//------------------------------// // *Panicked Screaming* // Story: World of Horsecraft // by duvagr007 //------------------------------// A bright sun rose over the Elwynn forest, birds chirping and a light breeze rustling leaves. Zoom in a bit and we come to the small rest stop of Goldshire. Sort of like a medieval 7/11, or Jets. Two large groups were heading in it's direction, one from the Capitol city of Stormwind. This procession consisted of several (~50) guards, with King Varian Wrynn at the head. The sunlight that managed to reach them reflected off of their armor, giving the mass of soldiers the appearance of a gleaming sea. Unfortunately for them, they'd chosen to go with their ceremonial armor, not really expecting much in the way of conflict this deep in Alliance territory. They rode to meet our heroines, who should be waking up right about... *yawn* Rainbow Dash sat up in bed, stretching her arms. She groggily stood, and shuffled her way around the UI, attempting to open her bags and equip her armor. She looked around at her friends, who were at varying stages of doing the same thing. Fluttershy was actually still corporeal. (For those that don't know what that means: use google. Seriously, I'm not just gonna spell it out for you... well, i guess I technically DID spell it out. It's right there: c-o-r-p-o-r-e-a-l. There you go. That's how you spell it. But what it MEANS, look it up. Don't be lazy. Sheesh. Or just use context clues.) [Disclaimer: Comments made by the author are in no way meant to put down or insult the reader. They are merely for comedic purposes, and should not be taken (too) seriously] Suddenly, a large, blue, tailed fellow popped into existence in the room. His armor was very dark, eyes glowing blue. He had a presence of death about him, massive horns protruding from his plate helm. A Draenei. Death knight. Newly blooded from the looks of him. Yep, still level 58. He looked around the room, all the half naked women staring blankly at him, save the huntress. She merely continued with her routine. Fluttershy gazed upon his form, instantly awestruck. She beheld his mighty sword, slung across his back, swirling with energy. Who was this... man seemed like too much of an understatement. Demi-god felt more appropriate. She stood, and activated her shadow form, walking lightly towards him. "Hello there," she spoke, tracing a finger down his chest. "Who might you be?" The Death Knight looked down on her, a smile just visible under his helm. "Greetings," he spoke, ice in his voice. "I am called Chiknbiscut, Bringer of Frost and Pain. You may call me Biscut. And who are you my dear?" He placed his massive hand under her chin, lifting her head slightly. Fluttershy grinned mischievously, wrapping her arm around his back. The other girls simply stared in bewilderment. "I'm Fluttershy, but you can call me whatever you want." She began to lean forward, but a massive horn blew outside, signaling the arrival of the king and his troop. Damn, thought Biscut. Cockblocked. And by the King no less. Wait, the King! Biscut ran outside, anxious to complete his quest. "May we meet again dear Fluttershy. Sooner rather than later, fate permitting." And with that, he was gone. Rainbow looked to the door, then back to Fluttershy. Then back to the door, now Fluttershy was floating. Not figuratively either. Her pure lust learned her levitate some 10 levels early. That would probably come in handy. "So... Pinkie," Twilight spoke up, breaking the silence. "What's up with the horn?" "Honestly Twilight, I have no idea. Maybe it's some new event?" "Attention Goldshire, I, King Anduin Wrynn, am seeking six women who have recently joined our ranks. I believe they are staying here in the Inn. If you can hear me in there, I should very much like to speak with you!" The girls all looked at one another. The King was just outside, and he was looking for them. This couldn't have been more perfect. They could finally complete step one of their mission: Give the king Celestia's envelope. They still had no idea what it contained however. They were honestly rather anxious to find out. "Alright girls," spoke Twilight, ever the leader, despite Pinkie's new role as 'leader'. "Best not keep His Majesty King Wrynn waiting. Off we go!" And with that, they all filed outside. They stood face to face with the King and his band of merry men, a Death Knight noticeable in the forge across the street. Several other players