Braeburn and I were all over each other on the ride back home after the show. Our sky cab was big enough for about six ponies, and with just him, Holli, and me inside, we could stretch out a little. After Braeburn told Holli why we'd taken so long in the locker room, he snuggled up to me and kept talking about his favorite parts of the show. "I may be biased, but that second act was even better than the first!"
His soft chin brushed against my shoulder, which made me tingle. I shrugged and coolly said, "Meh. Makes sense. The first act has smaller stunts. See, the audience is already jazzed up from the big opening, and we slow it down a little so they can recover before we build it up again for the grand finale."
He looked up at me with his sparkling green eyes. "Heh heh. That's bullshit, ain't it?"
I kissed his forehead. "Maybe. What do you think, Holli?"
Holli was seated across from us, her blue dress starting to show wrinkles. "I think you put on a good show, but I suppose I'd have to come to a few more before I could really judge." She winked at me.
I snickered. "You got it. I'll pick you up a few backstage passes when I get Braeburn's next week."
Holli narrowed his eyes at Braeburn. "If that whole locker room experience was just on a regular ticket, then thinking about the backstage special makes me blush."
Braeburn wrinkled his nose and averted his gaze. "Heh heh…"
"I'm awfully jealous, Braeburn. I would have loved to have been in your hooves." Holli settled into her seat and rotated her shoulders. "Mm… All those muscular stallions to yourself… What do you think they'll do to you after the next show?"
Braeburn's fur prickled, and so did mine. My thoughts started firing on all cylinders again, but I quickly told myself, 'They were just messing around. One-time thing. He doesn't even like them. He likes me.'
Braeburn sat up and said, "Aw, stop your teasin'. It was fun, but I was mighty flustered. Not sure I'd like to even try that again."
I hissed out a breath and shook off my thoughts.
Braeburn said, "Hell, I'm still worried about the party. Butterflies are gettin' to me." He chewed on his lower lip. "Don't know what I'll talk to everypony about. I got a feelin' we don't all have much in common, and I'm pretty good with names, but that's mostly earth pony names – all yours seems to be about the sky or somethin' – and I–"
I put a hoof to his lips. "You'll be fine, Applebutt. They'll love you, and Holli's a pretty good bouncer." I smirked at her. "Thanks again for all help. And the new code word."
Braeburn cocked an eyebrow at me. "Code word?"
"Yeah." I nibbled his ear just to feel him quiver. "Next time I'm horny, I'm ordering the backstage special."
The cab pulled into the Estates. As we got out, I asked the driver, "Hey. You wanna make an assload of bits?" I hired him to wait there all night and take home anypony that needed it, and I flagged down a security officer to get him a pass for the night. I also gave him a hefty tip from my saddlebag, just to make sure he stayed, then caught up with the others.
Braeburn held the front door for Holli, and she nodded at him as she walked in. "Thank you, kind gentlecolt."
"My pleasure," Braeburn replied with a theatrical bow. He kept holding the door for me.
"Thanks, Applebutt," I said. "You ready?"
He smiled, let out a shuddering breath, and followed me into the entryway. "Think so. You go set up the music. I'll–" He stopped, one hoof raised, outside the doorway to the kitchen. "Uh, pardon me, Miss Holli."
Holli leaned against the frame, smiling at Braeburn with half-lidded eyes. She didn't say anything, and I stayed to watch.
Braeburn set his hoof down and said, "Excuse me, please. I need to get in there and set out the food."
Holli chirped back, "Oh, I'll take care of it, Braeburn. You just enjoy the party."
"Heh. I don't mind. Really." He leaned to the side, like he was trying to get around her.
Holli just shifted her weight and batted her eyelashes.
Braeburn made another move to pass her and said, "We, uh… should probably hurry."
Holli chuckled and stood firm. "Braeburn, I know nerves when I see them. If I let you in, you'll hide here all night." She peeked out at me. "Am I right, Soarin'?"
I stepped up to Braeburn and bumped his flank with mine. "Well, you did try to skip out on dancing back in Appleloosa…"
Braeburn scrunched up his face and averted his gaze again.
"Gotcha," Holli said, poking him lightly on the nose. "Don't forget who everypony's here to meet, Cutie. At the very least, it sounds like you owe Soarin' a dance."
"Yeah!" I said, nuzzling him. "If the conversation sucks, just give the tour, like out west. Who better than the mayor, riiiiight?"
He paused, thought, and chuckled. "This'll be my own little Appleloosa? Just like bein' back home?"
'Home. Appleloosa. Braeburn. Train. Bron–'
"Yeah!" I said, cutting off my own thoughts. "Like that."
Holli looked back at Braeburn. "Think you can do that, Cutie?"
Braeburn nickered. "Aw, why not?"
I sighed. "Good colt," I said as I pulled him close and kissed his cheek.
Holli added, "As far as I'm concerned, it's my kitchen tonight, but I'm always here if you need to take a break. Now, why don't you go get changed?"
Braeburn was still wearing his bolo tie and white dress shirt. I mean, it's not really party material, but I didn't think it looked bad. I cocked an eyebrow. "Huh?"
Braeburn blushed. "Aw, you really gonna hold me to that?"
I looked at Holli. "Hold him to what?"
She winked at me. "Braeburn let it slip about his little outfit in Las Pegasus, and he agreed to show me."
Rolling his eyes, Braeburn said, "She's makin' me wear my pink shirt."
Holli flicked a hoof. "You'll look great in it, I'm sure! It'll go well with your coat. Like strawberry lemonade."
It felt isolating being on the outside of one of Braeburn's conversations, but I shrugged it off. "Cool! Gayburn's back!" When he snorted a hot breath at me, I nuzzled him and said, "If it helps, I'll wear my black one."
"Aw, that ain't fair!" he whined with a mock-frown. "Black makes you look sexy."
"Anything makes you look sexy, Brae." I kissed him and whispered into his ear. "…and nothing makes you look even sexier."
He blushed again and flicked his ear, then let out this cute little squee noise.
