//------------------------------// // Total Chaos // Story: Framwinkle's Random Writings // by Framwinkle //------------------------------// "Oh, how shall I put this," Rarity dithered, putting a hoof to her chin in thought. "It's not that Applejack isn't fashion conscious. It's that she's fashion unconscious." ----- Raise this barn, raise this barn! 1, 2, 3, 4! Together we can raise this barn! 1, 2, 3, 4! Up, up, up, go the beams, Hammer those joints, work in teams. If it don't fit just make it go, Equestria's got no building codes! ----- When you're a younger pony And your flank is very bare That's probably illegal And CPS will soon be there! ----- Flurryheart got her name from the snowstorm and the crystal heart. So where did you ponies get your names? Twilight Sparkle: "Well, I was kind of named after my mother, because I was born just after sundown, and Dad said Mom and I both had the same cute sparkle in our eyes." Rarity: "My parents had tried for quite some time to have a foal before I was born, so they said I was a rarity. Honestly, they're not very creative." Fluttershy: "Um, well... mom said she could feel me flutter my wings a lot before I was born... and then I didn't want to come out." Pinkie Pie: "I'm pink in a family of mostly gray ponies! Duh!" Rainbow Dash: "I got my name for my awesome mane and tail, obviously, and mom was in labor for just 10 minutes flat, so they had to 'dash' to the hospital." Applejack: "Well, ya see... ma and pa got into the hard stuff one night, and I think you know the rest." ----- "I need something real fast, like a bullet, to keep up with me!" "Sure! How 'bout a bunny? They're cutesy and wootsy, and quick as can be." "Cutesy? Wootsy? Have you even met me?" "No, seriously Rainbow. Take a bunny. Please! I HAVE HUNDREDS!" ----- "Buck to the Future" "I remember it vividly! I was standing on the edge of my toilet, hanging a clock. The porcelain was wet, I slipped, hit my head on the edge of the sink, and when I came to I had a picture on my flank. A picture of this! This is what makes time travel possible. The flux capacitor!" "Wait. Doc, are you saying you got your cutie mark when you fell off your toilet at hit your head on the sink?" "Yes, Marty! Exactly!" "...Worst cutie mark story EVER!" ----- Rare, the mare with fashion sense, Twi, the purple alicorn, Jack, the horse with apple scents, Dash, the one who won't be shorn, Shy, the quiet pegasus, Pie, the pink party pony, Spike, who sends their messages, They're why we watch MLP! ----- (To the tune of "The Brady Bunch") Here's the story, of a mare named Celey Who raised the sun, along with her three girls All of them had mental issues, like their mother The pinkest one in curls Here's the story, of a mare named Luna Who was busy raising three mares on the moon They were four mares with a common problem They were stuck on the moon. 'Till the one day when the stars brought them together And they knew that they were all stuck in a crunch So this group thought they could all work out their issues That's the way that they became Harmony Bunch Harmony Bunch, Harmony Bunch There's also Spike, and they became Harmony Bunch. ----- "Fluttershy, do me a favor. If I ever say I'm interested in your brother, just shove me in a thunder cloud and give it a good kick. Okay?" "I promise, Rainbow." ----- (The struggle of hooves is real.) Hello doorknob my old friend You've come to taunt me once again If not for you I could go outside And let the sun just warm my hide But I can't even open my bedroom door What a chore Because of you, my doorknob ----- "Oh! Hey, Rainbow Dash!" "Hey, Pinkie Pie! What's up?" "Are you excited for the big games coming up in the Crystal Empire? I know I am! Hey! Which sport is your favorite? The javelin? Or the high jump? Oh! Oh! I know! I bet it's the 100 yard 'dash', right? Personally, I think I'm partial to the equestrian." "Uh, Pinkie? They're all equestrian." ----- Pinkie, you've got to stand up tall, learn to mace your fears. You'll see that they can't hurt you if they're too busy crying tears.