Princess Twilight Sparkle fought the urge to scowl.
How dare she? Who does she think she is?
Tonight, she was greeting guests of the Grand Galloping Gala with Princess Celestia. Twilight glanced at the clock for the eighth time, sighing as she noted that a mere twenty-seven seconds had passed since she last checked. Greetings were a mind-numbingly boring job, one that none of the princesses enjoyed.
Princess Luna had gotten out of the greetings with a masterful application of a sound, tactical mind. The decision over who would greet the guests was decided by a needlessly impossible game of griffon-roshambo; Celestia and Twilight had predictably both thrown rock, whereas Luna lit up her horn and teleported elsewhere.
Princess Luna had not been seen for weeks. With only two short hours before the Gala, she reappeared in a resplendent gown of silver and sapphire-blues. Her gown would have been the envy of any mare.
Despite all this, Princess Luna, in all her beauty, was not the mare who drew Twilight Sparkle’s ire this eve. No, the mare who drew the princess’s wrath—no, not wrath, she had to remind herself… displeasure, yes, that was an emotion far more befitting a princess—the mare that drew her displeasure was a mare with a stupid light cerise coat, and a dumb cobalt blue bob with pale violet ribbons in her mane. She was wearing an indigo saddle trimmed with gold and pale violet frills covering her big, fat, dumb, stupid, fat, ugly, fat flank.
“Your Highnesses,” the stallion spoke, as the couple dropped into a bow.
Twilight looked over the handsome stallion. He was dressed in his smart, red mess-dress; the stripes and badges of his service to Equestria were proudly displayed. Flash Sentry was the very vision of stallion masculinity, despite any uncomfortable subconscious-but-still-morally-and-socially-acceptable-similarities he may or may not have bore to Twilight Sparkle’s very own B.B.B.F.F.
“Sergeant Sentry, it is good to see you again.” Celestia smiled as the couple rose from their bow. “And who is this accompanying you tonight?”
“Oh, my apologies, Your Majesties.” The pegasus turned to his partner. “This is Royal Ribbon, my fiancée.”
The corners of Twilight’s mouth trembled and her brow twitched as a frown threatened to overtake her face. She composed herself, channeling the Royal Dignity Reserves—a neat little trick Cadance had taught her, for situations where one could not be seen trying to calm oneself.
“A pleasure to meet you, Your Highnesses.” Royal Ribbon curtsied.
‘A pleasure to meet you, Your Highnesses,’ Twilight repeated in her head; each word dripped with annoyance and sarcasm, causing her to roll her mind’s eye.
“It was lovely to meet you. I hope the two of you have a wonderful evening.” Celestia smiled as the couple departed. Externally, Twilight smiled as well, though internally, she wondered if Celestia would notice a missing solar flare or two.
Twilight screamed internally as the happy pair walked away. Fury burned in her heart as the cerise-colored mare bumped flanks with Flash Sentry.
Four… no, five solar flares. No! A coronal mass ejection! Celestia won’t notice, I’m sure of it; I’ll just have to distract her with… with cake! Yes, that’s what Luna always does!
“Twilight, is something the matter?” Celestia asked the younger princess, concern etched across the older alicorn’s face.
Twilight had been muted during the greetings. At first, Celestia suspected her former student had simply grown bored; it was a tedious job, after all. Then she began to notice the subtle tics Twilight exhibited when she was under stress. Sure, Twilight had done well to keep the guests from noticing, but Celestia had played poker with beings so ancient, each hand could take over a decade to play. To her, Twilight displayed more tells than a foal playing go-fish.
“Nothing is the matter, Prin… I mean, Celestia.”
“You look like you need a break. Maybe we—”
“That’s a great idea, Princess. Thanks.”
Celestia watched in shock as Twilight trotted away.
“—could share a dance.” Celestia held in her sigh, and resumed greeting the guests.
“I must say, my dear,” Rarity commented, swirling her glass and allowing the red wine within to breathe, “I was quite insulted when you asked Pinkie Pie to handle the decorations for the Gala instead of me—” She looked around the room, disbelief plastered across her face. “—but I must admit, it’s quite tastefully done.”
Twilight nodded, but her eyes weren’t focused on her friend, and her responses were mechanical.
“I was expecting far more flamboyant decorations on display than what she’s done tonight. It seems our Pinkie Pie has far more depth than we give her credit for.” Rarity giggled. “Truthfully, I was expecting more streamers.”
“No! No streamers!” Pinkie Pie shuddered, having emerged from the depths of the not-entirely-pony-sized fondue pot. A chill ran down Pinkie’s spine as fear crept across her face. “Never streamers,” she whispered, as she sank back into the cheesy depths, disappearing from sight.
Twilight only half listened to Rarity as she rambled on about how her Canterlot boutique had gone from success to success because of the Gala. Twilight interrupted her friend as she spotted a certain orange pegasus crossing the dance floor, heading towards the punchbowl.
“I’m a little thirsty, Rarity. Did you want anything?”
“Oh… no, thank you. I am perfectly fine. I’m still going with this wine.” Rarity paused, then let out a slight titter. “Oh, I almost sounded like Zecora for a moment.”
Twilight laughed politely, then made her way towards the punchbowl.
Have to time this… just… right.
“Oh, Flash Sentry,” Twilight laughed nervously, as she ‘accidentally’ collided with him. “I’m sorry, I didn’t see you there; we've got to stop bumping into each other like this.” The two shared a laugh.
“Very sorry, Princess. I should have been paying more attention to where I was going.”
“Well, at least I didn’t spill my milkshake on you this time,” Twilight giggled, looking away as a pink tinge came to her cheeks.
“Your… milkshake?” Flash Sentry asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Oh, ummm, sorry,” Twilight stuttered nervously. Ugh! That’s right! That happened to the other Flash Sentry. “I must have been thinking of somepony else.”
“Well, it was good seeing you again, Your Highness,” Flash said, dipping his head in a polite bow, “but I really must be getting back to my fiancée.”
“Oh, yes! Your fiancée.” Twilight struggled to keep her eye from twitching. “Cadance never told me you were getting married.
“…C-congratulations,” she forced herself to add.
“Oh, ummm, thank you,” Flash replied, a confused look on his face. “Though, I’m just a soldier; I don’t know why Her Majesty would concern herself, or you, with the goings-on of a lowly guard like me.”
“Oh,” Twilight gulped, nervously trying to think of some way to get out of the hole she was digging for herself. “M-my sister-in-law cares very much for the guards who serve her. A-And my brother, ummm, my brother has mentioned you a few times.”
Flash Sentry brightened significantly. “Wow, that’s wonderful to hear, Your Highness. I didn’t know Princess Mi Amore Cadenza or Prince Shining Armor even knew who I was.”
“Flashy, what is taking so…” Royal Ribbon stopped next to her husband-to-be, silenced by the presence of royalty. “O-oh, Your Majesty, I apologise for my impertinence. I did not know my Flashy was talking to a princess.”
Twilight ground her teeth at this trampy little upstart with her stupid mane calling Flash Sentry… ‘Flashy’. It was an endearingly cute nickname, and one that only she should be allowed to call the stallion.
“Oh, it’s okay.” Twilight smiled. “Flash Sentry and I go way back.”
“You do?” the mare asked.
“We do?” Flash responded.
“Yes, when we… Sunset Shimmer. Oh, ummm…” Stupid Sparkle! That wasn’t him!
“The incident with the crown?” Flash Sentry asked, comprehension dawning on his face. “Oh, yeah, I guess that was where I first met you— I suppose that counts as way back.” He chuckled. Turning to his fiancée, he explained, “A few years back, Princess Twilight came to the Crystal Empire for the Princess Summit. I wasn’t involved in the investigation, but the Captain of the Crystal Guard told us that an intruder had broken in and stolen the Princess’s Crown. That was an embarrassing day for the guard, I’ll tell you that. Princess Twilight had to retrieve the crown herself. Next time I saw the Princess, she had it back.
“And she’s been really nice to me ever since,” Flash added.
“Really?” Royal Ribbon asked, narrowing her eyes towards the princess.
“Oh, absolutely. She comes to the guard barracks every time she visits, to say hello to all of us guards.” He smiled, oblivious to the war of glares shared between the two mares. “Frightfully good of her, considering the impression we must have made when she first met us.”
“Evidently, you left a great impression,” the mare added sarcastically. “Please excuse us, Princess. My fiancé and I are about to go dancing.”
“We are? Oh, okay.” Flash Sentry followed his partner back to the dance floor. He called back over his shoulder, “Lovely to see you again, Princess!”
How dare he dance with her. He promised me that dance… kind of. Well, one of him promised me a dance; that should count, right?
“Oh, Flash. Hi again.” Twilight smiled.
“Hey again, Princess,” Flash Sentry laughed.
“Excuse us!” Royal Ribbon pulled her fiancé back to the buffet.
“Oh, your saddle is just darling,” Rarity swooned. “You simply must tell me who your designer is. I’m a bit of a designer myself,” she added modestly.
Royal Ribbon looked at her saddle. It was rather old, not really the sort of thing a mare of fashion would comment on, really. She’d worn it to the last few Galas, since she didn’t have the money to spare on a new one each year, unlike other ponies.
“R-Really?” she asked. “It’s actually rather old.”
Standing next to the beautiful mare, whose own gala gown was immaculate—with its exquisite soft silks and tastefully done jewelry—she had trouble believing the compliment. Maybe this mare understood that one didn’t have to dress ostentatiously to look stunning. It was perhaps a plausible reason why she commented on Royal Ribbon’s plain-by-comparison outfit.
She looked back over her ensemble. No, that can’t be it.
“Why, my friend was commenting on how delightful it was, and she…” Rarity turned around. “Oh, she was here a minute ago. Oh, there she is.”
Royal Ribbon looked in the direction the mare was facing. A scowl crossed her face as she left the confused designer and stalked towards Twilight, who was talking to her Flashy.
“You!”
Royal Ribbon staggered backwards as a pink mare jumped out from behind a potted plant, pointing a hoof directly at her.
“Y-yes?”
“She told me you brought streamers!”
Royal Ribbon gasped as the mare grabbed her, dragging her back towards the potted plant from whence she came.
Royal Ribbon dusted herself off. Her saddle was scratched and stained, the frilling tattered and torn.
She had no idea where the crazed pony had dragged her. All she knew was that it was dark, scary, and she had to climb out of the mirror in the public restrooms of the castle, scaring five stallions as she crawled out, her mane limp and dishevelled. One of the stallions screamed something about how he should never have watched that damned tape.
Re-entering the ballroom, she found her faithful husband-to-be dancing with the harlot-queen, the usurper-of-happiness, the ruiner of nights… Princess… Twilight… Sparkle!
She crossed the room, ignoring the stares of disgust from the noble-ponies around her. They parted like the sea in the tale where Mareses led the earth ponies from out of the Badlands.
“Oh! Hey, honey!” Flash Sentry smiled as his fiancée approached. His smile faltered as she got closer, and he could see the state she was in.
“Be a dear, Flashy. Would you go get me a drink?”
“Uhh, sure.”
Both the Princess and Royal Ribbon watched Flash Sentry leave, the crowd closing in behind him.
“We need to talk…” Royal Ribbon snarled at the princess. “But I would prefer to take this somewhere private.”
Twilight stood on the balcony—looking amazing, if she asked herself—in her regal attire.
The mare next to her looked like she had just crawled out of a sewer.
“Now listen here, you little upstart!” Royal Ribbon spat.
“You can’t talk to me like th—”
“I damned well can!” Royal Ribbon snarled. “You might be Princess, but that doesn’t mean you automatically get everything you want. Stay away from my fiancé, you b—”
Whatever Royal Ribbon was about to say was cut short, as the aura of magic faded from Twilight’s horn.
Oh no! What have I done? Twilight thought. Maybe I went too far? What will the other princesses say?
Twilight paced nervously across the marbled floor of the balcony. A flash of light startled her from her thoughts, as Luna stepped towards the smaller princess.
“Twilight, We are very busy tonight, but We must ask…” Luna looked up to the beautiful moonlit night. “Why is there a mare on Our moon cussing thee?”