Holli waved a hoof at us. "Oh, go on, you two." As we walked to the stairs, and she shouted to us, "And hooves to yourselves! I'm coming up there if you aren't back in five minutes!"
Giggling, we walked into our bedroom. I watched Braeburn's ass in the mirror as he reached under the bed for his luggage – he hadn't unpacked yet – and quickly pulled out the wrinkled shirt. "Oh, this needs an iron. Badly."
"On it!" I yanked the shirt from him, grabbed the auto-magic iron and ironing board from my closet, and had everything set up before he knew what was happening.
Braeburn sat on the bed and laughed. "Guess I'm not the only Mister Domestic in this house."
I tilted my head back and grinned. "Dude, have you seen how perfect my uniforms look?"
He smirked. "When there ain't a big hole in the crotch, yeah."
"Not my fault!" I shouted with a laugh. I dabbed his shirt with a shower cloud to get it damp and started ironing. "Everypony's gonna love you, Braeburn."
"Heh, you already said that." Braeburn sighed, his tail flicking back and forth. "But thanks. I just hope I don't make an ass of myself."
"Nah, you'll be fine," I said as I pressed his shirt. The iron felt heavy in my hooves. "Just stick with me. I'll keep you safe."
"I know you will, Big Blue. I'm just outta my element."
I flipped the shirt and worked on the others side. "What are you talking about? You deal with strangers and giant groups of townsponies all the time!
His voice got lower. "A pony can still be lonely in a crowd, Soarin'. I think you know that as well as I do."
I paused until I smelled the first whiff of singed fabric. "…Yeah."
To my side, I heard Braeburn flop onto the bed. "And it doesn't really help that I'm wearin' that shirt again. Just feels a little… I dunno…"
I finished ironing and stood there with the warm shirt in my hooves. Staring at it, I felt a lump in my throat. "Dishonest?"
Braeburn blew air out of his lips. "Yeah, kinda. And… as long as we're puttin' on airs, you mind if we skip the Applebutts and Big Blues, at least until I know everypony a little better?"
I winced, but I understood. "No problem, Applebutt."
"Hey!" he whined playfully. "Careful."
"Whaaaat? I need to get them out of my system." I motioned for him to come stand by me, and softly, I said, "Tonight's gonna be great."
Slowly, he stood up, and I could hear the heaviness in his voice. "I hope so, Big Blue." He walked to me and let me put his shirt on.
As I buttoned it up, my heart warmed, and I told him, "You look amazing."
He chuckled. "You ain't even lookin'."
I looked into his bright green eyes, then tenderly licked his cheek and gave him a kiss. "Don't have to. I just know."
There was a knock on the door downstairs. We looked at each other, but I didn't move.
Braeburn motioned with his head. "Think that's our first guest, Big Blue."
I stared.
Braeburn tilted his head to the side. "You gonna answer it?"
I smirked.
Braeburn narrowed his eyes and gave me a wry smile. "Asshole. You, too?"
I kissed his forehead. "Your party, babe."
I threw on my black shirt as we went downstairs, and then Braeburn opened the front door. "Welcome to, uh… our place! Oh! Sightseer, nice to see you! You… need help with that?"
Sightseer grimaced. He was holding up a massive glass bowl of seven-layer taco dip, and his foreleg was shaking. "H-hi! Yes! Help, please!"
"Of course! Come on in." Braeburn took the bowl and carried it to the kitchen, no problem. "Just makin' a delivery, Miss Holli."
I motioned for Sightseer to come in, and as I did, Wave Chill arrived with his marefriend. "Hey, Soarin'! Hope you don't mind that I brought Star Drop." He nodded as his companion, a lavender pegasus with a silvery mane.
Braeburn appeared again and said, "Welcome! Come on in!" He had his mayor voice on.
And I figured I could help him out. "No problem. Nice meeting you, Star Drop. You guys heard PON-3's new tracks?"
They followed me into the parlor, where I put on some tunes and hit the lights. The blue and gold gems rotated in the lamps, creating kaleidoscopic patterns on the walls. Braeburn kept running to the door whenever we heard a knock, and over the next half-hour, another dozen 'Bolts arrived along with a pile of saddlebags, food, and booze. Most of them brought beer or mixers, and everypony made a pass through the kitchen to grab a drink and a plate of snacks. They freaking raved about the hummus and the mini-tacos that Holli and Braeburn had made, and the sounds in the condo went from a low thump of the music to a small buzz of chit-chat to loud laughs and vigorous conversation in no time. Groups of ponies spread themselves throughout the parlor, the kitchen, and the back porch, where Holli had set up some chairs. Holli stayed in the kitchen, serving snacks and mixing drinks. On my second snack run, I asked if she wanted to just hang out, but she said, "Sugar, I can't help myself. Besides, it'll keep Braeburn out of here. Long as I have somepony to talk to, I'll be fine."
In the parlor, High Winds, Misty Fly, and Lightning Streak were dancing in the middle of the room to the heavy beat, and Braeburn settled onto the couch with me. Blaze and Sightseer joined us in some nearby chairs. Blaze passed us some of the hard lemonades she'd brought, and Braeburn quickly obliged. "Thank you! Mouth's already mighty dry," he said as he tipped the bottle back.
We'd barely started talking when we heard another knock, but Misty Fly offered to get it, and I had to hold Braeburn down to keep him from answering. "Relax, Braeburn. You've earned a break." He slumped back into the couch and kept eyeing the door.
Misty Fly came back a moment later. "Guess who finally showed up together?" She stepped aside, and two ponies followed her into the parlor. Fire Streak stood with his head high, and he waved at the group of us on the couch. Next to him, Spitfire stood rigid with a flat expression. Her lips were slightly pursed, and she looked quickly around. The crowd gave out a collective, playful, "Oooooh!"
Spitfire tensed up and quickly glanced at Fire Streak. I saw that chink in her armor again, just for a second.
