"Well looks like Nobody is going to bother us this time." I managed to growl as I turned the weight of my entire body and pinned the shocked unicorn under the weight of my arms.
Her breathless gasp created a burning inferno inside of me like none before. Her mane was splayed on the floor of the train car but it might as well have been a thousand count threaded mattress or a sun side beach towel. The lustrous sheen of her mane reflected like the sun rising over the Isles of Scilly. Lords above every damned second of looking at her was enough to tear me into a million blissful pieces.
"Looks like it." Came her reply in barely a whisper. Her lower lip was in her mouth as her brilliantly seductive eyes looked up to me pleading, begging, hungering.
"Guess we're going to do this." I whispered as I raised one eyebrow and stared at her delightful grin as the words left my mouth.
"Are you nervous?" She managed to whisper as her eyes looked me up and down.
"Oh hell yeah."
Why wouldn't I? She's a pony... A sexy... mercilessly teasing... oh gods above feck it all I NEED THAT PONY POON!
Her eyes softened as she chuckled gently while trailing a hoof across the hem of my shirt. The fabric pulled up a fraction of an inch and her hoof touched bare flesh. Shite I nearly fell on top of her, the individual hairs of her hoof left trails of pure fire across my already hot skin.
"Killian?"
I looked into her eyes and cocked my head to the side.
"So... probably should start by saying that um..."
Her face lit up in a blush as her hoof covered her snout. I was practically close to ravaging her. The cuteness was overloading me, lords spit it out!
"You're um... my..."
GET ON WITH IT HOLY FECKIN SHITE WOMAN I'M ABOUT TO RELEASE THE NORMANDY FROM SLIP SPACE!!
Her head buried into my shirt as her small whimper reverberated across the muscles underneath. A small indiscernible squeak left her mouth. Gaining a bit more courage I leaned my own head down until my chin rested on her horn with a chuckle.
"First time?" I finally asked feeling the feral nature of my primal self ebbing away slowly to a more caring form.
She nodded her head slowly and kept herself nuzzled close to me.
"Scared mindlessly?"
Another nod.
"Having second thoughts?"
My turn to be surprised. The mare craned her head up to look deeply into my eyes with a determination that rivaled my own. Two hooves pulled me down as her lips met mine in the most explosive kiss of my life. Her lips connected with mine as tongues waged war on one another. Her overpowering muscle left not only the interior of my mouth soaked but also my lips as we pushed each other back and forth. Any mask I had being the dominant muscly Irishman crumbled as my hand wrapped behind her head and tangled its digits in her lustrous mane. The sweet cinnamon smell of her musk filled my mind as every part of me fought against the caged fire beast growing deep inside of my chest. Like a man desperate for oxygen I broke the kiss with a growl far deeper than I thought I could pull off.
"STAY." I commanded.
My lips met hers briefly before craning down her jaw line and against the softness of her sweet neck. A trail of euphoric destruction followed my movements as my tongue tore through the forest of her fur coat. No single spot was safe from my deep nips and bites as the mare under me squirmed with a growing volume to her gasps and mewls.
MINE
No she's mine ya damn wench.
A indescribable feeling tore through my body as I fought the deep desire to rut Maire into a quivering and near dead mess. My skin tensed and each hair on my body straightened out as my entire being became abundantly apparent at how much Maire was enjoying my ministrations and how much more she wanted.
"Killian!" She screamed in a higher tone than I had ever heard.
I hadn't even realized I was nibbling at the innermost part of her sweet thigh. I didn't notice my body moving of its own accord, the first kiss on the crease between thigh and pelvis. I couldn't stop the biting of her tail that she used to modestly censor herself. The pull, the cry, the hunger.
Pony, it's what's for dinner.
"S-so... Do human females have a similar f-feel!"
