’s absolutely insane on some days, but if you like the librarian type who am I to-*MMPH!*” he suddenly puts his hoof in your mouth and whispers.
“Shut up! You never know when THEY might be listening!”
As soon as he says that, you hear from out on the street.
“Oh just shut up already! I’ll gladly kill the waifu thief, I think he’s after my future husband!...How about instead of shouting you actually give directions?!”
Both of you look in fear down the alley way.
“That was the voices!”
“That was Aloe!”
You and him then look at each other before you both nod, and decide to flee the area.
A Brave Flight Later
After getting a good distance away, you tell Flash that Twilight and the gals should be back later tonight (which puts him at ease) and that until then you two can catch up. If your escape plans are going to be ruined, you might as well not waste a Bro-Day.
You let him know about how he’s probably only down here thanks to Twilight’s scheming, and how you won’t be here forever. She’s just dead set on you meeting the princesses.
He lets you know about how he wishes your brother would accept the reward himself.
“Yeah, not only do you get a medal, but a job. That Aqua lady, she got inducted into a program that’s even more mysterious than mine. Kind of a shame though, I’d hoped to get to work with her again. She was cool."
You smile at that because Aqua’s doing alright in the world, and you keep chatting.
He doesn’t explain what he works on, Top Secret and all that biz, but he goes on to explain how he’s making his former boss’s life a living hell now that he’s his subordinate. In fact, now that Flash took some time off, he’s confined to a closet of a room until Flash gets back.
Ugh, can we stop chatting with this thief! I would prefer your insane unwanted stalkers to this sickenly sweet “bromance” as you call it.
Quiet you! My Bug’s Bromantic partner is none of your concern!
Rolling your eyes you think, Wow, thanks Selly. Way to defend me.
I have. And tell me I’m not lying? If you were, as they say, pitching for the other team, I’d say this Pegasus would be receiving flowers and chocolates from you, she teases.
THAT image makes you shake your head.
Nope! Nope! NOPE!!! Do Not Want!
“You okay Baker?” he asks as you shake your head wildly.
“I’m fine! Just don’t stand so close to me!” you tell him as you push him away trot up ahead causing him to shrug.
Wanting a distraction, any distraction, you come across Rainbow Dash’s mailbox and check it for her like she wanted. Inside is a letter with the Wonderbolts insignia.
“Oh hey, look at that. She actually got a letter from them,” you say as you open the envelope.
“Whoah dude wait! It’s illegal to open someone else's- “
You drown him out as you read the letter.
Seems Rainbow has in fact been accepted into the Wonderbolts Academy. You smile at this since it means less chances of her stalking you but then you read the bottom of the page and you Squee a little.
“What was that noise?” Flash asks.
“This letter is signed by Spitfire herself!” you say as you caress her name at the bottom of the letter.
“OH…and…?”
"What do you mean and? She's the coolest, most hottest member of the Wonderbolts. Plus she's the captain!" you chide.
"Oh. I don't know, I always felt like Fleetfoot was the more attractive one," he admits.
"Well, you're just wrong is all," you dismiss causing him to ruffle his feathers.
Again you ignore him and stare at the elegant signature of one of your celebrity crushes.
OK, I know Sapphire Shores let me down in the idol department, but hopefully not you, you fiery speed demon you...
You get so engrossed in you idolization you bring the letter up to your face and take a big sniff of the hoof signature at the bottom. It has the faint scent of cinnamon and smoke.
“OK, what the buck are you doing now?” Flash asks a bit creeped out, causing you to come to your senses.
“NOTHING! What do you mean? I wasn’t doing anything weird!” you yell as you stuff the letter back in the envelope and shove it back into the mailbox.
You give him a wide eyed look, and he still stares at you a bit creeped out.
“Let us never speak of this again,” you blurt.
“Agreed.”
Oh for the gods’ sake. What in the actual Tartarus is the point of any of this! Sombra growls.
You sigh at this outburst. You haven’t really drank too much over the last week. Constant booze consumption without drunkenness still has it's drawbacks as you found out a few days ago.
Luckily though, Fluttershy has come through.
“Hey Flash, you mind taking a detour? I need to see a bear about a tranq.”
“Umm…OK?”
As the two of you begin to walk towards Fluttershy's home, you can't help but feel a flashback coming to explain how you asked Fluttershy about them in the first place...
FLASHBACK TIME!
Kersey's Comment
A few days after the Apple Family Reunion, you were treated to a lovely breakfast courtesy of your (more than likely) grandmother. Some news was thrown around, like the School House Derby race coming up soon, and how Babs Seed and her friends and family worked on her bullying issues back in Manehattan. Applebloom was getting ready for school, while Nightshade was getting ready for more magic lessons with Twilight. Why wasn't she in school? Because you're NOT staying permanently in Ponyville that's why! And whatever Red's ex-wife can throw out, Crazlight can spit out much more effectively.
Anyway, you were having breakfast one day when...
"Uh... did you change the recipe?" you ask hesitantly to Granny Smith, the piece of normally sweet apple bread feeling a bit underwhelming in your mouth.