But good ol' Streak. With a big smile, he turned to Spitfire, shrugged his shoulders and said, "Well, they obviously already know." He quickly leaned in and kissed Spitfire on the cheek, and I swear, I could see Spitfire's heart jump into her throat. She didn't have long to react, though, because the whole parlor erupted in cheers and whistles and stomping hooves, and Spitfire looked out at the party and smiled. I think that chink in her armor had gotten just a little bit bigger, or maybe she'd finally taken the first piece of it off.
When the cheering died down, Spitfire's expression flat-lined, and she dead-panned, "He's fired for that."
Everypony in the parlor laughed, and Misty Fly and High Winds left the dance floor to talk to Spitfire. The way they bounced up to her made them look like school-fillies as they squealed and demanded to hear the whole story. Lightning Streak followed and gave Fire Streak a hoof-bump, and Silver Lining came out of the kitchen to see what had happened.
The conversation picked up between Braeburn, Sightseer, and Blaze, but I just sat on the couch watching Spitfire for a few minutes. She still looked rigid, but as the other mares encouraged her to keep talking, her shoulders relaxed, and I could almost feel the tightness melting away from her. And whenever Fire Streak said something to her, they both looked as natural as they had in the stadium.
I smiled. 'Good for them.'
The relaxed, solid pulse of Mister Pon's "Surfs" remix thumped in the background of our conversation, and the room spun with the blue and gold lights. I nursed my lemonade while Braeburn cracked open a beer, and I tuned back into the conversation. Sightseer asked, "So what's it like being an earth pony up here?"
Braeburn took a long drink, and then set his jaw and sighed. "Eh… It's been a bit rough, Sightseer. Tryin' to get around without wings seems like a fool's errand sometimes, and the media certainly doesn't help." He scooted closer and gave me a quick hug. "We think it'll get better, though. It'll just take time."
Blaze chimed in. "I'm jealous. I've been on the main squad for a couple months now, and the media ponies don't pay any attention to me at all." She mumbled, "…except when they think I'm Spitfire."
Braeburn chuckled bitterly. "Count your blessings, Miss Blaze. It ain't as glamorous as it seems. Can't even hardly go shoppin' without worryin' if the asparagus I buy will show up on the front page." We all shared a short laugh. "I guess it ain't so bad, though. How about this: enjoy what you have, and I'll do the same. I'm just lucky I got Soarin' to keep me safe." He rested his head on me. "Thanks for stickin' by me."
I wrapped a wing around him, and the yellow light from the gem lamp hit his blue stud. "Always, Brae."
Sightseer raised his drink to us. "You know, you two remind me of my wife and me."
Blaze snorted. "Ha! Here we go…" She took another pull of her lemonade.
"I mean it," Sightseer stated firmly. "We've had ups and downs and a lot of adjustments, especially for her when I go on tour, but we see everything through together."
I clinked my bottle against Sightseer's. "You know it," I said.
Braeburn nodded. "Your wife seems mighty nice, and if you don't mind me sayin', she makes one hell of a taco dip."
Sightseer puffed up his chest. "Best in Cloudsdale! I'll let her know you liked it."
"Thank you." Braeburn drained his beer and stood up. "Think I need another taste, in fact. Can I get anypony anything while I'm up? Cider? Beer?" After a pause, he said, "I'll just grab a round. Be right back."
I made a move to stand up. "I'll help you carry 'em."
"Nah, I've got this, Soarin'. You just wait here."
"You sure?"
"I'm sure. I'll just be a sec." He waved a hoof and disappeared into the kitchen.
After Braeburn was out of earshot and the song wound down for a few seconds, Blaze asked, "Is he doing okay?"
I raised an eyebrow. "Uh, yeah. We're great! Why?"
Blaze cocked her head to the side. "I don't know. He seems… a little tense, I guess?"
Sightseer snickered. "Well, Blaze, how would you feel meeting your coltfriend's coworkers for the first time?"
Blaze snickered. "Heh. Haven't had that problem for a while." She took another drink. "You're probably right, though, but it can't be easy."
I said, "Braeburn's okay. He'll adjust."
We kept talking, but after a few minutes, Braeburn hadn't come back. I shook my head and told myself he was fine and that he was happy I was "sticking by him." That helped, but the longer he was away, the more I found myself distracted from the conversation. My mind turned with images of him being cornered by some of the other 'Bolts and feeling awkward, shivering and worried about what to say. I kept looking towards the kitchen, but I couldn't see inside, and a tight feeling built in my chest that told me he needed me.
Finally, I heard cheering. "Go! Go! Go! Go! GO!" It finished with some loud whistles and hoof-stomping.
I jerked my head towards the kitchen. "I'm… gonna go check on him."
Sightseer smiled. "He's fine, Soarin'. Probably just got caught up."
Blaze nodded at me. "Yeah, he'll be back soon. Just relax."
I paused. My body felt like it was being pulled in two different directions. I looked back and forth between Sightseer and Blaze, but my mind was already made up. "I-it'll just take a second."
I pushed past the ponies that were dancing in the middle of the room and made it to the kitchen. Holli was sitting at the table talking to Fire Streak and Spitfire. Braeburn leaned on the counter, surrounded by Fleetfoot, Wave Chill, Star Drop, and Surprise. He was breathing heavily, but his eyes were half-lidded, and he wore a small smile. On the counter, arranged in a disorganized line, were a lot more shot glasses than there were ponies.
Wave Chill was snickering and shaking his head. "Damn, Braeburn. How'd you learn to throw 'em back like that?"
Braeburn grinned smugly. "Practice."
"Ha! Well, I'm getting a rematch next party, and there's no Luna-damned way I'm losing again."
Fleetfoot shrugged. "Eh, don't feel bad losing to an earth pony, Chill." She jabbed her fetlock into his ribs. "You should be feel bad for being such a lightweight in general."
Chill snorted, but he was smiling. "Oh, fuck you, Fleetfoot. I can handle a hell of a lot worse."
As I walked up to the group, Braeburn tilted his head back. In a low voice, he asked, "Wanna prove it?"
Wave Chill raised his eyebrows and swiveled his ears towards Braeburn. "Ooh! Whaddya got?"
