//------------------------------// // Session 47 // Story: Ponies and Dragons (Just Have Fun) // by Alex Warlorn //------------------------------// Session 47.0 Kendell2 Just realized we haven't introduced any of Chrysalis' HUMAN WORLD family... "Chryssy!" called a voice at the Crystalsoft office. Chrysalis jumped. "Uh oh..." An older woman with a similar appearance to her, albeit with a yellowish tint and burnt rose colored hair came up and hugged her. The woman was dressed in a manner befitting wealth, though also with a gothic style. "Long time no see!" "Yes mother...you're hugging too hard..." "Oh, sorry dear..." "Mrs. Rosedust, glad to see you," said Sombra, approaching. "Why hello, Sombra! Lovely to see you. How is Radiant doing?" she asked, like an old family friend. "Who exactly is that?" Adagio asked Discord nearby, the trio working on a new music number. "That's Rosedust, the founder of Avalon Incorporated." Discord explained. "Though I hear some people call her Blackrose due to a rather nasty divorce from her first husband and a stint in the goth crowd...still keeps the attire strangely enough." "Isn't that like a huge botanical company?" Sonata asked. "Yes. Of course Chrysalis' mother made her and her sisters work rather than spoiling them rotten. Most of her siblings work there but Chrysalis found her way into game design..." "And why is she allowed to come up here and hug the VP of the company in front of everyone?" Aria asked, raising an eyebrow. "Stockholder and major backer after our hostile takerover from Sombra's insane mother..." Discord explained, looking amused. "That and its funny." Chrysalis blushed. "So, mother, are you just here to hug me or is this a business matter?" "Oh! Yes!" Rosedust said, perking up. "Well, I heard about the...fun game your little Ira is about to produce." Sombra gulped, recognizing Rosedust's expression. While she wasn't the majority stockholder, she did own quite a bit and provided a lot of funding for their games. "Yes...sorry, I honestly didn't expect her to get the funding for it..." "Oh, don't worry, I'm not angry at YOU," Rosedust admitted, giving a reassuring smile. "But I noticed another game Radiant was planning using your cute pony characters...by the way, I've bought SO many of the plushies you've sold for them, they're so cute!" Chrysalis hid her face and blushed at her mother's cutesy personality. "But regardless, I believe the specific game's working title is 'Crystals and Rainbows'?'" said Rosedust. "Oh, yes," Sombra replied, rubbing his head with an amused smile. "That one was Radiant's idea. It's a life sim and intended to just be a relaxing and innocent time for those that just want cute little ponies without violence...unfortunately, the Alpha testing didn't go well. Because Discord." "Hey! It's not my fault you asked me to go from 'high fantasy RPG with terrifying villains' to 'sweet little pony life simulator and didn't give me the right budget!'" Discord defended. The fact he was a self professed troll probably didn't help. "Honestly, I think the playtesters were overreacting, but production kind of stalled." "Think if it got all the needed funding and the right people brought in, we could at least get it in Beta?" Rosedust suggested. "After all, what better to counter the potential backlash from one game than to put out another that's wholesome?" "...Mrs. Rosedust, are you suggesting..." "I AM a backer, are I not?" Chrysalis was somewhere between humiliated and...impressed. "That...might actually be a good idea. OOC: Basically, human Rosedust isn't estranged from her nearly as much. I imagine the Crystals and Rainbows human world game would be basically a more polished version of G3 world (see :iconanimagicworld: 's work for what I imagine it being like, they do a good job and make a nice update on the G3 style) with stallions and some elements of MLPTs, but playing a bit like a mix of a Animal Crossing, Sims, and the Harvest Moon franchise. Session 47.1 Alex Warlorn "So Starlight, Trixie, Moon Dancer, Sunburst, the Cutie Mark Crusaders, and Mina The Drakaina, fought an epic battle against the mane six... who had been corrupted into witches by an overlay reality created by a cursed role playing book?" Mayor Mare asked. "And their pets turned into their familiars, don't forget about that part," Doctor Whooves explained. "What about Spike?" "I think he became their giant pet dragon or something." "... At least that explains why Ponyville had ANOTHER giant dragon battle." "Mina was sure to try and keep the fight away the populated areas." "You think the girls would have built up an immunity with all the times they've been put under mind control." "Well, this wasn't precisely mind control, reality distortion doesn't require direct mental dominance. Thankfully the curse only allowed for a overlay reality rather than a true reality change. Otherwise they'd also have had three little witchlings to face too." Mayor Mare smiled and nodded and pretended she understood that. "Hopefully this'll teach them about accepting cursed tomes from the damned of Tartarus." +++ "I wish we'd gotten to keep the cool witch's hats and capes! They'd have made great Nightmare Night costumes!" Pinkie Pie said. "Not the part about turning foals into giant cookie ponies though." "Discord said I looked 'ravishing' with my evil laugh." Fluttershy blushed. 'At least I got to turn Zephyr Breeze into a frog.' Rainbow Dash amazingly had the tact not to say out loud. "Ah'm just happy this here place got repaired." AJ said, happy at the lack of smoking holes and tears in reality following the epic spell duel between Witch Twilight Sparkle and a good Starlight Glimmer. The less said her about apple monster verses the CMC's mechnical ModPodge the better. "AND! That Winoa and the others are back to normal." "Well, it wasn't so bad that they could talk," Fluttershy said. "Even if they were evil like us." Rarity replied. "Darlings, while I was able to make those outfits all look rather fashionable, this is an episode in our lives I'd prefer we could move past." Twilight Sparkle smiled holding up a leather bound book with a rather graphic battle scene on the cover. "How about this RPG from Tirek? You play as Centaur Overlords trying to reconquer the world from the 'primitive equines?'" Rainbow Dash cheered. "... That sounds like great idea! NOT!!! BURN IT!" "One step ahead of you." Twilight said with a smile setting the cursed RPG book on fire. Session 47.2 Alex Warlorn "Dear Rarity Belle," AK Yearling wrote. "I can assure you, in my, research for Daring Do, I have never encountered Nightponies nor Wolfponies. Nor have I encountered any evidence to suggest they are real. While there have been theories about Thestral/Changeling and Earthpony/Diamond Dog halfbreeds, I have yet to encounter one. Should I ever, you will be the first to know. "And even if I knew who Midnight Heart was, as a author, I would not tell you. I must respect her privacy and desire not to be publicly known, something I can greatly appreciate. "But I will give you one piece of advice, there's a saying in the industry: 'writing a romance novel? Use an alias!'" + Rarity sighed. "Well, that was a dead end. Well, I have lost the battle, but I have not lost the war!" + "Mistress Rarity, Diamond Wolves have not found Wolfponies except in Dusk books. Great apologizes." Rarity's frozen north employee wrote. + Rarity sighed again. "And that one was no good." + "FOR THE LAST CLOPPING TIME! WE ARE NOT HALF NIGHTPONY! THOU SHALL CEASE IN THY QUESTIONS REGARDING THIS! WE ART SICK OF THIS! OUR SISTER CELESTIA AND WE ARE FULL BLOODED SISTERS! SUCH SCANDALOUS ACCUSATIONS WILL NOT BE HUMORED!" + Rarity's eyes bulged at the letter. "Well, I see I may have hit a nerve." + "We do not know of any creatures resembling the Nightponies. And I have no idea how you got my mailing address, we shall send a memory erasure squad at your home at our earliest, wait what? That's illegal now? Would be considered an act of war? No! Don't write that down you idiot!" + Rarity blinked at the letter. "Well, that was unexpected. Maybe I should ask Twilight to do some memory restoration sweeps around Ponyville just to be on the safe side." Thens he grinned. "And I bet if the Nightponies and wolfponies are real, we could find some hidden memories!" "Rarity! I thought we were gonna be playing Alicorn Princesses!" Sweetie protested. She'd drawn the next challenge card for her Princess Cadence figurine. 'Sing a beautiful musical number about something mundane.' (Sweetie had then proceeded to do a beautiful verse about tea time). "OH yes, sorry Sweetie, just checking my mail," She draw the card for Twilight Sparkle who she was playing as. "'Little Miss Perfect: invariably succeed at whatever challenge you try next.' Hm. I wonder if she'd take that as a stereotype or a compliment." Session 47.3 Alex Warlorn Sunny Flair, a visitor from a parallel world, was selling her new book, 'How To Make The Dungeon Master Your Slave.' It was awkward she was surrounded by four legged nudists, but when she insisted that she be paid in gems, ponies were more than happy to oblige, given their lower market value than on Earth. Forget how rare they were, the fact they formed in 'cut' shapes to begin with, already made them insanely lucrative to get here and then sell back on Earth. Apparently the pony clone of Twilight Sparkle and the Wondercolts were in this world's version of Canterlot where this world's Discord was going through a midlife crisis. (Sunny Flair had read the rumors online her Discord had once been under house arrest and rumors to have been principle of CHS before Celestia, like Sombra was apparently once principle of CP but those were all just rumors... like Vice Company President Chrysalis have mob connections). Sunny Flair was also surprised at how quickly she was able to get the book to print in an insanely fast amount of time, with some teenage mare with no legal background, apparently things were just... nicer here. "'How To Make The Dungeon Master Your Slave,' isn't that rather self defeating since you're a Dungeon Master yourself?" Asked a cool calm voice. Sunny Flair smiled. "Oh I've kept some counter strategies for myself, and my next book is going to be titled, 'How To Break The Wills Of Yours Players'." Sunny realized she knew that voice. "Uh-oh." The four legged naked except for her glasses Sugarcoat looked down at her. (Her name being ironic was rare indeed even here). "Where's Lemon Zest? Indigo Zap is looking for her." "The way you two keep coming back here for us, people might get some ideas." Sunny Flare managed to say. "I have a preference for both your company. And I believing running away does not solve problems. Now answer the question." "This line is for buy books." "And I will after you answer the question." "She wanted to go see that freaky chimera that wanted her as family." - "I am now a perfect daughter for a perfect being." Lemon Zap said, a grin on her face with pin pricks, her mind subsumed by Accord. "Yes. Join us. Join Accord." Princess Luna and Princess Twilight said. "This is not good." Indigo Zap said, this world of flying around naked not as cool as it had been a second ago. "Ya think?" This world's Rainbow Dash said her eyes glued on her brainwashed friend and Princess. Session 47.4 Ardashir "Hey, wait a minute," Rainbow Dash dodged a spell blast from Princess Twilight. "This is one odd time to be asking this, but where the heck are your other friends?" 'Equestria doesn't need any more problems right now'. "Those losers?" Indigo Zap sniffed as she dodged a spell blast from Princess Moon-butt, or whatever these horses called her. She made sure to cut it even closer than Dash's; like she'd let some primitive alien outdo her. Hey, life was competition, after all. And when you were the best you could afford to show off. "Sugarcoat is checking in on Sunny Flare back in Horseburg --" "Ponyville!" Another spellbolt sizzled by. Dash felt her mane scorch. "Yow!" "Whatever." Zap rolled her eyes. "I'm here, luckily for you since this way you get to bask in my awesomeness --" She lazily rolled to the side as Luna shot again. Dash wondered if she'd ever been that arrogant. Zap just kept talking. "And Sour Sweet is back in Ponyville. She's, like, supposed to keep an eye on the mirror gate from this end, but she's probably gonna end up challenging someone to a contest." Zap ducked another shot, and suddenly raced in to buck Luna in the jaw. Normally the Night Alicorn would never have felt it, but she was in the air and off balance. The kick sent her into Twilight, and sent them both crashing to the ground. "Yeah!" Zap hoof-pumped. She smirked at Dash. "Yeesh, why were you so scared of those two losers?" "Because it's not just those two --" "ACCEPT ACCORD!" A hundred voices thundered cheerily. Zap and Dash looked up to see what looked like a third of the Royal Guard, the Pegasus third flying at them with fixed maniacal grins. Zap and Dash looked at each other. "Time to run," Dash said. Zap's grin was almost as demented as one of Accord's ponies. "No, time to RACE!" She flew off with a wild laugh, whipping her tail up mockingly at the Guardsponies. Wondering which of them was crazier, Dash followed her. ### Meanwhile back at the Ponyville side of the Mirror Portal: "Yay! I win!" Archer stopped jumping up and down. The three targets she'd shot at, set against the back wall of the Friendship Palace, showed three arrows in their precise centers -- which had just been split down the middle by HER three arrows. "I do, right?" "Of course you do, sweetie," Sour Sweet said, one eye twitching. She'd been guarding the gate, but when she saw that foal practicing their archery... She snarled, "But don't depend on beginner's luck, kid!" Session 47.5 Mooncalf99 Trixie trotted down the stone path to her cottage with a spring in her step and a smile on her face. It was late, almost evening, and she was tired from a long day, but she was nonetheless in a good mood. She pushed the door open with her hoof, noticing a little too late that it wasn't closed properly, and stepped inside with a sigh of relief as it shut behind her. With a flick of her horn, she lit the candle... ...And the changeling looked back at her, teeth bared. "Welcome home... Trixie." "Eeee!" Trixie squealed in delight, her wings flaring with excitement. "Auntie! Moonlight, moonlight, fireflies alight..." she sang, hopping excitedly. Duchess Chrysalis obligingly joined in with the foalish dance and song. "Clap your hooves..." "And shake with all your might!" they finished together, shaking their tails about. They both laughed happily. "Haah... it's good to see you, my little princess," Chrysalis said, after catching her breath. "You're always so busy. Busy, busy, busy." "Auntie, please," Trixie admonished. "Just Trixie is fine. And there's a lot to do, running Equestria now that Sombra... now that..." She fell silent at the thought. "There, there." Chrysalis enveloped the young alicorn in a loving hug, chasing the sadness away. Changelings excelled at spreading love to the needy - a much-needed balm during those dark times of yesteryear, as well as now - and none was more adept than Duchess Chrysalis. "You know that he did it to save Celestia and Luna, and in turn all of us. And where there's life, there's hope. We'll find a way to save him." "I suppose," Trixie said with a wan smile. "I just miss him, that's all. The Sisters are doing their best to help, but it's not the same." "I'm just glad you managed to convince them that they didn't need to atone by punishment or exile or some other foolish thing," Chrysalis muttered. "Some ponies just can't grasp forgiveness. Besides, they're little use locked up in a dungeon when they could help others instead." "Ah, you always see the best in others," Trixie giggled. Chrysalis laughed. "I try. Now, let's put those gloomy feelings aside and focus on something more fun... like tonight's game! Did you prepare a character like I asked?" "Oh, yes!" Trixie said. "I have a few ideas, actually, but I need to know what kind of game we're playing." She grinned wryly. "So what's it going to be about? Uniting starcrossed lovers? Saving the orphanage? Rescuing kittens from trees?" Chrysalis gave her an unamused look. "Are you trying to make some kind of remark on my play style, young lady?" "I'm just saying, auntie," Trixie retorted glibly. "You do have a gift for... certain things, after all, and they've been known to crop up in the past. It's not bad, per se..." "Well, humph," Chrysalis muttered. "If you must know, I have been planning something more classic. Old school, if you prefer. A bit of simple hack and slash, exploring dungeons, fighting stereotypical villains." She grinned impishly. "But if you must bring it up... how are you doing on the romantic front? Any stallions catching your eye lately? Or mares? Hmm?" "Auntie, please!" Trixie said, blushing deep purple. "I'm just far too busy for that... that stuff!" "No such thing, dearie," Chrysalis chuckled. "You really should allow yourself a little fun once in a while. You're not getting any younger, you know." "I'm an immortal alicorn, auntie," Trixie said matter-of-factly. "I'm fairly certain I'm not getting any older either." "Yes, well, there are still opportunities every day and you are missing out," Chrysalis said. "I'll have time for that later, I'm sure. For now, it's enough to spend time with friends, like tonight." Trixie grinned and brought out her notes. "Now, I was thinking for a character..." A while later, the air in the middle of the room rippled and a lavender unicorn burst into existence. She immediately collapsed into a recliner. "Whoo. Girls, am I spent or what?" "Glimmy!" Trixie cheered. She rushed over and gave her friend a warm hug. "Busy day?" "Very much so," Starlight Glimmer groaned. "Very productive, though." "Do regale us with tales of Equestria's busiest life coach," Chrysalis said. She walked over to Trixie's kitchen nook to make some tea. Starlight took a deep breath and collected herself. "This morning, I was over in Our Town, where my friends were discussing plans for the new recreation center. Turns out that almost everypony had plans for different activities, and they couldn't decide exactly what the place should be set up for. Sugar Belle wanted a kitchen, Double Diamond wanted to turn the whole place into a gym, Party Favor had this idea for a theater, and Night Glider... well." She shook her head ruefully. "Everyone wanted their favorite thing and got into a fight over it when I got there." "So what did you choose?" Chrysalis said. "I didn't choose anything," Starlight said. "You can't just pick one thing over everything else in these situations, or a lot of ponies will be upset. Well, ponies, griffons, changelings, minotaurs... you know. And it's not my place to decide anyway. Instead I suggested a flexible setup with rooms that could be used for different things, so anypony could do anything they wanted." "Clever!" Trixie congratulated. "It's going to make the whole project a lot more difficult, though." "I have no doubt that they'll overcome those difficulties," Starlight said confidently. "Challenges bring out the best in all ponies, after all. Anyway, after that, I went to Ponyville Town Hall to hold a presentation on self-actualization." "Ponyville, huh..." Trixie mumbled. "Sadly, I didn't see any of those six," Starlight said, a touch of disappointment in her voice. "But it did go pretty well with those attending. At least until Big Macintosh showed up." "Oh dear," Chrysalis said. "Did he cause some kind of scene again?" "Not unless you consider hitting on me in the most crass and obvious ways possible to fit the bill," Starlight said, making a disgusted face. "That colt gives love a bad name," Chrysalis said dispprovingly. "It's a shame, really. If he'd keep his mouth shut and let his good looks do the work, he'd be neck deep in mares and stallions." "Yikes," Trixie muttered, blushing at the unbidden image. "So how did that go?" "Well, I finished the presentation fairly well despite his constant muscle flexing and mane flaring and constant talk, but of course he had to follow me out and keep going at it," Starlight continued. "But then we crossed paths with Sweetcream Scoops, and he took after her in a shot." "Predictable," Chrysalis muttered. "Points for challenging himself, though. There's a reason they call her 'Icecream Scoops'." "I thought that was because of her job?" Trixie asked. "No, dear, that's because she's really, really... well, let's just say he's not getting any there," Chrysalis said. "Get any what?" Trixie wondered. "Then I zoomed over to the Palomino desert!" Starlight continued quickly, averting a potentially embarrassing tangent. "Sunburst wanted my opinion on his latest spell project." "Oh dear," Chrysalis lamented. "What did that crazy colt come up with this time? Something that exploded?" "No," Starlight said. "Well, yes, but not intentionally." "Let me guess. Another bout of his 'throw magic at the wall and see what sticks'?" Trixie asked. "You know it," Starlight said. "Never planning, never researching, that guy. As soon as he comes up with a new idea, he has to test it right away, in the most volatile way possible. I keep telling him to check the books, see if somepony else has done the same thing and how that turned out. I tell him, 'You don't have to reinvent the wheel, Sunburst,' and he looks at me and asks..." "'Then how will we ever make a better wheel?' the trio said together. Starlight sighed. "Yeah." "You should ask him out on a date," Chrysalis suggested. "That would take his mind off things." "Chryssy, he's my friend," Starlight said pointedly. "I've known him all my life. Dating would be... awkward." "I admit, when I met him at first I thought you two were siblings," Trixie said. "I'm suprised you didn't bring him along tonight, honestly. Have you two ever been apart for more than a day?" "I was going to, but... skin grafts, you know. Don't ask." She shook her head. "And yes, we have. There was that time he got his cutie mark and his parents whisked him away to Canterlot, and... that was the most terrifying time of my life, ever." She paused somberly. "But then he came back three days later and couldn't stop talking about everything he'd seen and heard and begged me to come and join him. And when I realized how happy he was... that's when I got this." She patted her own cutie mark lovingly. "Ah, yes. Your talent for bringing out the uniqueness and personal potential in yourself and others," Chrysalis said. "So, your date..." "NO!" Starlight said. "Chrysalis, I said. We're friends." "Yes, which is an excellent place to start," Chrysalis persevered. "It certainly beats trying to date your enemies." She paused. "Though it might just work for Trixie..." "I have no intention of dating Twilight Sparkle," Trixie said tersely. This was not the first time the topic had come up. "You're not really connecting with that mare with your usual approach, though," Chrysalis argued. "Maybe you could catch her by surprise with a clever seduc--" "La la la not listening!" Trixie sang loudly, covering her ears. "Not listening at all!" "Maybe we can focus on what we came here for, instead of... embarrassing distractions," Starlight suggested. "Oh, you two are no fun," Chrysalis pouted. "A nice date or two would do you good. But, whatever you say." "Good, good," Starlight said, mollified. "I was thinking of playing a ranger this time. And how many sacred vows will Trixie's monk have?" "No, I'm going to try something new this time," Trixie corrected her. "You know, seeing as how we were going to play a classic setup, with bad guys and good guys..." The room was suddenly cut through by a bolt of plaid lightning, sending papers flying and furniture rocking. A tall, imposing figure in red and purple costume stepped out of the chaos, striking a heroic pose as everything returned to normal behind him. "Did somepony call for... a good guy?" "Captain Goodguy!" Trixie exclaimed. Sure enough, it was the hero in question, in all his tall and mismatched draconequusish glory. "Thank goodness you're here!" "Have no fear, dear princess," Captain Goodguy said boldly, shifting from his heroic pose into a different heroic pose. "Now, how can I help?" "Actually, I'm sure everything is under control here, captain," Chrysalis said, stifling a giggle. "We were actually waiting for our friend Sir Discord to join us for tonight's game..." "Ah, my upstanding and noble sponsor and friend, who's far too modest and reserved to ever join me for those photo shoots, much to the lament of our many admirers and the occasional unreliable conspiracy theorist," Captain Goodguy declared heroically. "No doubt he's on his way here, but got intercepted by some puppies in need of rescuing. Goodness knows that happens to me far more often than it should." He paused. "Seriously, though. What is it with the puppies in this town?" "Well, it would be nice if he'd get over here sometime soon," Chrysalis said, still grinning widely. "We do have some things planned. Besides, it's hardly proper to keep ladies waiting, no?" "You are entirely right, most esteemed duchess, and--" His eyes suddenly widened, and he pointed at nothing in particular behind them. "Now, what is that distracting thing?" With the three girls conveniently distracted, Captain Goodguy dodged into a convenient phone booth (the lack of existing public telephone service in Equestria nonwithstanding), and Sir Discord stepped out, adjusting his glasses carefully. "Hey, girls. Sorry I'm late!" "Discord!" Trixie exclaimed. Sure enough, it was the unassuming Canterlot philanthropist in question, in all his nebbish and mid-mannered draconequuish glory. "Thank goodness you're here. We were wondering what kept you!" "Oh, you know how it is, holdups, trains running late, puppies," Discord said, waving his paw dismissively. "It's awfully time-consuming, being a full-time freelance photographer, newspaper journalist, lazy billionaire with no day job, and newspaper delivery colt. Though my claw is healing nicely after that haycart driving accident, so I may not have to give up my job as a surgeon after all." "Good to hear," Starlight agreed. "Can't have you wasting time developing a self-destructive drinking habit or whatever it is you're supposed to have these days. I won't stand for it. Addiction will never bring out your potential." "Too true," Discord agreed. "I don't need anything tragic like that, anyway. Speaking of which, my parents send their regards. They're quite happy and healthy on their farm, along with my uncle who taught me about responsibility. I did have to get rid of their fridge, though, just in case..." "Discord, I think that's enough pointless lampshading," Chrysalis said. "Aw, but they brighten up the room so well," Discord protested. He chucked the remaining shades into a closet. "Maybe you should get a proper rug, Trixie. One that really ties the room together. I know this guy..." "Discord," Chrysalis interrupted him, again. "Didn't I ask you for a favor earlier? You didn't forget, did you?" "Favor? A favor? I don't remember...oh!" Discord facepawed. "Oh no, it completely slipped my mind! Oh, he must be all alone up in the--hehehe! Kidding!" He blew the changeling matriarch a playful raspberry. "Of course I remembered. He's just getting some more snacks, since I couldn't remember if Trixie lived on only water and unflavored bread or not." "I'm not completely ascetic," Trixie protested. "I just like to keep my meals simple, and... wait, who's coming?" The door suddenly swung open, and a tall and proud changeling stepped inside. His black chitin gleamed healthily, and his wings buzzed with excitement. Several bags of snacks and other gaming supplies hovered behind him. "Hey, hey, hey, guess who's back in town?" "Thorax!" Trixie squealed, and leapt at the changeling, catching him in a strong hug. "Aw, you're back! I thought you were on assignment up north!" "Missed you too, little honorary broodmate cousin," Thorax said, hugging her back. He grinned at Chrysalis. "Hi, mom." "It's so good to see you again, sweetheart," Chrysalis said, her motherly love almost tangible, even for non-changelings. "Look at you. Have you gotten taller?" "Aw, mom..." Thorax mumbled bashfully. Parental embarrassment wasn't restricted to just ponies, after all. "So how are things looking up north?" Starlight inquired, hoping that a change in topic might save the young changeling from further torment. "Not too good, I'm afraid," Thorax said, taking a seat next to Chrysalis. "The Empress is as strong as ever with the Crystal Heart in her hooves, and the Sisters' change only drove her to fortify her position further, fearing that we'll 'corrupt' her too. And she recently had a foal, too. With that stallion she keeps around..." "Shining Armor," Trixie mumbled sorrowfully. "Sparkle's brother. Poor soul..." "Right," Thorax said. "Apparently she kept the pregnancy secret up until the last moment. As for the foal, there's a lot of rumors buzzing about among Cadenza's slaves. That it's actually an alicorn, or a mindless berserker trained to fight from the womb, or... other things. Sadly, I haven't been able to get close enough to see for myself. I tried to ingratiate myself with Shining Armor earlier, since I assumed he'd be her greatest victim and would fight back the hardest, but..." He shook his head. "The poor stallion's so brainwashed, he's besotted. He genuinely thinks she loves him. I nearly lost my wings before I managed to escape." "Oh my dear heart!" Chrysalis exclaimed in horror. She quickly ran a hoof over his back to reassure herself that he was whole and healthy after all. "That was a bad idea, son. Do you want to give me a heart attack?" "Don't worry, mom," Thorax said dismissively. "Once the heat's died down, I'll come up with a new cover and try a different approach!" "You'll do no such thing!" Chrysalis almost screeched. "I won't risk you again. I'll have a talk with Vordul and he'll find you a nice, safe assignment somewhere you won't risk anything." Thorax shook his head. "Mom, you know you can't do that. I'm the only changeling with the skills for this job. Who'd do it in my place? Imago? Pupa? Vordul?" He laughed. "Brother may be brilliant, but master spy he is not. And the rest of the family... no, it's got to be me." "I just don't want any of my children to get hurt," Chrysalis said. "Is that too much to ask for?" "Yeah, but..." Thorax mumbled. "Hey, maybe we could focus on the game we're here for instead?" Trixie interrupted. "I did pull a few strings to get the evening off and all. And Blueblood's managing the soup kitchen well enough, but there's still a lot to do, and..." "Oh, you just don't want to hear about him getting into trouble either," Discord mumbled softly so only she could hear. Louder, he said, "Yes, let's have some fun now that we're all gathered! So, kindest and dearest Oubliette Overseer, what sort of adventure can we look forward to tonight?" "Oh, you are going to like this," Chrysalis said, picking up her notes as she mentally shuffled away her family woes for later. "It's a tale of adventure, intrigue, and cunning. You four will be called upon to infiltrate the fortress of a terrible tyrant to save the captive heroes of the land." "Ooh, I like it," Starlight cooed. "Unlikely heroes standing strong when the call for aid is heard? That's gold." "Well, my wizard should be able to handle anything you can throw at us," Discord said. "I did spend quite a bit of work rolling him up and all." Chrysalis chuckled almost malevolently, an eerie tone coming from her. "Don't be too sure about that, because I have... ways to counter that. Let's hope you have some other tricks up your sleeve." "Ooh, that sounds ominous!" Trixie said enthusiastically. "Well, um... Trixie is ready for anything! I hope," she added bashfully. "Good, good." Chrysalis rubbed her hooves together with a giggle. "All right, Trixie and Starlight, you're currently in a small village, and have returned from a long journey..." (Inspired by Tales From The Dark Side Of The Mirror by GrimWolf) Session 47.6 Mooncalf99 The lone changeling courier landed on the roof of Duchess Chrysalis' hive lair (actually a rather nice countryside manor, but she'd had to at least pretend to oblige some of the more hidebound traditions of her rival courts), and made his way to the intelligence central, and also kitchen. "Hey, report for you, Big V," he chirped snarkily as he dropped a stack of papers on the messy counter. Vordul just rolled his eyes at the double-meaning nickname. "Thanks, Memb. Punctual as usual, bro." He gave the other changeling a hoofbump and a burst of familial love. "You heading out again?" "Yeah, I have to get back to my team," Membrane said, energetic as ever. Nothing invigorated like a helping of appreciation for a job well done. "Hey, where's mom?" "In Canterlot, hanging out with her friends and goofing off while we lowly drones have to work our chitin off, running the hive," Vordul said with a good-natured laugh. "By the way, Thorax is back from the north." "Really? Wow, I haven't seen the little grub in ages," Membrane said. "Maybe I'll catch up with him later." He shrugged and left. Vordul gazed after his brother, wistfully wondering what it would be like to work in the field, and be able run fast and be slim. Unfortunately, his duties kept him stranded smack dab in Love Central, where just the ambient love energies passing back and forth was enough to gorge him. (Although his addiction to rich pony food might have been a contributing factor. Say what you want, but 'cooking with love' would always mean 'deep-frying in boiling oil'.) Thus they called him 'Big V' for reasons beside his authority. Vordul took the latest reports in hoof and began analyzing them even as his magic almost autonomously levitated three deep-friend carrots into his gluttonous maw. Scanning each paragraph methodically, his razor-sharp brain absorbed each piece of info down to its vital elements, cross-referenced it against previously gathered facts, sought out connections, and made projections for the future. "Empire's still a threat, huh..." he muttered. Need more data, maybe someling who can be subtle for once... Thorax klutzed up, so Pinkflank's gonna be on alert for a while. Need to send a diplomat to the Yaks, figure out how they operate... and if they're thinking of allying with the Empire. Sure, Pinkflank prefers brainwashed slaves to actual allies, but you never know... Spinnerette can do it, especially if we need to wreck a preexisting alliance. And these Diamond Wolves... all current evidence indicate a negligible factor with no strong connections, but the Empire may be able to buy their support, especially if they're like the Diamond Dogs... but then, so could we. We could probably get the hard facts on them from the Diamond Dogs, and we do need to reinforce that alliance soon anyway... He grinned. "Of course... Imago." New plan formed in full, the changeling strategist scrawled down the vital decisions on order papers and signaled for a courier to carry them out. Stuffing his mouth full of deep-fried apples and deep-fried fries (his own contribution to the culinary arts: double deep-frying. Obvious in hindsight, really.) and set out on the most challenging part of his plan: actually walking all the way to Imago's room. He was just relieved it didn't involve stairs - his personal nemesis. (In Vordul's mind, Empress Cadenza was at best the second greatest terror of the Frozen North.) One arduous trek to the other side of the manor later, he was knocking on his sister's door. "Hey, Imago. Imago? I've got a job for you." The door swung open reluctantly, revealing his sister. Imago was every inch a changeling matriarch in the making: beautiful, graceful and captivating, with impeccably maintained chitin and mane, both of which nonetheless conveyed that 'not making an effort' kind of beauty. But then, she could be nothing else - mother had spared no effort in grooming her to be her successor and future ruler of the hive when she herself eventually retired to enjoy her golden years in peace. (Of course, as a proper changeling queen she was immortal, so she'd have a lot of those years.) If Vordul hadn't been a creature who lived and breathed love and affection, he might have been jealous of his sister's grace, beauty and ability to walk more than a hundred feet without stopping to catch her breath. As it were, he was simply proud to have her as his sister. Of course, all changelings in the hive were his brothers and sisters, since they had the same mother (who made it abundantly clear that she loved each and every one of them from the very bottom of her heart, noling lesser than any other), but he and Imago had hatched together, and grown up close together. They had always had a special bond. "Hey, Immy," he said. "Hey, Vordy," she replied. "You have barbecue sauce all over your face." "...Oh," he mumbled in shame. Inwards, he cursed himself. Mom may have given up on trying to squash his habit of pigging out, but she nonetheless persisted in insisting that he'd keep himself clean when he was among others. And here he was, a complete mess in front of his favorite sibling. Grossing out your sister was something you did when you were a larva, not a proper adult. "Come here, you." Imago magicked up a napkin and wiped him clean. "There, that's better. Now what brought you here, Vordy?" "I need you to go on a diplomatic mission," Vordul said reluctantly. He never felt comfortable giving orders to his sister, even if it was his job. "A trip to the Diamond Dog Warrens, making sure we're on good terms and stuff." "Oh," she said, her voice filled with the lack of enthusiasm. "Okay." "I'll have an escort ready so you can set out in the morning," he continued, a little disconcerted by her response. "Some attendants to make sure the dogs take you seriously, too. And we're gonna need some intel, so I'm sending a diplomat or two with you. You can coordinate with them if you want to do the fact gathering yourself and not just play goodwill ambassador. Could be fun." "Fun, right," Imago muttered, practically not at all leaping with excitement. "Anything else?" "Not really," he said uncertainly. "It's not much of an assignment, but I figured you'd enjoy the practice. You know, preparing for the day when you're in charge." "Yeah... great," she mumbled with all the excitement of a bowl of tepid gruel. "Okay, see you in the morning." She slammed the door shut in his face. Vordul stumbled back, feeling more discombobulated than that time when he'd tried some griffon delicacy involving fish that had been buried for seven years. Imago was clearly not facing this assignment with the enthusiasm he'd expected. She had been moping a lot lately, which he had ascribed to the boredom of not getting anything important to do. But then she should have felt better with this, which she didn't. So that hypothesis was right out. And she hadn't played her guitar in months, which was a real drag. He loved some music. Once, mom had invited Maud Pie - aka the Element of Good Cheer - over, and they had practically blown the roof off the house. Good times. He banged on Imago's door again. The facts were incontrovertible - sis was not feeling well. Imago opened the door, staring blearily at him. "What do you want now, Vordul? I was trying to sleep." "How are you feeling, sis?" he asked earnestly. "Uh, tired?" she replied. "Leave me alone." "Something's bothering you, isn't it?" he asked. "I'm fine, Vordul," she said with rising annoyance. "No, you're not," he replied. He stuck out a hoof, preventing the door from closing. "Go away, Vordul," she said angrily. "Hmm... no," he said. He stepped forward into her room. Corpulence did have a few benefits, one of which being that a lightweight like Imago couldn't really stop his momentum. "Get out of my room, Vordul!" she yelled. "Since when have you ever wanted to keep me out, sis?" he persisted. "Since NOW, you big... you... you... you," she finished lamely. It was time for the secret weapon. He stepped forward and enveloped Imago in a warm hug, sharing his pure and unadulterated love for his sister. He usually kept it reined in, because it packed quite a punch, but right now... she needed it. "I want to help you, Immy," he said softly. "But I can't do that if I don't know how to do that. You need to tell me. Please." She began sobbing softly. "That was low, Vordy..." "Sorry," he mumbled, patting her gently on the back. "Promise you won't tell mom," she said. "...What?" he blinked in confusion. Since when did they keep secrets from their mom? "Promise you won't tell any of this to mom," she repeated. "Or anyling else. Or any pony or... you know, anything else." "Okay, I promise," he said earnestly. Imago was silent for a moment before speaking. "Do you like doing what you do, Vordul? I mean, the strategizing and gathering reports and stuff? Could you see yourself doing it for the rest of your life?" "Well, sure," he replied, bemused. "It's fun. And it's useful for the hive." . "Right, fun," Imago muttered. "Useful. Do you think the others like their jobs too? Thorax, Membrane, Mandible, Spinnerette... mom?" "...Probably?" he ventured. "I can't say for sure unless I actually ask them. Where are you going with this?" "Vordul, I don't want to rule the hive," Imago stated. Vordul stared at her. He opened his mouth to speak, then closed it again when he couldn't find the right words to say. Or, for that matter, the right words to understand. "What? he finally asked." "Vordy, I don't want to take over the hive after mom," Imago elaborated. "I don't want to be in charge. I don't want the responsibility." She took a deep breath. "Just the thought of having to make all the decisions... everyling expecting me to know what to do... having to deal with every problem, every consequence... just thinking about it keeps me up at night, Vordy. And then there's dealing with the other courts! They're not nice changelings, Vordy..." "Then what do you want to do instead?" Vordul asked. "Dunno," Imago admitted. "Live by myself, maybe. Go among the ponies like mom did for a while. Perhaps become a school teacher, surround myself with little grubs... I mean foals. Something simple." She sighed. "Ponies have it good. They can be whatever they want to be. They don't get hatched into the life someling else planned for them." "I've been told nopony asked cousin Trixie if she actually wanted to become an alicorn," Vordul pointed out. Trixie wasn't a changeling in the strictly biological sense, but their mother had 'foalsat' her - played with her, taught her things, kept her safe, the same way she did with her own spawn - so she was generally regarded as family, at least informally. "Trixie's an alicorn princess," Imago pointed out. "That's way different from a regular pony. Noling - nopony - tells a princess what they can and can't do. Could you imagine a pony telling Empress Cadenza she can't enslave ponies and hunt changelings?" "You can't compare Trixie with Pinkflank," Vordul protested. "Trixie's no monster, she's nice." "Beside the point," Imago protested. "And if some evil thing infected her with evil like what happened with King Sombra, she'd become a monster like Cadenza." Vordul hung his head. "Okay, you have a point. But, look. Even if mom likes to go by the title King Sombra gave her, she's technically a changeling queen by old agreement. And that means you'll be one, too. And queens have equal status to alicorns. So no one has any authority to tell you what to do, either." "But I'd still have the burden of leadership," Imago said simply. Vordul was quiet. She was right. No matter how he looked at it, it all came back to that one point, and there was no talking around it. "Yeah... you're right, Immy. I don't know what to say. I'm... sorry." She hugged him back with some of her own love. "It's okay, Vordy. You don't have to fix every problem. Some problems can't be fixed." "Yeah, no, I refuse to believe that," he scoffed. "Imago, you should tell mom about this." "No way!" She let go of him so she could look him straight in the eye. "She'd go nuts! She's always saying how proud she is of me, how I'll lead the hive to even greater heights, how she trusts me to follow in her hoofsteps and how she looks forward to passing on the duty... I can't disappoint her like that! she'd... she'd hate me forever." Oh, wow, Vordul thought to himself. Now things are getting clearer. Mom definitely needs to know. "Immy, mom loves us, right? More than anything, right?" "Well, yes..." Imago said uncertainly. "Do you really think she'd want you to be miserable just so she could retire?" he asked. "I suppose not..." Imago admitted. "Because I'd never do that," he said. "And I'm pretty sure she loves you even more than I do." He grinned. "And she's got lots of smart pony friends. They'll figure something out." "Well..." for several seconds, Imago remained uncertain, before she finally let out a deep breath. "Oh, fine. I'll tell mom. But if she locks me up in a volcano for a thousand years, I'm so getting back at you." She grinned at him. "Guess you win again, Big V." "Hey, don't you start," he said mockingly. "Yeah, well, get out of my room," she replied. When he stared at her, she continued, "What? I'll need some sleep if I'm going to wow those dogs tomorrow. Diplomacy - now that I can do!" Session 47.7 QuartzScale The day in Canterlot was getting worse as the armies of Accord stood around drawing in those that were too slow to get away. Even Princess Luna and Princess Twilight were caught earlier that day Though that wasn’t what was so important. What was important were the two stallions sitting outside of Pony Joe’s eating donuts and drinking coffee. “So what do you think of the weather so far?” Coffee Swirl ate one of the bear claws while placing his piece down. It was nothing more than a simple game of checkers they were playing. “It’s been a bit warm lately. I think we need a bit more rain but that’s just me.” He countered the move while drinking from his still warm coffee. The cinnamon aftertaste drew a smile to his face. “We should really do a joint venture one of these days. I think with my coffee making skills and your confectioner skills we could probably get bigger or something to that effect.” Swirl looked at the board and moved a piece back destroying his combo. “Maybe but first we need to figure out what could be on that menu.” Joe kept his eyes on the board and started his sacrificial play. “Join Accord!” Shouted eighty different ponies that had surrounded them. “Already did. We got the pamphlet. Don’t worry we all know the glory of Accord.” Swirl said as he held up a stack of paper. Joe merely smiled and nodded. Several of the Accordized ponies looked utterly confused before shrugging and leaving the two to their games. Joe took another of his donuts eating them heartily while all around them was chaos. “I will never get how you managed to trick them like that.” Joe chuckled slightly. “Beats me. For a perfect being he sure seems to go on blind faith a lot. Besides… this paper had nothing on it anyways.” Swirl smugly stated. For the rest of the day none of the Accordized ponies tried to capture Coffee Swirl or Pony Joe. To this day even Discord is confused on how he overlooked them. Maybe no one will ever know the truth. Session 47.8 Alex Warlorn Princess Celestia walked into her sister's bedroom to wish her good day but instead found Luna hunched over a very large table. On the table itself were countless dolls of the ponies and other creatures of Equestria, each other big enough to easy fit on one hoof. They also were more equine looking than Equestrian ponies, and also had more chibi different proportions. That wasn't so shocking, given all things, what WAS shocking was all the tiny toys were MOVING. And they were SPEAKING a strange little language that appeared to be incompressible babble. "Now let us see... Soarin' and Spitfire together... and Rainbow Dash with Soarin', and Quibble Pants, and Quibble Pants with Daring Do. And Daring Do with-" Luna spoke as she placed the toy ponies next to each other, who immediately began to talk to each other in their strange language. Soarin' was being kissed by both Spitfire and Rainbow Dash. While Rainbow Dash was kissing both Soarin' and Quibble Pants. Who himself was also kissing Daring Do. "Sister!" Celestia gasped. "What manner of dark magic is this?! Is this Zebra Voodoo you enact?!" Luna saw her sister, considered for one moment to hide her playthings, then realized the futility of it, and simply said, "Hello sister! And nay, tis' not sympathetic magic. Tis' merely a game." "And what game would THAT be?" Celestia asked. She spotted, and blushed as she saw Tiny Big Mac dogpiled by several Tiny mares, including a little replica of Luna herself! "Tis called 'All The Little Ponies.' Twas a gift from Discord, would we are hesitant to trust any gift from him, this one has proven very interesting." "And WHAT is the OBJECT of that game?" She saw Button Mash hugging Sweetie Belle and Ruby Pinch. While Sweetie was also hugging Spike, who was also hugging Scootaloo. "Tis' simple sister. According to modern playwrites of the up and coming generation 'threesomes solve everything' ... The point of the game, is to connect every pony with as many soul makes as possible, until every pony is somehow connected to everypony else." Tiny Trixie was playing with Tiny Blueblood. "Sister! How can ye toy with the relationships of others so?" "Did not ye breed bloodlines to produce bearers of the Elements of Harmony?" Celestia's face blushed. "Luna I have never treated my ponies as live stock or pets to be bred." "Ye did not say 'no'." "Luna! The point is that you can certainly sense the innate magic coming from these little creatures. Whatever grants them life, tis it truly your right to play with their lives? Such as they are?" "Sister, they can not even perceive our existence, and tis not like we are torturing them. We seek merely to bring them together for maximum happiness." Princess Luna pushed Tiny Zephyr Breeze and Tiny Rainbow Dash together. Tiny Zephyr Breeze kissed Tiny Rainbow Dash on the lips. Tiny Rainbow Dash responded by burying Tiny Zephyr Breeze head first in the table top. "... That one may be harder than we thought." Session 47.9 Kendell2 "Ugh..." Adagio muttered, handing Chrysalis a new disc. "Here you go...ugh...I feel like I need to go to the dentist..." "Seriously, it feels so weird to sing something happy and sweet...and NOT have some ironic malice to it..." Aria muttered. "I liked it!" Sonata exclaimed happily. Chrysalis shrugged. "If it will stop Ira from undoing our efforts to change our image, it doesn't matter." "Was it REALLY that bad?" Aria asked. "Our games were so violently terrifying that our main buying base were death row inmates," Chrysalis replied flatly. "So yes, it WAS that bad." Chrysalis sighed. "Anyway, we just posted the call for the closed early Alpha testing." Discord had been able to handle the programming, but the design needed some...work. Discord was capable of a great many things, but cute and nonthreatening was not one of them. Unless they should be terrifying and frightening. Which was why one of the pets in World of Horsecraft was a LITERAL killer bunny. So they'd gotten Thorax and several others to do the design, including a local designer that would be getting an ingame NPC. A big part of the game was interpersonal relationships, which were built and expanded as the game went on. There were competitions, but they were designed with sportsmanship in mind. Poor sportsmanship was punished while good sportsmanship upped 'friendship points' received, which could be used to unlock various things to customize with. Of course, being a Crystal Soft game, there was also plenty of accessories, building components, and other such things to buy with real money. As well as expansions. But given the entire game was meant to be a relaxing getaway in a stress free environment, it'd been decided that hiding anything a causal gamer needed behind a pay wall would hurt sells rather than help them, especially because the base game wasn't free to play. A life sim lived and died off how much the player could do with their character and their life, since there weren't monsters to kill. Not that there wouldn't be plenty of goodies to buy. "Now we just need to wait for people to sign up for the slots..." Chrysalis finished. "HI!" "AH!" Chrysalis screamed as the human Pinkie Pie suddenly popped up next to her out of nowhere. "AH!" the sirens collectively screamed. "AH!" the pink girl yelled back. "AHH!" "AHH!" "AHHH!" "AHHHH!" "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" After getting over the shock and catching their breath, Chrysalis glared at Pinkie, who (along with Sonata) seemed to have ENJOYED the fright more than anything. "Who are you?!" "I'm Pinkamena Diane Pie! But you can call me Pinkie Pie!" Pinkie Pie replied. She then held up a printed paper with the call for game testers on it. "I saw you were signing up game testers for this cool sounding game! So I decided to come over and sign up right now!" "You could've just signed up online..." Chrysalis replied, still trying to catch her breath. "I know! But this game was so awesome I wanted to make sure I got a spot!" Pinkie replied. "I also want to reserve a spot for some friends of mine, if that's okay!" "...Fine..." Chrysalis said, handing her several forms she filled out insanely quickly. "Thanks!" she replied, then looked to the Sirens. "Hey girls!" Adagio snarled and glared. "Hey!" Sonata said, waving cheerfully while Aria seemed...bitterly apathetic. "See you when the testing starts!" Pinkie Pie called back and slowly lowered out of view beside Chrysalis' desk. The vice president looked over and went wide eyed when she saw nothing. She checked the camera and the girl had just...vanished. "What...how...why..." "...The answer is Pinkie Pie...trust us, that girl is as easy to figure out as Sonata...if you're NOT her sisters," Adagio replied with an annoyed sigh while Sonata continued being Sonata. Session 47.10 Mtangalion Windy Whisper hung upside-down in her cave, suspended over a writing desk stocked with plenty of quills, ink, and parchment. It wasn’t a diabolical trap created by Miss Spell to teach Daydream Doo proper penponyship; the young thestral really did prefer to write this way. Her favorite quill floated and danced in a steady stream of wind, scratching out letters as elegantly as any unicorn could do it. “Silver Crystal gasped, her heart hammering as she huddled against Redpaw’s solid muscular flank. Even his thick soft coat and the furnace heat of his body gave her little comfort, now. ‘What an awful doom to fall upon us!’ she breathed. ‘Who knew that Prince Ebon Shine’s nightpony powers could be so strong? Even your wolfpony strength couldn’t possibly move that boulder!’” Windy paused, quill hovering. Of course, it would have been even better to write her newest novel while actually flying, but she didn’t want to bump into any more curious pegasi, or worse, a certain white unicorn. “Redpaw snorted, tapping his hoof with a force that shook every loose pebble in the cave. ‘Now, who said anything about me needing to become a wolf to move it?’” Windy squealed and sighed dreamily, despite herself, and right then… of course it would be right then, she was startled right out of the zone by the sound of hoofsteps on her cavern floor. No one should have been able to slip through her air currents to get this close without her feeling it. The only other pony she could even imagine weaving wind so gracefully was… oh. “Hey, Windy!” said Rainbow Dash’s scratchy voice. The blue pegasus stepped into the circle of candlelight below her. “Um, how’s it hanging?” She cringed the moment the words were out of her mouth. “That wasn’t a thestral joke! Seriously, I have no idea how you guys stick to ceilings like that.” Windy fumed, hissing. “Did you get up before dawn just for wisecracks, Dash? Why don’t you come up here where my hoof can reach your face, and I’ll give you a real close look!” “Because if I flew, I’d wind up reading all your stuff!” Dash sighed and kicked a loose pebble. “Again. I just thought… Ugh, this was a terrible idea. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to bug you while you’re working. I’ll go now.” Windy, still upside-down, watched the pegasus turn to leave. Wait, wait a moment… Back then, when she’d gotten careless and Rainbow had read her writing, there hadn’t been a problem. Dash didn’t read ‘mushy stuff’ like romance novels. She didn’t know what she’d read. But... that was no longer the case now, was it? Rainbow came to Dusklight game night. She knew enough to propose new rules and cards for the game. Windy suddenly felt like a huge idiot. “Dash, wait!” Windy spread her leathery wings and dropped, flapping a couple times to somersault and land hooves on the cave floor. “How long have you known?” Most ponies with a secret would have managed to say “Known what?” Some could even make it sound convincing. Rainbow Dash winced like a filly with her hoof firmly in the cookie jar. Great, just great. Windy sighed. “Relax, I’m not gonna bite your head off. We don’t do that any more.” She laughed lamely at her own joke, then coughed and gestured. “Sit. And, thanks for keeping quiet about it. Seriously.” Dash prodded the closest couch, curious, then hopped on, bouncing a little. “Huh. You have nice couches like this in a cave?” Windy put her rough draft away in the desk so nopony would be sneaking any more peeks, and then she took two apples out of her icebox, tossing one at Dash, and savagely biting into the other. “I told you already, thestrals like caves. So? Are you gonna tell me?” Dash caught the apple easily, of course, but she turned it over in her hooves, not eating it yet. “Okay, so… There’s this live comedy act in Cloudsdale. Mystery Drama Book Club 1000. After a big show, me and the other Wonderbolts like to go to the bars and celebrate, and we thought we’d check this show out.” The name was vaguely familiar, but Windy couldn’t recall much else. “And?” “They play this game with the audience. Folks who want to win a prize have to read from a book or fanzine, with all the cast members shouting out ridiculous things, and the rest of the audience all laughing their flanks off. Like, Soarin’ had to read this story where the Power Ponies all drink love poison by mistake, and he didn’t even last five minutes!” Rainbow giggled, just remembering it. “But then I got…” Windy flopped on the couch next to her. “Let me guess. One of mine?” Dash sighed. “Dusklight: Waxing Gibbous.” Windy put a hoof on Dash’s shoulder. “I am so, so sorry.” “What are you apologizing for? I’m the one who’s trying to apologize! At first, it was like the worst tickle torture, trying not to laugh.” Dash waved a hoof dramatically. “Straight Edge loomed over her bed powerfully, his long, roguish mane casting his face half in mysterious shadow. ‘I want you, Crystal,’ he growled, ‘I need you! I had to watch you sleeping all night long, to make sure you were safe!’ Then Crystal put a hoof to her chest, her heart pounding, stammering, ‘Oh Straight Edge, I need…’” “A restraining order?” quipped Windy. Dash snerked, and laughed despite herself. “You’re pretty good at that!” Then her face fell when she remembered what she’d been talking about. “But then I read more character names, and realized it was your story, and suddenly it wasn’t so funny any more.” She sighed. “I won a jar of Zap Apple Jam. I didn’t spill the beans to anypony, though, even though I was drunk! Thestrals like caves, and Loyalty doesn’t betray a friend’s trust!” She looked at the apple in her hooves again, and took a bite out of it. Windy nibbled thoughtfully at her own apple, which was mostly drained of its juices by now. A friend? Were they, really? When had that happened? “If it makes you feel any better, that first trilogy even makes me cringe now.” Rainbow blinked. “But… how can you say that? They’re your stories! They’ve sold like a million copies!” Windy smiled, shaking her head. “How good is the first story you ever wrote? They’re crap. Very popular, very titillating crap, but crap all the same. You know what’s the best advice that anypony has ever given me? The agent for my very first book, when she said…” She affected a sour face with a nasal voice. “It’s a romance novel, hon. Use a pen name. Don’t ask, just do it.” Windy lobbed her apple at a trash can behind her head; the apple knocked into it and spun around the rim twice before falling in. “When I got better at writing… I still won’t say good! … I realized how bad they were, and I got so mad. I felt like my whole career was some joke that nopony had let me in on. I even wanted to write a book where all the main characters died horribly, just so I’d never have to write them again.” Rainbow gawked at her. “You wouldn’t. There’d be riots, even I get that.” Windy laughed. “A thousand mares dressed in black, storming the Night Court to demand a proclamation from Princess Luna declaring the book Non-Canon? Aren’t you glad she talked me out of it, and suggested I take a vacation instead? Obviously, getting me to make friends with you guys was her plan all along, that sneaky conniving b...” (I admit nothing) said Luna’s amused voice in the back of Windy’s head. “... beneficent Princess of the Night!” finished Windy, sweating a bit. Someday, the young thestral vowed, she’d learn not to say… that name, when she didn’t want Her Dark Majesty’s personal attention. Rainbow Dash yawned, then stretched, brightening up a bit. “You know, if you ever need help with something, like making excuses to Rarity, or even proofreading…” Windy raised a hoof. “Let me stop you right there, Dash. Dusklight is worth a lot of bits to a lot of ponies. You’d have to read the draft in a locked room, after you signed papers agreeing that you’d be so very screwed if anything leaked because of you.” She smirked. “Aren’t you glad you only write fanfiction now?” Dash made an appalled face, then laughed, nudging her. “You know, Windy? You’re alright.” Windy raised an eyebrow. “For a thestral?” “For a pony who went out of her way to annoy me when we first met!” countered Dash. Now it was Windy’s turn to blush. “But seriously, what are you gonna do if Rarity starts closing in on ‘Midnight Heart’? She’s pretty good at that detective stuff.” Windy Whisper… still didn’t have any good answer for that.