"Course not!" Granny Smith replies, "I've been making my breakfast foods the same way since my grand-pappy made them as a youngin! Ya don't mess with the family recipe."
"Really? Cause this tastes... different. Like somehow... less than normal," you say as you chew the food.
"Well you have been hitting the hard cider pretty frequent-like. The cider sweetness is probably drowning it out." Big Mac points out.
"Ya Baker, you have been putting away cider like a squirrel puts away nuts. Heck, you're chugging a bottle right now!" she points out causing you stop and put the bottle down with a nervous chuckle.
She shakes her head at this, "Sugar cube, while it's pretty amazing that you've been drinking nonstop and you're still more sober than a Salt Lick City prohibitionist with a liver disorder, the fact is we think you should cut back." Applejack comments.
"Aw man, really?" you mutter.
"Yes young un. Ain't no good for a stallion to spend his days in a bottle. You'll end up ruining yer tastebuds for good," Granny points out.
"... *ding* Oh buck!" you exclaim in horror as you realize if that's the case, you won't be able to taste this wonderful and glorious food.
"Language!" Red scolds.
"Sorry," you say sheepishly as you slide the bottle over to him.
So, not wanting to permanently destroy your taste buds, you decide that it's high time to head over to Fluttershy's to get some animal tranquilizers.
When you head over after breakfast, you don't hear Applejack say this to her family.
"Thank goodness he bought that. He's practically gone through all our private winter stores."
Granny Smith chuckles at this, "Heh, stallions that take to the bottle all tend to believe what the more level headed tell them. Now let's put away this bland bread and have some real Apple Food."
But alas, you didn't hear that exchange, you idiot.
Along the way to the the cottage, Selena speaks up.
I know that we will need the sedatives now that you've decided to stop drinking, but we have at least three days. Is now REALLY the best time to visit that useless strumpet?
One, Fluttershy is NOT a useless strumpet, she was just misguided is all, and I don't think she hates you anymore
I'll believe that when I see it, she grumbles.
Two, MY ABILITY TO TASTE ALL THOSE DELICIOUS APPLE RECIPES ARE IN DANGER!!! And Three, well, there may not be a guarantee that she even has tranqs. Better to ask now while smokey is still boozed up.
When arriving at Fluttershy's, there was of course an awkward silence between you. It'd been about a week and a half since the party and since Selena verbally beat her down, and you hadn't really spoken since due to Reunion prep and Bully drama.
The both of you are silent for awhile until you're about to slap yourself out of it, as is your protocol, when Fluttershy stops your hoof saying,
"Wait! Sorry, you don't have to slap yourself out of an awkward silence for me."
"Oh thank goodness for that, I know it's a habit but it does still sting when I do."
"Right...Well...hello Hoody and..." she looks away from your eyes and adds, "You..."
"Hey Fluttershy...and she says Hi too."
I most certainly did not!
She invites you inside, and you both make small talk, mostly about what's new. Nothing much with her, except for turning down Lyra and Octavia's invitation for reforming the Horde.
She asks how have you been, and you tell her about how you've been busy with the Apple Reunion, and how crazy that was with the bats and everything.
"Aw, but fruit bats are so adora-"
"NO! Do not finish that sentence! In fact, let us never speak of those night terrors again," you command, confusing her.
You also briefly touch on the Nightshade bully issue, and how you straightened the whole thing out. She says she understands and sympathizes, since she was on both sides of that problem. This confuses you.
"You were a bully?"
"Yeah...briefly. It was after Iron Will's seminar, and I took being assertive a little too far. I'm not proud of what I did, especially because I know how it felt to be a victim. Those guys back at flight camp never left Rainbow and I alone. But I'm glad things worked out for Nightshade and the others."
Really? Who the heck picks on the shy girl? Stupid jerks. Maybe I could ask Rainbow who they were then kidnap them, bring them here, and then let her assertive side maim them for vengeance and...
Isn't that the same kind of thinking that caused our daughter to act like a petty thug not too long ago? Selena points out.
Uhhhhhh...Right. Jeeze my mind is twisted. Why did I come here again?!
To acquire sedatives for our drunken captive.
*hic* I could still defeat all of you if you just had the courtesy to die and release *ZAP* Owwww...
What was that? you ask.
*chuckle* Nothing, just therapeutic shocking of a moron. But yes, get those sedatives from this little tart.
OI! Quit with the name calling. She's not a tart!
You then talk with Fluttershy more. You even apologize again about how harsh Selena spoke to her, she nods and stays quiet for a bit before responding.
"It's alright, I was harsh myself. I mean, I did speak about killing her to her face..." She then looks you square in the eye.
"Look, you...I was hoping that maybe we could...start anew. Have a clean start?" she asks with a bit of apprehension.
Your mouth doesn't move, nor do your eyes glow. You don't hear a response aside from an intake of breath.
Fluttershy hesitantly and slowly looks away,
"I-if you want that is..."
Aren't you going to say anything?
No. I said I was done with her. If she proves genuine with her actions, then perhaps I will grace her with my voice. Until then, nay. YOU speak with her all you want. she huffs.