Braeburn snickered. "Aw, you don't even… Oh, Soarin'!" He stopped leaning on the counter and waved me over, but his smile suddenly dropped. "Aw, hell! I forgot about gettin' y'all drinks! Sorry 'bout that." He flicked a hoof at the other 'Bolts. "Got caught up talkin' to these fine folks."
His cheeks were flushed. I told myself, 'It's okay. He's having a good time. Everything's fine.' I wrapped a wing around him and said, "No problem. What's up?"
Wave Chill punched Braeburn's shoulder and said, "Braeburn's a beast!"
Braeburn turned up his nose and said, in his thickest accent, "Ah am a gentlecolt, sir. Ain't that right, Soarin'?"
I felt a slight nagging at my heart. "You doing okay, Brae?"
"Okay-Brae's what they call me!" He giggled, but it was… different. "But I'm fine. You're sweet for askin'. You need anythin'?"
A raspy voice came from our side. "We'll, I'd like to finally say hello if you aren't busy." Spitfire sauntered up to our group with Fire Streak close behind. "Things have been crazy for all of us this week, but I'd like to officially welcome you to Cloudsdale. I hope the show was a warm enough welcome."
"Oh, certainly!" Braeburn nodded emphatically. "And you're right, it's nice to finally be able to talk to y'all. Without the papers chasin' us, I mean."
Fire Streak adjusted his wings and stood next to Spitfire. "Right. It's no small blessing that we made it through this week. How did it go for you?"
"Ugh, awful," Braeburn said as he twisted open another beer and took a swig.
Everyone went silent, and a few gazes flicked away from us.
Braeburn nearly spat his drink back into the bottle, and his eyes went wide. "Sorry! Wow, must be the beer talkin'." He set the bottle down on the counter. "Nah, it hasn't been that bad. Certainly been some rough patches, for sure, and I've spent a lot more time cursin' this week than usual, but I'm okay. Soarin's helpin' me get settled, and I'll be writin' a lot of letters back home this week to get caught up on everything."
Streak said, "Uh, what kind of stuff?" He did a little gesture with his hoof that looked completely mechanical, but it helped drain some of the remaining tension in the air.
"Oh, the orchard, the rails, and any big developments. See, I'm tryin' to build up Appleloosa into a trade town, and…" Braeburn stared wide-eyed at nothing for a second, then took another big drink of his beer. "…and I haven't hardly thought about all that work there is to do. Dammit, my head's been somewhere else lately."
Star Drop cuddled up next to Wave Chill, and she warmly said, "Well, what's Appleloosa like? I'm trying to get Chill to take some time off, and a weekend trip out there might be fun. What is there to do out there?"
Braeburn's eyes lit up.
He went off about Appleloosa and all its charms, from the peaceful mornings to the rowdy Saturday night dances, gesturing and smiling widely the whole time. There wasn't a single part of the town that he didn't mention, and everypony hung on his words. I got to chip in, too, at least about the weekend experience, and Braeburn was more animated than I'd seen him since Las Pegasus. His… voice got a little quiet when they asked him about his history there, and he sounded more wistful the more he talked, but he didn't stay down for long. We had a long, long conversation about living in the country, and by the end, both Chill and Streak had decided they wanted to visit.
"Well, we'd love to have you!" Braeburn said, setting down an empty beer bottle, the third one since I'd come into the kitchen. "Hoo! Sorry, feelin' like I've talked everypony's ears off." He shook his head, blinked a few times, and covered his mouth as he burped softly.
Surprise saddled up to Braeburn. She said, "Aw, we don't mind." She lowered her voice and drew out her words. "Kind of nice hearing about it from a big, strong, earth pony."
Fire shot through my veins, and I stared daggers at her.
"Well, if you like me, it might be worth takin' an amble out there sometime. Never know who you might find. Might even be a sexy pegasus for you."
Out of nowhere, I wanted to roar, and I wrapped a wing around Braeburn again, drawing him close and making him gasp slightly. It wasn't a conscious thing. I just… reacted. "Alright, alright," I said, trying to hide the acid in my voice. "Braeburn owes me a dance, and Holli's gonna kill me if I let him hide in the kitchen all night."
Braeburn shook his head and snickered. "Aw, she can kick me out if she wants to. And she hasn't–"
"You promised, Brae," I said woodenly, trying to sound bouncy and jokey. It didn't work.
"Well, the night's still young, right? We're in the middle of a conversation."
I could feel everypony's eyes on us, and my muscles felt like they were made of iron.
Holli called over from the table. "Well," she laughed, "It sounds like it's over now." She sauntered over. "And you do need to get outta here, Braeburn. I've been slacking, but that doesn't mean you don't have to show us how they dance out west."
I could almost feel the room collectively sigh. Holli's great for tense situations. Waitresses, right?
"Aw… If you say so, Miss Holli." Braeburn turned to the group and popped the collar of his pink shirt. "Pardon us, please. We've got a date on the dance floor. You're welcome to join in."
We moved out into the parlor, and a few of the ponies that were already there sat down to rest. The dancing started out pretty slowly at first, but it only took a song or two before everypony was stomping and swaying with the beat. Braeburn chuckled a little, and his hoofwork didn't quite match up with everypony else's, but nopony minded. Nopony really asked about his style, either, and for a while, we were all just having fun, dancing and sweating and feeling the small room get steadily hotter with the rhythmic movement of our bodies.
In the middle of a song, maybe an hour and a few beer breaks later, Wave Chill stumbled up to Braeburn and loudly said something in his ear. Braeburn nodded and started to walk away.
Instinctively, I reached out and grabbed his shoulder. He jumped a little, and I barked over the music, "Where are you going?"
He snorted and brought his face to my ear. "Calm the hell down, Soarin'. He just wants to talk."
His tone irked me, and I quickly said, "I'll come with."
He snorted. "I'll be fine."