I nipped at her thigh with a growl and a hushed groan. Gods above the smell alone was driving myself into a type 10 fuck-machine. Control. I slowly regained composure and took her tail in my hand pulling it aside to finally lay eyes on my prize. As it came closely into view I paused, fully expecting something to interrupt me.
Nothing? You sure universe? Alright then finally getting to the goods!
It was so much similar to the lass' I had been with but not at the same time. A drop of moisture soaked into her thigh, and I swallowed. It was all I could do. She was thoroughly soaked and just seeing that was enough to make my heart catch in my throat. She really, really wanted me.
"Everything o-okay?" Maire asked with a discernible stutter.
"No. Patrick, Guinness and Doyles you're just..." I paused to lick my lips and force myself to look into her eyes. "You're feckin perfect. You know that?"
Her face went white before bursting into the deepest blush I had ever seen. Her big blue eyes struck me in a way that nobody ever had. Without another word I sunk down and let my tongue graze across her glimmering pink folds. The instant reaction traveled from her body down to her lower hooves where she twitched and thrust into my face. A purr traveled through Maire as she pressed her hooves to my head with a desperate yearning for my continuation.
She tastes like heavily spiced cider. Lord I may never get my dick wet if she tastes like this all the time.
I bathed in the scent, the sweetest and spiciest of ciders assailing my senses in ways nothing ever had before.
"Killian?"
JESUS FECK WITH ALL THE INTERRUPTIONS! FECKIN CHRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSST!
I cleared my senses and smiled up at the feverishly blushing unicorn as I placed my hand in her mane.
"Yes Maire?"
"I um... Ifeelthatwe'verushedthisalittletoomuchandI'mnotsurehowtogoforwardwiththis."
Whoo nelly, that's one helluva a fast talker.
"Well... Geeze I um..." I paused and felt a hand go to the back of my neck. with past lovers I had usually been thrown down between legs and held there till I damn near passed out.
"I understand I suppose. Really I do Maire." I began as I sat on my haunches and continued to rub the back of my neck like a schoolboy seeing his first pair of bra clad tits.
"It's not that I don't want you or anything... Because I really." She paused and closed her eyes as her tail brushed against what was my buffet. "I REALLY do."
The magic she was casting with her smell alone made it very hard for me to control the turbulent amount of need in my body. Shite and feck it all I needed to shut her gob with my meat pole and thrust until her mouth was filled with gooey Irish marshmallow cream.
"I'm just afraid that... This is only temporary."
Well that does it. Maire wants commitment? I can give that girl commitment.
"I don't think you'd have to worry. I'm kind of taken with you."
Her eyes stared into mine as a quivering smile crawled across her lovely face. That smile was telling me a million words and all of them were a repeat of FUCK ME.
"What the buck... Come over here and let's make an interspecies day of it."
I laughed harder than I would have liked and pulled her tail hard eliciting a moan from the unicorn.
"That's my line."
Her legs opened for me as she laid her bed back with a heated moan while my lips found my prize. The little nub was staring at me and wanted my undivided attention so I was going to give it to her.
"Stop teasing me and fucking dig in!" She cried out as her hooves found the back of my head and all but slammed me into the intoxicating depths of her nethers. The soft, wet flesh gave way under my tongue as I tasted Maire, teased her, made her...
"Mine." Came the thought through my mouth as I held her tight.
"Yes... Faust above make me yours Killian. Make me... make me your..." She trailed off and put a hoof into her mouth as she looked away ashamedly.
"Go on Maire. Talk dirty to me." I managed to whisper as I nibbled her nub with a growl.
That did it. The resounding groan and silence was enough to drive me mad.
"RUT ME, RUIN ME, JUST DO IT."
Oh... well then.
I nibbled her folds one last time before standing above her, my hands already on my pants as I began to take them down with a groan as the fabric rubbed against the tower of south command.
"I swear to Faust Killian if you don't tear those pants off and just... just... FUCK me I'll pin you down with magic and ride you until you can't breathe!"