"She's uh...still kind of sore on the subject," you say to Fluttershy. "Look, that night was tense, we all said things that were pretty harsh, and we've all apologized more or less. I'm sure all three of us can move on from this eventually," you say being the middle man.
Fluttershy nods, and you add,
"Don't forget Fluttershy, you're still one of my most trusted and bestest friends. Even if I have other close friends that you're on rocky ground with, okay?"
You then give her a hug and she visibly becomes less tense with a sigh.
Aw, see? We're all friends here. And wow it's been a long time, I forgot how good she feels against- NO! BAD BUG! you think pushing yourself away from her quickly.
Some things never change... Selena rolls her eyes.
After that awkwardness you ask Fluttershy for heavy duty animal tranquilizers, preferably some for larger creatures. When asked why, you tell her it's for temperament issues, while pointing at your head. She then says she'll happily get some in for you because she thinks they'll be for Selena. You're about to correct her when said mare chimes in;
Let her carry on with that delusion. It'll be easier in the long term if she doesn't know about the extra guest in your head.
Right...Plus she's only kind of accepting of you. I don't even want to know what can of worms ol Shambala will open.
FLASHBACK IS NOW OVER
You knock three times on Fluttershy's cottage, and Harry the bear opens it.
"IS THAT A FREAKING BEAR!!!" Flash yells in fright, hovering off the ground.
"Eyup. So Harry, you got the goods?"
The bear looks to Flash behind you and points a claw at him before giving you a questioning growl.
"Yeah he's fuzz, but don't worry. He's cool."
The bear then nods and hands you a paper bag.
"Thanks Harry. See ya around."
The bear the waves happily at you and closes the door.
What a nice young bear. I'm glad you didn't actually get your neck snapped by Fluttershy.
You then open the bag...and it's not what you were expecting. When you asked for tranqs, you thought you'd be getting more needles or something. Instead, you have a bottle of pills with a picture of an elephant on it.
"Sooo, what's all this about then?" Flash asks.
"Oh, not much. I just need some medicine...apparently the kind that can take out a full grown elephant, and until Twilight officially allows me to come back from the dead, I can't buy them," you say as you open up the bottle and take out one of the bouncy ball sized pills.
"Oh, no worries man. I know the feeling," he says pulling out his own bottle of prescription pills.
Both being good bros, you don't ask WHY the two of you need pills.
"Well, bottoms up!" you toast him as you both down your pills, chewing them like the rugged stallions you are...and wishing you each had some water because they taste terrible.
Bottle of Elephant Tranqs Added to Inventory
So, how is this batch of-
All the ducks are swimming in the water, Faldaraldaralda, Faldaraldaralda...
Wow, talk about immediate results.
Indeed.
As the former king sings, you look to Flash and say.
"Soo, you wanna get lunch or something?"
"Yeah. Sounds good man. Then let's hit up a bowling alley or something. I haven't had a day off in forever."
Smiling, you walk with your buddy back into town. As you do, you can't help but wonder something.
I wonder where Nightshade wandered off too earlier. She said something about helping...pets or something like that. I'm sure she's fine. She better not be alone with a guy or I swe-
POV CHANGE: Nightshade
You are walking with your pet robot fox Mangle towards the Golden Oaks Library as your dad is getting hugged by Mr. Sentry.
"Told ya so Dad," you chuckle. "Dang Ms. Twilight can be clever...when she's not too busy being nuts that is. Although she is teaching me some cool stuff. That reconfiguration spell is kind of neat."
Anyway, now that your dad's hopes of leaving have been dashed for at least another two weeks, you decide to check up on Spike.
For you see, you and Spike have set up a gem making scheme by offering to take care of the Deadly Six's pets while they're gone. Half the gems will go to Spike to make a cake (which you wouldn't mind having a bite of), the other half towards you...so that you can pay off your grounding. You figure that a few gems will allow you to buy something nice and meaningful to give to Diamond and Silver as an apology. If it goes well, things might not be so tense, and your grounding time might go down. Win Win for everyling.
You were supposed to be there earlier, but your Dad's schemes at the train station kept you longer than you thought.
"I'm sure Spike's got this handled," you say to Mangle. "I doubt those cute little guys are that much of a hassle."
With that said you open the door to the library...and into a scene of complete chaos.
"SPIKE!" you cry out in alarm.
Spike is unconscious on the ground with the Deadly Six's pets running wild all over the library. Rarity's cat is shredding the curtains, Applejack's dog is chasing Fluttershy's bunny around, Pinkie's gator is somehow walking on the ceiling, and Twilight's owl is frantically trying (and failing) to keep things in order.
Closing the door behind you and running to the dragon's side you say,
"Spike! What the buck happened?! Why are you knocked out on the- *BONK* oooohhhhh," you wobble woozily as Rainbow's flying tortoise smacks you in the head.
Laying on the floor next to knocked out dragon and rubbing your head where you got smacked, you and Mangle can only stare at the pet's shenanigans as you think,
OK, NOW WHAT THE BUCK DO I DO!?
Outro:
