Berry Punch grumbled as she cleaned up the shattered glass behind the bar.
When Pinkie had asked her to help out with the Gala, she had expected a fairly high class function. Not her drunk friends smooching random stallions and knocking bottles of expensive booze over.
At least Berry was off the clock now, the Gala having officially ended, and the last of the guests had departed the hall. She could finally have a little bit of a drink as a reward for the night.
Well, almost all of the guests were gone.
One very large, very sullen white alicorn sat on the comically too-small-for-her-plot stool, nursing another drink Berry had mixed for her. The alicorn had tested the earth pony’s bartending memory, asking for multiple obscure drinks Berry was certain had gone out of fashion centuries ago.
The alicorn didn’t look like she was going to leave anytime soon, so Berry poured herself a scotch, and stood in front of the princess.
“So, what’s got you all upset?” Berry asked with as much grace and etiquette she could muster at this time of night.
“Hmmm?” Celestia looked up. “Oh, I’m sorry, my little pony… I didn’t notice you there.”
Berry huffed. It was pretty common for the barpony to be relegated to the background. Just a piece of the furniture. It was one of the jobs of a barpony, after all.
But Berry Punch dared to presume that perhaps it was the other job of a barpony that the Princess needed tonight.
Well, another job, as the primary one was keeping the glasses full.
The princess needed an ear.
Pouring out a tumbler of scotch, she hoofed it over to the princess.
Celestia took a swig, and gagged. “That is vile!”
“Yep, but it’s all that’s left.” Berry took a swig of her own, then refilled her glass. “Another for the princess.”
Celestia looked down at her empty glass, then pushed it forward. “Yes, please.”
Berry poured a second one for the princess, then downed it as fast as the alicorn did, pouring another.
“So,” Berry tried again. “What’s got Princess Celestia, head princess pony thing of all of Equestria, sitting here drinking the leftover cheap scotch with a barkeep?”
Celestia levitated her glass again, where it wobbled in her aura, before looking at Berry.
“There was somepony here tonight… somepony I had my eye on,” Celestia said. “But it seems she had her eye on somepony else.”
Berry nodded. It seemed strange, but the princess was still a pony, if not a big one with lots of power. It’d make sense that the princess would have the same woes in romance as the lesser ponies did.
Or maybe it didn’t make sense, but the fourth scotch in less than ten minutes was telling her it did.
“I’ve had my eye on her for so long, but she just doesn’t see me that way.”
Berry filled the princess’s glass, along with her own, yet again.
“Nopony sees me that way. I’m just Princess Celestia, great mother figure of Equestria. Never Celestia, the mare.”
“I know what you mean,” Berry replied. “Well, I think I do. Got a foal back home, and nopony gives me the time of day either.”
“Oh Mother, it’s been so long!” Celestia moaned.
“Yeah, I hear ya,” Berry replied.
“Three centuries! No pony has touched me in three centuries!”
Berry decided she was going to make a very stupid decision. Something she would most likely come to regret.
Something that might stop her from ever getting another bartending job ever again.
Something that she seriously hoped the princess wouldn’t throw her in the dungeon for.
She ducked under the counter, and pulled out an unopened bottle of Woodford Reserve Classic Malt. She cracked the top, and poured some into two fresh tumblers.
“But I thought…” Celestia stared at the liquid.
“I was gonna take this one home… it’s not the sort of booze I ever get to drink.” Berry shook her head. “But three hundred years? You deserve this.”
Celestia lifted the amber liquid to her mouth, inhaling the scent, and letting it flow across her lips, and roll over her tongue.
It was heavenly.
Berry didn’t even hesitate to pour a second.
“Not the same, but it might scratch a different itch,” Berry said, winking.
Celestia dove across the counter and pulled Berry Punch into a kiss.
“Make love to me!”
“Uhh, okay, Your Highness,” Berry replied, blushing. “But, ummm, here?”
A flash of light, and the room was now empty. The princess, the barkeep, and the opened bottle of Woodford Reserve Classic Malt had disappeared.
Luna trotted down the hall towards her sister’s room. Though the guards around her looked nervously towards her, she ignored them. They were likely nervous for the same reason she was, though they obviously laid the blame with her.
She stood outside the door to her sister’s room, the two guards on either side giving her a terrified glance.
“Guards, is Our sister in her chambers?”
“W-we don’t know, Your Highness. We did not see her come in, but there have been… noises… coming from inside since a few hours ago.”
Luna nodded. “Very well. Let Us through, We must see Our sister about raising the sun.”
The guards stood aside, and Luna opened the door.
The room smelled of alcohol and sweat. Closing the door to protect her sister’s sensibilities (and to stop any prying from the guard), Luna looked around the darkened room.
She had never seen her sister’s room so devoid of light. Illuminating her horn, she noticed a large lump under the covers of her sister’s bed.
“Sister, ‘tis time for thee to raise thy sun. Get thy rump out of bed and raise thy charge!”
“Go away, I have a migraine!”
“Thy subjects care not for thy migraine, they only fear that the Nightmare hath risen again,” Luna replied as she grasped Celestia’s duvet in her magic.
“Luna, don’t—”
Pulling back the duvet, she found Celestia entangled with a mulberry mare with grapes for a cutie mark. The smell of sweat and shame permeating the duvet stirred the air.
She looked in horror at the multiple sized and colored phalluses that lay on the silk sheets, dark stains dried into the expensive fabric.
Luna gently placed the duvet back over her sister and hurried for the door.
As she trotted past the guards, she muttered to them with a blush across her face.
“Our sister is unwell, please do not disturb her. We will raise the sun as soon as We can.”