Holy shite this mare is absolutely wonkers! But feck I'm hard just listening to her.
I threw down my pants and boxers and watched as her wide eyes trailed down my stomach to the tackle which pointed right towards the sky. Her eyes softened and I watched as she rolled onto her stomach and crawled to me while licking her lips. Her head craned up to look at me as she impishly pushed a hoof to my diamond hard pike which sent a rumble of pleasure all over me.
"Killian... I'm not sure I can take any of this..." She muttered as she licked her lips again and merely stared.
Now I'm no stallion in my world, oh no. I'm at most a solid 7' and anything more is a downright lie. But this mare looking at me was eying me like I was the biggest, blackest cock she had ever laid her eyes on.
And it made me feel absolutely fecking awesome.
"Can I... can I lick it?" She asked with a true innocence that made my mind swim.
"Um... please?" I whispered as I watched her hooves hold my cock in place as she opened her dripping maw and stick the very tip of her tongue against my shafts base.
JESUSFECKOHGODSABOVEHOWCANHERTONGUEFEELSOFECKINGAWESOME!?
"Are you okay!?" Maire cried out as she popped the very tip of my cock from her mouth.
She stared and groaned as within a second my hands had found the back of her head and I managed to shove the entirety of my tool into her hot mouth. I... had not intended to do so but the silken, hot, wet contours of her muzzle were doing WONDERS to me. It was like every pussy my cock had been in, times infinity, plus the sun, and add a topless cheerleading squad in the background fingerin and feckin and shite.
Maybe not that far but still, she was still the greatest thing to ever touch my tackle.
"Feck Maire... That's unholy the magic you've got in that tiny face of yours." I managed to groan as she lovingly suckled my entire length with a sweet little giggle.
She worked my entire organ with the precision of a porn star surgeon, her fervent licking driving my entire being into overdrive. The colors were more vibrant, the hairs on her lips teasing me was like a million hands stroking me, the smells... Gods above the smells. My resounding orgasm was nearing and the happy little mewls coming from Maire as she suckled was too damn much for one man to handle.
"MAIRE!"
She knew. God damn she knew. The moment her name left my lips she popped my shaft from her maw and moaned loudly as her hooves milked me.
"Make a mess Killian. Mark me... please."
The resounding blast of magic was enough to knock things around the cart. Her horn flared as brilliant flashes erupted from it, my own body feeling like a roaring fire as line after line of thick seed splashed across her smiling face as she let loose one of her devious "Maire Smiles."
"Get over here and make me your mare Killian. I can see you're still ready to go." She whispered as she rolled onto her back and spread her legs wide as she licked her face clean with a lingering gaze.
Feck. I'm in for it now.
ELSEWHERE IN THE OMNIVERSE
“Let me get this straight.” Came a low whisper that had an edge sharper than a razor to it.
Awe, yes. The always ominous “let me get this straight” spiel. I had perfected the fine art of disaster in my travels and this was definitely no exception. Standing around me were some very outdated gangsters wearing black suits wielding a myriad of weapons ranging from the common 9mm pistol all the way to a very puny switch blade. To normal eyes these men were your run of the mill buzz cut gangster wannabes. Some pretty tasteless haircuts if you ask me seeing as how despite the hours of torture my hair looked absolutely fabulous.
“You come into my den,” The voice continued as a shape made its way through the darkness behind the single light above my chair.
See? Absolutely a trope. These guys were gangsters by the fucking book.
“You kill several of my sentries, steal from my collection, bring cold iron into my home and you just expected to walk out alive?”
The shape came through the dark shroud while tapping a solid black cane against an open hand. Unlike the rest of the cookie cutter goons surrounding me this guy practically screamed ironic mob boss. This guy however had one defining feature that separated him from the HBO villains you see on TV.
“Hello to you too King of Thorn.” I spat as I tried my best to put on a shit eating grin.
The man smiled; or would have if his head wasn't a completely bleached Elk skull. Tar black runes etched the surface of his visage ending with teeth sharpened and all too willing to rip my head clean off. The horns were made from demon bone as any actual wizard could tell since they smoldered like lit coals eternally.
All in all? Zero out of ten would not use as a booty call.
“My name is Salaem to you Manchester Black.” He sneered as a three fingered hand adjusted his blood red tie.
Typical villains am I right?
“I‘m honored you actually know my name your majesty.” I said with a slight bow of my head and drawing upon my infinite reserve of heinous sarcasm.
The goons looked down at me and looked back to the boss. The lack of lips or, well, skin made it very hard for me to tell if the boss in question was happy, sad, or horny. I guess that’s what you have to expect when facing a fallen angel turned hellbeast.
“So when do your boys take turns slapping me and calling me a bad boy?” I hissed with a light chuckle.
The elk headed fuck merely shook his head as two white fires where eyes would be seemed to grow smaller. He let out a growl that might have intimidated a normal human but my testosterone and adrenaline were at an all time high and I was just getting started.
“You seem awfully cocky for a man that’s about to have his cock chopped off and fed to him. You have no power here wizard. We have removed every magical artifact including that absolutely ghastly item you had hanging from your cock.”
I laughed loudly and rocked my chair back and forth.
“I feel bad for whoever took that off. No homo my friend but that was probably the only non magical item on me.”
The king growled louder and brought a clawed finger to tap at his forehead.
“You must be insane Mr. Black. You’re literally going to die here and you’re seemingly enjoying yourself.”
“Only problem with your plan is that you assumed I was alone.” I sneered as a tiny brown and black blur jumped up the leg of the guard closest to my left and landed on my shoulder with a discernable squeek.
The shock of the immediate addition of a second player forced the goons and the king to freeze. On my shoulder, standing proudly with his tiny vest open was my closest friend and partner Gwynn. Gwynn the-
“Is that a weasel?” The king asked as he chuckled then pointed at me with a claw.
“You brought a weasel to watch you die? Oh Mr. Black I am very, very disappointed in you. You built up my hope that you were going to attempt an escape.”
Gwynn stood tall on my shoulder and wrapped his tiny paws on the bell that hung from his collar. With a tiny breath he opened his mouth and spoke with my own voice.
“INVOCA IGNIS!”
Within a solid half second the entire crowd of goons and henchmen burst into bright blue flames. Now I’m no physicist but my friend is and I was informed months ago that a flame as bright and blue as what I could conjure would roughly equate to 1500°C which was pretty damn hot even for familiars.
The men screamed and dropped to the ground. Unfortunately for them a fire that hot was an almost instant death sentence. I counted down the guards until there was one left that was frantically trying to point his gun to his own head. Too little, too late, and crack! All gone.
“Vinculis amittere.” I whispered through Gwynn and smiled as the handcuffs holding me to the chair fell away with a satisfying clank.
I grabbed Gwynn and put him in the inner pocket I sewed for him. He smiled and handed me the tiny bell with a chitter which earned the adorable bugger a pat on the head. Damn the bugger was cute and I was gonna spoil him rotten when I got out of this.
“He’s my little familiar and you were stupid to think I’d come alone. Give the little guy a Bell of Saint Martin and he serves as a powerful catalyst for my spellcraft.”
The king stared with his flaming eyes dashing to the now ashen mounds of his guards. The sheer energy coming off of the demon was enough for me to know that he was defeated. That was until he pulled his cane to his chest and snapped it in half.
Now I’m no master artificer but I know a auric egg when I saw one. The small egg shaped ball of green light hovered in the claws of the king as a soft chuckle came from his throat. Auric eggs were items that held immense amount of power and were usually the arcane equivalent of a small nuclear bomb.
“Did you really think I’d be so stupid as to allow you to live even if you bested my familiars? I’ll burn this valley to a crisp and take your soul to hell where it belongs!” He roared as his hand tightened its grip around the humming artifact.