"No, you–"
"Dammit!" he said through gritted teeth. He grunted and shook out his mane, then sucked in a deep breath and let it out slowly. He looked at me with his piercing eyes. They didn't sparkle; they were flecked with fire. "You said it was my party, Soarin', and I'd like to actually make a few friends. Chill's nice. I'll be okay." He hugged me. It wasn't warm, though. It felt forced. "Sorry for yellin'. We'll just be a little while, okay? I'll come find you when we're done."
I sighed and shook my head. 'The buck is wrong with me? This is good. Making friends will help him feel more at home here. He needs this.'
I looked back at him and forced myself to smile. "You're right. Sorry I'm so paranoid." I didn't believe myself, but I didn't want to fight. I did sincerely mean it when I said, "I just want you to be okay, you know?"
He smiled and said, "Thanks. You're sweet." He kissed me hard on the lips, and his breath smelled like shots. "I'll be fine."
I watched him walk all the way down the hall and out the door with Wave Chill. They were already talking about something by the time the door closed.
The room felt oddly still around me, and I didn't realize I was staring until Fire Streak nudged my side with his nose. "Looks like you need a new partner," he half-shouted over the loud music. "Wanna borrow mine while I get some water?"
Spitfire appeared on my opposite side, and I asked, "You dance now?"
"I'm learning," she said calmly.
Fire Streak walked away, and Spitfire and I danced together. Nothing too salacious, and we stayed near the edge of the room so we could talk, but it was happening: we were both dancing together at a party with other Wonderbolts. Spitfire moved gracefully, and leave it to her to find the beat exactly. Even if she wasn't doing anything advanced, she found the groove. We both did, and in some ways, it reminded me of our first couple shows as co-captains.
I looked her up and down. "You do dance!"
She smiled. "And you need to keep your eyes up here if you don't want Streak kicking your ass."
I laughed. "Yes, ma'am. You having a good time?"
Without missing a beat, she turned a thought over in her head. "Surprisingly? Yeah. It helps that I didn't come here alone." She chuckled. "But since Streak's staying here tonight, I suppose I'm leaving alone, aren't I?"
I looked over and saw Misty Fly, who had completely lost herself in the music, and I wondered if she'd catch a ride with some of our teammates. "You know, I don't think you have to."
She smiled at me. "I'm not spending the night, Soarin'."
I snickered. "Good. I don't want Streak to lose his V-card on my couch."
Spitfire and I laughed right as Streak walked up to me. He glared at me. "Fuck you, bro. Besides: Candy Stripe. Back in school."
"The one who lives in Caneighda, right?" I punched him lightly. "Nah, I know, bro. Hey, has Spitfire heard that story?"
"Save it for later, Streak," she said as she wandered off to the side. The three of us gathered away from the dancing crowd, and she added, "How are you doing, Soarin'? It's been a long week."
"I'm okay," I said. My eyes darted towards the front door. "Just worried about Braeburn."
Streak asked, "Why?"
For some reason, I felt this incredible urge to lie about… something. Just to, like… say that something was wrong with him and that I was being his big, strong stallion, and that I had everything under control. I shook that feeling off and said, "Eh, he'll be okay." I hadn't stopped looking at the door, though. "I hope he's okay."
Streak asked, "Maybe he just needs some space?"
That feeling came back: that same feeling I'd had when Holli and Braeburn were talking about his pink shirt. It made Braeburn seem far away, and for a second, I wondered if I'd open the door and find that he was gone. My pulse skipped a beat, and I said, "I'm gonna go check on him."
Spitfire waved a hoof. "He'll be fine, Soarin'. He's survived a lot more than… Soarin'?"
I had already walked away.
Those thoughts kept nagging at me, all the way to the front door. When I opened it, Braeburn and Wave Chill sat on the front step, looking at the stars and laughing and leaning on each other. Wave Chill had an open flask in one hoof, and his words were slurred. "Brae, I… I dun think I can go through with it." The flask had an apple etched onto it. His head turned to me, and his ears folded flat against his head. "Uh… Hey, Soarin'!" His goofy smile turned into a forced grimace.
Braeburn wrapped a hoof around Chill and head-butted his shoulder. His words were slurred, too, and he wobbled. "Relax," he said, looking at me. "Big Blue ain't in any position to judge." They snickered to each other, leaning on each other for support.
"What…" I took a deep breath and told myself not to get angry. "What's up?" I said as casually as I could. I sat down with them and tried to wrap a wing around Braeburn and separate him from Wave Chill.
But Braeburn shrugged me off and kept a foreleg around him. "Little space, please. Feelin'…" He saw me frown, then said, "Aw, not like that, Big Blue! C'mere!"
"Gah!" I shouted as Braeburn tackled me. My back slammed into the cloud beneath us, and he started kissing my stomach and sucking on my neck. He rubbed his body all over mine as he moaned into my chest. I finally put a hoof on his shoulder. "Uh… Braeburn?"
"Hm?" He tried to kiss my face, and he finally hit his mark on the fourth try. "Oh! Oh, shoot, sorry. Where are my manners?" He sat back up and looked at Chill. "We weren't done yet." Braeburn wiped some drool from his face.
Wave Chill was blushing, but it might have been the booze. He waved a hoof slowly but erratically. "It's… It's okay, Braeburn." His eyes looked red, and he kept nearly tipping over. It took him several awkward tries to screw the flask's cap back on and set it down. "I appreciate your advice."
I asked, "What's up?" I really, really wanted Braeburn in my wings. He seemed so… volatile.
Braeburn said, "Wave Chill here – great guy – he was askin' for some…" He leaned into me and loudly whispered, "…advice!" His breath reeked of booze.
Wave Chill looked away. "You don't need to tell him. Don't worry about it."
I pursed my lips and raised an eyebrow. "What kind of advice? Everything okay?"
"Just…" Chill started tapping his hoof and looking at the ground. "Don't worry about it. It's just some things that Star Drop wanted to–"
"They wanna try butt stuff!" Braeburn blurted out. It echoed around the neighborhood, and I could see all the color drain from Chill's face. Braeburn punched Chill on the foreleg. "She's already got toys and everything!"