were bustling about, dueling one another, dancing on fences, playing with toys... the typical Goldshire shenanigans. Most of them were level 110 too. only a few others in the area were actually at level. Heck, even our heroines were a bit high up, sitting pretty at 24 or so. Twilight and Pinkie both approached the King, but they all bowed gracefully. Except Fluttershy. She bows to nobody. Unless Biscut wanted her to. The king was the first to speak. ...... Ahem. The KING was the FIRST to SPEAK. "Greetings ladies. Are you the six that I seek? The ones from..." he leaned in a bit, so only they could hear him. "Equestria?" "That we are Your Highness. We have a message for you, from our Princess." Varian's face noticeably brightened at the mention of Celestia (this was the only Princess he knew of), and motioned for Twilight to hand him the letter. Twilight reached into her inventory and produced the envelope in question. She handed it to the King, who immediately opened it, to see what it may contain. As his face beheld the contents, it began to turn a rather striking shade of red. For the envelope contained not a letter, but a simple photograph. A photograph of the Princess doing some very... unladylike things. The guard closest to him looked over, and excused himself from the formation. The king flipped it over, being careful to hide the picture itself from the women in front of him, and read what was written on the back. A simple message reading as follows: "Take good care of them, and I'll come visit. -Tia" (There was also a little heart drawn, but due to the limitations of this website, I'm unable to convey this to you save through this sentence here. just take my word for it.) The King cleared his throat rather obviously, and placed the photograph into a purse slung at this side. What? No, it's not a 'satchel' its a purse. I don't give a damn what you think. I say it's a purse, I'm the one writing this cancerous bullshit, so it's a damn purse. Shut your trap. Sheesh... let's see, what's going on? "-for bringing this important missive to me. Now then, as your princess requested of me I shall help guide you on your journey in our lands. First things first, we should get you on your way to-" a deep horn sounded in the distance, off in the direction of Redridge Mountains. "Oh no... Blackrock. To arms men! You six, with me!" The King galloped off towards Stormwind, mane six in tow for a round of 'Hide the Trouser Snake' in the Keep. Wait wait wait, is this right? Lemme check my notes... wake up, Chicknbiscut *muttering to himself*.... lewd photo.... *more muttering*... skipped THAT. Too much for the teen rating. Ah! Here we go. See, I thought that was wrong. The King galloped off at the head of the troop column, mane six in tow and ready to do battle with the Blackrock Orcs that had invaded Ellwyn forest. As it is late, and I am tired, I won't go into details on the battle. But let's just say Fluttershy had WAY too much fun until Chiknbiscut went and got his dumb ass killed, most of the soldiers died because of a lack of preparedness, and the Blackrock Orcs got shit on. HARD. Also the King was stabbed or some bullshit but he's fine. And honestly so is everybody else because death bears no weight in this stupid universe. Like, boo-friggen-hoo a ton of people died. Just resurrect the poor sods and move on. It takes like, thirty seconds. And there's enough priests alone to have fifty in every major alliance station. Not to mention paladins, druids, shamans, and death knights. Hell, even engineers have those stupid defibrillator swiss-army knife things. Oh, monks! Them too, they can res people I think. Still feel like I'm forgetting one but who cares. My point still stands. Like hell I'm rambling. And even if I am I really don't care. This is for me to vent, I don't care if this trash get's a thousand downvotes. I'm gonna keep writing this shit because I think it's funny. Everyone else's opinion be damned. If they like it then cool, if not then more power to them. I seek validation on the stories I take seriously. This is not one of those stories. Anyways, let's see what they're- HOLY FUCKING SHIT that is NOT okay! Turn it off, turn it o- TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES And don't you EVER pull that shit in a 'T' rated story again, you got that Pinkie Pie? "Sorry Mr. Narrator... I guess I got a little tipsy and the next thing I knew me and those guards were-" Stop talking!