“Shit no, but did you happen to know that I was a auctioneer a few years back?” I queried as I held the bell tightly in my fist.
He leaned back and paused as if to visually say “Are you fucking serious right now?”
“Ignis-et-vires-lapidis-invocare!” I cried out as fast as I could while the bell shone with a celestial light.
The room exploded in white light. I felt the very essence of holy power course through my veins and burn as it did. Beings that aren’t pure and void of sin can use holy incantations but usually have to suffer something.
I was suffering the burning might of a thousand damned suns because I'm FAR from sinless.
“I’ll get you Black! I’ll take you to hell and feast upon your soul!” The boss screamed while his body burst into ash within the waves of ever brightening light.
“Get in line you skeletal cock!” I managed to yell as the bell disintegrated and my hand flipped the bird to the remains of the demon.
Light. Fire. Burning. Fear...
Darkness.
At least there was... UntilI felt Gwynn scratching at my chest as some high pitched voice started crying my name.
"Manchester, wake up you gob!"
My crusted eyes opened slowly as my sight was blasted with a bright flash of blistering white light. The resounding scream from me must have startled the poor kid yelling at me and Gwynn since I felt the little ferret fly off my chest.
"What the hell! That hurt you stupid conjurer."
"Who the hell is talkin? What in the seven hells happened?" I groaned as I rubbed at my eyes and blinked them to get focus back.
Trees, grass, some strange rocks. All a little too colorful for my taste. And there, standing on a rock with it's tiny arms crossed was Gwynn. His head craned sideways as a very, VERY distinct snarl crossed his tiny face.
"That hurt you jerk."
It was in that moment that I, Manchester Black, traveler of worlds, slayer of demons, screamed like a tiny little girl.
In the bedroom of a strange white guy and his corgi.
Discord laughed as he hovered over the reclined office chair which housed a very tired and very annoyed male. Tall, lithe, and missing a very distinct mustache he massaged his temples as the god of chaos continued to jubilantly laugh.
"What? I can't have a little fun now and then?" Discord muttered as he watched his own words flash on a bright screen measuring the length of the bedroom wall.
"Wait, stop that. I'm a frilly fairy princess. I like to look at porn of Celestia." He proclaimed as his wardrobe changed to that of a-
Good lord would you stop that!? It's bad enough that I ended up here talking to you when Celly was licking frosting of infinite flavors off of my dainty little claws.
Not my problem that you had to pop in just as another gateway opened up and dropped another poor soul into your technicolor nightmare world.
Oh please, it's not ALWAYS my fault when a chaos portal opens up. I'm not the only god of chaos in the omniverse you know. There's John Delancie, Q, Pink Guy, Pinkie Pie, Filthy Frank-
Yes I'm quite aware of the chaos lords thank you very much. I'm the only peace lord in this universe anyways. Also what the hell are you doing in my bedroom. It's bad enough I get flack from the readers when I bring in possible same sex scenarios and pony poon.
Oh don't be that way. In any case with the newest addition to my world I'm sure everypony will get what they want. I know Killian sure has and speaking of which when are you going to get some "tail" my dear Ti- I mean Silent Author? And a self insert? How low even for you to bring up your word count all because you are so bad at describing interspecies sexcapades.
My sex life is none of your god damn concern you pudgy little Draconoques. And I'm not doing it to boost my word count YOU came here remember?
Yes I suppose in that case I'll go back... Killian and Maire have had their chapter and I'd hate for them to have poon to tool relations so soon in their relationship.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good bye Discord. Get out of here before I write your BDP into a BDV.
This is not the last you've heard of me Silent Author! I'll be back to ruin your fanbase and force you to write greentext for 4chan!
With that the god of chaos disappeared in a glittery fart portal. And good riddance.
So when do we bring in that collaborative piece?
... Not now Boss Level.