"Dude!" Wave Chill shouted, his face twisted and his jaw wide open. He fell to the ground, then quickly scrambled up and pointed a hoof at Braeburn. "Not cool! Soarin's my freaking boss!" Chill stared at me, eyes unfocused. "I'm sorry! I'm super sorry! I–"
Braeburn waved a hoof at him. "Pfft. Like I was sayin', Soarin's in no place to judge." He nuzzled me. "Hell, he likes gettin' screwed blindfolded, and that's at least a half-step more extreme."
Wave Chill and I… Okay. Imagine walking in on your naked roommate and making direct eye contact.
While your roommate's making out with a framed picture.
Of your mom.
Wearing lingerie, signed with an X.
…while you're making out with a picture of their mom.
And neither of you can stop kissing it.
Thaaaat's about what it felt like.
Wave Chill finally grimaced, ears down. "Uh…" He looked to the side. "I'm… going to get some dessert." He quickly stood and mumbled, "Thanks for the, uh… a-advice, Brae. And the moonshine. I'm… yeah." He half-ran, half-stumbled back into the house.
The light breeze wound between the houses, making a small rustling noise that was only broken by Braeburn wiggling and laughing into my side.
I felt cold, even with him pressed up against me. Flatly, I asked, "Applebutt, how much have you had tonight?"
"Ain't hardly had any. Was thinkin' I might save it for somethin' special, but–" He burped, and it smelled like rotten lemons. "Sorry. Wind Chill wanted to try some."
"No, I mean… how much have you had to drink tonight?"
"Heh. Lot more than that candy-ass Chill." He mumbled, "Tell me how many shots an earth pony can take…"
The music pulsed behind us in the house. A few night birds squawked far below the clouds. Gently, I put a hoof on his shoulder. I didn't look at him as I said, "Brae… you need to stop."
"Dammit!" he snapped. "Really, Soarin'?" He pulled away and scowled at me. "I been stuck up here all week, and I finally get out of the… Out of… I finally get to have some fun, meet some ponies I can finally f… fuckin' relate to, and you want me to quit? I'm… Dammit!" He threw his head back, but he tipped over and fell to the ground. Quickly, he stumbled to his hooves and rubbed his temple with his hoof. "Sorry. Dammit, you're right, you're right." He grunted. "I gotta sober up. This ain't what I…" He sighed loudly. "I gotta be better. I wanna be better, not like this. Not in front of your friends."
My wings drooped, and my voice felt weak in my mouth. "They're… your friends, too." I stood up next to him. "We can talk–"
"You like dancin', right?" He scooped up his flask, stabilized himself, and looked at me. There were bags under his eyes, and he was sweating. "Let's go dance. Gimme somethin' else to do. Take my mind of puttin' on airs. Teach me?"
I paused and felt a knot in my heart. "Sure."
He grabbed my hoof and pulled me inside.
Silver Lining had taken over as DJ, and when we walked in, six or seven other ponies were dancing tightly together in the parlor. They'd pushed everything aside, and they were jumping and head-banging to the beat. Star Drop was grinding on Wave Chill, and Fire Streak had gotten Spitfire to bounce a little along the fringes. Braeburn dragged me to the middle, and we danced.
And he danced hard. He looked like he was completely entranced, and he threw his head and his body aggressively. He stomped the hardest, tossed his mane wildly, and thrashed his tail around, only barely finding the beat.
I tried to do like he did, so that maybe the others wouldn't keep glancing at us, but… I wasn't feeling it. My shirt was drenched with sweat from the hot room, and one of my favorite songs was playing, but I just couldn't. With the way he was dancing, I couldn't get close to him, and I found myself swaying along and just staring at his expression. Even in the dark and with all the movement, it wasn't hard to make out. His eyes were wrenched shut. His nose was scrunched. His mouth was locked into a deep frown, and he only broke it to suck in the occasional giant breath.
We kept dancing, and between two songs late in the night, Braeburn shuffled to me and said, "I need to use the bathroom."
My heart jumped. I felt that something was off, and I asked, "Do you want any help?"
He snorted. "Soarin', you know I love it when you grab me down there–" A few eyes snapped to us, but everypony else pretended not to notice. Silver Lining quickly threw on another track. "But maybe I can just do this one thing myself?"
I shrunk. He was trying to get away from me. I knew I wasn't imagining it, but at the same time, could I really blame him? I wondered if he wouldn't have had so much to drink if I'd just left him alone. Or would that have just made things worse? I didn't know. I still don't. Sometimes you never find out if you made the right call.
Quietly, I mumbled, "Okay."
Braeburn didn't say anything as he went up the stairs, tightly gripping the banister and taking another quick pull from his flask.
For almost a minute, I found myself stranded and alone in the middle of a room of dancing ponies. Braeburn was right: I knew what it meant to be lonely in the middle of a crowd.
I shuffled into the kitchen and sat at the table, where Fleetfoot and High Winds were talking. Both looked like they were ready to fall over, and as I sat down, Fleetfoot said, "Great party, Soarin'." Her lisp was more pronounced than usual, and her breath smelled like cider. "You should mysteriously disappear more often."
I gave her the benefit of the doubt and slumped. "Yeah. Sure."
High Winds lowered her head to look at me. "You doing okay? Where's Braeburn."
I sank a little lower. "Bathroom. He's… probably ready to call it a night."
"Yeah, we were thinking about heading out, too, but I don't know if Fleet's good to fly."
Fleetfoot sneered. "I'm good, Winds."
I waved a hoof. "It's cool. I've got a cab out there. He's on the payroll tonight, so you should probably just let him take you home."
She shrugged. "Whatever."
They talked for a while about… something. I don't know. Work, maybe? I tried to nod along, but a couple minutes later, Fleetfoot raised an eyebrow at me. "You're quiet tonight, Soarin'. I'm not gonna have to dump you into a motel again, am I?"
"No, you won't. And thanks." I sat up and rubbed my eyes while I took a deep breath. "I'll be fine."
"Okay. Just as long as you can fly on Monday." She looked behind me. "Oh, hey, Sightseer!"
I turned around and saw Sightseer. His grey wings were folded tightly in, and he hesitantly stepped up to me. His lips were pursed, and he whispered. "Um, Soarin'? I think you should check on Braeburn."
I stumbled to my hooves. Loudly, I asked, "Is he okay? What happened?"
Sightseer recoiled a little and said, "He's… out back. Spitfire's with him right now."
"Thanks, Sightseer!" I started to sprint out of the kitchen towards the back door, but then I paused. 'Braeburn wouldn't want a scene.' I ran out the front door and quickly flew around the house. The cool air stung, and I landed in my backyard near the porch.
Spitfire was out there, sitting hunched over and speaking softly to Braeburn, who was lying on the ground and covering his face with his forehooves. A flask sat next to him, tipped over, open, and empty. As I got closer, I saw that Braeburn was shaking.
Spitfire stood up, walked to me, and whispered, "I'll watch the door. Let me know if I should call an ambulance."
I mouthed, "Thank you." Spitfire went back inside. I could hear the loud music as she opened the door, but soon, it was muffled again. I sat down next to Braeburn and gently caressed his back with my wing. Softly, I said, "Hey, Braeburn. It's okay. I'm right here."
He was sobbing, and he didn't take his forehooves off his face. Softly, slowly, he whimpered, "There's no trees. 'S no trees."
I hadn't quite heard him. "I'm sorry, Braeburn. What was that?"
Louder, he sobbed, "There's no trees!" His head rolled back and forth under his hooves, and his words dripped like tears out of his mouth. "Nopony wants to talk about trees. They're… they're really impor'ant!"
As gently as I could, I said, "We can talk about trees if you want to, Braeburn." I felt like I was back in the Academy, taking care of one of my squad mates. "Wanna talk about apple trees?"
"No… Nopony knows about… about trees. They don't know how you… how to take care of 'em. Nopony wants to talk about 'em. Or how t' take care of 'em." He swallowed hard. "They can't… grow here."
My chest felt tight, and even though he was next to me, Braeburn felt so far away. "I'm sorry, Braeburn." I fished around in my mind for anything to say. "I'll… get you some trees."
Braeburn took one of his hooves from his face, then wrapped a foreleg around my hind leg. He hugged it tightly and pressed his face into my flank, and as he did, his horseshoes clicked together and glowed faintly for a second. His face was sweaty, and his voice was muffled, like he was barely parting his lips. "You're too good to me. You're really… I don't know, but it's nice, and y… you're too nice." He clung to me tightly, but the rest of his body had gone slack.
"Thanks, Braeburn." My insides felt hollow, and I knew from experience that when you're that far gone, there's not much anypony can do for you but just be there. As much as I wanted to hug him and carry him right to bed, I knew how dangerous that would be for both of us. Instead, I kept stroking his back and telling myself to be strong for him. "You're a good pony."
"I'm a f-fuckin' drunk!" he sobbed, pressing his face harder into my flank. "No good. 'm worthless. Fucked up, stupid drunk. Wings w-was… Wings was right."
My heart hurt even more, and to this day, I thank Luna I didn't realize who "Wings" was. I started to say, "Braeburn, you're amazing. You're the best thing that's–"
"I wanna go home."
My blood filled with ice.
Braeburn let go and wobbled up to a sitting position next to me and facing away from the condo. "No! I'm sorry. I shouldn'ta said that. You're sassa… se… Ugh…" He shook his head. "It hurts you." He leaned his head on me. "I don't wanna hurt you. I wanna tough it out. You're nice. I love you. I love you, Soarin'." He wiped a tear with my shoulder. "I love you. A lot. A lot."
He was shivering slightly, so I covered him with my wing. "Thanks, Brae. I… love you, too."
Braeburn pulled away from me. He looked down. His eyes were watering, and they'd grown so dull, so different from just a few hours before. He wasn't sobbing anymore. Instead, he was sucking in big breaths and shivering, and he was sweating profusely. "Guh… Hrm–" He cleared his throat. "G… garbage. Quickly, please."
I was already on it. I knew the signs, and by the time he'd finished saying it, I'd brought my metal garbage can over and tipped it towards him.
Braeburn gripped the can tightly with his forelegs, and his voice was choked between his labored breaths. "Any… Hrng!" He swallowed. "Anypony l-lookin'?"
I looked back and saw Spitfire facing away, blocking the back door. "No, we're–"
"HRRGLK!" Braeburn dipped his head forward and retched, the awful sound accompanied by the hollow, tinny rattle of vomit splashing into the garbage. "Gmuh!" he gasped as the air filled with a putrid, sour smell. Braeburn's hooves shook on either side of the can, and he let out shaky breaths. "Oh…" he moaned. "Oh, dammit. O-oh fughLRGHK!" He puked again into the can, then sobbed into it.
I gently stroked his back and quietly said, "It's okay, Applebutt. Get it all out." I held up a wing between him and the door. "We're safe. Nopony can see us."
He cried into the garbage, then vomited again, less this time, then hawked and spit some of the bile into the can. He spit a few more times.
"It's okay," I said. I shut out everything else that was going on in my mind. There were a million ways to read what was happening, and none of them were good. All the thoughts about him and Appleloosa and Bronze kept pressing in on me like I'd stumbled into a giant thunderhead, but I clenched my eyes and shut them all out. Braeburn needed me. "It's okay."
Braeburn breathed into the can for a few more seconds, then softly said, "Sorry, Big B... Nnng…" He whined and groaned, and after spitting up a little more, he had to try about four times before he managed to say, "I'll clean it. Clean it… it all up. Tomorrow."
My wings drooped at my sides. "Don't worry about it."
His voice echoed in the can. "You muss… muss think I'm a… I'm an asshole."
"No!" I hugged him. "It's fine, Braeburn. Really. It happens." I kissed his shoulder, desperate to make him feel closer.
He sighed. "Dizzy, Soarin'. World's… spinnin'." He heaved again, shook his head, and whined.
I kissed his neck. The smell was overwhelmingly sour. "How do I make it better?"
Braeburn shook his head in the can. "There's no trees."
My body felt heavy. "What?"
"Can't help. No trees."
I looked out at my small backyard, just big enough to warrant a fence. Of course there weren't any trees, not near my place or anypony else's. I sighed. "I know, Braeburn. And I'm sorry." I really was.
He mumbled, "There's no… no trees."
My insides felt like they were turning over, but even so, I knew Braeburn's stomach felt worse. "Let's go to bed, Applebutt."
He sucked in two more breaths before he pulled his head out of the garbage can and set it upright. "Yeah…" He stumbled as he stood, but I caught him. "Aw, hell. I'm sorry, Soarin'." He cleared his throat and squinted. I could see him try to piece together the words, and he kept sweeping his head back and forth. "I made… I made a mess of things. I'm a mess. I… Ugh, I'm terrible."
"It's fine, Brae."
"I w-wanna say goodbyes. Please?" He looked at me with dull, unfocused eyes. "I don't wanna go without… bein'… polite. Could you get me a napkin? I'm too gross…"
I wiped the vomit off his face with my sleeve. "You're not gross, and you look great."
"Heh. Are you… are you… even lookin' at me?"
I kissed him on the lips. I didn't care about the taste. "Don't have to. I just know."
He sobbed again, but he smiled, too, and his head shook slowly. "You're too good, Big Blue."
I led him to the door, where he stood up straight, if a little wobbly. He went in by himself, stiff-faced.
Spitfire turned to us. "You okay, Braeburn?"
Braeburn nodded. He chose his words carefully. "I am," he said slowly, struggling to keep eye contact. "But I think I've… had enough fun… for tonight." He took two big breaths and straightened up again. "Sorry 'bout how I acted." He sounded mostly lucid, and it made me wonder how many times he'd gone around Appleloosa when he'd been like this.
Spitfire smiled. "You're fine, Braeburn. Soarin's done way worse than this."
"Thank you for visiting." He bowed, then walked past. "Have a good night."
We quickly went through the condo and said goodbye to everypony. It was almost three in the morning, and most of the team started leaving, even after Braeburn told them they could stay. Blaze had kept her cab on retainer, too, and between the two of us, we paid to get everypony home safely.
And yes. After Spitfire had kissed Fire Streak goodnight, she left with Misty Fly and Blaze, and they were laughing as they stepped into the cab.
I walked Braeburn up to our bedroom. He gracelessly flopped onto the bed, and I got him some water before tucking him in. "Thanks, Big Blue."
"No problem, Applebutt." I sat on the bed next to him.
"Sorry fo–"
"Braeburn, stop." I stroked his back. "It's fine. But…" Something tore at my insides, and now that he was safely in bed, I couldn't hold it in. "Braeburn? Do you… hate it here?"
He groaned. "This ain't the time, Soarin'."
"Yeah," I said firmly. "It is."
Eyes closed, Braeburn grabbed my hoof. "I ain't gonna leave over a few trees."
…
Earth ponies are amazing, aren't they?
For a second, everything on my mind flitted away. "Thanks, Braeburn." I kissed his forehead. "G'night. I'll be up soon. Love you."
"Love you, too." He sighed and was out like a light.
With a last look at Braeburn, I went back downstairs. Fire Streak, Sightseer, and Holli were the only ones left. They'd turned off the music and done a pretty great job of cleaning up the bottles and plates. And the best part? Clouds don't stain.
My body wanted to fall apart, and Holli looked like she'd tip over. She sat at the table while Sightseer finished a few dishes, and I said, "Go home, Holli."
She giggled. "You're just sayin' that so I'll disobey and spend the whole night cleaning. Nice try." She winked at me.
"You got me," I said. "But don't you have work tomorrow?"
"Took it off, but you're right. I think I'm ready to head out. Extra food's in the fridge."
"Thanks for everything." I nodded at Sightseer as he put the last of the dishes on the drying rack and hung up the towel. "Both of you."
Holli stood, sauntered up to me, and kissed my nose. "No problem, Sugar. Have a good night." She called into the parlor. "Nice meeting you, Fire Streak!"
Streak stuck his head in, and I could see a bag of bottles in one hoof. "You, too!"
Holli put on her saddlebags and waved over her shoulder as she walked to the cab, which had just gotten back. She climbed inside.
Sightseer grabbed his things and stopped in the doorway, his saddlebags over his back and holding a glass bowl that had long been empty. "Thanks for the party, Soarin'. Is… Braeburn going to be okay?"
I sighed. "Yeah, he'll be okay."
He stuck a lower lip out. "He seemed kinda sad about living he–"
"He's fine, Sightseer." I ran a hoof through my mane. "But thanks. I'll let him know you were worried about him."
He paused, then held out a hoof. "Alright. Thanks again, Captain."
I bumped his hoof, wished him a good night, and closed the door behind him. I walked into the parlor just as Streak returned from dumping the rest of the bottles into the recycling. We collapsed onto the couch together, and Streak said, "Great party, bro."
"Thanks, bro." We shared a hoof-bump.
"Braeburn okay?"
I snorted, then sighed. "Yeah, he'll be okay." Half of me wanted to talk with him, but the other, more tired half was barely functioning, and honestly, I just wanted the night to be over. "You remember where the blankets are?"
Fire Streak rubbed his eyes. "Yeah. Good night, Soarin'. And great job at the show."
"You, too, Captain."
We gave each other a half-hearted salute, and Streak curled up on the couch. I forced myself up the stairs, brushed my teeth, and joined Braeburn in bed.
You get it, right? I was worried about him. I cared about how he was doing, about his happiness. I really did.
But I'm not a good pony. I'm not a good coltfriend. If I was, I would have seen the red flags. I would have realized how hard this was on him, and I would have stopped worrying about my own fucking desires and made the right choice. I would have stayed up all night, agonizing over how to make it right and asking myself the question I already knew the answer to. I would have seen the big picture.
But I didn't. Instead, I fell asleep thinking about how to plant a tree.